Chapter 11: Never the Same
The only sound in the moonlight lit woods was the sound of Colt's footsteps and the seemingly random breaking of twigs. Colt walked without purpose and without thought. He had to focus on one thing and nothing else. He had to keep control over the body he shared with Angel, and it was a hard enough task at the time. He was too weak to do anything else. The only thing he could afford was to ask the question, why? Usually that was Angel's question. He was ignorant and weak, he always needed to ask why things were happening. It was the weakest question he could ask and the only one he knew to ask. After all for the first time he truly didn't understand what was happening. Why was he so weak? When he returned after Angel beat Ethan's face in (Angel's most glorious moment in Colt's opinion) he was at full strength. He felt more powerful than ever before and he had total control. But now his strength wasn't present. There was only the sense of weakness. He felt tired and far away. As if there was still a part of him being controlled by Angel. It was like being on drugs. You were there but it wasn't really you in control. How could this have happened to him? He was more powerful than Angel was but now he was barely a presence. Colt felt weak for the first time. Even when he got a sword through his chest he felt more powerful than Angel. He knew it was a fluke and nothing more. But now he was truly weak. He hated it.
Walking on through the silent woods he tried to keep control and he was actually doing all right. He felt his existence settle, he was in control for now. That pleased him and set his mind at ease for a while. He walked with his old arrogance yet his face wasn't like it was before. A year ago when he was the demon haunting campers dreams he walked with a sadistic smile but now his expression was more desperate. Colt would describe it as Angel's regular expression (he only imagined Angel looking desperate and afraid) but Angel hadn't looked this horrified for a long time. He walked on enjoying his moments of freedom, he knew it wouldn't happen for a long time.
"Hello." A voice. Who could that be? He had noticed no one nor heard anything. He turned around lightning quick and saw a girl standing in front of him. She was about 14 years old if he guessed right. Angel was far better at that than Colt was. Colt didn't really care much about something like age. It was a meaningless number to him. "Can't sleep?" She asked him. She seemed kind, it disgusted Colt but he couldn't show it. He couldn't hurt her in any way or Angel would kick him out without resistance. He might be quiet now but as soon as Colt would draw a weapon he was sure Angel's conscience would kick in and push Colt out of control. He couldn't allow that, he had to stay in control which at this point meant faking kindness. Did anything sicken him more?
"I suppose." Colt answered. He had to talk to her as if he was Angel but he didn't care enough to fake too much so he answered with short answers and an indifferent look. He wanted her to leave as soon as possible and acting like a jackass would probably get her to leave. "What are you doing here? Isn't it way past bed time?" Colt sneered. He didn't have to act kind like Angel did. He couldn't kill her which saddened him enough trying to act kind would make him depressed.
"I suppose so but I can't sleep so I go out here." The girl said. "I'm Paxton Avery, you are?" Small talk...what was the point? Colt didn't see the point because he didn't see the point of being civil with another person. He thought it was useless while in truth he just didn't understand. Colt was a genius sadist but he had no idea how people interacted with each other in a normal way. He didn't understand how to show true happiness or sadness. Emotions were weird to him, even anger was something he only vaguely remembered from when him and Angel were still the same person. He saw every other life as inferior so he couldn't be angry with them. How could you be angry with an ant that was in your way? You crushed it and forgot about it instead of wasting your emotions on it. Of course Colt did feel hate for things but never true anger. He couldn't show such a strong emotion because he didn't care about anything. He cared so little about the world and himself that he couldn't feel anything. If he wasn't as evil as he was...there might have been people that felt bad for him. Is a life without emotions really life?
"Colt." He answered simply. He could have lied and said his name was Angel but when he regained his strength and killed her he wanted her to know it was him instead of Angel. He wanted some credit. He knew he would regain his strength soon and that he would be out killing again. Just because it stopped him now didn't mean it would stop him for long.
"Nice to meet you Colt." Paxton said with a smile. Angel would have liked her. And for some reason the want to kill her seemed to fade, if it was only slightly. Usually Colt didn't talk to anyone in a civil manor unless he was planning on killing the person. But now he wasn't so unless he could make her leave he would have to talk to her like a normal person would. "So are you claimed yet?" She asked. This was a normal question among campers that regular mortals would never understand. Colt could have lied but he didn't bother.
"I'm the son of Erebus." Colt said. Unlike most people he didn't ask whether she was claimed. He didn't care so why ask? Unlike me he didn't care about saying who's son he was. To him it made no difference but to me it did. Most people talked about the son of Erebus who defeated Phthonos and even though it wasn't as popular as some people made me believe I didn't want the attention. I told this kid who broke his arm once and I had to sign his bandages because he thought I was some kind of big shot hero. I was camp's celebrity and I hated it.
"I heard about you. I think I did anyway." She said. She didn't say anything more about it. "I'm still unclaimed. I wonder who my mom is but truth is I don't really care either way. My dad raised me and he is my only true parent. I want to meet my mom of course but she'll never be my real mom, not to me anyway. I'm more pumped about meeting any siblings I might have." In Colt's opinion she talked too much. Of course it was fortunate. It saved him from saying much fake things that were more kind than anything else he had ever said to anyone. "I wonder if they are much like me you know? Maybe I won't fit in at all or maybe I don't have any at all. Do you have siblings?" She asked. Colt wanted to say no but he figured that if she would meet Angel she would be less confused if she thought they were brothers. He wondered if Angel would play along with that. It was worth a shot.
"A twin." Colt said with a bit of spite. Of course it wasn't something that would hold up for long nor did he know why he would want to keep it up. He didn't care whether this girl knew that he had a split personality but yet he pretty much claimed that Angel was his brother rather than his alter ego. He didn't understand why he did this. He tried to convince himself that it would have some use in the future but he didn't see how it could. Maybe she could be some kind of bargaining chip or something like that. He would figure that out along the way.
"Sibling rivalry huh? Now we're getting somewhere." She said with a small smile. Colt wondered what that was supposed to mean. He didn't understand what she meant by: Now we're getting somewhere part. He understood that she would want to give the spite in his voice some kind of meaning but why were they getting somewhere? He didn't understand it.
"Call it what you wish." Colt said. It was true that he didn't care. She couldn't possibly understand what happened between him and Angel but of course she didn't know anything about it. She didn't know Colt had tried to kill Angel's friends nor did she know that Angel had tried to kill him. Of course they weren't even brothers and she didn't know that little fact which made it a lot harder to understand. What she knew didn't matter to him anyway. "Either way I have nothing to say about him." Colt said hoping she would not continue on the subject. He didn't want to spend his free moments talking about his 'brother'.
"Something really bad must have happened between you two. You should try to forgive each other. You have to work together after all." It was funny that she said they had to work together. Being two different masters of the same body it would be so much better to work together but neither of them would allow it. Colt didn't want Angel's weakness and emotional baggage and Angel was happy to be rid of the sadistic and murderous urges of Colt. If they would work as one and be Michael again they would be much stronger but they would have to abandon themselves which was something neither of them could do.
"A lot of stuff happened." Colt said without showing any emotion. If Paxton had some kind of sense in her mind she would stop talking about this but she seemed to pursue the subject which annoyed Colt. For a second he considered killing her after all, it would probably be worth it but he didn't. He couldn't explain that action either. He acted in a way he had never acted before. He acted like a regular (if not a silent one) person.
"There's nothing that can be fixed." Colt knew that wasn't true. He could cause many wounds even ambrosia or nectar could cure. Of course that was the sickest way of proving Paxton's statement was wrong. Colt didn't feel the need to prove her wrong. After all she would find out herself when she would draw her final breath. Then she would see there was no such thing as purity or fairness. Forgiveness and kindness were lies, when she lay on the floor bleeding out she would realize that. Colt just shrugged. He didn't care enough to answer. "You're not a very talkative person are you?" Paxton asked. Again Colt shrugged indifferently. "You know if you talk more you'll be liked more." Paxton said smiling as if that was all that was important. Being nice and being liked. She was so simple.
"I don't care about being liked." Colt said coldly. That certainly wasn't a lie. If there was anything I knew about Colt it was that he didn't care about being liked. He didn't care in general to be honest. Did he ever care about anything? I doubted that he did. The year before he tried to kill my friends and help Phthonos kill us all but did he really care about failing or succeeding? Did he have any purpose at all? It was something we both wondered about.
"Maybe you should." Paxton seemed naïve and pure of heart. Two things Colt couldn't stand. She seemed to think that being 'nice' could save the world while Colt figured that being nice was a weakness. In his eyes it was the thing that slowed me down and made him superior. I needed people, I needed friends. While all he needed were blood stained hands. "You should be nicer to people." She said simply. Colt started to wonder if this girl was taking the piss out of him or if she was plain stupid. Of course she didn't know him but why didn't she just leave? It was so annoying that he almost took out a knife and killed her simply for being a pest. But he didn't...
"Maybe I'm not a very nice person." He replied leaving her with a saddened face. She was optimistic but she had to admit a lost cause, or at least Colt figured she would. But when a smile reappeared on her face he realized he was wrong. This girl just wouldn't give up. Colt wondered if she had some kind of OCD when it came to getting people to like her and be nice to everyone.
"I think you could be. Everyone can be nice if they want to be. It's sad that so many people choose not to be." I would have been able to see wisdom in those words. Maybe I would use different words to say the same thing but she certainly had the right idea. She for one did realize that kindness was something the world missed. In the mortal world true kindness was hard to find. Sure many mortals would give half a dollar to a hobo on the block but is that true kindness? Maybe, I didn't know for sure. After all after you give that money to a stranger you feel as if you're the most generous person alive yet you've barely helped him. Would you help him off the streets? To a job? Of the booze he uses to get himself to sleep? Not many would. There were people that did that, but that was a minority. True kindness was something small. Of course I couldn't say much about it. Having ideals but not doing anything with them would be extremely hypocritical.
"What's the point of being nice? In the end it will have made no difference. The kind might be so called 'good' people but the ones that were never nice are the ones that are remembered." Colt said confidently. I couldn't deny the truth in what he said. After all the mass murderers and self serving dictators were remembered while the people who set up homeless shelters and helped those in need were forgotten. Of course there was a different side to it. A side Paxton saw like non other.
"Maybe they're written in the history books but if you can change someone's life isn't that worth more? Thousands can remember you for the horrible things you did or one man can remember you for helping him out of the gutter. I'd rather be nice, and have those that matter remember me for that." Colt huffed. He thought it was idiotic. It made no sense to him. Most people would understand what she meant, maybe not agree but understand at least. Colt on the other hand didn't get how a sane person could think like that.
"That's your loss then." Colt sneered. He figured that would make her leave but she stayed still ready to convince him that kindness was a good thing. Everyone who knew Colt would tell her it was a lost cause and that she should be happy she was still alive. Paxton wasn't giving up though, and she had no idea there was any danger of being killed. She didn't think anyone was capable of killing someone, especially without any reason at all. Like Colt didn't understand how she could believe kindness was such a good thing she couldn't believe that someone could take someone else's life.
"Well if you're so obsessed with being remembered why are you here in the woods on your own instead of doing something memorable?" Paxton asked. Colt knew the answer but what was he going to say to her? He didn't care what she thought about him but he didn't want her to think she was weak. He didn't want anyone to think that. Yet for the first time in his short existence he said something that was from the heart. He was being open to this girl for a reason even he didn't understand.
"I don't know that either. I'm not like I used to be any more. I'm confused about what I'm supposed to do." Colt said. It was the sort of thing I would say but not Colt. It was the sort of thing I figured he would never say. It was something from the heart I thought he had abandoned. It was something this girl brought out in him and that neither of us understand.
"Maybe you should forget about who you used to be and be someone else instead. Be someone...better." She said it as if it was a simple thing. No person could simply change who he or she was. Call it what you wish, nature or nurture but you shape yourself as a person and no matter how much you try you'll never get away from who you really are. I found that out the hard way. Paxton believed in these sort of things though. She was very idealistic even though that was weird given her considerable history.
"Who should I become? I exist for one purpose and now I'm supposed to stray away from that?" Colt asked. He was confused. He wasn't as ruthless and evil as he used to be. Else Paxton would have either been dead or dying by now. But the only reason he existed was because Michael had a darkness he couldn't deal with. So now there were Angel and Colt, yin and yang. What if he lost that? The sadistic evil created in the young orphan couldn't just disappear. Would it bounce over to Angel? Would it be gone? Colt didn't know the answer. Of course he wasn't planning on abandoning his old self. It would be a waste. He just wondered what would happen if he did abandon his single purpose.
"No one exist for a single purpose. I know we only just met but I think you're more than what you think you are." Colt mocked her with a laugh. What she said was ridiculous. Colt wondered what she would have said if she knew about all the things he had done. She wouldn't be saying stuff like that if she knew that he was a murderer. A sadistic executioner who let his victims bleed out. She probably didn't expect that from him. It would be entertaining to see the look on her face when she found out. He knew it would be priceless.
"You have no idea who you're talking to do you?" Colt laughed. I've ended lives, I tried to help a god destroy this sad excuse of a sanctuary and tried to kill all of Angel's little friends on multiple occasions." Colt said with a sadistic smile on his face. Instead of the oh so priceless reaction Colt had hoped for all he saw was a cold expression. He thought it sucked, he hoped she would start crying or something like that but she just turned ice cold.
"That was then, this is now. You just said you didn't know if you still wanted to be like that so you can change. If you want to you can be more like someone else." Colt hoped she would at least give up after she heard that but she didn't. What was wrong with her? Colt was out of ways to get her to leave him alone.
"Lies, all of it. I'm perfectly happy being who I am, it's a lot of fun you should try it sometime." Paxton didn't show a single sign of fear or distress. She just stood there. She spread here arms wide leaving her wide open. Colt had no explanation as to why she did that.
"Then kill me. If you want to be evil so badly then kill me." She said. Colt hesitated. Did she have some kind of plan? Surely she wouldn't just leave herself open for a fatal attack? No one was that stupid. Yet there she stood with her arms opened wide. He wondered what he had to do. Should he just kill her? Would she even care if she did? What she did confused him. How could she possibly think it was a smart idea? Colt just stood there without moving. Then she lowered her arms again thinking Colt wasn't going to do it. "See, you don't have to be bad." In the next second Colt lunged forward, pulled out a knife and put it against her throat. Now she was scared. A tear ran over her cheek and her life flashed in front of her eyes. He could kill her. All he had to do was move the razor sharp blade across her throat. It would be a quick and simple kill but that didn't matter. She just had to die. That was the only thing that was important.
Colt was close to slitting her throat as he thought he should. She had to die right now. She was annoying and naïve and didn't deserve life. Yet he hesitated. To him she was insignificant like any other demigod or mortal yet he couldn't kill her. There had to be something wrong with him. There was no other explanation for it. What Colt saw in the corner of his eyes and how he reacted disturbed him even more. A Dracanae holding bow and arrow aimed for Paxton and released making the arrow shoot forward at incredible speed. Colt pulled away the knife and jumped forward bringing Paxton and himself down to the ground. Did he just save a life? That was the question he asked himself as he felt the arrow go over his back. It had missed him by an inch. Why did he help her like that? If he had just left her he wouldn't have had to kill her. Instead of causing her death or letting it happen he prevented it. It was horrible. How could he possibly do such a thing? Colt was even more confused now. A second ago he was ready to kill her now he saved her life.
"Get out of here." He helped her up and watched her run. He convinced himself that it was me who said that. But it wasn't, he couldn't deny that. He stood reading to buy her time at the cost of his own life if he had to. He stood was drawn and he stood against a pretty large group of Dracanae. It wasn't as big as the groups that attacked on a regular basis but for one guy it was a lot of Dracanae. Colt wasted no time and figured offence was the best defence. He sprinted towards the Dracanae who nearly killed Paxton and decapitated it in one clean blow. He used short distance shadow travel to get to a Dracanae further away. Without mercy he stabbed the thing in the back making it disintegrate. Moving on to the next monster he killed it but cutting its throat with the tip of the blade. He was far quicker and way more ruthless than I was. I got the job done but he went on a mad killing spree. Of course that was kind of his thing. He killed three more before he started to feel tired. The use of shadow travel and the constant running around had taken its toll and he had only gotten through half the Dracanae. He figured Paxton was safe from them by now. She should have gotten past the border at least. He would never find the answer of why he helped her as he wasn't making it through this fight. He couldn't handle more of these things on his own. He had to get out of here or hope for some back up. He expected neither of those things to happen. So he charged another Dracanae figuring he'd take as many monsters down with him.
"Angel!" A guy's voice yelled out. Colt recognized it easily, Luke. The son of Hephaestus ran towards him carrying a sword and shield. He looked more blood thirsty than usual. And to Colt he seemed more muscular than usual. His arms couldn't get much more muscular but his entire body seemed to have buffed up. Had he been working out? But how could it have grown so much over night? Colt didn't like it but he excepted the help for now. Luke killed the Dracanae in front of Colt without breaking a sweat and threw Colt a flask of nectar. Colt opened it and drank. Feeling his energy return to him he saw more Dracanae near him and Luke. At least a dozen of them were ready to kill them. These things seemed to grow in number each day. Colt was looking over the approaching Dracanae trying to figure out a way of killing them without doing so one by one. As he looked he spotted something more interesting though. Luke was wearing his hand crafted armour which was practical and fancy looking. But all Colt saw was the weak spot in the side of the armour. If he wanted to kill Luke, now was his chance. Luke stood in front of him and was under the impression that it was Angel standing with him. How wrong he was.
Colt lunged forward trying to stab towards the weak point in Luke's armour. Just before the impact the thick bronze shield Luke was carrying covered the armour's flaw. Luke pushed him back and stood ready to fight him. "Colt!" He said with spite. He looked Colt straight in the eye and saw his lips curl into the smile he hated so much. "What a waste of Nectar." He said trying to insult Colt even though everyone knew that insulting Colt was pretty tough as he had no feelings to hurt. Or at least we believed he didn't. Luke kept an eye on the still approaching Dracanae. They didn't have a lot of time to fight each other as the first few Dracanae would be attacking them soon. Still, that wasn't going to stop Luke and Colt from trying to kill each other. Luke had met Colt enough times to know how dangerous he was and I knew that if he got the chance he would end our life if Colt went too far.
"Nice armour Luke. I can't believe you made that with both hands so scarred." Colt was referring to an incident last year. Colt pierced Luke's right hand with a screwdriver. There was still a small scar visible from that wound. Of course Luke's other hand was pure bronze with a few built in gadgets. Colt knew that the hand could be used to Luke's advantage but as the bronze fingers were tightly crossed around the shields leather straps he didn't worry about that. He charged Luke and brought the sword down with all the strength he had. Luke blocked the attack with his shield and even though Colt used everything he had Luke didn't seem bothered. He pushed Shadow-edge away with his shield and tried to stab Colt in the stomach. Colt stepped back and with a fluent movement he spun around trying to cut Luke's face open. Again his attack was blocked by Luke's shield but this time he didn't stopped. He kept attacking every way he could but the shield was always there to protect him. Given with how much power the bronze of the shield and the sword connected you'd think the shield would dent or the sword would break but neither of those things happened. No matter what they did to it their weapons stayed perfect.
That's when it was time to start fighting something other than each other. The Dracanae had closed in on them and the both of them turned around to face the monsters. They didn't work together but they couldn't try and kill each other while other things were trying to kill the both of them. Colt intercepted the first Dracanae trying to kill them and stabbed it in the side. The second on carried two swords and with a simple disarming technique it was easily disposed off. Colt didn't hesitate for a second and went back to attacking Luke. While Luke still finished off a Dracanae with his sword he blocked Colt's attack with his shield. His senses and reflexes seemed better than ever. He had also gotten a lot stronger which was logical given how much he buffed up. What happened to him? Colt didn't have time to ask. Luke pushed forwards with all his strength and pinned Colt between a tree and his shield. There was little Colt could do. He couldn't touch the sides of the shields as they were razor sharp and the tip of Luke's sword was pointing at his throat. He needed to get out of here. That's when a Dracanae saved his skin. It attacked Luke from behind making his sword leave and the grip of his shield loosened. Using the tree as support Colt pushed Luke away far enough in order to escape and get behind the tree. As the Dracanae disintegrated Luke brought his sword back cutting the thick tree trunk apart in one cut. Colt was amazed at Luke's strength. He was sure Luke couldn't have done that before. As the tree started falling Colt grabbed his chance. Using the still falling tree trunk he jumped up into the air bringing holding the sword behind his back. As he brought it down it changed from the simple blade to a thicker and less sharp weapon with much more brute force than Shadow-edge's normal form. Using gravity and all his strength he brought the weapon down on Luke's shield hoping to damage it. Luke slid back through the dirt remaining on his feet and Colt landed without a problem but neither Shadow-edge or Luke's shield had been damaged.
"Oh come on!" Colt yelled out as he charged Luke again. Before they reached each other they were interrupted by more Dracanae. Compared to the almost perfect equals they were the Dracanae were just bothersome. Colt dodged the Dracanae's spear tip and as the weapon passed him he grabbed it and turned it around on the monster killing it with its own weapon. Luke on the other hand simply blocked the attack with his shield and cut the Dracanae in half with Tyche. A rather stupid Dracanae tried to get in between them and got impaled with both Shadow-edge and Tyche. Before it was fully disinteg*rated Luke and Colt both struck at each other again. Neither of them could land a single blow without it being dodged or blocked. More Dracanae appeared and were disposed of. Luke and Colt were growing tired as they were both killing Dracanae and trying to kill each other. It takes up the stamina all right. Killing more and more Dracanae, filling the ground around them with ashes their blades kept on clashing. Colt got attacked by another Dracanae using her sharp claws and tail as favoured weapon. Its claw came towards him at mad speed and Colt was just fast enough to grab the things wrist and break it before the claws cut open his face. With a broken hand the monster was pretty useless and Colt killed it without a sweat. Behind him Luke was heaving a little more trouble with the huge Dracanae he was fighting. Holding two pretty large swords it was attacking Luke and testing its shield more than Colt had in their entire fight. Colt had no time to focus on Luke though. Two more Dracanae attacked him with a pincer manoeuvre and while he killed one with ease he was just too slow to dodge the second one. The tip of the spear pierced the back of his leg just before he cut the wooden grip of the spear. He collapsed to his knee finishing off the Dracanae by stabbing his sword backwards.
"Disgraceful." He said to himself as he pulled out the tip of the spear. The wound was bleeding heavily and it hurt pretty badly but he had to get back to his feet. "I survive against Luke and get hit by a simple Dracanae." He hated himself for it as he turned around to face Luke. Luke had also taken care of the last Dracanae he was fighting. They had taken care of all the Dracanae threatening the hill and they were still standing. Luke wasn't facing Colt yet and Colt used this time to try and mask the fact that he was wounded. The wound was in the back of his leg so Luke didn't have to notice immediately. Of course if Luke was fine he would take down Colt easily now that he was incapable of dodging properly. The fight was over for him. When Luke turned around, Colt was proven wrong. Luke was holding his shield over his right arm protecting it and on the front of his arm you could see blood. His sword arm had been cut up pretty badly. Neither of them were capable of continuing this fight so there was only one thing they could do. "Call this a draw?" Colt said through his panting. Both were wounded and tired. They were done fighting each other for now.
"We'll finish this later." Luke said with a determined look on his face. Colt put up his grin and nodded. "Bring back Angel then." Luke said to Colt and he did what was asked. He gave up control without any struggle.