Winds of Change Chapter 9
'Oh God I hurt all over', Lou thought as she struggled her way to consciousness. She starts to move a little just to make sure things are working, feet, hands and legs but she can't seem to open her eyes and she can't seem to breathe right, almost like that time she had pneumonia, 'do I have pneumonia? Have I been sick?' she thought. 'God my mind is foggy.' The last thing Lou remembers is leaving Emma's and taking Jamie to Rock Creek.
'Jamie!' Lou remembers being at the creek and the gunshots, she forces her eyes open and looks around, she's lying in a bed, in a room she's never seen before and nothing looks familiar except the figure sleeping in the chair next to the bed. His head is slumped forward; hair hanging and covering his face, next to the chair is a table and on it rests a familiar black hat.
"Jimmy?" Lou her voice barely more than a whisper
"Jimmy" Lou says again and then the figure stirs, opening his eyes he smiles looking at Lou's deep brown eyes for the first time in days.
"Hey there" Jimmy leans in resting his forearms on the bed.
Lou frowns "Jimmy are you hurt?"
"What…. me?... No" he says as he takes her hand.
"You have blood all over you" her voice sounds funny and her head is still fuzzy.
Jimmy sobers a bit "Well sweetheart, that's yours" he forced a smile "who'd a thought someone as tiny as you could have that much blood in 'em. So how ya feeling, do you need me to get the doc?"
"Everything hurts, my head is fuzzy and I cain't seem ta breathe real well. What about Jamie? Buck took her I remember that, but where are we and how long have they been gone?"
"Whoa, one question at a time, your breathing isn't gonna be right for a while, the bullet went clean through but broke some ribs and according to the doc your lung got nicked, his word not mine, by either the bullet or a piece of the bone and you lost a lot of blood…."
"Looks like you're wearing most of it" Lou said in a barely audible voice, pointing a weak finger towards his shirt and pants.
"Yep, I guess I am" Jimmy said as he looked down at his clothes. He shuttered as he remembered Lou's pale face as he rode hell bent for leather towards Fort Kearny.
"Hang on Lou, don't die on me baby, we're almost there" Jimmy held Lou's pale
limp body close to his as he rode into Fort Kearny. Terror gripped him as he could only
hope he'd make it in time. He'd ridden Sundancer as hard as he could for well over an hour to
get her there but she was so cold and still in his
he wasn't even sure she was alive.
The tears on his face could have been from the wind in his eyes but they were most likely
from the fear in his heart that he'd lost her.
"How Long Jimmy" Lou said while trying to reach the water class on the bedside table.
Jimmy got the glass and held it so she could take a sip "We're in Fort Kearny and it's been 4 days since you were shot. Doc says you're doing real well and you should be able to travel in about a week or two."
"I cain't be here that long, I gotta go Jimmy. I need to get to the baby" Lou tries in vein to sit up and Jimmy gently pushes her back on to the bed. "I cain't wait a week or two I need to see her, she ain't never been away from me. She's gonna be scared."
Jimmy smiled as he fussed with the blankets "She's gonna be spoiled not scared. She has Rachel and Teaspoon fawnin' all over her, not to mention Buck and Emily. The most important thing is you get well so you can take care of her when you get home." Jimmy started to fluff her pillows.
"Jimmy stop fussing. Be still would ya. Tell me about the men who were shooting at me. What happened?"
Jimmy sat down on the side of the bed and told Lou about the bounty hunters, about Coulter, about coming to find her and about the shooting. They stayed like that for the better part of an hour, Jimmy with his body leaned a crossed hers watching her face looking for signs of pain and Lou listening while he told her all that happened as she held his hand and recognized it as the life line it was.
They were both surprised by the sound of the door opening and the sound of the doctor's cheerful voice as he came in. "Well how's my prettiest patient? Lou I'm Dr. Dempsey and I'm glad to see you awake. Now maybe you can convince your friend here to get some rest, he hasn't left your side since he damn near killed his horse to get you here. He turned to Jimmy…"would you go tell Mrs. Dempsey that Lou needs a little something to eat, while I check her dressing."
Jimmy nods at the doctor and bends down to brush the hair from Lou's face "I'll be back soon"
Jimmy walks out of spare room in the doctor's house, closes the door and leans against the wall and buries his face in his hands, his whole being is weak with fatigue and worry but he takes a deep breath and thanks whatever powers that be, that Lou is awake. Then feeling eyes on him Jimmy looks up and is surprised to see Emma walking toward him "Jimmy, how is she?" she asks as she opens her arms to one of her boys.
…
Jimmy sits next to Emma on the porch, having Emma here makes Jimmy feel better, he knew Lou needed her, but he was selfish too, because if Lou didn't make it he didn't want to have to face that alone.
Sam stands leaning against the porch railing, he knows this isn't the best time but as the territorial marshal he has a job to do, "Jimmy I need to know what happened to you and Lou out there. I got two dead men I have ta account for and I'm sorry but I gotta have Lou's side of things too."
Jimmy looked at Sam with fierce eyes "Not right now Sam, she seems to be getting better but she's still real bad off, when I got her here she was barely breathing and I couldn't find a heartbeat,
Having been to Fort Kearny many times Jimmy knew where the surgery was.
He yelled for help as he brought Sundancer to a stop in front, a woman comes
running out as Jimmy dismounts holding Lou's lifeless body "I don't thinks she's
breathing, help me please!" Jimmy hollers climbing the front steps.
"In here" the woman tells him as she opens the door to the surgery
"Edward, Edward come quick" the woman calls pushing Jimmy aside after he lays
Lou on the exam table. The woman begins issuing orders like a drill sergeant
"Get her coat off…get me that basin…..get out of the way… tell me what happened"
Jimmy just did what he could till the doctor came in "alright son step out please we will take care of him" not realizing that Lou was Louise
"He's a she" Jimmy says not taking his eyes off of Lou
"What?" the doctor says
"She goes by Lou but her names Louise; she used to ride the pony express, it's a long story and I ain't leaving." Jimmy says looking up at the Doctor.
The doctor seeing conviction in his eyes nods "alright but stay over there" he points to a chair in the corner "outta the way and tell me what happened"
"Just tell me is she alive?" Jimmy's voice is quiet
"Yes son for the moment, just tell me what happened" the doctor asks as he begins to try and save Lou's life.
"The doc saved her life Sam but she's awful weak, your questions need to wait"
"Jimmy you saved her" Emma said "You got her to the doctor. You're the one went after her, it was you that found her and you knew she needed you."
Jimmy got up and walked the length of the porch looking at the door "The doc seems to be taking a long time"
Emma shook her head and stood up "Jimmy, lord, just look at you. You have to get cleaned up" Emma gently touched his shirt realizing it was Lou's blood, her voice caught a little "and you probably haven't eaten or slept hardly at all. You go with Sam over to the hotel, you get a bath and some rest….." Emma held up her hand to stop Jimmy from starting a fight "Now, no arguments. You need to make your statement to Sam anyway. I'm going to sit with LulaBelle, do like I say, 'cause you're no good to her if you make yourself sick." Emma stood up and just about pushed Jimmy off the porch in the direction of the hotel as she turned to go see her girl.
…
Lou heard a soft knock on the door "Jimmy?"
Emma poked her head into Lou's room "No it's me Lulabelle, can I come in?"
"Emma! Of course you can come in" Lou tries to sit up a bit and gasps in pain "What are you doing here?"
"I came to see you." Emma helps Lou lay back down "Jimmy sent us a telegram, said you were hurt, so Sam and I came on down. He an Jimmy are at the hotel talking about what happened, then he's gonna get some rest while I stay with you" Emma sat down and looked at the bowl of soup on the table, it hadn't been touched "Lou ya gotta eat, here let me help" Emma picked up the bowl. "Lou, you wanna tell me about what happened in Virginia. If all you did was hide a few runaway slaves why is there a bounty out for ya?"
Lou took a sip of broth and sighed "Ain't important Emma, soon as I am able I'll move on, I don't want to cause any trouble"
"Lord Lou that's not what I mean. But there are obviously things you aren't telling anyone. I want to help; you used to be able to talk to me" Emma fed Lou another spoon full of broth "You remember that insurance fella you met, the one that robbed the company" Lou nodded.
"Yea, Tyler….."
"Well we talked then and you can still talk ta me now Louise. Tell me what happened, not just about escaping from Virginia, but about Kid too. You said things had changed, what did you mean?" Emma put down the bowl and walked to the window to open the curtains and let some light in.
Lou rose up on one elbow and looked over at Emma, "When I was trying to get us outta Virginia, well I was being shot at and simply returned the favor, pretty sure 2 of them went down, they were law men that's all I know." Lou lay back on the bed not just tired but weary, weary of it all. "As for Kid, I said it weren't important, he's gone and I'm sorry for that I truly am. I loved him, but I guess that wasn't enough. He wanted me to be something I couldn't be and didn't want to be. And I know it weighed on him but he made it hard on us, he wanted me ta change but he wouldn't. I cain't talk about it Emma, let Sam come and talk to me about the shooting, I'll tell him what I can remember, but I ain't talking about Kid."
Emma pulled the blanket up and smoothed the hair from Lou's face "I'll let it go Lulabelle, but I'm here if you ever want to talk. You rest now, I'll sit with ya till you fall asleep" Emma sits and watches Lou as she wonders about what must have happened between Lou and Kid.
…
"Good morning Louise" Emma says as she comes in "the doc has said it's ok for you to get up today, for a little bit anyway" Emma opens the curtains and the windows "so I thought I'd help you take a bath and then we could sit on the porch for a spell. How does that sound?"
"Sounds real good Emma, all I want is to wash my hair, and after 6 days in bed I'm bored near to death" Lou sits up slow and lowers her legs over the side of the bed and cautiously stands up.
Emma lends Lou her arm to lean on as they head to the tub room "And then maybe you can tell me what these bad dreams you keep having are all about."
Lou looks up at Emma, nods "I guess I should tell someone."
…..
"I loved Kid, I did, right from the start, but I can look back now and see things I didn't know then and I know why I fell for him and why I stayed. I wished I had known then what I know now. Part of it is as much my fault as his….."
"Louise your talkin' in circles" Emma sat next to the tub, she had washed Lou's hair and now Lou was enjoying a soak.
"I'm Sorry Emma."
"Tell me about the dream last night" Emma had been sitting with Lou while she fell asleep and had dozed off herself when she heard Lou crying out and yelling for Kid to stop.
"In the dream I was fighting with Kid, seems like that's all we did was fight"
"Kid for heaven's sake what do you think is gonna' to happen on the 10 mile ride into town?" Lou says walking Lightening out of the barn "I haven't been off this place in two weeks and we need somethings for the house as well as for the stock. Now please get out of my way, the
sooner I git the sooner I git back"
"Well then I'm going too" Kid says going to get Katy
Lou turns and shouts "Lord Kid, now you're just being foolish!"
In two quick steps Kid is in front of Lou tightly holding her right wrist "Don't call me foolish. It's not foolish to worry about my wife. I saw the way Mr. Douglas looked at you the last time we were in there. And it's not proper for a woman to go out on her own"
Lou pulled her arm away and rub her wrist "This woman has been going out on her own since she was 12 but suit yourself. Only you cain't blame me if your chores around here don't get done.
"Kid always had a temper Emma, you remember how he was, Kids temper wasn't like Jimmy's or Cody's. Jimmy was mad at the world it seemed; his temper wasn't about any one person or idea, his temper never scared me" Lou chuckled a bit "Hell Noah used to say that Jimmy just woke up mad."
Emma smiled "I remember Jimmy in those days"
Lou continued. "And Cody he was pretty calm unless you threatened him or if the family was in danger. That's what riled him up the most, if Cody lost his temper it meant he had my back, he didn't scare me. But with Kid it was all about 'right and wrong', his idea of it. His temper got the best of him if there was some injustice being done. He fought hard for total strangers if there was something wrong, sometimes we thought he was crazy to take on every fight, every battle but I loved him all the more for that kinda chivalry. But he was rigid too and so were his ideas, set in stone all of 'em. At the time I saw that as stability, I saw him as a strong man with strong ideals and I figured me being a strong woman, well I guess I thought we'd take on the world together. Fight side by side. But we never fought side by side we always fought face to face and I was never sure where the battle lines were drawn and sometimes, he scared me.
Most of this was after you and Sam moved and especially after he and I …..well we got real close and at first his jealousy and possessiveness was kinda flattering and sweet, I was young and I thought that's what love was. But looking back I see it wasn't really love, I guess it's all he knew though. Emma he would try to tell me how to work and dress. He tried to control everything. He tried to separate me from the family, even moved my things from the bunkhouse to Rachel's. If I was late coming in from a run he drove everyone crazy or worse he'd come looking. Even when he proposed, it wasn't just 'cause he loved me but more because what we were doing was wrong. Would'a been like a shotgun wedding only he was holding the shotgun. He eased up some after we started planning the wedding, I thought it was going to be ok, that once we were married he wouldn't feel like keeping me in a cage or being so jealous but I was wrong. It was alright for a little while, but even after Noah died and we went after the men that shot him, Kid didn't want me going with them but I went anyway. Family is the most important thing you and Teaspoon taught us that.
Emma had a worried look on her face "Did he ever hurt you Louise?"
Lou nodded "yea, but not at first and not much, just would grab me by the arms or push me into a chair to keep me from leaving or fighting him back."
"What did Teaspoon or Rachel say when you told them all this?"
Lou was quiet "Lou you told them right, that you were scared?"
"No Emma I thought it would change that it would get better. I thought somehow I could fix it."
Lou shivered as much from the cold water as the memories "Oh Lou I've kept you talking and let the water get cold. Let's get you out of there and into clean cloths."
As Lou dressed and Emma cleaned up the tub Lou asked Emma for a favor "Of course darlin'"
"Don't tell anyone. It would be bad enough if they thought anything bad about Kid, but I don't want them to look at me like a wife whose husband beat her, it wasn't like that. I was always so strong and a fighter, but living like that, well you lose something, a piece of yourself."
Emma stops Lou at the door and turns her around
"Louise, did you have a husband who beat you, did kid hit you?"
"Emma I don't want to talk about it anymore, it's over and Kid's gone. I need to move on. I just want to provide Jamie with the best life I can, I want to get Jerimiah and Teresa so we can have our own place."
Lou took Emma's arm and began to walk slowly towards the porch "What about Jimmy?" Emma asked
Lou just shook her head "Jimmy's always been a good friend to me but I don't want anything from anyone. I do better when I'm by myself. And I think that's for the best."