Chapter 13:In Vino Veritas…or not

The night had been unrelenting, just like his guilt. The minutes stretched into hours and hours past as slow as decades. His eyes would shut and he would drift almost into a sleep, then suddenly jolt awake from nothing but a breeze. The noises of the night had been a symphony in constant crescendo and his head pounded from the effort to block them out.

He was almost jealous of Maria. She had found it quite easy to sleep in the forest. Her eyes had shut mere minutes after they had arrived back at camp and hadn't opened all night. He knew this for a fact for he had passed the time watching her sleep through the flicker of the flames of their camp fire.

Out of desperation he had finally moved to the corner of her sleeping provisions that he had made for her. There had been just enough room for him to squeeze onto the pine needle bed, which he happily did hoping for at least an hour of sleep before the sun rose. At first he laid on his side facing away from her. More precious minutes passed and still no sleep. Then he tried his back, but now he was half on the bed and half off. That wasn't going to work. Finally, for absolute selfish reasons, he rolled onto his other side and faced her back. He released a long sigh asking for the Lords forgiveness, then spooned himself against her. Gathering her to him he inhaled her scent of strawberries and cream feeling his muscles relax enough to let sleep claim him, which it did at long last.

When he awoke the sun was a little higher than it should have been and his arms were empty. Dammit, he cursed at himself. He had meant to wake before her and remove himself. Now she knew. It was already going to be hard enough to face her after last night's kiss, now he had to face this too. Was this ever going to get any easier?

He checked is watch. All worries of facing her about his transgressions escaped from his mind when he noted the time, it was half past ten.

"Maria!" He exclaimed still staring at his watch, "you let me sleep until ten o'clock!"

She emerged from the riverbank, scurrying over to him with a wet head and freshly dressed in her dirty dirndl.

"Oh Captain, you're awake!" She tripped over a rock and stumbled a bit. He would have laughed at that, but he was too busy turning in circles while running his fingers through his hair trying to ascertain how long it was going to take them to break down camp and get moving on the road. Too long, he surmised. So he took his frustration out on her.

"How could you let me sleep so late? We still have ten miles of travel and then a train ride! Are you insane or just stupid?" Did he really just ask her that? If there was a feasible way to catch words in mid-air he would have right now.

She stopped dead in her tracks and pushed that little chin of hers up high in the air. With her eyes narrowed to pebbles she picked up the little bag that held their few belongings and threw it at his chest.

"Since I woke with you in my bed I figured you hadn't slept well all night. I was trying to allow you have a few hours of rest before the long day began!" Awkward wouldn't be able to do this situation justice.

"Oh…" he tried to put as much remorse as he could in that little word, but he didn't think it mattered at all. She still breathed fire in his direction. "I apologize. I…I –You're right, I didn't sleep well and I thank you for the few hours that I did get." He wanted to add 'with you in my arms', however he figured now was not the time. It was better to let that part slide for a bit…or forever. He would just add it to the list of things that he never wanted to discuss with her. What was the number up to now? He was beginning to lose track. Three, his conscience provided for him. Well thank you for being ever so helpful. Damn he hated his conscience.

The kiss he could deal with. They had both fully participated in that event and in reality they had done nothing wrong. He could definitely deal with the kiss. The sleeping in her bed, well that had already been partly explained. Only a little bit more embarrassment on his part and he could sweep that misdeed under the rug. But that last indiscretion, well it hung in the air over his head like a threatening storm cloud. If only an east wind would come and sweep it away, he'd be alright. He checked the sky—not a cloud in sight nor did the trees even quake from a breeze. Whoever came up with the saying 'two out of three isn't bad' was a moron in his humble opinion.

He could feel the burn of the acid in his stomach. If he didn't tell her soon he was positive there would be some permanent damage to his health. The worry was literally eating him alive. The problem was how? No matter what avenue he took in his mind there simply didn't seem a logical way to confess this sin without making her run away from him forever. Now that was something that he couldn't allow to happen. Not now—not ever.

With the bag in hand, he walked over to the tree where he had deposited his wet trousers from the day before. As he had suspected, the pants were still damp. The only other pants in the bag were that of the 'barrowed' suit that the Gypsies had given him the night of the wedding ceremonies. He wasn't sure how they had ended up in the bag for he was sure that he wasn't supposed to have kept them. Nor had he meant to for they weren't quite his style.

They were black with ornate designs down the side in white and gold thread. Certainly not conspicuous, however they were dry and far cleaner than the filthy trousers he had on now. Ducking behind some trees he quickly changed. They needed to get on the road and fast. When he emerged from the trees it was evident that the trousers had some sort of dried stain. It wasn't visible, however the roughness rubbed against is upper thigh. He stopped to exam it while complaining about it to Maria.

"There's something on these pants that is rubbing my skin." He absently pulled and tugged at the rough material.

Maria looked at him and the pants that he was wearing. A flash of memory crossed her face, "OH goodness, I forgot. I spilled red wine on those trousers the other night." She made a little face at her own clumsiness "and a little on the bed…"

He failed to listen to the rest of her confession. The words 'red wine' rang in his head. If she had spilled the wine on the bed the night of the ceremonies, that could account for the stain that had been on the bed. Like most wine aficionados, the Captain knew that dried red wine had a strong resemblance to blood- Especially on white sheets.

A rush of relief ran through him and it brought him to his knees. He looked up to the heavens thanking the Lord for his grace.

The words, "RED WINE" bellowed out of his lungs as Maria looked around frantically for any signs of help from this deranged man. Unfortunately for Maria the only other living things witness to his madness were the two mares. And they seemed to care less of what he was doing and more into grazing the grass.

He laughed like he had never laughed before. His tears were a mixture of relief and happiness. "Oh, thank the lord, it was red wine. Why didn't I think of that?" Jumping up from his knees he took a bewildered Maria's face in his hands and roughly kissed her cheek. Then he held her at arm's length to look into her eyes. "Maria! You're a lifesaver!" On a whim he picked her up and twirled her in a half circle barely placing her back on her feet before continuing a little dance of his own. "A life saver I tell you!"

Maria was more than a little bewildered by the Captains show and didn't know quite what to make of it. "No one has ever been quite so happy about my clumsiness before. I wish the nuns at Nonnberg would act this way every time I spill something."

The Captain was now drunk with relief. There was no restraint on his words as he let it all out.

"Oh Maria!" He grabbed at his hair then thrust his hands up high as if he were verbally throwing away the weight that had been heavy on his mind for days, "You don't understand! It was red wine! Red wine on the bed!" He did a little skip hop right in front of her. "Oh what a relief!" Meanwhile her mouth gaped open at the sight of him and she stared as if he had utterly lost his mind. Then her eyes moved around scanning the woods as if they were looking for an ambulance to burst through the forest and carry him away to the insane asylum.

"But…" She interrupted, but his jubilance silenced her.

"Don't you see?" She shook her head her eyes even wider now. "The stain on the bed the morning after the ceremonies—it was red wine. You see, I thought it was…well..you know…I thought it was..."

"But…" she tried to interject again.

"Well, I mean-what was I supposed to think? I was undressed and you were barely dressed and well…" He was turning in circles releasing his thoughts to the sky with a smile on his face. It was unbelievable how his luck had changed in a matter of minutes. He hadn't compromised her after all and he couldn't be more grateful. He just had to let it all out. "Then there was the stain on the bed, so I thought that you and I had…"

"But…" her final attempt was thwarted by his next words.
"Well I had thought that you and I had," he held up his hand like a gentleman and gave her a gitty bow, "please pardon me for my frankness here Maria, but I thought that we had been intimate. And that the stain on the bed was the evidence of that intimacy," he was laughing again in relief and wondering why she wasn't getting the joke for she was stone faced in the wake of his merriment. As she mouthed another "But," he placed his hands on her shoulders to drive his point home, "But nothing Maria! For you see, it was RED WINE and not your innocence spilled on that bed!" Removing his hands he looked again to the heavens and offered up his last words to God himself, "RED WINE!"

"But…" There she was again with the interjection. What in the world could be more important than this, he wondered? Whatever it was it couldn't compare or take away his relief. Oh good Lord, sweet relief! He wasn't a monster after all.

"But what Maria? What?"

He hadn't noticed before, but she was visibly shaking. Her eyes shone with tears and the shirt she held in her hands rippled like a flag on a windy day. "But I spilt the wine the morning I packed the bag at Mikesh's house. It was on your nightstand from the night before."

Her words were like the fist of God reaching down and punching him square in the chest. All the air rushed from his lungs and he fell once again to his knees. This time not in reverence but in despair-had he just confessed stealing her innocence while laughing in her face about the entire affair? Oh fate, how could you be so cruel?

His head was dizzy. For a fleeting moment he thought maybe he had misunderstood her. "Umm…what?" he mumbled under his breath along with an "I don't understand…what…" after that he wasn't making any sense even to himself. It was as if he were a two year old again and was learning to speak for the very first time. When he chanced a glance at Maria his heart fell to his stomach when he saw her eyes brimming with betrayal.

"Maria…" he began but was silenced when she held up her hand.

"You said that nothing happened…you said that…" Her mouth began to quiver before being able to continue, "you said that…"

The Captain took the bag that was lying at his feet and slammed it against the ground to stop her words. "I know what I said!" Now he kicked the bag hard and sent it flying through the air, "Don't tell me what I said!" He screamed over top of her. He knew his exact words and dammit, he never wanted to hear them again. Nor did he want to see the hurt his lies left in her eyes. Only a moment ago he was high on life, now mere seconds later he had never felt so low. God was punishing him, he had to be.

He got up from his knees to stand before her. She backed away from him and his heart sank further down. Each step she took backwards he followed forwards. He couldn't lose her, he told himself over and over again. Fix this now!

"Maria, please, you have to listen to me. I wanted to tell you, but I..I didn't know how."

"Didn't know how?" She questioned him, her every word dripped with an accusatory tone.

"I…I"

"And you didn't think I had the right to know?" She backed further away from him.

"Of course I did, I just…well I.."

She gasped and covered her mouth in horror, "Was that your plan the entire time? To get me drunk and take advantage of me."

"My plan? No of course not! What kind of man do you take me for?" She didn't even flinch. Her eyes stayed steady on him burning him with her anger. He had known when she had found out the truth that it would be an ugly scene, but he had never imagined it would be this bad. He fumbled for any excuse to help him out of the situation. "I am not positive myself what took place. You forget that I was drugged too. I don't remember anything!"

"But you made me drink the water. You knew what would happen. Didn't you?!" Her accusation stung him like a hornet. How could she think that way about him? Didn't she know that he would never do such a thing?

"But I didn't know that the old woman had laced it with her poison. Maria please you have to believe me."

She pulled at her hair, "And what was last night about then, Captain? Were you trying to seduce me again? Is that what that was all about?"

Fury flashed red fire in front of his eyes, "What did you just ask me?" He bellowed in her face. How dare she? He was the one that put a stop to it last night, and he let her know just that, "Excuse me Fraulein," he hissed her title like a snake, " But in case you have forgotten I'm the one that remained in control. I'm the one that ended it before it went too far."

She puffed air between her lips insinuating that what he had just said was absurd. And his mouth gaped open at her gall. He may have lied about what had happened the other night but he was willing to face up to his past mistakes…for the most part. She on the other hand was attempting to dismiss her involvement in last night's passion at all and he wasn't about to stand for that. Oh no, maybe she still dreamed of a life as a nun, but he knew that she didn't belong there. And after last night, he was fairly certain she did as well.

He stalked her like a lion after an antelope. With her long legs she gracefully pranced away from his approaching threat only to find herself stuck between the carriage and him. She realized her mistake too late and he boxed her in by placing his hands alongside of her face and crowding her against the carriages body.

"Are you trying to tell me Fraulein, that you don't remember running your hands through my hair while you kissed me in utter abandon?"

"No I…well you…" she looked everywhere but at his face. She was lying and doing a horrible job of it. She remembered all too well what took place last night and he could tell that it scared her to death.

"I what? Did I make you? Did I force you to moan my name as you ran your hands up my bare chest?"

She gritted her teeth and narrowed her eyes at him. "I didn't…you're a…I never would…"

"But you did. And you know what I think?" He paused a moment to give her a chance to answer. It didn't surprise him when she held her tongue however. "I think given the chance you'd do it all again."

"I would not!" He assumed she had meant the words to sound indignant, but they came out breathy and feeble.

He leaned towards her neck gently letting his lips graze down the gentle slope of it until he got to her pulse. "Oh come now Maria, don't lie to me." He stuck his tongue out feeling the throb of her pounding blood on its tip. "You're horrible at it."

She pushed at his torso, but he grabbed her hands and thrust her against the wood of the carriage.

"I'm not lying, Captain. I wouldn't…"

"That's what your words say Maria, but your body tells me otherwise."

"You're insane." She hissed squirming to get away from him, albeit halfheartedly.

"I'm insane? So is it my imagination that your pulse is throbbing?"

"That's because I'm upset…I'm …"

"Then why are you breathing so heavy…hmmm?"

"Because I'm angry that you lied to me."

"Right. You're angry." He kissed the hollow of her throat before meeting her eyes, "Then why are you giving me that look again?"

Her lips trembled with the effort to hold it all together, "What look?" That time she did manage to sound somewhat exasperated, but it still wasn't quite convincing.

"This look. The one that says, 'I'm yours for the taking Captain, kiss me, take me, make me yours'" he ran his nose along hers, slowly bringing his lips closer to her mouth. He silenced her denial by nipping the corner of her lips. "Do you want me to kiss you, Maria?" Teasingly he ran his lips over hers, back and forth with a gossamer touch.

"I…I…" He could tell she was losing her control. If pushed just a little farther her inner abbey walls would surely crumble.

"You see Maria, I know you. I know you better than you think." He ran his hand down her side then found her hip and pulled her into him. He gently bit her lip when a moan escaped the back of her throat when presented with his arousal. "I think you want me to kiss you right now. Just like you wanted me to kiss you last night. And even though I have no memory of the other night there are two things that I am most positive of. The first is that something did transpire between the two of us. I am now most certain of that. For it seems that we can't be within arm's reach of each other anymore without attempting to tear the others clothes off." She tried to deny his words yet again but he held a finger to her lips to silence her, "And the second thing that I am almost positive of is that although- yes you were a victim the same as I was- you were also a very willing participant once your inhibitions were let down. So when I say that you would do it all over again I don't need your words in order to know what your opinion is on the subject." He thread his fingers through her hair and tilted her head to his preferred angle, "I can read you like a book. But, alas, I am first and foremost a gentleman, so I will yet again ask for your permission and this time, please don't attempt to lie." He brought his mouth next to her ear and whispered, "Do you want me to kiss you, Maria?"

Gripping his upper arms she held on tight while moaning her answer to him, "I…Yes…God yes…"

He closed his eyes then brought her head down and surprised her with a chaste kiss on her forehead. "But I won't." She let out an outraged cry and fought to get out of his grasp. By rights she should be angry, but his intentions were good and he needed to make sure she understood them before he gave her back her freedom. So he held her still and kept his mouth resting on her forehead. "I won't Maria because if I do -this time I won't be able to stop. And I won't take advantage of you. I simply won't do that again." He removed one hand from her hair and grabbed her hand with it while he left the other in her hair and held her at arm's length so that he could look into her eyes.

"I know I lied to you and I shouldn't have. I can only beg for your forgiveness. But the one thing from that morning that I said that was the truth then and remains the truth now, Maria-is that I would never willingly hurt you. Ever. And I mean to stand by those words."

A/N

I apologize for being so long with this update. I hope you all enjoyed it. I procrastinated writing it for the longest time, but by the end I thoroughly enjoyed the chapter. (haha of course. I just can't seem to make them behave. I just don't know why.) Well anyway, hopefully you all won't have to wait too long for the next update. Oh and don't forget to review…I love to hear all of the input.