This is to make up for not updating before.
The next thing I knew, Four was taking a seat next to me.
"I'm in this block." He told me. He smiled, and I almost smiled back. Almost.
I hadn't smiled in months.
"You look tired." He said, sounding concerned.
"I am tired." I confessed before I knew what I was saying.
You don't deserve him. He's never going to like you. You're just a mistake. No wonder all the guys draw away from you. You s***.
For the first time, I tried to push the voice away. It stayed firmly in place.
You're weak. The voice taunted. A moth could tip you over.
I hate moths.
In block three, Four had forgotten his book in his locker so we shared mine. I liked the feeling of his arm pressed against mine…
I pulled away. "Here, you can take the book." I told him.
I saw – or thought I saw – disappointment or hurtfulness in his eyes for a second, but he took the book. I looked down at my desk for the rest of the block.
In block four, Shauna and Uriah and Zeke all sat near me, but not to close. I didn't blame them. I'm a loser, no one wants to be near a loser.
Except Four.
No. He was just being nice, I reminded myself. I'm a loser, and stupid. Not to mention fat and slow and afraid of moths and ladybugs. Pathetic.
"What are you sighing about?" Four slid me a note.
I wrote "back none of your business." Then I erased and wrote "I didn't mean to make you upset or anything. It's personal. It's fine."
He read and seemed to immediately understand. Suddenly he blushed.
I turned around and saw Christiana mouthing something to him. She stopped when she saw me, but she was laughing silently at the expression on Four's face.
I didn't get mad though, just annoyed. I didn't like Four, and he didn't like me.
No one can like you, even the science geek is better than you.
After block four I walked slowly to my Lexus, knowing that the best guy in the world could never be mine.
Wait, did I print that…?...