Author's note: I take absolutely no credit for the lovely Indian love lyrics in this chapter; they are an excerpt roughly translated from Hindi to English of a performance named Maar Dala (It Killed Me)from the film Devdas, an extraordinary love story in its own right.
Chapter Three
Day two of the barraz was usually a late start, as most of the Besaid Islanders hit the first night with far greater enthusiasm than their more urban counterparts, like in Luca or the Capital, where the drinking of the black was done in dainty, restrained sips. A more relaxed attitude prevailed, gifts or repayment of debts usually took place on this day, until sunset, then the men's dance began. It was simply an excuse for the men to cut loose, strut & shine, as the Spirean culture held that both sexes were equally beautiful & graceful, but most working families had men as primary supporters, with little chance to pursue the arts. Tidus liked to dance, but usually only in a group, solos felt too much like a preening bird in an awkward courting phase; being from Zanarkand, he had a far more of an urban attitude than the inhabitants of the Besaid Isles. He absentmindedly stretched in the late morning sun on beach, then dove in the clear water from the shoreside Oceanus statue to refresh himself for the evening's riotous insanity. He swam, & frolicked near where he had left his Christina in her element last night, smiling, childishly imagining he'd find her footsteps in the sand of the ocean floor.
Yuna was nowhere to be found when he returned to her house to pick up fresh clothing from the storage chest he kept in a spare bedroom there. He usually didn't wear much of anything but athletic clothing designed for blitzball or the protective clothing of a guardian. He had secretly kept the Earth Surf shorts & the pendant stuffed into the backpack Christina insisted he take through the gate, & decided to wear the pendant tonight under the loose comfortable tunic & pants everyone usually wore on Besaid. A marketplace seller had braided a thin strip of leather in a complex weave into a necklace for the glittering pendant, which hung low on his sculpted torso. He had thought of wearing the tightly twisted pareo, a short loincloth of fabric that clearly outlined the island men's assets; there were teams of men who danced in the pareo & it never failed to attract the women's attention, which was of course, highly desired. The long-held unspoken custom in Besaid for the second night of the barraz was that the men were courted by the women; Tidus hoped the pendant would be enough of a subtle signal to Christina that she would know to pick him. No way was he going to wear Kymara blossoms like a wafter or a pubescent youth.
The afternoon progressed in to a long lazy day for Christina, who idled at the beach, surfing & swimming, then taking part in a refreshing meal with several women of the temple, all nursing hangovers from the black & atwitter at the chance to court a man tonight. She later soaked in one of the volcanic springs with Dara & two giggling novices; the girls wasted no time in relating the charming custom of Besaid to her, each teasingly claiming each other's crush from the night before. Dara also mildly teased them, asking how could they remember a man, if they were so blindly intoxicated they couldn't remember their own names last night? "Lady Dara, there are just some men you can never forget! Remember how Excelion looked the first time he attended the barraz 3 years ago? The pareo of black leather & the jeweled armbands? He was so showered with favors & gifts, no one could see his neck!"
"Ahh, yes…Excelion is a fine figure of a man, his buttocks are plump and well muscled as a stallion…but then, I always favored a fair head over the dark. I remember giving a fire headed creature my earrings of green chataphrsye once; speaking of gifts- Lady Christina, do you have enough gifts left for favors tonight? There is time to go to the stalls in the market if you need to."
Christina smilingly agreed, as she thought to be fair & gift as many men as she could to ensure no hurt feelings; besides as a guest of Besaid, she felt it better to tread lightly & appreciate everything offered somehow. She had thought that her beautiful evening with Tidus the night before was near perfection, & had hugged herself in delight more than once this day at the sweetness of the memory. It was all she had desired in him, except for the surprise of his holding back of pleasure for himself. But in the light of day, the unspoken promises between them seemed to fade; she had the thought he was done with her, he had appeased the gods with his offering of himself to her and would go on to another lover tonight, as any normal Besaidan would.
She told herself: I should let go now; he has given the best of himself to me; it will be a jewel of memory to set in a Besaidan golden day.
Dara saw Christina's sad smile to herself & amusedly thought: So, you think this soul-bond between you & Tidus-san has run its course, young human? You don't know Spireans – you have only seen the smoke, so far. Just wait until the spark sets fire. It will be a new world for you tomorrow. And I? I will welcome a new world.
There were a thousand things at the market stalls; garlands of flowers, jeweled earrings, armbands by the hundreds, pareos of liquid silks, brocades & the infamous soft black leather Excelion had made popular. There were exquisite warrior-chains in all metals for the neck or even a well sculpted torso, all designed to enhance the male figure; there were more primal things, things for the carnal act between woman & man also; all not only acceptable, but encouraged, in this festival of pleasure. Fascinated, she picked up a superbly carved ring of shell, obviously made to enhance a male, admired its smooth curves & pearlescent finish, glinting with all the colors of ocean; the seller teased her gently about thinking of her Oceanus & suddenly weak at the knees from the memory of Tidus standing nude in front of the Oceanus altar, she hastily set it down.
At Dara's suggestion, Christina chose an entire basket of garlands made of kymara blooms & a set of intricately carved drinking cups for anyone she knew by name, as the blooms would be a charming reminder of her symbol that Tidus had created; the cups could be filled with drink & presented as a polite gesture; it was a common theme to offer a cup to man with a courtly phrase this evening.
But what of Tidus? What gift shall you give him? Her mind asked from a locked away corner. Christina shook her head, thinking it'd be ridiculous of her to give a gift to someone who clearly had her only to fulfill an act of atonement. Yet the mental finger kept poking her, nagging her to remember his words, 'whatever pleasure I give a woman, it will be returned threefold when I ask for it'; and then the thought sprang to her mind, unbidden: He's trying to tell you he wants you to give him the pleasure he gave you.
And then she had it. All she needed was something to offer the invitation; a symbol that she understood his desire very well. The jeweler's stall on the end had exactly what she needed. Then she asked Dara where she could entertain for an evening that was less mundane than her room, a place she politely described as a setting for a jewel of Yevon. Dara inwardly cackled, enjoying the polite game of protocol immensely, then gave her the key to her summerhouse flet in the garden; it was secluded, furnished exquisitely ( she'd had her lovers stay when she was young & warmed a little at the memories) & the dwelling would be deserted – Dara planned to spend her evening drinking with old friends after the men's dance was over. Christina carefully bundled some items together, then quietly & quickly walked them to the flet. She played with Tidus' gift for a few minutes, then walked up the path to escort Dara to the barraz.
The barraz was a far different experience than the first night. The air was sexually charged; men were proudly walking about bare-chested, skin oiled, with armbands delicately showing off sculpted arms; pareos were wrapped tightly about well shaped hips, & of course, one saw every style of dress, or undress, in between.
Tidus was on the more casual side, as he didn't want to draw too much attention to himself; he just wanted Christina to notice him; his gilt spiked hair was at least brushed until it shone; he wore a pair of deep blue tunic pants, loose & cool, knotted at the hips firmly to prevent any woman from excitedly creating an embarassing display with the pendant dangling from the intricately woven cord, brushing against his upper abdominals in a subtle pointer to the trimness of his waist. Everyone crowded close to see the Akiro clan start the men's dancing; the clan head, Akaharsu Akiro, was the catch in his day & insisted his clan have faultless grouping & perfect timing, even if they had to stand on their heads.
Everyone applauded the striking performance to the old song, 'Isle of Kisses' & women began to throw garlands, bring cups of drink, murmur compliments in between the subsequent dances; groups came & went, some with incredible solos breaking out; some were joined by male onlookers as the mood took them, when they recognized a favorite beat or a went to support a friend trying to make his best impression on a girl. Excelion & a group of temple men made their appearance in a very striking set of moves, imitating the hunt; they had practiced hard & the work showed in the way they moved as one, advancing to their prey, the women, with wide white smiles & mock pounces; Excelion broke out into a solo, leaping high over a group of crouching men, then using a sword, balancing it, moving in a rhythmic display of balance & holding subtly sexual poses as he smoothly moved in time with the beat.
Christina appreciated the skill with the sword no small amount & wondered why Tidus was standing there to the side & to the back , when he could easily outshine this dark bronzed man with silk-black hair & richly brocaded pareo. She made up her mind to be a good guest & brought Excelion a drink, presenting the cup, smiling & with a simple compliment to his beauty, which was like that of the sword he wielded & she was sure he would slay a city with it, should he come to Earth. Startled, Excelion bows, accepting the cup; Tidus' heart plummets – she is showing that over-jeweled half flooping wafter HER favor!
Excelion notes Tidus' dismayed face & enigmatically amused like old Dara, he decides to tilt the favor to Tidus, for a kindly heart lived under the temple training & dark glamor of Excelion. He knew how Tidus yearned for this woman's attention. He had been the go-between on building the surfboard, & he knew that no man would go to such trouble for a woman's happiness unless he were in deep water. He walks over to Tidus & begins a tease to draw Tidus out: "Can you believe the quality of this cup? The Earth woman has taste, by the god! What eyes she has, I wonder if she is a jewel of Yevon underneath the tunic! She would be lonely by now, no lover has claimed her, yes? I would be happy to do the job myself if you don't care to offer, Tidus!"
Jealousy flares & Tidus knocks the cup from his hand, but Excelion just grins: "Ah-Hah! Now we know the metal of your mettle!" Stepping closer, he gently squeezes the bronzed shoulder & his eyes now serious, he says: "Tidus, I will help you get her. Come. Dance, you can do it – the sword exercises, you know, the ones we do in the mornings. We'll all be here, with you."
Another man picks up the cup, refills it, & grinning, tilts a draught down Tidus' throat, then gives him a friendly shove into the group. The beat begins; chanting, the men arrange themselves & they start to move in rhythm, Tidus loosening up with the familiar moves of the sword practice, which was always set to drums to encourage an unconscious rhythm; the men slowly push him up front until he is beside Excelion, the two forming a perfect foil for each other; one a richly gleaming dark jewel & the other a golden fire under the torchlight.
Cheering, the crowd begins to call for Tidus to do a solo; favors fly, garlands of kymara pelt him, a hundred women are in the front are sighing with desire: but not seeing a favor from Christina, he starts to melt back into the group of men. Christina takes her cue, & as he turns away, she thinks of Tidus with all her heart & mind, then pulls at the metal chain at her neck & casts it; singing, the necklace expands into a glittering arc & whips around his wrist, with a sting from the last links. The crowd is delighted to see this outright act of claiming; it was audacious, & nothing succeeds in war or love like audacity, which pleased their hearts; they begin to trill & chant as Christina lets the chain maille wrap itself mindlessly around her wrist, then slowly steps forward, never giving any slack to the thread of metal, until she reaches Tidus, who was none too gently pushed back to the front by his grinning, sweating, & envious dance partners. She called for one of the novices to bring her basket, & with charming glances at the crowd of men, she offers them the remaining favors, one by one. Then beautiful Tidus, her golden Tidus, is left snared in a golden chain. Emphasizing her words carefully, she spoke, pitching her voice to be heard above the giggles & twitters of the women:
"Guardian Tidus, tonight I have seen a fire in the night that burned more brightly than day; I hope you remember your lessons on the art of…war on Earth & can show me how well you do battle now. I beg of you, one dance tonight, for…me." Christina leaves the chain maille on his wrist as her mark of favor, which had a key to Dara's summerhouse flet attached.
Tidus' heart sings at the memory of the war of love on Earth & he nods, understanding in his eyes. Now confident, he nods to the drummers, picks up Excelion's sword & moves into an opening stance. He moves through the sword exercises to the beat & and encouraged by the chanting of the men, he begins to improvise his steps; he remembers the first night he & Christina were lovers, how he caught her with the chain maille; now fearless, he starts to use the chain maille as he moved, at first a demonstration of a deadly but beautiful weapon, swinging it in glittering arcs, then letting it wrap around his torso, his arms, his waist, as he continued to move with the beat. He ends the solo with a snap of the wrist, sending the end of chain maille to gently land at Christina's feet, just waiting to be picked up again.
Delighted again, the crowd roars it approval at the clever display of manly strength & the couple's maneuvering through the protocol of the second night of barraz.
Tidus was awesomely drunk when he left the barraz, as the men poured drinks down his throat, cooing & fussing over his luck in getting the earthling's attention; the women called out & teased him also, loading him with garlands of kymara, singing courtly couplets of love poetry. Then as the women moved on, singing & teasing new arrivals, now engaged in the dance & protocols of barraz courtship, he left to find Christina.
The key was no puzzle, but he was diverted by the fact it belonged to old Dara, after seeing her symbol stamped in the metal; he'd heard tales from the guardians about Dara's barraz days. He almost whistled when he stepped onto the luxurious flet; it was hung with fabric, like the desert-dweller's tents, but it was light & airy, letting in ocean breezes if desired. Swaying a little, he blinked at the sight of his prize, his earth woman sitting on the sleeping platform, now clad in just a sheer veil wrapped saree style about her; it left nothing to the imagination, & he was glad he didn't have to use his imagination, as he had done with past bed-partners; she was a gem, from her tumble of glossy hair to the delicate sculpted vase of her torso, crowned with breasts that were not too large, nor shallow cups; he loved the way her hips gently flared, with a ripple of muscle, further enhanced by slim muscled legs, with two well made feet, strongly arched as a runners, made for dancing, perched like two butterflies on the edge of the sleeping platform.
Christina surprised him with the first move; she rose & gently knelt for a moment, touching his feet, then heart then forehead in the Indian gesture of respect at the beginning of the book of Kama Sutra she remembered. She thought she would try to make it as much of a ritual as he did last night, & focus on giving him the pleasure of all the senses. She had thought about how she should behave while waiting in the candlelit pleasure-tent, & decided she would lead; her memory of Tidus' last words about returning threefold was still strong in her mind & she took that as something of a challenge. Am I capable of that much? Would this night bring him as dizzying array of sensual overload as I had? She looked down at the bite mark she had left in her hand from stifling her cry during the second gate. Tidus, what the hell is sex here, anyway? Sometimes it seems like breathing here, everyone is so sexually charged; then it seems like it's sacred. I have no idea which direction to take it tonight! Well, Christy girl, here it goes…just dive in & pray it doesn't blow up in my face…
Tidus was shocked at first when Christina initiated contact, then charmingly caressed his face, reciting an old Indian love lyric:
Whose foot step is this?
Whose shadow is this?
There was a knock at my heart, who entered here?
Who spread this vibrant color over me?
Christina's fingers drift down his neck, his chest & torso, leaving trails of exquisite fire, which she follows with kisses at the tantric points of desire on the neck just below the ear, the hollow between the collarbones & the sun-bronzed nipple; he gasps as she suddenly bites down, but as she hovers on the edge of pain, he burns with a searing intensity he'd never felt before. "The lash of a tiger's tail" she softly informs him. Slowly, he begins to understand that she took his words literally, & the secret voice inside of him slyly whispers; Yes! YES! Let her come to him! Drown me in pleasure, darling girl! And then with a deep excitement he finds himself letting go; shaking with desire, he allows gentle hands to untie the loose pants & let them drop to the floor with a caress to his backside, another shock; her arms slide under his, tighten around his slim waist & pick him up with an unexpected strength, walking two steps, then gently depositing his frame on the bed-platform.
Dazed, he looks up thinking: Holy Yevon, did she just do what I thought she did? Taking another cue from a memory of the Kama Sutra, she daintily kneels, picks up the silken drape over the soft mattress & kisses it before slowly climbing on top of him, pausing to kiss other points of his body he had never thought of as erotic before: the inside of a thigh; the gentle bump of the pelvic bone; the beating pulse point of his wrist. What happened next was wholly unexpected: her head dipped down between his legs & began congress orally; on Spirea, it was an act reserved for same-sex couples, & he momentarily began to fight it; she grabbed his wrists, pulled them off her hair & held them down as she ruthlessly continued; sweating, gasping, he climaxed with an intensity he'd never felt before.
As he lay there, the red heat of the climax subsiding, she reached over his head, poured a draught & rinsed her mouth, then shyly smiled at him; Tidus began to shyly smile back & then with a whoop, he throws his arms back above his head on the soft bed, laughing in sheer delight: "I knew you'd be like the black!"
Christina also begins to quietly laugh, then pours some of the beverage on him from the goblet in her hand; 'There, now thee are blessed by the water goddess, Tidus mine!"
"Yours?" he is suddenly intent, hopeful of hearing more.
Christina's face burns at the slip of her tongue; Tidus saw her face in the candlelight, shyly blushing & eyes downcast as a virgin's & inwardly, he delights in the knowledge that she feels for him. He picks up the hand now nervously plucking at the pillow propping up his head & kisses it, then gently leads it down his body in a controlled caress; then the second of Earth's love lessons begins for Tidus.
The Sporting of the Sparrow, owww…riiight..more like the endurance flight of an eagle! Christina thought as she pushed her tired leg muscles to keep moving , after taking the dominant position with Tidus; head thrown back, the bronzed skin glistening with a fine sheen of sweat, his soul takes flight, as he is freed from the physical work of pleasure-making & the second gate is broken through. Feeling somewhat shaken at not being in control, he pulls Christina close, to feel some normalcy again in this journey of pleasure; his gilt head is softly kissed & soon, she is filling him with the deep, sensual & satisfying kisses he gave her the evening before; their hands meet & clasp, then Tidus feels her slyly let go, shaking the chain maille loose & wrapping it around both their wrists, binding them as they were on the 1st night he seduced her into letting him be her lover.
Overcome, now understanding the sensual eroticism of letting go of control & receiving pleasure, he simply became a tsunami, pulling Christina to him, using all the virile young strength of his body to express his newfound sense of sexuality; too late, Christina realizes she had not satisfied him, but only incited, invited him; strong arms lift her up & he jumps off the dizzying height she has brought him to, fiercely allowing himself pleasure, his voice rising in a wordless cry at the breaking point of release.
He comes to his senses eventually, & exhausted, he regards the wondrous creature tangled in his arms. Touched to the point of tenderness with Christina at breaching the barriers of Spirea's protocols, he is near speechless. Wordlessly, he lays there looking at her in the candlelight & the trembling words form in his mind: Oh Christina, what have you done? For the first time in my life, I didn't have to be someone else at their demand; I didn't have to be a guardian, or a hero, either. I've been hiding behind giving pleasure, pleasing everyone, so I didn't have face the fact I didn't know how to receive it . No one has ever seen me so clearly...
Shaken herself, physically near exhaustion, Christina lies quietly in the shelter of Tidus' arms, also looking at him. When the candle by the bed gutters & dies, she silently finishes the evening with a simple Namaste of hands to forehead & bows, hands to heart. A profound silence is shared between them; nothing more needed to be said, but they still communicated their interior landscape with the way they treated each other; gentle supportive arms encircled a slim waist; a hand was tenderly taken & kissed; cascades of warm water were poured like offerings over heads & down backs in the warm pool in the garden outside the door of the flet; tired arms were massaged of their burning aches & in turn, gently rubbed hips that had been well worked; a kymara bloom finds its way into Benedictine amber hair, then is later captured by another loving, teasing hand for memory's sake.
Tidus' voice, shy & thick with unspoken emotions finally whispers; "Goodnight, Christina" …but his mind says: How do I ever let you go, now that you know me?
And then she is left there in the soft night, alone.