Wind of change chapter 7

***Coming Home STOP

Lou's in trouble may be headed your way STOP

Keep her there STOP

Will be home 2 days

Jimmy***

Teaspoon handed the paper to Rachel and began to pace the kitchen floor, rubbing his chin thinking about what he should do.

"Are you going to try to follow her? Try to bring her back?" Emily said "Buck should be back soon, but I can go get him if you want."

"No, we won't know what we're riding into till Jimmy gets here, and I doubt we could catch up to her before she gets to Emma's, she's got a 2 day head start. Let's wait for Jimmy, see what he knows and then we'll decide."

Rachel took a deep breath and hands the wire back to Teaspoon "Well he's not going to be happy when he gets here and finds her gone."

"Well that can't be helped darlin'" Teaspoon sighed "he ain't gonna be happy when we tell him about Kid either."

…

Jimmy stopped just outside of town, when he left almost 2 years ago he didn't know if he'd ever be back. He'd been back once, a long time ago, the family was scattered to the four winds and it didn't look like it was ever going to be the same. It was hard to come back, there were so many memories here. Most of the memories were good. Memories of the family that had accepted him without question, they didn't always like what he did and they hadn't always agreed on things, but they had his back and he had theirs. There were hard memories too and now they were all stirred up by seeing Lou's picture, by riding the trail into to town and now sitting on his palomino looking out over the last place he'd called home. He remembered the deaths of two brothers, Ike and Noah and he remembered riding out with Rosemary with no plans to ever come back. But the bitter sweet memories that have always haunted him all have to do with Lou, even now after all this time he'll still wake up with the feeling of her hands on his back, her breath soft on his skin and her tiny but strong body next to his. He remembers her coming out of the church…..he'd given her away, he leaned in to kiss her on the cheek, one hand sliding onto her waist and the other hand high on her ribs and he felt her tremble just a little. Sometimes when he dreams of her in her wedding dress standing on a log with a noose around her neck and he could never shot fast enough or straight enough to save her, he knows he'd done the right thing. They were just dreams though, just his demons to live with the best he could but the reality is there wasn't anything he wouldn't do for Lou, especially now that she's in trouble. He tied Sundancer up outside the marshal's office, walked up and smiled at the old man with his feet up on the desk.

"Seems Rachel still hasn't convinced you to give up the badge?" Jimmy says as he walks in.

"Well son, not yet not yet" Teaspoon smiled at his prodigal son as he stood up "You're looking good, where you been? Rachel's been missing you."

"Rachel huh?"

"Well I imagine Buck and Emily missed you. And I might admit to missing you a time or two" Teaspoon always had a soft spot for Jimmy; remind him of himself many years ago and he understood better than most what it's like to live life by the gun.

"I saw Amanda a while back when I was in Abilene; she told me Rachel had made an honest man of you. I was real happy to hear you two got hitched."

"Yea, Amanda wrote me that you'd been in, how was she? What's that new beau of hers like?"

"Seemed nice enough I guess, she did look real happy Teaspoon"

"Good, I'm glad." Teaspoon walked around to the front of the desk and leaned against it "Jimmy you need ta tell me what's goin' on with Lou."

Jimmy took off his hat, ran his fingers through his hair and sat down. "Well looks like she's in some trouble with the law in Virginia and is on the run. Is she here teaspoon?"

"No son, she ain't"

"Have you seen her? Or heard from her or Kid?"

"Just start by telling me what you know about the trouble she's got herself in"

"Well it seems that Lou can't keep from meddling no matter where she goes, only this time it ain't some body's love life she's meddling in and it's brought her serious trouble" Jimmy pulled the wanted poster from his pocket and handed it to Teaspoon. "I got that from Jake Coulter, he said the law in Virginia and the confederate army was looking for her. He said there was talk about her having killed two men trying to escape."

Teaspoon looked at the likeness of Lou on the poster, it wasn't something he ever thought he'd see and it made him feel sick to his stomach.

Jimmy watched Teaspoon, he saw anger and flashes of fear across his face, but there was something missing "Now Teaspoon why don't you look surprised by all this? What's going on?"

He didn't look up from the face of his daughter on a wanted poster "She was here Jimmy; she left 4 days ago…"

Jimmy stood up "Was Kid with her?" Teaspoon shook his head.

Jimmy's voice was giving away the real fear he felt for Lou "Well then we have to go after her." Teaspoon reached out and took hold of Jimmy's arm as he headed for the door

Jimmy turned, shaking off Teaspoons hold "Does Kid even know she's here? He's supposed to take care of her. Look I'll get Buck and a fresh horse and we can leave…"

"Jimmy you got to listen to me for a minute…Son! Damnit Sit down!" Teaspoon doesn't raise his voice often but when he did you listen.

"Jimmy, 'bout Kid…..well he weren't able to come home with her" Jimmy's closed his eyes and held his breath knowing what Teaspoon was about to say "Kid died in Virginia, a few months back" Jimmy dropped his hat and laid his head in his hands.

Memories of Kid came flooding in, all the ones he'd push away for so long. Memories of their fights, their fun, of the times they rode together and the times they rode after one another and they saved each other's lives too many times to count. They competed on everything, they fought hard, they played hard and they laughed loud. Just like brothers. He'd held all those memories at bay for a long time, since he left with Rosemary, since he said goodbye to Lou at the pond, since he turned his back on the one place that felt like home.

No! No! Not Kid, the best friend he'd ever had was dead. Jimmy couldn't hold it in any more, quiet sobs escaped Jimmy's body and tears came like a torrent. Teaspoon stood in front of him his own tears coming down, and put his hands on Jimmy's shoulders and waited while the first hard wave of overwhelming grief washed over Jimmy.

"How's Lou" Jimmy finally asked wiping his face on his sleeve "Tell me what happened?"

"Son let's get you home. I'll tell you everything and then we can figure out how to help our girl."

….

"Oh Emma thank you so much for letting her stay here" Lou sat on the floor with her beautiful baby girl.

"Oh you know I didn't mind, in fact I loved it. She is such a good baby, and you both have been through so much, it was nice to spoil her a little, you should stay a few more days and let me spoil you too."

"You spoiled me plenty when I was here before, and I guess need to get moving"

"You're not going back are you?" Emma asked

Lou looked up at the woman that had been a mother to her "I don't know, they'll take one look at her, just like you and Sam did and they'll know. I can't do that to them, I wouldn't have done it to you if I'd any other choice. They'll know and then what will they think of me? And then what if he finds outs? I don't want anything from him; I just want to raise my baby and take care of my brother and sister."

"You're being foolish," Emma said firmly "they love you just like Sam and I do, we don't think anything bad about you. They will want some kind of explanation; I know I do and I hope someday you can tell me. Maybe for now you could answer one question. If you don't want Jimmy to know that he has a daughter, is it 'cause Jimmy hurt you?"

"No! No Emma. Jimmy and I understood each other. We could see each other's darkness and demons and we loved not just in spite of em' but because of 'em."

"Then why marry Kid? Why do that to him"

"Emma I didn't know I was expecting when Kid and I got married, what happened between Jimmy and I well it was only one night and it happened about 2 weeks before the wedding. Jimmy and I never talked about it after. He was always worried about someone getting hurt because of who he is and he felt like he didn't have anything to offer. We danced around each other for a long time, we'd start to get close and Jimmy would back away or he'd push me away. Well we made one last run together to Seneca and to Fenton, and well, I guess I pushed back I said somethings maybe I shouldn't have, being engaged and all

"God Lou…" Jimmy says in a strained voice and puts a hand up, he has every intention of pushing her away again, but he knows she right this is their only chance, and his hand slowly caresses her face as Louise moans softly and melts into his touch. Lou steps closer her hands finding their way to his hips, Jimmy's other hand snakes his way around her waist and pulls her body tight against his. Lou feels his truth, his excitement pressing against her thigh. His hand that was gently caressing her face makes his way into her hair as Lou's hands slowly worked to unbuckle his gun belts and lowers them to the ground, she tugs hard at his shirt and pulls it free, she's desperate to feel his skin under her hands. A low groan rolls up into Jimmy's chest as Lou's hands run slowly up his back and fanning their way around to his chest that groan becomes a growl that escapes his lips has her fingers trace the hair that runs down the length of his firm stomach.

Lou having trouble catching her breath, whispers against Jimmy's neck "I choose this"…"I choose it Jimmy, I choose you…." Lou's breathing stops for a moment as Jimmy's hand slides down the curve of her low back, stroking her hip before taking a strong hold of her shapely ass.

"I Love you Jimmy and if all I can have is one night then give me this night, Jimmy give us this one night

"But Emma I don't regret it, not what I said and not what we did."

"What about Kid, he loved you"

"I thought Kid would be the safe choice and yea he loved me in his own way, but things changed after the wedding and turns out he weren't who I thought he was. I think he fooled all of us" Lou stood up "We're going to turn in she's almost asleep in my arms. I'll see you in the morning. I love you Emma, thank you for everything."

"I love you too Lula Belle. Sleep well"

Once Jaimie was sound asleep, Lou snuggled under the covers and allowed herself to remember that night so long ago. A memory she fought and hadn't given into untill now. A memory filled with a love and passion she had never known and probably won't again. A memory that was raw, rough and filled her with an ache that was almost embarrassing in it intensity and it left her wanting more. Her hands began to slowly roam her body as she let the memories of that night surface…

"Mind if we stop in Seneca on the way back"

"Why"

"Something I need to pick up"

Jimmy nods "Ok by me" he says as they ride out of Fenton "but it's backtracking and means an extra night on the trail, if we head home now we can be home by dark"

"That's fine, Teaspoon said to take as much time as I needed"

…

The fire is warm and bright. And Lou warms her hands close to the fire "You're awful quiet Jimmy"

Jimmy sits just on the other side of the fire deep in his thoughts. Thoughts about what happened at Fenton and about the things Lou said as they broke camp the other morning. He had to keep his head together and his heart out of his business. If he'd just do that he can make it back to Rock Creek. But with the fire casting reddish shadows on her auburn hair and the way the flames danced in her eyes it wasn't going got be easy.

"Just thinking" Jimmy said.

Lou got up and walked over and sat next to Jimmy 'Not helping not helping' Jimmy thought to himself.

Lou looked at Jimmy "Feels like you're avoiding me" Jimmy just shook his head "Nope"

"Jimmy, about what I said to you the other morning I didn't mean ta make you uncomfortable, I really needed to tell you what I thought and I figured that would be my last chance. I wasn't expecting to spend any more time alone with you."

"Lou don't push. We all got feelings and thoughts just some of us think is a better idea to keep em' inside."

"I know but I meant what I said, about you being my best friend. I don't know what will happen after the express stops running. I figure we will all go our separate ways, Cody's already signed up with the Army and Kids wantin' to head to Virginia and I don't know what your plans are but it feels like our family is coming to an end Jimmy and it makes me sad and I wonder where we will all be a year from now or how we will find our way back. Or if we ever will."

Jimmy reached around Lou and dropped his arm over her shoulder 'what are you doing Hickok?'

"I know Lou, I was thinking about Ike today and the war coming and it's all gonna be different. I don't know what my plans are really, probably head to Kansas spend time with Celinda, but beyond that I don't know"

Lou laid her head against him "Jimmy, Look up" she moved closer "you see that bright star, the North Star, ancient travelers used that star to find their way home. Think of me when you see that star Jimmy and I'll think of you. It'll remind us both of the home we have."

They sat like that a long time in sweet silence watching the stars; the only sound was the beating of their hearts and the ever increasing pace of their breathing as they sit dangerously close to one another.

"Jimmy" Lou whispered disrupting the silence and sliding her arms around him turns and reaches up to pull jimmy in for a kiss.

Jimmy pushes her back "Lou don't, you don't know what you're doing"

Lou leans in and Kisses Jimmy gently on his lips and whispers "Yes I do Jimmy ….."

Jimmy stands, stumbles and backs away feeling surprised, thrilled, guilty and wanting more.

She stands up and steps closer and places one hand on his chest.

"Damnit Lou" Jimmy pushes her back "you're getting married in a few weeks."

"Yea I am" Lou turns her back to Jimmy and faces the dancing fire "Jimmy, in a few weeks my life will change, my life will end.…"
"Lou, it ain't like that yo….." Jimmy starts to interrupt.

"…and I know I made that choice and for the rest of my life I will live as another person. I don't mind that so much, Kid and I will build a nice life, a safe life. But I've never really wanted that nice life."

She turns back to face another fire, this one in Jimmy's eyes.

"I haven't ever really wanted what other folks think of as nice. I look back on the years I lived after leaving the orphanage, it was a hard life, I made hard choices, but they always felt right. I learned to follow my heart and keep my head, I'm proud of that life, of my life. I am a woman that never chose what's right, what's safe or what's nice I chose what I needed and I did what I had to do. And I admit I missed out on some things, but I don't regret my choices. I chose who I am.

And dressin' and living like a boy was safer that's true but it wasn't the safest and sure wasn't the nicest or even the right thing ta do. You should hear what folks say about me when they find out I lived in the bunkhouse with you boys, most of its not nice."

Jimmy listens in awe as Lou carefully chooses her words; he watches as she talked with passion and purpose, he's certain now that this woman will always have his heart. That no one will ever touch him like she has. This passionate, spitfire, little slip of girl stands taller and stronger than any women he will ever know.

"And I never really cared so much what people thought of me. That life suited me, this life of being strong, of being powerful and making my own way. I made the decisions about my destiny, I made choices how to live, how to love, I left when somethin' didn't suit me, or when there was somethin' better just over the next hill. I won't be able to do that anymore. I am walking away from my life and walking towards a different life doing what the world expects me to do, living the way a women should. Following someone else's rules, following someone else's lead. And that's the choice I make to have the family I want and to fulfill the promise I made to my ma all those years ago."

Lou walks slowly toward Jimmy and stops with just a few inches between them "Jimmy this women you see standing in front of you, lives life on her terms, for just a little while longer. This is the only time we'll have Jimmy, this night is our chance, our time, just tonight, I aint asking for anything else, just tonight….."

"God Lou…" Jimmy says in a strained voice and puts a hand up, he has every intention of pushing her away again, but he knows she right, this is their only chance, and his hand slowly caresses her face as Louise moans softly and melts into his touch. Lou steps closer her hands finding their way to his hips as Jimmy's other hand snakes his way around her waist and pulls her body tight against his. Lou feels his truth, his excitement pressing against her thigh. His hand that was gently caressing her face makes his way into her hair as Lou's hands slowly worked to unbuckle his gun belts and lowers them to the ground, she tugs hard at his shirt and pulls it free, she's desperate to feel his skin under her hands. A low groan rolls up into Jimmy's chest as Lou's hands run slowly up his back and fanning their way around to his chest that groan becomes a growl that escapes his lips has her fingers trace the hair that runs down the length of his firm stomach.

Lou was having trouble catching her breath and whispers against Jimmy's neck "I choose this"…"I choose it Jimmy, I choose you…." Lou's breathing stops for a moment as Jimmy's hand slides down the curve of her low back, stroking her hip before taking a strong hold of her shapely ass pulling even closer.

"I Love you Jimmy and if all I can have is one night then give me this night, Jimmy give us this one night" the unbridled Love shining in her deep brown eyes pushes him to the point of no return. With his breath coming fast and his eyes black with untapped passion Jimmy grabs her hair pulls her head back, and gives up the fight. His mouth descends onto hers with all the passion he has held back for so long and Lou matches his passion with a fire he has never felt before.

There is no turning back, the young lovers couldn't stop if they want to, the sounds they make, the touch of their skin, the combined heat of their bodies tell their story if only to each other and if only for this one night.

Yea, I was forced to re-read and re-read and read again the amazing stories written by JayLaw. And I can in no way write such amazing, smuty, beautiful, erotic, glistening, glorious hotness as is written by you JayLaw, I bow I bow I bow at your ability to turn "he f**ked until she was blue" ( 'cause that's what most of us can cum up with ) into prose and poetry. I stand in awe. So dear readers the Dark Night of the Hot Soul that Jimmy and Lou shared is left to your imaginations. But don't make it too sweet, remember these are 2 gloriously dark souls, who can only truly find the light in each other's arms…..but we'll get to that later. Damn this is fun!