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-YOURLOVEYOURLOVEYOURLOVE
Hoshi: The Robins tie up their loose ends.
Warning: Het, slash, femslash, crack. The Robins are OOC as all get out, and I might have given up on making everyone else IC. This story doesn't really have a reason until the last chapter. And a TON of Fire Emblem: Awakening spoilers! Beat that game first if you care about spoilers! Robins are freaking creepers, like seriously. Dr. Mario makes fun of the Fire Emblem support conversation system. Grima is freaking creepy. Hey, actual plot! Don't mess with Animal Crossing. You don't want to mess with them. Jigglypuff is disappointed in you plebs.
Hoshi: I think I missed Bowser Jr., Dr. Mario, Ganondorf, and Jigglypuff since they weren't officially confirmed when I first wrote this. Ah well, their time is NOW! …the Koopalings?
Hoshi: …
Hoshi: They can go in the first bonus story after this one is complete.
-ISMYDRUG
Dr. Mario
"This is a family game." Dr. Mario said almost immediately. "If I hear one line that sounds like it could be in a cheap r18 flick, then I am leaving."
"Wh-?!" Robin blushed. "What made you think that would be the first thing out of our mouths?!"
"It's amazing how little the smashers have come to think of us…" Marc laughed nervously.
"Ah, then are you here for a physical?" Dr. Mario cocked his head. "Or were you injured somewhere?"
'You just said something that could've been in a cheap r18 flick, you lousy…' Robin glared at the doctor.
"Nah, just here to ask for your number." Marc answered.
"Awfully quick of you two." Dr. Mario chuckled. "Do you not know how to properly romance someone? A date on the first meeting is like getting married after talking to each other three times." Dr. Mario shook his head. "Who does that?"
"Uh…" Marc looked away. Memories of their previous timelines and all the people they married flashed through their minds. Robin mentally slapped herself out of it.
"We know how to romance!" Robin protested. "Who the hell do you think we are?!"
"We've only done that with about, oh, I don't know, ninety people…" Marc scoffed.
"So quantity over quality, then?" Dr. Mario quipped. "Sorry to say I don't see the appeal."
'This guy's shutting us down. ABORT, ABORT.' Robin thought.
"I think we'll have to reschedule our physical, Dr. Mario." Marc cleared his throat. "We'll be back at the same time tomorrow."
'We need a new plan of attack.' Marc thought as he left the room with Robin.
'Yeah, you don't have to tell me twice.' Robin thought.
"Hm." Dr. Mario hummed as they left. "And I was looking forward to checking them out too." He pulled out his chart on Marc's regenerative abilities. "That can't be human, after all."
.-.-.-.-.
"Nurses do not wear high heels, Marc." Robin shook her head in exasperation.
"Sexy ones do." Marc pointed out. "Then again, if I'm going to impress a doctor, I should probably actually know medical things and high heels aren't proper procedure…" He kicked them off and into a box labeled, 'For Emergencies Only.'
"So dressing up is out, I suppose." Robin changed out of her doctor outfit. "Impersonating a doctor is illegal too. Not that we haven't done a number of illegal things already."
"As gorgeous as I am, I don't think I can pull off Nurse Peach and her giant syringe of doom that definitely isn't proper procedure." Marc nodded as he changed out of his nurse uniform.
"He's not easy enough to win over by aiming for his stomach either." Robin reasoned.
"We could have a heart-to-heart talk, I suppose." Marc suggested.
"He'd tear us apart like the shipper trash fodder scum we are, Marc." Robin shook her head. "I'm not up for another round of that."
"Well, at least now you somewhat understand how Link feels." Marc giggled.
"I suppose robbing banks, redecorating his home, protecting his offspring, and decking his car out would be out of the question as well." Robin nodded.
"I guess you could win someone over with money, but Dr. Mario would probably think we were insulting him." Marc agreed. "Redecorating his office doesn't seem like it'll help, he doesn't have any children to bodyguard, and he might have a Go-Kart, but I'm not as excelled in that area."
"You decked out the Blue Falcon to the point where Captain Falcon was grudgingly impressed." Robin rolled her eyes. "What exactly is so difficult about a Go-Kart?"
"Look, Robin," Marc narrowed his eyes, "I tried to deck out a Go-Kart once, and it exploded. I'm not attempting it again without further skill-honing."
"That seems fair." She nodded. "Well, I guess there's nothing else to do."
"Robin…Robin, no…" Marc pleaded. "That trick is getting old, and you know it! We're better than that! What about the sense of challenge?!"
"I see no other alternative." Robin shrugged. "If he wants a slow romancing, then this is our only ultimatum. And honestly, I know you're just as tired of this as I am."
"Where did your self-respect for being a tactician go?" Marc buried his face in his hands.
"Out the window along with our morals, free will, and decency…" Robin smiled. "But we'll get those back in due time."
.-.-.-.-.
"Congrats, you're all married now." Palutena chirped happily.
"…how do you two do that?" Dr. Mario asked. "I…I don't even remember changing into a tuxedo. Or standing here. Or saying any vows…"
"Insta-marriage!" Robin gave a thumbs-up to the camera. "All the power of a Final Smash! Might as well be one, honestly…"
"And we have more debt to worry about." Tears streamed down Marc's face as he said this.
Robin wrapped her arms around her male counterpart as they both sunk to their knees and quietly sobbed.
"You know, I always wanted to put my experience in psychology classes to use." Dr. Mario brightened. "Would you two like to talk about it? How does your spiraling debt make you feel?"
The strategists sobbed harder.
"I see…" Dr. Mario jotted this down. "Fascinating. And how does that make you feel?"
"Charizard." Charizard said to Greninja. It could've been, 'Hey, it's a doctor this time. That's actually respectable for once.' or 'Your love your love your love…is my drug!' …hm, the latter of that is likely interference from a local music player.
"Ninja." Greninja quipped. It could've been, 'Can you believe Naruto ended?! Man, what a ride…' or 'I'm still cursing them."
Bowser Jr.
"Papa told me not to talk to strangers." Bowser Jr. pointedly informed them.
"Smart dad." Robin nodded.
"Yeah." Bowser Jr. smiled. This was new. Most people called his father an idiot. Like Princess Peach usually would.
"WHOAWHOAWHOA!" and there his father was now. "Why are you two trying to romance my son?" He asked them seriously. He spoke again before they could answer. "I'm drawing a line here!"
"Ha!" Marc scoffed. "That's what they all said back in Ylisse!"
"And we still did it anyway." Robin grinned. Then she frowned. "Man, those were uncomfortable times…"
"Yeah, Tharja was pretty upset when I picked her daughter over her that one timeline…" Marc remembered. "And as much as I care about Lucina, I'm never marrying her again if Chrom's going to give me that 'I cannot believe you, so disappointed' look…."
"Cherche threatened to feed me to Minerva if I ever hurt her son…" Robin shook her head. "I was more afraid of Maribelle, though… Little Miss Hoity-Toity is actually pretty terrifying if she even thinks you made her precious thug son cry…"
"Okay, okay, so we all acknowledge that both of you are evil and apparently cradle robbers too." Bowser reasoned.
"Hey!" The Robins shouted indignantly. "Just because we were implied to have done 18 and older stuff in that game doesn't mean we've done any of that here!" Robin shook her fist.
"Just stay away from my son." Bowser warned.
"If you don't want me to talk to them, papa, then I'll stay far away from them." Bowser Jr. promised. A single tear fell down Bowser's cheek.
"That's my boy!" He declared.
'Tch.' The Robins mentally scoffed.
.-.-.-.-.
"Papa told me to stay far away from you two." Bowser Jr. said without turning around as the two tacticians continued to follow him.
"I bet your father also told you to be evil." Robin pointed out.
"And nothing says evil quite like defying authority, you know." Marc added.
"Hm." Bowser Jr. hummed. "I guess you're right."
"Now let's go shock your father!" Marc pumped his fist in the air. "Not literally, though."
"Maybe a little bit literally." Robin suggested quietly.
The Mario brothers and Peach nodded at that idea.
"Yeah!" Bowser Jr. was lost in the moment as he also pumped a…closed claw fist…in the air.
Bowser screamed "NOOOOOOO" throughout the entire wedding. And the Robins screamed "NOOOOOOO" as they somehow accumulated more debt after the wedding and had to go back to Smashville.
"Greninja." Greninja rolled her eyes. She was either saying, 'This translating dictionary should've come with a money back guarantee' or 'They just don't learn…' …wow, it actually legitimately could've been either of those! Amazing!
Ganondorf
"You've already enchanted me, if I'm honest." Ganondorf started. "I just want to know one thing…"
"Fire away, fellow evil royalty." Robin said.
"Are you really in control of Grima?" The Gerudo King asked.
"Yep." Robin answered immediately.
"Completely." Marc added.
"Be honest." Ganondorf insisted.
"…" Robin and Marc exchanged looks with each other. They then looked back at Ganondorf. Marc spoke in an even tone.
"I don't know what you're trying to accomplish, but if you wished to speak with Grima…" Marc and Robin's eyes glowed purple as the Mark lit up on their hands. Grima's Mark also showed on their facial features, a pair of eyes above their normal ones and a pair of eyes below their normal ones.
"…you didn't have to ask in such a roundabout way, Gerudo King." A deeper, darker voice came from Robin as she said this.
"Hmph." Ganondorf grinned. "My apologies, then. I just wonder why someone with your power would choose these two as vessels." He glanced at the ceiling. "Or why your vessels should have to be human in the first place."
"Heheheh…" a dark chuckle came from Marc, almost the same voice that Robin had earlier. "Humans are fascinating creatures. Twisted and desperate and willing to step on anything if they want something bad enough."
"And these two?" Robin practically cackled. Or well, it's actually Grima, isn't it? "Well the thing they want… They think a lot of crimes are worth committing for that."
"I see…" Ganondorf hummed. "I think you're far worse, Grima. Hiding behind your human vessels to justify these acts. As if it's all about what they want. As if you yourself didn't want this too?"
"Guilty as charged." Grima in Marc smirked.
"…I like that." Ganondorf nodded. "So, could you two quit DeDeDe's club and join mine again? We could really use all-powerful fellgod dragons with literally no shame."
"Listen, peasant." Grima in Robin hissed. "DeDeDe's organization is at least enjoyable because we deal with cute creatures on a daily basis. Marc loves the heck out of that."
"It is true." Grima in Marc admitted. "This vessel indeed loves the heck out of that."
"So what could your measly group even hope to offer us?" Grima in Robin asked.
"I…uh…" Ganondorf faltered. "I…could…help with the debt that you accumulated…?"
"Deal." The Grimas said in unison. "Go to Smashville, and talk with Tom Nook."
.-.-.-.-.
'Well, that was easy.' Ganondorf thought. 'I wonder why they have so much trouble with Animal Crossing anyway? It's full of these harmless creatures, what is there to fear?'
He walked into Tom Nook's exteriors shop and was about to punch his face in, but there was something odd about Tom Nook's expression.
"Oh, you are here to clear Marc and Robin's debt to me, yes?" Tom Nook nodded. Then his eyes glowed red.
"Where's my money?" asked the demonic voice that should not have belonged to Tom Nook.
Ganondorf screamed.
And in the town below Main Street, the Villagers sipped their coffee at Brewster's café. Ganondorf stepped into the wrong neighborhood…
Jigglypuff
"Please, sing your heart's content." Marc said to Jigglypuff.
"Why are you encouraging her?!" Robin threw her hands up in the air. "Marc, I know you like cute things, but this is ridiculous! We'll fall as…leep…Zzz…." Robin curled up on the floor and took a nap.
"Jiggly!" Jigglypuff…puffed out her…entire body, pretty much? She looked upset, so a translation isn't needed! She turned her attention back to Marc and cocked her body. "…puff?" Somehow, the male tactician was still awake even though the female strategist was on the floor.
"The power of cuteness keeps me awake." Marc informed her in a matter-of-fact tone. "I meant it when I said that you could sing to your heart's content, Jigglypuff."
"J-Jiggly!" Her heart beat faster…if she had one physically. She was technically kind of a balloon creature, after all.
"Oh, can you sing with Microphone Kirby too? That would be really-!" He was interrupted by Jigglypuff slapping him across the face.
"Puff!" She pouted. This could be translated to, 'How dare you, you ungrateful pleb! I don't do duos, I work alone as the best singer in the pokémon world. Meloetta? Bitch, you don't speak that name in my presence. I'm way better. WAY THE HECK BETTER.'
Or she could've just been saying 'puff.' Who knows?! Language has all these weird nuances and all…
"Okay…just…just sing to your heart's content." Marc held his cheek.
'So not that cute anymore…'
"Jigglypuff!" Jigglypuff chirped as she took out her microphone again.
One by one the smashers in the house succumbed to the melody of Jigglypuff's song, never to wake again. Doomed by this balloon's serenade, only Marc could withstand the crushing force of-!
"Zzz…" AND HE FELL ASLEEP! …so much for the power of cuteness.
"Jiggly!" Jigglypuff fumed. But before she could get any further, Marc unconsciously wrapped his arms around her at lightning speed.
"Cute…! So cute…! Zzz…" He said in his sleep as he unknowingly cuddled her.
"J-jiggly…" Jigglypuff weakly protested. It could be translated as, "U-UNHAND ME, YOU PLEB! You are not fit to even be in the same presence as me" or "I-it's not like I like you or anything! Idiot! Moron! Some other word that means stupid person" or "Dang, son, you say that to all the girls?"
…the dictionary must be burned. No one paid it to actually be completely accurate for more than a rare moment in a blue moon.
Jigglypuff blushed, but she allowed the action. The rest of the smashers wouldn't be awake for a while, and it was nice to have someone actually pay attention to her.
.-.-.-.-.
"Ha, finally!" Marc cackled. "Phase 1 has come to a close at last."
"And now we can proceed to Phase 2." Robin struck a pose not unlike a villain bent on world domination.
"They'll never know what hit them! AHAHAHAHA!" Their laughter echoed throughout the Smash Brothers' living quarters.
"Shouldn't we be worried or something?" Ness asked. "They're laughing maniacally again."
Lucario and Megaman gave the PSI user a meaningful look. Since Ness had a good connection with the mind and its workings, it was likely that they should listen to him and probably be concerned. Lucario also had a bad feeling deep in his aura about this.
"Nah." was their final answer.
-PLEASEDON'TACTUALLYDODRUGS
Hoshi: Ganondorf probably should've known better than to go back to the village he had the Robins ransack and generally destroy…
Hoshi: And can you believe we only have two more chapters to go till I write the rest of the bonus stuff afterwards?! Man…this story took more energy to write than I thought! No, seriously. I'm dying here.