This one was a bit harder for me, as I don't see Traci and Sam talking a lot about their feelings (since he wouldn't even talk to Andy about them), but I think I found a happy middle between not saying anything and over-sharing. :) Thanks to everyone reading and reviewing. Please continue to let me know what you think!

Disclaimer: I don't own Rookie Blue.

Almost a brother, Almost a husband

Prompt: Sam and Traci talking about how much Jerry loved them both.

Featuring: Sam and Traci

Sam headed to the locker room as soon as he reached the station, getting so far as to open his locker and unbuckle his belt before he realized he no longer needed to change into a uniform. He looked around, thankful no one had caught him, before hooking his badge to his belt and closing his locker.

He walked into parade and perched himself on one of the tables in the back moments before Frank took his place at the front of the room. At the end of the briefing Frank had one more announcement before releasing everyone. "And lastly, I'd like to congratulate one of our own on making detective - Sam Swarek." Frank's 'protect and serve' comment of the day was lost in the applause and congratulations for Sam. Not one to like the spotlight, he simply gave a small smile and mumbled a few 'thank you's.'

After parade, he met with Frank briefly and then walked into the detectives' office to find two empty desks for him to choose from. One way back in the corner under a flickering fluorescent light that no one could ever seem to fix, or Jerry's desk. He walked up to his friend's old desk and stood there staring at it. Traci, who sat at her desk facing Jerry's, looked up to see Sam standing there.

"He'd want you to have it," she said softly. She wasn't sure how much she could talk to Sam about Jerry. They'd known each other for three years, but never been very close. However, she probably knew him better than most of the rookies, simply because of her connection to Jerry and Andy, and Sam's connection to them.

Sam didn't move, but shifted his eyes over to Traci when she spoke.

"He'd be happy, knowing you're the one sitting there, Sam." She hoped he'd understand how fitting it was for him to be the one taking over Jerry's desk.

"Yeah, okay," Sam finally. He pulled the chair out and sat down cautiously, as if the desk and chair were porcelain and could break under his touch. He opened the file Frank had given him earlier and tried to read up on his first case as detective, but he read the same sentence multiple times before realizing he couldn't focus. He pushed out a breath.

"It's tough." Traci's voice broke the silence once again and Sam looked over his computer at her. "I couldn't come back here right after...after he died. I couldn't sit here looking at his desk, looking at the empty chair that he'd never sit in again. But, it got better."

Sam simply nodded, trying to believe what she said was true and that it would become easier to sit where Jerry sat, work where Jerry worked, use the phone Jerry used. His eyes searched the desk, looking for any evidence still lingering that Jerry had been here, but Chris and Dov had done a good job cleaning out the desk. That's when Sam's eyes landed on the red blinking light on the phone indicating a voicemail. He picked up the receiver, but quickly realized he couldn't access the voicemail system.

"Uh, they must've...I can't...they forgot to reset his voicemail password," Sam said. He stumbled over his words, still finding it hard to talk about Jerry and the fact he was gone.

"Stella67," Traci replied, without missing a beat. When Sam gave her a curious look, she continued. "The password, it's Stella67."

Sam shook his head as a smile crept over his face. He should have known. "He loved that car."

"He did. Got rid it of it for Leo and me. I thought he'd regret it, but..." Traci began tapping her pen absentmindedly against the desk as she thought about the SUV he brought home, with a car seat for Leo already strapped in.

"He didn't, you know. I was with him when he traded the car in. He couldn't have been more excited to have a car you felt comfortable having Leo ride in. He'd do - He would have done anything for you," Sam said, putting the phone down, not concerned with the unchecked voicemail anymore.

"I loved him so much. I still love him even though he's not here," she said.

"I never saw him happier. In all the years I've known him...You made him happy Nash."

"He wanted to see you happy too. He'd hate..." Traci took a deep breath, wondering how Sam would take what she wanted to say. She decided the heck with it, she was going to say what she was thinking. "He'd hate to see what happened between you and Andy after he died, whether it was directly because of his death or not."

Sam looked across the desks at her with wide eyes, not believing the words that had come out of her mouth.

"Look, I don't want to butt in, but Andy's my best friend, so I know what happened. And Jerry was going to be my husband, so I think I have a right to speak for him. And he'd tell you, you were being an idiot." There, she'd said it. She'd wanted to say it for a while and something about being on even footing with him as a detective gave her the confidence.

"I...that was...well, okay." He struggled to find words to fire back at her because she was right, even if he hated to admit it. Jerry would've called him on his idiocy and forced him to talk to Andy sooner, before the day she was holding a grenade.

Traci went back to work, typing up a report on the computer, and Sam began reading the file in front of him. Several minutes passed before he looked across his desk again at Traci. "He couldn't wait to marry you, you know. Was ready to ask you two months earlier, but wanted to make it special and do it on your anniversary."

That brought tears to Traci's eyes as she didn't know that. "Sam...thanks. He never told me." She let out a sigh. "And thanks for talking about him. Everyone still treats the topic of Jerry like the plague around me."

Sam gave her a knowing smile. While Sarah hadn't died, after she was attacked their friends and classmates refused to utter her name around him for fear it would upset him.

"You and Oliver, you were like the brothers he never had. He loved you guys like family. Hope you know that," she said.

Sam nodded; Jerry and Oliver were like the brothers he never had. "And you were his family, even if it wasn't legal yet. I hope you know that." Traci returned his smile.

With that, they returned to work, but a small weight had been lifted off of both Sam and Traci, knowing now that they had someone they could talk to about his best friend and her fiancé.

A/N: Hope you enjoyed! I should have another story up this weekend. :)