Oh, and it rains in your bedroom

Everything is wrong

It rains when you're here and it rains when you're gone

'Cause I was there when you said forever and always

Taylor Swift

I looked into his eyes once more before it went dark. I desperately tried to find my way back but when I opened my eyes I saw only darkness. I looked around the room as my eyes adjusted to the new lighting; I slowly began to recognize the outline of my bedroom. I pushed myself up into a sitting position with my back against my head board. I took deep breaths, holding back the tears, but quickly losing my control.

The images were fresh in my mind, I could make out every line in his face, and yet I had seen in three months. But I wouldn't have to wait much longer, no, only a couple more hours. If I could survive the rest of the night I would be able to see him in the morning. Not that I will be able to talk to him, not that's practically forbidden, although in the following year I don't know what to expect. I would have to spend every day with him, just the two of us in a common room together. Oh one of the many perks of being made head girl.

He filled every dream I had, because I loved him, and he loved me. I could tell, I wasn't just in denial. When we had kissed, I could feel the love. Yet, he broke up with me with no reason as to why. The only thing I could piece together was that it had something to do with his family, right before he ended it he had gone to have an emergency meeting, and in his family that means something. When he came back, he was off, he kissed me as if it would be our last little did I know that it was.

He left me standing in the middle of the great hall, just standing there, denying the truth to hit me, thinking of anything but his last words. Then I went to my best friend in the world and find that she's not talking to me either.

On my bed side table sat the letter from Hogwarts explaining how I had been chosen as Head Girl at the bottom told me who my partner would be. This was the guy I would share a dorm with, patrol with every night and never be able to ignore. So, of course only my life would permit this to happen. You would think I had used up enough bad luck for three people, but the universe apparently decided it found a little extra to add to my monthly distribution.

I looked down at the name, not that I could actually see the words, but I have read the letter to have it memorized by heart. Once again, my heart was taking a toll thanks to Albus Potter.

Albus Potter was my best friend, my confidant, my hero, my savior, my family, my true love. In fourth year, he kissed me and that was when I claimed him as mine. Not so much on the romantic side, not that I can't still feel his lips on mine because I can, every second of every day. But because I felt safe in his arms, and that's all I needed, I just needed to know he was close by and I felt safe. Now, I'm forced to look over my shoulder every second, scared of what will attack me from behind, only turning my head forward to make sure nothing attacked me from the front.

Albus had saved me from my dad, who would beat me, when he was sure he had hit my mom to the limit. One day I sent an owl, trying to sound as normal as possible, and I'm sure to anybody else, it would have passed. But not two hours later Albus was on my front doorstep with his dad. I had never been more thankful in my life. Mr. Potter had immediately started to duel my father the moment he stepped in the hall. Al didn't care he just ran past and check behind every door before he found me curled up crying.

Albus held me for hours before we finally got up and went to his house where his mom cleaned up my busted lips and healed the few bruises she could, alleviating most of the pain from the rest. Then I went to bed, after skipping dinner, again Albus came up to me and held me. I feel asleep in his arms and he didn't once try to get up, just burying his head in my hair and he too fell asleep.

For once I felt safe.

Then the walls crumbled down and the real world crashed around me as I had to figure out life without him. I didn't become one of those helpless girls begging at his need for him to come back to me. No, I knew if I wanted him back I had to stay strong, because he would come back. I just wasn't going to have him come back to me because he felt he had to save me again. No I needed him to come back because he realized he really did love me. He needed to work, I wasn't going to just fall into him again, and I would stand strong.

The platform was just starting to get crowded when my Aunt dropped me off. Aunt Jamie had been treating me like a princess since I had moved in with her. When my mom died my Aunt lost contact with me other than the birthday and Christmas card. I guess she thought it was her fault what happened to me. I don't blame her, truly, but there's nothing I can say to her to get her to leave me alone, and at the moment she's my only friend. Yeah, it's sad, but when your best friend is Rose Weasley and she is forced to choose between her family and you, well let's just say I don't blame her for not choosing me.

My Aunt pulled into the closest parking spot to the station that I could find. It took me twenty minute walk from the parking lot to the Platform 9 ¾ was silent. I turned to my aunt before I boarded the train.

"Thank you," I told her, wrapping my arms around her in a tight hug.

"You have nothing to thank me for. You have lived through so much." She told me, hugging me back just as tightly.

I turned away from her before I started to cry. I made my way to the back of the train, past even where the Slytherians sat. On my way I looked into a compartment here and there, against my better judgment. Of course with my luck I looked up and found myself starring into the all too familiar, beautiful emerald green eyes of none other than Albus Potter. For a moment I could have sworn he smiled before his face was bathed in sadness, and possibly regret.

I looked at the ground and quickened my pace towards the empty compartment. I heard him call my name, but convinced myself that it was only my imagination. Needless to say when I finally did stop he was still where I had left him at the front of the train.

When I entered the empty compartment I took large deep breaths to calm my racing heart. It was like this every time. I calmed down and pulled out my school robes. I changed quickly and sat down with a book. Oh, how I longed that my life was a simple story. It would be nice to know that in the end everything gets better, but until Al is mine again nothing will ever be right.

Look I know how I must sound. I sound like a love sick sap. The truth, well that's just my life I guess. I'm lost, and I have been for the past two years. But I think the fog is finally clearing and I'm starting to see what I have to do. I need to help myself because in the end that's all I can do. This year, I'm coming out of my shell, I won't be the same person I once was, but I need him to see me the way he did when we were friends. Although it may seem that I'm doing this all for a boy, and you should never change yourself for one person, this is different. It may not seem like it, but in due time things will all make sense I promise.

Another chapter, another chance for you to review and tell me what you think.

Love always,

K