Title: The Lucky Ones
Characters: James "Bucky" Barnes & Loki
Captain America/Thor crossover, started during Captain America timeline, but has now moved to post-Avengers.
Rated M for slash
I don't own the characters, just the plot.
This chapter is dedicated to my #1 fan, TSA. Thank you so much for all your awesome reviews and support for me and this story. I hope this one is a little better on the feels than the last one, but it might not be. Just keep hanging in there, it will get better, I promise! You know I love these guys too much to torture them for too long. And also to my two lovely muses, BadAssBucky and LokiBarnes. You guys make me happy beyond words, and I hope to get you back together in my story soon!
Just a few more chapters left, guys!
As always, please review or send me some feedback on Twitter( Loki_Can) or on Tumblr, canofloki . tumblr .com. Thank you for reading!
-The Lucky Ones- Chapter 13
"As I said, I have nothing for you. So get out."
At those cruel words, Bucky crumpled to the floor, his heart as heavy as those tags felt in his hands. Tears streamed down his cheeks, and he tried desperately to hold back his sobs. Wrapping his arms around himself, staring at the floor through his tears, he saw Loki's boots stumble backwards. Had he not been so distraught, he would have wondered why they had moved so erratically. But Bucky had already squeezed his eyes shut, and his mind was far beyond noticing anything beyond his own anguish. His ears didn't register the fact that the doors to the room had burst open and SHIELD agents were streaming in, guns drawn. He didn't see them rush into the cell and shove an unresisting Loki up against a glass wall. Had he been coherent, he would have told the agents that it wasn't necessary to use such force, that Loki hadn't tried to escape since he'd been in there.
Bucky felt strong hands haul him to his feet, but he couldn't tell it was Steve. As he felt himself being led out of the cell, away from Loki, he started to pull away, but arms held onto him tightly with inhuman strength. That cleared his head long enough to look over at his captor and see Steve looking at him with concern.
"No!" he yelled, and wrenched himself from Steve's grip. Bucky wasn't nearly as strong as the Captain, so Steve must have let him go, realizing that he'd only hurt his friend if he held on. Once Bucky was free, he had only one goal in his head. Loki. He couldn't leave him like this. Noticing all the other agents for the first time, Bucky's heart filled with panic. He rushed back to the cell and saw Loki behind a disturbingly large group of men, who had him pressed hard into the glass.
"Let him go!" Bucky yelled, though it was futile. He tried to approach, but more agents grabbed at him and pulled him back out of the cell. Had he gotten there, he would have beaten those men to their deaths with his bare hands.
Desperate, knowing they were going to be taking him away any second, Bucky called out."Loki! Loki, I'm sorry! Please don't give up. Don't give up on me. I'll find a way to get to you. Don't..." Emotion flooded him, cutting off his words, and the sobs he had been trying to keep at bay surged out, unbridled.
"Okay, guys, I've got him." Steve told the men who still had a tight grip on Bucky's arms. "You can back off now." They hesitated. "Back off, I said!" he yelled, and they practically shoved the broken man into Steve's arms. Steve wrapped those arms around Bucky, and led him, without struggle this time, out of the room.
It was hours later when Bucky awoke, laying atop a bed in an unfamiliar room. Steve must have brought him here after they left the basement. The curtains were drawn, and several modern style lamps lit the room. Still in Stark's tower, then. It must be night, but Bucky didn't know how late it was. He turned to see if there was a clock next to the bed, but grimaced at the sudden pain in his throat. Memories rushed back in, and he dropped his head back to the pillow with a groan.
Thoughts of what had happened earlier, with Loki, ran through his head. Rationally, he knew why Loki said the things he did. He was trying to protect himself from what looked like a hopeless situation. And wasn't it hopeless? Bucky couldn't see a way out of it. He'd failed to find out what had happened to Loki when he was with those aliens. How could Thor help to plead his case if he didn't know all the facts? Frustration welled up, and Bucky wanted to cry, but he had no tears left. He felt drained, both literally and figuratively.
Bucky sat up when he heard the door to the room open. He was pleasantly surprised to see Thor walk in and he rushed over to him. "How is Loki? Is he okay?"
"He is fine. He remains in his cell, though we are returning to Asgard very soon." Thor replied.
"No! You can't take him back!" Bucky knew he sounded desperate and pathetic, but the thought of Loki leaving again, probably forever, it filled him with dread. He couldn't go back to living his life the way he had been. No. If he lost Loki again, it would kill him. "I need to see him again. I didn't even get a chance to ask him about what happened to him."
"I am sorry, Bucky, but there is no more time."
"But what will happen to him? They can't punish him if they don't understand why he did it."
"The All Father knows enough to make a fair judgement. It is the best we can hope for." Thor said, sadness in his voice. "What did my brother tell you?"
"He spent the whole time trying to push me away," said Bucky, bitterly. "He told me nothing but lies. I don't know if he was trying to convince himself or me, but I saw right through him."
"Then it is as I'd feared. I do not know what will become of Loki now. If he does not have you, then he may be truly lost." Thor looked down. His heartache clear to see. Bucky was glad to know he wasn't the only one who loved Loki dearly. Wasn't the only one willing to fight for him. Though it seemed Thor was on the verge of giving up.
"He does have me!" Bucky insisted. "He may not want to believe that. It may be easier for him to believe that he's all alone. That he's unloved. But I will always be at his side." A thought crossed Bucky's mind as he said those words. His eyes brightened and darted to Thor's. "Take me with you. Take me to Asgard and let me speak for Loki."
Thor huffed. "I do not think that will help, my friend."
"It can't hurt! Thor, please! Let me show Odin, and Loki, that someone is willing to stand up for him."
"I will stand up for him." Thor insisted.
"He deserves more." stated Bucky, simply.
Thor nodded thoughtfully. "I will see what I can do, my friend. But I must take my leave now."
"Wait! You're leaving now? Going back to Asgard?"
"Aye, SHIELD has instructed me to leave. They..." Thor paused, a regretful look passing through his features. "...do not seem to trust me with Loki here."
Now Bucky felt like a complete shit. It was because of him, he knew. Because Thor had let him in to see Loki. "Was it bad? Did you get in much trouble?
"I believe they knew I would do it. Fury was not surprised, but I saw the disappointment. I did not enjoy seeing it. Loki did not escape, nor did he hurt anyone." Bucky scoffed at his words, knowing full well Loki had hurt him deeply. "Apart from you, I mean to say. I know he caused you pain, and I regret that. But he did not injure anyone, so I have been forgiven. As long as I take Loki back to Asgard now."
"Will you take me?" Bucky asked, tentatively because he feared Thor's answer.
"I cannot take you at this time. SHIELD will not allow it, nor will my father." Thor saw Bucky's hopeful expression fall, so he quickly added, "I will speak with my father as soon as I have the chance, and will ask him to allow me to return for you." Thor stepped to Bucky and placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "Do not lose hope, Bucky."
Bucky bit back tears, so sick of crying. He nodded, but did not trust himself to speak. Thor squeezed his shoulder gently before stepping away and leaving the room. Bucky sat down heavily on a sofa, and put his head in his hands. He was at a complete loss as to what to do now.
No more than a minute passed, however, when the door to his room opened, and Steve walked in.
"Hey, buddy," his old friend said, walking to the couch and sitting next to Bucky. "I thought you might want to get something to eat."
"Yeah," Bucky agreed without really even hearing. He took a deep breath and turned to Steve, focusing now. "Yeah, food sounds good. I'm starving."
Bucky was almost out of the room before a thought stopped him dead in his tracks. His dog tags. He hadn't seen them since they were put back into his hands. "Steve, did you see my tags? I had them in-" He was about to say the name, but he couldn't bear to right then. "-in the cell, but I think I dropped them."
Steve shook his head. "Sorry, I didn't see them. We can ask around to see if anyone found them okay?" Bucky nodded, and followed Steve out of the room.
-ooooooooooooooooo-
The smirk came out on it's own. Loki wasn't even aware of it, not that he would have stopped it if he had been. His anger had taken over fully, and he was no longer thinking rationally. It felt good, like putting on an old worn in shirt. Familiar, and therefore comfortable. And a hell of a lot easier to handle than all that despair. Seeing Bucky's face turning crimson as he struggled to breathe against Loki's strong grip, it pleased him. How dare this mortal defy him, call him out on a lie? So what if it was? Loki was certainly no stranger to lying. And this lie, that he did not need Bucky, was one he desperately had to believe.
"Maybe I should just kill you. Would that convince you?" he growled out. He didn't know whether or not he could actually make good on that threat, and the fact that he might be able to rattled him to his core. He didn't want Bucky dead. Did he? Loki dropped Bucky like a fire had burned his hand and retreated to the far side of the room, but not before smirking at the sputtering human. So fragile. So easily broken.
Except Bucky wasn't broken. He got up fighting, which surprised Loki. He didn't show it though. What he needed now was to get the human out of here. Away from him. It was the only way to stop this infernal emotion that kept inching it's way out from the deepest part of his heart. Hope. Hope would destroy Loki, if he let himself embrace it again. Destroy him much more thoroughly than that green beast had done. No, he needed Bucky out of his sight and the infuriating creature just would not leave.
Reminding Bucky that there was nothing for him here, Loki leaned his head back against the cool glass, and with the movement, felt the chain that lay around his neck. An idea began to form, but Bucky's words stopped it cold.
"Loki. You are not nothing. I know why you're saying that. You don't think you're worth anything. But you're wrong. You're everything. To me."
Loki watched Bucky closely, eyes narrowed, studying. Hearing the words, but not wanting to let them in. They got in anyway. As he kept talking, each word began to feel like weighted ropes laid across his shoulders, burdening him, threatening to buckle his knees.
No! Loki shrugged off the effects of Bucky's words. They were meaningless sentiment and Loki hated sentiment.
"You have no idea. You do not know what I am. I am not the same man you met all that time ago." Loki said, though he couldn't bring himself to look at the other.
"Because you're a Frost Giant?"
When Bucky called him that hateful thing, it made his blood run cold. Ironic, he knew and he couldn't help but to gawk at the man, at a loss for words. How did Bucky know? He knew what Loki was, and he was still here? Did that mean...
"Thor told me." The mention of Thor's name tore Loki out of that dangerous line of thought. No, it didn't mean anything, other than Bucky didn't understand what a Frost Giant was. The human was speaking of things he knew nothing about, which meant he knew nothing about Loki. Bucky claimed to love him, but his claim was just words, with no truth behind them. Loki surged towards him, raging about how very little this man knew of him, filling him in on the sordid details, until he was towering above the shorter man. Still Bucky did not cower, or retreat.
Hurting him physically did not help. Lashing him with his words wasn't making him leave either. Loki knew what he had to do to show Bucky what he truly was. Only then would he leave. First, a warning: "I am a monster, in every sense of the word." He reached up and took off Bucky's dog tags from around his neck and dropped them into the human's hands. Then, the final blow: "As I said, I have nothing for you. So get out."
Loki watched in satisfaction as the fragile little mortal crumpled to the ground before him. Suddenly, shouts and commotion from the entrance to the room made him stumble back. SHIELD agents swarmed into the room and into the cell and grabbed him roughly, throwing him up against the glass wall. The breath was knocked out of him, but he wouldn't have struggled anyway. He allowed the men to press their limbs and their guns into him, relishing the physical pain. Physical pain overwhelmed the chaos in his head, and was much easier to deal with.
From the angle he was forced into, he could see Bucky struggling with Steve. Seeing him holding Bucky against his will ignited an almost primal urge to hurt the captain. He forgot himself for a second and reared back with a snarl against the men holding him. They were knocked a little off balance by the sudden movement from their until then docile captive, but they recovered and Loki got nowhere but crushed harder into the glass. An elbow pressed painfully into his back, and he let out a breathless, bitter laugh at himself.
"No!" Bucky shouted from the other room. Loki lost sight of the human as he ran back into the cell. The arm pressed into his neck prevented him from turning, but he didn't need to see what was happening. The sounds of even more agents rushing him and carrying the human back out of the cell told the story well enough.
"Loki! Loki, I'm sorry! Please don't give up. Don't give up on me. I'll find a way to get to you. Don't..." The raw emotion in Bucky's plea was a dagger, and it sliced right through Loki's defenses, wounding him. He watched helplessly as Bucky was led out of the room, no longer feeling smug satisfaction at seeing him so broken. In fact, he couldn't feel much of anything, and he sagged against the glass. Everything seemed to move in slow motion. The agents backed away and started filing out, leaving him where he stood, their guns drawn and threats given to ensure he didn't move. He didn't. Not until the door slid shut again, and then it was just to slide down to the floor. Another pair of thugs stood guard near the door, but Loki paid them no mind.
Well, this was what he had wanted. Bucky was gone. Nothing to hope for anymore, right? He should be happy. He should at least feel righteous anger. Why did he feel so...empty? With a sigh, Loki leaned his forehead into the cool glass and shut his eyes. He expected the voices to start up, congratulating him with leering false sincerity about how he had accomplished his goal so well. But the only thing he heard now was Bucky's plea echoing over and over.
Even after everything Loki had thrown at him, Bucky hadn't given up. Why not? He had to have known by now what he'd done with the Chitauri. What else did he know? Just how much was Bucky willing to forgive? Suddenly Loki was wishing for another chance to talk to Bucky. That will never happen. You've made sure of it this time. Loki groaned, not really surprised to hear it this time.
Making a determined effort to ignore everything going on inside his head, Loki rose to his feet and went to recline on the bench. Something caught his eye, on the floor underneath it and he bent down to pick it up. Ah, Bucky's dog tags. He must have dropped them as they took him out. Loki sighed as he squeezed his hand around the familiar metal pieces. He had intended to be free of this cursed thing, free from the temptation. Loki stood frozen, gazing down at his hand, unsure of what to do. His head told him to throw the damn thing across the room and never look at it again. But his heart wanted to put the chain back around his neck where it belonged and never take it off again.
In the end, he just curled up on his side on the bench, which was flat and hard, but Loki had laid down on worse things before. With the chain concealed in his hand, and his hand under his head as a makeshift pillow, Loki closed his eyes. His head was blissfully silent for once, and sleep started to take hold quickly. As he drifted into unconsciousness, more asleep than awake, the image of Bucky's smiling face flitted through his head. Loki fell asleep with a matching grin on his.