Chapter 13: Fear
Max and I appeared outside of an old farm. I had no idea where we were or why, Max just said that it was the place where we needed to be and I brought us there. I didn't know why it was so important to him but he wouldn't have pulled me out there if it wasn't. I knew Max well enough to know that he wouldn't bring me out here if it wasn't of high importance and if it was important to him it was important to me.
The place where we appeared was obviously abandoned. If I was right there hadn't been a soul there for years. The grass was long and wild and the house had an empty feeling. If you ever saw one of those old western movies then you can imagine the feeling. All the buildings were made of old (some places rotten) wood and other than our breathing the only sound was the soft whispering of the wind. I wondered what we were doing here. What could be so important at this place? Max started to make his way towards the old house. Other than the house there was a giant barn and a small shed all made of the same kind of wood. I followed Max without asking questions. I knew I had to just trust him. The door to the house was so rotten that the lock couldn't keep it closed. Max opened the door and entered the hall way of the house. It wasn't empty inside, there was still furniture left from whoever lived here. I started to wonder why this place was never broken down. Obviously this place didn't need more houses else they would have.
"So what are we here for Max?" I asked him. I needed to know if I had to be any help. Max didn't answer. He didn't even seem to hear. He just walked into the living room as if I wasn't even there. He acted weird, what was it he wanted from this place? "Max, you all right?" I asked. Again no response. The living room was bare but not empty. There was a couch, two cupboards and a TV. Max walked over to one of the cupboards and started looking through the drawers. He was looking something but what? I wanted to help but unlike him I had no idea what to look for. Max closed the top drawer, crouched down and opened the doors of the cupboard. He started looking through frantically like with the drawer. He threw out a white binder and continued searching.
"Look through that will you?" He asked, or commanded, whichever. I figured I would just do as he asked. I had no idea what he wanted me to look for or what was supposed to be in the binder but I picked it up and opened it. In the mean time Max had violently shut the cupboard and went towards the one next to it. I started looking through the binder. The first few pages weren't very interesting. Mostly administrative stuff that I didn't understand nor had any right to look through even though I doubted the people who it belonged to were still around. But when I looked further it got slightly more interesting and more personal. I saw a few family pictures. A woman and a man holding a child. I wondered if the child was theirs or not mostly because they looked so alike. If the child wasn't there I would have immediately said they were brother and sister. As Max looked up from the drawer he was looking through he saw me and walked over. He grabbed the binder from my hands and looked at the picture. "Could it be?" I had no idea what he was on about.
"What are you talking about Maximus? Who are those people and why are we here?" I had faith in him but I needed answers. He couldn't expect me to help out without knowing what we were doing. He looked at the picture with wide eyes. This was what he was looking for, at least one of the things. He started going through the binder and found a piece of paper which he tore out. It was a birth certificate. That's what it looked like to me anyway. The name listed on the certificate was Maximus Matthew Meridius. Could this be his birth certificate? Was this the place where he was raised until Phthonos came into his life?
"This is it, it just has to be." As soon as Max said that shit started going bad. The windows of the house got covered by thick grey mist. For a second I wondered if it was my dad but then it would be completely black darkness not grey mist. But that left the question of what this was. Max didn't seem as surprised as I was. Was he expecting this or something? Did he know this was a trap of some sort? I didn't ask, doubted I'd get a straight answer anyway. So I waited for the entire house to be surrounded by this mist. Of course my hand slipped into my pocket taking out the Zippo lighter that was my weapon. Of course something happened that I never expected. From the mist something appeared, it was Maximus but he looked different. He had a indifferent expression and a sword in hand. Also this version of Maximus didn't have the burden he had. His arm was completely chain free. I had my doubts about what this was supposed to be but I suspected it was Max if he was still Phthonos' slave. A fear he had inside his heart that very few knew about. Maximus drew his sword and let the chain run from his sleeve ready to use it. "This is my fight Angel, my fear."
As he asked I stayed out of it. I was happy enough that I could recognize which was which. Thanks to the chain I knew which Maximus to back. They were a perfect match as could be expected. Max was less brutal than his opponent and the chain made it possible to keep the evil clone at a distance. Max didn't use that advantage though. He went toe to toe with his other half. It was a thing that could have been if we hadn't defeated Phthonos. This would have been Max's future if he hadn't rebelled against Phthonos. It was very real and could have been very possible. But I knew the Maximus I knew would win, simply because that was the way it was. The other Maximus was a possibility but he wasn't reality. The Maximus I knew was what is not what could have been. So I wasn't surprised when Maximus defeated his opponent by putting a sword through his guts. The clone returned to the mist and we were left as if nothing had happened. "Let's go." Max said as he recovered the binder.
We walked back to the hallway, Maximus seemed to have a plan while I had no idea how to get out of here. In my opinion we were trapped in every context of the word. Max seemed determined though, as if he knew where to go and what to do. Maybe that was just his regular self. Max never seemed afraid or held back. There was always a determination in his eyes. Even when there seemed to be no real goal he seemed determined to achieve something. So it was no different now. He walked up the stairs looking through the binder. Again the question why we were here popped in my head. I followed Max simply because he seemed to know what he was doing while I had no clue whatsoever. I figured I could shadow travel but Max still wanted something here so that wasn't an option unless I wanted to leave alone. Reaching the hallway upstairs I saw three doors. I figured two bedrooms and a bathroom. I looked to the side of the wall and saw a spider. Truth is, I don't like spiders. It was a small one which didn't bother me but still felt the need to squash it. I tried to deny that spiders scared the shit out of me but they creep me out. Of course one spider didn't get that fear out in me. So more spiders had to appear, and not just from one place. They came from everywhere. They weren't that big, if you circle your thumb and index finger that was their size including their legs but so many crawling around everywhere was freaking me out. I don't freak easily but this was kinda creepy.
"We need to get away from him." Maximus said. He was still as cool as ice, the guy didn't show fear whether he was fighting his evil self or had to get away from a gazillion spiders. We ran down the stairs seeing spiders climb up from every crack big enough. They crawled above us and on the walls beside us. As we walked the floor behind us became blighted with these things.
"No shit Sherlock!" I ran down the stairs as fast as I could with Max only one step behind me. Of course what were we going to do once we were downstairs? We couldn't go outside, not with the mist there. So where could we go? Back to the living room or into the kitchen, how long would that last? We had to get out of there. I saw a door which I figured was either the toilet or sweet salvation. I opened it and all I saw was a storage, not very helpful. Unlike me Max was smart enough to actually check if there was anything underneath the carpet that was there. All I could see now was the nearing spiders. They were coming from the stairs, the living room and the kitchen nearing us slowly. Max started to get the hatch towards the basement open while the spiders came closer. Something had to be done else they would get to us. I didn't know if they would actually kill us or not but I generally didn't like the idea of so many spiders near me. From one of the shelves I got a can of deodorant and from my pocket I got my Zippo lighter and thanked my dad for making it multifunctional. Using the old hand carried flame-thrower trick I burned every spider that tried to get near us. The smell was horrible and the spiders started to come from everywhere. Some would get near me soon enough. For now I just tried to burn as many of these things as possible. Sadly there was an unlimited supply.
"Basement!" Max yelled. Still keeping the flame-thrower going I walked back and made my way down the stairs. I didn't stop spraying fire until the hatch closed and I put the dead bolt on. The spiders could have gotten through if they wanted to but they didn't seem to bother. We were safe from the eight legged freaks but neither of us knew what awaited us in the basement. I walked down the stairs holding my lighter up for some light. The basement seemed more like a ruin than a modern basement. Other than the wooden stairs there was nothing but cold stone with some moss in between the cracks. It was cold down there and there was no light bulb or anything. All I could see was a small hallway that went straight as far as I could see. And given I could see in the dark that was pretty far.
"That's the only way." I said. I wasn't really worried in the dark, I guess I felt safer there. I walked into the passage normally now that I still could. I figured that it would tighten a bit but that didn't bother me too much. Max on the other hand seemed to be. "Come on mate, we gotta get moving before the freaks get down here." I said with a shiver running over my spine. I was sure of it, I hated spiders.
"Can't we just rest for a second? I don't think your creepy crawlies are going to get down here any time soon." I wondered why he said your as if they were my pets or something. I hated the things. I shrugged and sat down. I realized I couldn't even sit in the passage with my legs pulled in. It was too tight. So I went back a bit and sat down on the stairs. Max was leaning against the stone of the basement. Neither of us were really tired yet Maximus wanted to rest. For once in the time that I could remember he didn't seem so determined.
"The spiders, that was my fear wasn't it?" I asked Max. He nodded. His clone was also his fear so if this was about fear logically this would be his. "So what's this fear? Stone and cold?" I didn't see it. But if it was Maximus' fear I figured he would.
"Claustrophobia." He said. "I can't stand tight spaces and I can assure you this passage is going to get much tighter." He was probably right, if that was his fear. Truth was I wasn't going to like this very much but I could stand it much like Maximus could stand the spiders. I understood why he wanted a moment of peace before doing this though, it wasn't going to be easy.
"So why are we here Max? What was the point?" I asked him. "And what is happening?" He had answers obviously but I had no idea what it was. I knew it was personal though. It showed our personal fears and knew them well. I tried to figure who or what was powerful enough to do this. I know my dad had done it once before but that was different. That was in the darkness and wasn't as real. I wondered if this was real or if the mist that was all around the farm had formed some kind of illusion.
"What is going on around us, I have no clue. I figured this wasn't going to be easy, something has been getting in my way ever since I started looking into this but never like this." He said. He seemed worried about it. He obviously didn't understand why anyone would want to stop him. "Before you ask, I've been looking into my past. You know Phthonos erased huge parts of my memory and I want to get it back. This might be the place I grew up in, if I'm really the person I think I am. This binder should hold the answers." He said. I wonder what he meant. 'If I'm really the person I think I am.' what did that mean? "Let's get this over with then." He said as he got up. I went first, figured that was better.
"You ready?" I asked him. He had to face his fear and he didn't like it. Who did? Of course it was the best way to fix fear but facing it directly was never easy. I knew he could do it though. He was tough and I was actually surprised to find that he was afraid of anything. I was sure that if anyone could overcome their fears it would be Maximus. When he nodded, I moved into the passage holding up the lighter so that Maximus could see.
It started out all right. I could still walk normally and could actually put my hands in my sides and have my elbows against the wall. It wasn't long before that wasn't possible any more. Slowly but surely it got tighter. Soon I had to walk with my arms against my body until I couldn't walk straight any more. It was suffocating and I started to understand claustrophobia. I looked back to see Max trying to keep it together. He was starting to panic when he had the walk with his back to the wall. Of course it got worse. I felt the walls coming even closer together. I felt the wall starting to push against my body. I felt as if the stone itself was choking the life out of me.
"I have to go back, I have to. I can't keep going." I heard Max so. I knew why he felt that way. I felt it getting to tight for me to get through but I knew we had to keep going. I had the feeling it was killing me, and I wasn't the one with claustrophobia. Max must have felt horrible. I couldn't help him though, all I could do was get him to keep going.
"Come on Max. We've passed the point of no return. We have to keep going!" I tried to motivate him but I couldn't imagine that it helped much. I felt it get just a little tighter pushing the wall against my chest. There was only just enough space for me to move forward. We moved through such tight walls for what seemed as long as the amount we got through from the start. That might just be because it was so horrible and painful to get through. The wall was pushing against my chest and some sharper stones pushed into my body before I could get passed. I could hear Max breathe heavier with the second. He sounded almost asthmatic. When I felt the passage open up when me wrist could actually turn every way I was relieved. "Not much further Max. Keep going." I said as I felt the wall move off my chest. It was getting wider again. But not for Max. In his mind we were still going with the wall pushing against our face. I pulled him through that last bit. "Come on, keep going, not much further now." I kept trying to encourage him but his own legs wouldn't take him any further. Luckily we were in a much wider part of the passed when he collapsed. I could drag him from there until we reached a room much like the other side. It was exacttly like the other side, it was as if we had never gone through the passage at all and had gone through that for nothing. That was possibly the worst about it.
"Max, snap out of it." I said slapping him across the face. The passage had really messed him up badly. I had no idea he had a fear like that. It was so human while with his determination and keep on going attitude he rarely ever seemed just human. But here he was knocked out from fear. I was relieved when he opened his eyes. He had been breathing constantly but that wasn't really a sign of life for me. It meant a was living not that he was alive. A coma patient was breathing but he was hardly alive. "You okay?" Of course he wasn't okay. This was probably going to haunt the both of us for a while. Mostly I wanted to know if we could keep going. I wanted to get out of this basement.
"Yeah, just give me a minute." So again we sat in the same place with a different exit I hoped. For a second we sat there in silence regaining some nerves. We figured it would only get worse from here on so we had to be prepared. I wondered how this could get any worse. I didn't know what fear we could be tormented with next. "I'm sorry for pulling you into this Angel. I didn't think it'd be this bad." He said. I didn't see why he should apologize. It was hard but I was glad I was there.
"I wouldn't have wanted you to face this alone. It's good that we're both here. We might actually stand a chance now." I said to him with a confident smile. I knew the next fear would be mine so I had to be prepared. I raised myself to my feet and gave Max a hand getting onto his. "You ready to do this?" I asked. He nodded. Walking up the stairs side by side we opened the hatch ready to face whatever was going to be thrown at us.
We were in the barn. At least I figured we were. Which meant that either the tunnel seemed much longer than it was or made a run around the world before ending up here. Maybe it was just part of whatever was happening here. I hoped we would get some answers here. The barn was filled with hay and farming tools as to be expected. Through the window I could see the grey mist, we weren't out yet. But there was nothing here. Were we supposed to go through the mist? It couldn't be. I looked around trying to find something, some clue of what to do. As I scouted through the hay I felt a head ache coming up. Nothing rare, I had been under quite some stress the last hour. But it got worse and worse, voices formed in my head. Colt, he was coming out. He was pushing me out and I could barely resist. I wanted to yell out to Max, let him know he was taking over. If he knew he could take me down now that I wasn't a threat yet. But I couldn't. Colt took over and all I could do was watch.
"Did you find anything?" Colt asked from across the barn trying to act like me. Of course Max had no idea it wasn't me in control any more. He couldn't notice the difference that easily, no one could. Unless Colt showed his true self no one saw the difference, not even my best friends. Colt walked to Maximus as if nothing was up, approaching as a friend, it was a good way to kill and one Colt loved to use.
"Nothing, I have no idea what we're supposed to do here but I'm not going back. I'm glad enough we got through there once. And we have the binder so fuck it." Max said. Colt couldn't believe Max had gone through that for a stupid binder about his family. It gave him the idea to visit the remaining Colts for a moment, just to make sure the name was original again.
"I guess." Colt said reaching for the Zippo lighter. Once he felt the shape of it in his pocket he moved quickly, thank the gods Max reacted at the same speed. Colt pulled out the Zippo, made it turn to the shape of a sword and brought it down on Maximus. Maximus had raised his own sword and was just quick enough to block the attack although he was brought to the ground.
"Fear number four huh?" Maximus said. Colt laughed at him trying to put more pressure on Maximus. He had the upper hand but he hadn't beaten Max yet. I was still watching trying to do something, anything to save my friend but Colt had total control. "Come on Angel, this isn't Colt. He's got more finesse than this. It's you, this is your fear, the constant fear you carry around with you." Max was right. The fear that Colt would kill one of my friends. It was something that haunted me day and night and there was nothing I could do about it. "You can beat it Angel. You think you can't be he's not as strong as you. You're the one in control and he's the one possessing, you can kick him out so do it!" I didn't know what to do, what to try but I tried. I tried to take control, I gave it my all and realized that he was never in control, it was just me affected by the fear that had been trying to destroy us. Colt had never been out. I stopped applying pressure to Max's sword and stepped back. "You back amongst the living?" I nodded still shocked from what had happened.
"So is this it?" I asked. "We faced our fears didn't we?" I had no idea what else this could have been about. Max had gotten through the tunnels, I had 'defeated' Colt. What else could we fear? Of course my question was answered with the worst fear Max and I shared. The god that we defeated and imprisoned. Phthonos, god of envy, malice and ill-will.
"If it isn't Michael and Maximus. The dynamic duo." Phthonos said with a tone of hatred. He looked at us with his piercing red eyes burning fear into our hearts. Defeating him scarred us all and cost us two lives. How were we supposed to beat him now? This was a fear we couldn't defeat. A memory that would haunt us for ever.
"It can't be you, you're just another illusion!" Maximus yelled out. This was something we couldn't handle any more, not after what we had already been through. We barely survived that and this on top of it was going to kill us.
"Hush my slave." Phthonos smiled sadistically. "Of course that's what you want to believe that I am not real. Did you really think Tartarus could hold me forever? You are fools to have thought so." He hated us, he truly hated us for what we did to him. What horrible ways of torture had he come up with in the year he spent in the pit? What pain were we to endure by his hand? I didn't want to know, I just wanted him to end it quickly. "How could you two have thought that you beat me. While you Max can't even be free from me. Even when I was in the pit you pursued me and tried to recover what I had stolen. And you Michael, who can't even figure out who you are. You are pathetic." I was sick of his insults, sick of being afraid. We defeated him before, we could do it again. I still had Shadow-edge in my hands. With all my strength I threw it towards Phthonos hoping it would hit him. As the blade neared him Phthonos smiled. With one wave of his arm the sword I held so dear turned into nothing but shadows. There was nothing left of my weapon. "Pathetic. Now Maximus. It's time you endure your punishment for betraying me." His lips curled into a sadistic smile as Maximus started to scream in pain. The chain located in his arm was moving, Phthonos was removing it from the bone and muscle it had been burned into. It was a pain I couldn't possibly imagine.
I could only watch. There was nothing I could do. I had no sword, no way to stand against the burning fear in my heart. All I could do was watch as Maximus got tortured. No, that was the only thing I couldn't do. I would never stand there and watch, even if the other option was the death of me. I needed a weapon, but how? Shadows, that's what my sword had turned into. If it was shadows it wasn't gone, on the contrary. I knew it was a risk, but I knew it would work. I ran towards the god that had nearly killed me almost a year ago. The god that had cause pain I would like to forget. Phthonos, the god who's face represented evil. I ran towards him bringing all the shadow into my hand making it turn into the sword that had never abandoned me. Phthonos could have turned it into anything from molten rock to ice but he decided to turn it into the one thing I had some power over, and he called us fools. I brought Shadow-edge across Phthonos' body releasing Maximus' from the pain. Phthonos fell to his knees and was hurt. I knew I couldn't kill him but any pain I could cause him was worth it. That's when I noticed it, this thing I just cut wasn't a god, it wasn't Phthonos. Instead of the golden blood that should have came from the wound there was only grey mist. It was just another illusion. I wanted to look over towards Maximus to see if he was all right but when I saw the metal chain wrap around Phthonos' neck I figured he was doing okay. Phthonos got reeled in like a fish seemingly changing the role of master and slave.
"I'm not..." Maximus took a moment to catch a breath. The chain was still in it's previous location but the pain had been very real. "your slave!" He screamed as he pierced Phthonos with his sword. As the body of the god turned into mist I knew it was over. I could see the mist clear, we had defeated our fears. "Is it over?" Maximus asked as he collapsed to his knees. I had been through hell, but he had been through much worse.
"Yeah, it is." I said. That's when the doors to the barn opened from the outside. There was someone here. The only question I had was whether he was human or not. A hooded man walked into the barn. He walked bend over and used a improvised cane to support him. From the stick hung pendants in different sort of shapes. I expected the man's face to be old but it was quite the contrary. His face was that of a middle aged man but it was...worn. There was scars all over his face and one of his eyes was sown shut. Who this was? I had no idea. I knew he wasn't mortal, power radiated from him. Fear radiated from him.
"You both passed your tests, very impressive. The bravest are the ones that fear most, but they're the ones that overcome it." The man said with a raspy voice. I had a guess who this was, no one else could test us with fear like this. "Tell me Michael. Why do you think I'm here?" He addressed me personally, that usually wasn't good. I had to think, giving the wrong answer wasn't an option. I went over everything I had seen, and I realized the only right answer was on his knees next to me.
"You address the wrong person Phobos." I said. I knew I couldn't be wrong, this had to be the god of fear and he was here for Maximus. "Everything that happened was a test for Maximus, I was just along for the ride." I said. I could see in the god's face that I was right. I could see it because he didn't expect that I would be.
"You're very sharp son of Erebus. You and your friend's fates lie close together, what you saw here today will strengthen you and bring you to the final day." I didn't know what Phobos meant, gods never talked straight up English.
"If you're here for me, why do you talk to him?" Maximus got back to his feet. "Phobos, if you're here to claim me as your son, tell me. Am I right about this place? Is this my home?" Max was obviously one step ahead of me. I had no idea that Phobos was Maximus' father. I had no idea how he knew.
"You are right about my purpose here my son." Phobos said. With a wave of his hand a roaring lions head appeared above Maximus. "But this place is another boy's home. Another boy taken by Phthonos, one who didn't survive."
"So I am not who I think I am? Maximus Meridius...that's not me." Phobos shook his head. I didn't understand what was going on. I needed to rewind this and watch it again to understand it.
"Who you are is my son, the son of fear. You're past is not as important as your future. Forget who you were and be Maximus Matthew Meridius. After you leave here you will find the curse put on your arm will have become a blessing. Go now, son of fear, make me proud." The barn disappeared around us, returning us to the omega of cabins at camp half-blood.