Chapter 23 Mindless chatter

Iziah;

I had no idea what the hell I was doing, I was down on same street that I had avoided for almost six whole years, I figured that if I could walk down the street and past the alley without shaking or breaking down, then maybe I could move on or at least stop having nightmares. I got onto the street and just stood on the corner, waiting for my courage to kick in. Steadily I put one steel capped boot in front of the other, I could totally do this, it was just walking down the street right? The same street where everything changed and everything became living in a wide awake nightmare. Shaking it off, I kept walking right until I just reached the alley, I didn't want to walk past it incase something bad happened.

"Hey good looking!"

I looked and wished I hadn't, why is it that every where I am, right behind me is John fucking Cena, seriously its like he's stalking me. Something I could do without FYI. He stopped in front of me, window rolled down as though I was some hooker he was trying to make a deal with. "Wanna lift Izzy?"

I ignored him, I wasn't sure what annoyed me more, the fact that he was interrupting my self healing, or the fact that he called me Izzy, I didn't give him that permission, at least I can't recall any time that I had. Fat drops burst down on me, it took seconds and everything went out of control, soaking wet, skin hitting skin, my body moving without my reconition, the wet drops stopped and instead I leaning against black leather. It took me a moment or two to realise that I was in the car with moron number one.

"What the hell man, what the hell?"

"You're soaked Izzy, I couldn't let you stand out in the rain"

I ignored him again and looked out the window, I was so close to walking past the alley, so close to self healing, maybe I wasn't meant to heal, maybe I wasn't meant to feel whole again, maybe, just maybe, God wanted me to stay in this personal hell of torment. Fuck that and fuck God, he can kiss the fattest part of my delicious ass. One way or another I would feel whole again, and nothing and no one was gonna stop that. Not even the almighty jackass himself.

"You ok? You're shaking" John said softly pulling me back to the here and now, I hated him and yet here I was sittin in his car.

"Yeah." And yet I didn't make any move to get out, the rain had stopped but for how long I wasn't sure. Other things started to get to me right now, the warmth in the car, the fact that I noticed that he had muscle everywhere, I was pretty sure if his pretty blue eyes could flex they would have muscle too. I had spent the last six years kicking any male that came anywhere near me, and yet because I wasn't busy shoving my fist somewhere between his lungs and colon, I realised that he smelled amazing, I probably shouldn't go around smelling people, but if I had too I wouldn't mind smelling him. Shake it off girl, you cannot go around smelling John fucking Cena, he would get a right kick outta that, I'm sure.

"Iziah are you sure you're ok? You've gone really pale and stuff"

I finally looked at him, strange thing right now? I actually didn't feel like punching him, no violent feelings at all, just wanting to sit here and...I don't know, but hurting him just didn't seem like an option, at least not right now. "As if you care" Had to put the mask back on, couldn't let anyone know that I had some sort of warmth in my cold veins.

"I care alot more than you think"

It hung in the air, it was meant to be something I didn't hear, but I heard it and it vibrated in my skull and now I wanted to punch him, he wasn't allowed to care about my feelings because we all know I didn't a give a rats ass about his. If I did, maybe I wouldn't have murder dreams about him, maybe I wouldn't of slammed his hand in the lockers with intent to harm. I couldn't adress anything right now, not when I had other crap to do.

"If you're done sprouting off crap that don't exsist like feelings, can you give me a ride?"

Why did I like that smirk? So...sexy. No. It wasn't sexy, it was annoying and it needed to punched right off his face. "And why would I do that?"

I like how he sank back into himself when I looked at him, he was bigger than me and if he was the jerk that hit women he could've taken me, but my wrath had been made known, especially my wrath against him. "Because if you don't I will" "Chill girl!" He laughed making confusion spill every which way, even his laugh made me re-think things about him. "Where too?"

I didn't say anything because I had no idea where I wanted to go, I just wanted to move the hell away from the alley.

"Izzy?" He pressed gently, he moved his hand to touch me but at the last second thought better of it.

My eyes were drawn across the street, another young girl skipping to the store for lollies or whatever it was that young girls liked these days. She was about eleven with soft brown hair, I reconized her, she was friends with Emma, Leslie something. I used to baby-sit her and Emma back in the day. Now I knew where to go but watching Leslie wonder in the store I wondered if people in this town were plain stupid or just didn't care. Leslie called out to someone impatiently and thankfully her brother caught up to her. I knew it was her brother because, well it was another guy that I had to kick the crap out of and in the process got my arm broken.

"John can you give me a ride home?"

He switched on the ignition and started to drive off, it wasn't a long long ride but sure felt like it especially because no one said anything, and because I was used to driving with a maniac, FYI do not ever get into a car with Raven especially if you value your life. "So will you?" John asked, when the hell did he ask me a fucking question?

"Will I what?" Eyes forward and keeping every inch of my body away from his, I didn't want to feel his skin on mine but I wasn't so sure about that.

"Go on a date with me?" John asked again as he pulled up outside my house, thankfully no one was about.

"Thanks for the ride but I'm still gonna say no, I don't date people I dislike, I'm weird like that"

"Dislike?" Another sexy-as grin "I thought it was hate?"

"It can go back that way if you really want it too"

"I'll take dislike, get into some dry clothes, wouldn't want you gettin sick now"

I watched him drive away until he was a red dot, when I knew he was gone and no one was watching me I crossed the street and over to Emma's. Self healing would begin with a conversation that I wasn't sure I was even ready for.

A/N Oooh! Wanna know what happens? Continue on readin good people!