A/N: Thanks to PrincezzShell101 for your review! So, I am very proud personally with this chapter. And a rare thing happened while writing this as well – I didn't write a death. Usually, If I had planned a death, I would go with one, but this one… nope. Just no. Lukas is turning into a great character I feel he has more to give as the finale draws ever closer. That's not to say he won't kick the bucket the later, but he was planned to go out this chapter and he isn't anymore. Instead, we'll get a look into his rather miserable life and relationships thus far – read on, enjoy!

'Till next time!

Chapter 88
Monster

It took Lukas a good full minute before he could finally start speaking. Despite the weather it felt as if his mouth was dry.

"I… I told you about my anger problems. About the way my parents' death impacted me. But… my specific mental problems started far before that…" Lukas tapped his fingers together, eyes dark. "When I was a kid, both parents still alive, I was a loner. I wasn't bullied or anything like that, I just didn't particularly want to make friends. As far as I was concerned, I didn't need friends. I enjoyed being by myself. Well, until I… met Jimmy. He just came up to my room one day and said 'Hi, I'm Jimmy, and I'll be your friend!' I thought, sure, why not? Here's the kicker…" Lukas smiled grimly. "He wasn't real. I had my own little imaginary friend. Not a teddy or a toy but a full grown boy. I could see him in my mind, I could swear he was real! Brown, tufty hair… blue eyes… a bright, slightly lop-sided smile. My mother thought it was just your typical imaginary friend. My dad knew better. He confronted me one evening and said, 'Son, you know that Jimmy isn't real, correct?'

"I just stared at him… 'Of course he's real, dad. Look.' And I pointed at Jimmy but of course he couldn't see Jimmy. And then Jimmy whispered to me… 'our little secret' he said. Dad was concerned, but he wasn't about to tell any kind of authorities or counsellors that I saw Jimmy. He… wasn't exactly on good relations with them anyway. He tried to help me but he couldn't. I didn't want him to… I liked Jimmy…"

Lukas stopped for a moment, his eyes looking at the floor. "Then mum died… and the only reason why I didn't completely break down was because Jimmy was there for me. 'Don't cry, Lukas, don't cry. It's time for you to go into the world.' And as I grew, Jimmy grew. We were the best of friends… we were practically brothers. My dad was stressed but he never blew up. He wanted to help me, but his… work was screwing him over. So Jimmy and I went on the back burner. We talked, played games together, and all in all, he made me feel so much better about my mother's death.

"Then dad died… and that's when things went over the edge. I kept talking to Jimmy, telling him secrets, spilling my goddamn guts. And he told me, 'You need to do something to break out. Let out your anger a little while Lukas. Let out your anger.' So I did what he told me. I trusted him. He knew what was right, what was wrong. So I allowed myself to go into a state I couldn't control. I screamed, I cried, I fought, I hit, I bled… The counsellors tried to help me and I tried to let them see progress but it was hard… so hard… I had to convince myself Jimmy wasn't real, but he whispered in my ear, 'I'm real, Lukas, I'm real… don't let anyone think otherwise. Who helped you after your mother died? After your father? Me! I'm real.'

"So I lied to the counsellors. I said Jimmy wasn't real, and they were happy. But the imaginary friend was only one of the problems. My anger was next and even without Jimmy's whispers in my ear, I still had them. And that… that lasted a long time."

Lukas sighed, his words halting and awkward. It was the first time he had spilled this much information to anyone, even to his grandparents. "A year passed… then another… it's a blur, really. 'Slow progress, but understandable' the counsellors said. Then I was fifteen and I met her..."

Lukas trailed off, his eyes widening somewhat. He seemed to go blank, his hand twisting the ring.

"…Her…?" Dominika prompted quietly.

"Her." Lukas gulped. "H-Her name was… was Mary…" Lukas winced at the name, his hands squeezing close. "S-She was the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen. She was a year older than me, seventeen. Black hair… freckles… the most amazing blue eyes… she was so… so beautiful… I thought she was out of my league. And hell, she was a stranger. We only visited the same counsellor. Then the next day, in the waiting room, she introduced herself to me…"

"Hi, my name is Mary. What's yours?"

Lukas looked up, surprised that the pretty girl from the day before was talking to him. He looked at her for a moment before smiling hesitantly. "Lukas…" He said, stroking back his hair in a useless attempt to seem neater.

"That's a nice name." Mary sat down on the opposite seat, one strand of hair over her eye. "Although it doesn't sound American."

"It's Russian." Lukas said, feeling nervous under this girl's gaze. "My parents… they were…" Lukas winced, a hammer striking his heart. "…They're gone now…"

"Oh…" Mary looked at Lukas sympathetically. "…Is that why…" Mary motioned to the waiting room.

"Partly… I… it produced a-anger problems…" Lukas smiled sadly. "I-It's slow progress… but I'm getting better…"

"That's good… I feel like I'm making no progress at all." Mary chuckled sweetly before her head turned as her name was called. "That was me. Bye, Lukas. It was nice meeting you."

"I had no idea why she even wanted to talk to me, but she did. It continued like that for a few weeks. Snippets of conversation in the waiting rooms. I learned about her, what her favourite type of music was, what she was interested in… she liked drawing, writing, and generally liked expressing her imagination. She said it was a way to get out of real life and I could understand that. If I was creative I sure as hell would have gone into my own little world too. Then after about a month, she waited for me outside the building, after my own counselling session."

"Hey, Lukas."

Lukas jumped as a slim hand touched his elbow. He whirled around to see Mary standing outside, her hair ruffled slightly from the wind. "Oh, hi… you scared me…" Lukas chuckled.

"Sorry… but…" Mary twisted a lock of hair nervously. "I was thinking that… it's really… really nice having someone to talk to. I mean, private forums can only go so far. Would you like to… to come to my house and talk more… more about ourselves?"

Lukas blinked, surprised. Slowly, a smile grew on his face. "That would be… that would be great, Mary. I have to admit myself, it is nice not having to talk to these councillor guys."

"Every evening after that I would spend at her house. At eleven I left, sometimes later. We just talked but… we talked about everything there was to talk about. She talked about her issues. How she had lost her mother and was having a tough time handling her emotional problems. She was seriously depressed and had even once tried to take her own life. Bullied at school with a semi-abusive father who didn't care about her… it was hard for her to talk about it, but she admitted it was better to talk about it.

"So I talked to her about my problems. About my parents, about my anger problems… and eventually… slowly… I admitted that I saw Jimmy. That I had lied to the councillors about not seeing him. I thought she would end it then and there, but instead, she smiled at me."

"Why don't we solve our problems together?" Mary suggested, causing Lukas to look up at her in surprise. "I'll help you with 'Jimmy' and your anger problems, and you can help me with my emotions and depression. I think it's really brilliant that we have each other to talk to. It certainly makes me feel a whole lot better. It will do us both good."

"Y-You're not… worried…?" Lukas asked.

"Worried? About Jimmy? Of course not. Are you?"

"…I am… because I can't stop accepting… what he says." Lukas muttered. He jumped slightly as Mary embraced him tightly in a hug.

"Then we'll solve it. He isn't real, Lukas, and we can solve this. Together, okay?"

"Okay…"

Mary let go before glancing at the clock. "Okay, it's time for you to go, dad's coming home early tonight."

"Okay, it was nice talking…" Lukas stood up and headed straight for the door before Mary stopped him.

"Hey, Lukas…" Mary called out. Lukas turned around and his eyes widened as Mary leaned forward and put her lips on his, kissing him. Lukas couldn't help but return the favour before Mary pulled back, smiling. "…Dad's out for the weekend. Can you stay over?"

"And like that, we were together. Boyfriend and girlfriend. It was the happiest time of my life. And we got better. She stopped getting so depressed and I stopped believing in Jimmy. Together, we were better than any councillors. Then the counselling sessions ended. We had both fixed our problems. For the next year we were together solely as a couple, for comfort and simply because we loved each-other. We had literally saved each other from the edge of sanity. Then… Then that night came…"

Lukas stiffened up. He took a few breaths before continuing.

"We loved each other… I knew that… she knew that… and after that year passed, on Christmas day, I used the remainders of the money my parents left me to buy this…"

Lukas held up the ring again. "Mary and I didn't care for the expensive things. This was perfect. That day… that day I asked her… I asked her to marry me." Lukas smiled but the smile was quickly lost to a grimace. His eyes squeezed shut. "We went back to her home. Her dad was meant to be away for the weekend. But… but he came home… he came home and…"

Tears leaked from Lukas' eyes, meshing with the rain. He stood up, shaking. "…He made me watch…" Lukas whispered. "…He hit me in the face… and he made me watch… as… as…" Lukas shook his head before slamming his palm on a nearby tree. "I wasn't tied up. I wasn't constrained. I should have… stopped it! I should have fucking stopped it! But Jimmy resurfaced… he said 'no'… and I obeyed him because I had to, because I couldn't do otherwise! And I watched… not tied up… I watched as… as…" Lukas put his forehead onto the rough tree bark, tears streaming down his eyes. He whispered, almost too quiet for Dominika to hear. "…He raped her… he raped his own daughter… in front of my eyes…"

"Don't, no, don't do it, don't do it! Lukas! Stop, stop it please, it hurts, stop… it hurts, stop it… please…"

"I didn't do a fucking thing!" Lukas roared, spinning around, his eyes ablaze. "I watched! I fucking watched! She wanted me to help her! She begged me to help her! But I didn't do it! I just sat by as that mother-fucker had his way with Mary! Who I wanted as a wife! I watched him fucking… beat her as he did it… she was bleeding badly but he didn't stop! Practically all night and I DIDN'T LIFT A FUCKING FINGER!"

Lukas' chest heaved up and down, his face askew with anger, guilt and rage. He took a few moments to reposition his thoughts. "…I just… I just left… left her with… with him. I went to bed… and… I've never… ever gone back to Mary again… I've never even… tried to… because I'm so… so scared… I'm so…" Lukas buckled, falling to his knees, tears streaming down his eyes. He put his hands on his face, sobbing hard. "I-I should have… should have stopped it… she begged me… I should have s-stopped it! I didn't and… a-and now… n-now…" Lukas' words turned indecipherable and he allowed the rain and his tears to sweep him away into a land of misery and torment. It only stopped when a slim hand was put on his shoulder.

Lukas looked up to see Dominika. She pulled Lukas into a hug, her arms tight. "Don't. Don't blame yourself. You were… you are scared. I understand, okay? I understand. It isn't your fault. Okay, Lukas?"

"It is… I-It is… I left her… I left her and…"

"Ssh." Dominika placed her forehead on Lukas' own. "She has probably reported it to the authorities. Her dad will be rotting in a cell like he should. She is strong, because she had you, okay? Do not blame yourself."

"I…" Lukas straightened up, fighting his misery before finally he was standing straight, eyes red. "I… have to blame myself… I have to… because it is the… the only thing that has kept me sane… because if I don't blame myself… then I am guiltless… but I'm not… I let it happen…" Lukas squeezed Dominika close. "This whole situation… Death… the list… it's driven me to my breaking point, Dominika… I see… I see him… he's come back… I see Jimmy…"

"He isn't real, Lukas. You know that." Dominika said firmly, forcing Lukas to look at her. "He is not real."

"I-I know that but… but that doesn't stop it…" Lukas said.

Dominika opened her mouth when she was interrupted by a sharp, loud sound which caused both to cover their ears in pain. A bright, blue light flashed down and in an instant, the tree Lukas had leant against was slowly tipping over, its trunk cut in half by the lightning strike. Fire was already blooming up, but it was quickly quenched by the rain. The tree was tall, tall enough that it was falling straight towards both Dominika and Lukas.

Both froze, although time seemed to completely stop for Lukas. The tree hung in the air, the look of shock on Dominika's face still.

"Look at that…" A voice sneered. "You're about to die. Move outta the way, Lukas."

Lukas turned to seen a man smirking. Jimmy. Lukas would recognise him anywhere. "You… you're not real, go away!"

"How many times do I have to tell you? I am perfectly real. I am your guardian angel. Now step out of the way and leave that… whore to die. She deserves it."

"… and I obeyed him because I had to, because I couldn't do otherwise!"

"Go on… leave her…" Jimmy pressed. "Save yourself, Lukas."

Lukas' eyes narrowed and he glared at him. "You. Are. Not. Real. You do not make my choices. So get the hell out!"

And time seemed to go again. Lukas pushed forward, tackling into Dominika and knocking her out of the way of the tree. He rolled over just as the tree smashed onto the ground, mud splashing up and coating both of them. Lying on his back in the mud, Lukas panted. Above him, Jimmy stood over him.

"…You idiot…" Jimmy sneered.

"You're not real…" Lukas whispered. "You're not real…"

"…'Course I a-"

"YOU'RE NOT REAL!" Lukas roared, swiping his hand through the air. Jimmy disappeared and Lukas' head fell back into the mud. "You're not real…" He repeated again. Slowly, he turned his head to the side to see Dominika sitting up, rubbing her head. "Dominika… are you… are you okay?"

Dominika blinked before smiling. "I'm fine. I think… I think that was meant for both of us. Now we're both skipped for now…"

"That's good…" Lukas breathed out. Despite how hard it was to tell her about Mary, he felt an immense weight lifted off his chest. He closed his eyes once more before pushing himself to his feet. He offered a hand to Dominika, who grabbed it gratefully and lifted herself up. "How are your legs… your back?"

"Fine." Dominika nodded. "A little pain but nothing especially new."

Lukas nodded and a sudden thought struck him. What he had with Dominika… he had kissed her, made love to her… but what he had with her wasn't nearly as close as what he had with Mary. And he realized that he had done it solely to try and ignore Mary, ignore everything he hadn't done to save her.

"Dominika." Lukas said quietly. Dominika paused, looking back at Lukas. He took a breath before glancing at the silver ring. "…I care for you. I do. But…" Lukas closed his eyes. "…I just… I've been hiding away for so long… acting… not being who I am… deliberately ignoring her… ignoring what happened. After tonight I can't do that anymore. I got… I got to find her again, Dominika… I got to rectify my… my mistake… So what we… we have… it needs to…"

"I understand." Dominika stepped forward, placing her hands on Lukas' shoulder. He blinked.

"What?"

"I understand, Lukas. I was happy with the compassion and the feelings you showed, but I have to admit, I never felt you were serious. And now I know why. You care for her still and I think you should find her again." Dominika smiled.

Lukas stared at Dominika for a while before nodding. "But not after all this is done. I can't just get into her life only to… to disappear if the worst happens. We beat Death first. After that… I'll find her again. I'll fix everything. By myself, with my own decisions."