Hello Everyone! So Glad that Grey's is back although I'm not liking the Idea of less Japril scenes. Anyway, I hope you enjoy the 8th chapter and that you continue to leave a review. I look forward to hearing from you all.

It's even louder in the silence and it's always the same

The darkness always finds me when I hear your name

It should have been me and I want you to know

That I'll hold you in my heart and I won't let go

Just take away this sorrow it's too much to bear

Drifting from your memory. I'm lost, lost without your love

-Killswitch Engage

"Jackson I'm here," April breathed softly in his ear finding her hand positioned just above the bandage that was wrapped securely around his head.

She gently stroked the length of his skull with her fingertips making it a point to stay away from the wound that remained cloaked underneath the bandages. Her eyes quickly assessed his injuries taking note of the fractured fibula in his left calf and the bruising to his rib cage that was notably wrapped with medical gauze. Those injuries were minor in comparison to the damage he'd sustained to the temporal lobe of his brain.

It worried her that the damage to his skull had been so severe, however she was confident in the repairs her colleagues had diligently executed under the presumption that Jackson would not have made it through. "You're going to be fine, you know." She began finding it hard to produce a genuine smile.

She understood the depth of his injuries and as a doctor she knew better than to expect a miracle in situations like these. Still, she had to be positive if not for her own sanity than for Jackson. She knew him better than anyone and he would have wanted her in his corner despite their preceding woes.

"I'm sorry for earlier, she continued… I don't know what I was thinking. I... You were right; there's no denying the history between us. I should have listened to you Jackson and maybe none of this would have happened."

She somehow expected him to open his beautiful bluish green eyes and convince her that none of it mattered anymore, that he was grateful that when he needed her the most she had been right by his side as she belonged.

"Everything's going to be ok April," he'd say to her and then he'd smile as if life had been good to him.

He'd wrap his arms around her and let her rest her head on his chest while he ran his fingers through her fiery tinted mane. She felt a tear escape her eyelid finding a new home in the center of her palm. It wouldn't be long before its followers plummeted behind it soon settling wherever they would fall. She'd come so close to never seeing him again, to never gazing into his gorgeous eyes, or seeing him smile again. Jackson had an infectious smile; it was so perfect and coupled with his given charm and good looks it was almost impossible to forget.

She gazed wistfully at the plastic surgeon hoping that she could will him back to her with just the twinkle of her eye. She stared at him long enough that her eyes began to hurt, stinging at the corners as a result from squinting. She gently rubbed her eyes with her balled fist feeling a little exasperated that she had not been able to wake him.

"Open your eyes." she demanded overwhelmed with grief and of regret that she had dismissed his plea of reconciliation. She basically told him that she didn't trust him but in actuality she didn't know if she could trust herself to be alone with Jackson. Her feelings for him were so confusing at times; when they were alone together it almost seemed impossible to resist the natural hold he had on her. It would be so easy to fall back into his arms and his bed as if nothing had ever changed. She glanced at the monitors that beeped on average every two to three seconds, which meant his BP and heart rate were continuously changing.

She felt a rush of emotion hit her like a tidal wave washing over her body as she wept over his still frame. He'd been out of surgery for ten hours, thirty-two minutes, and sixteen seconds; she knew this because she hadn't been able to pull her eyes away from the clock that hung above Jackson's hospital bed ever since. The ticking sound of the second hand making its way around the clock was a constant- ticking, ticking, and ticking as time went on. She was sure she was going to pull her hair out if one more second went by that Jackson was not awake.

"JACKSON WAKE UP," her voice carried throughout the hospital room and out into the hall. She had no business yelling at the man, especially since he was not around to come to his defense. Somehow her hands had found themselves grasping at the collar of his hospital gown unable to let go.

"What in the hell do you think you're doing?"

Stephanie was standing in the doorway-her hands on her hip. There was enough aggression in her voice to deduce that she was mad as hell and that April was the focus of such anger.

"I'm sorry did I do something wrong?" asked April as she gently released her hands from Jackson's gown and placed them down to her sides.

She knew the answer to this question and she was already regretting asking such a stupid thing. Clearly in the eyes of Jackson's pregnant girlfriend April must have seemed like the bitch that was standing in the way of her relationship. Jackson had practically been fawning over her ever since she left her home in Moline and returned to Seattle. In fact Stephanie would have never stood a chance with the Avery alumni had April not pushed him to escort someone else to Bailey's wedding.

"How dare you put your hands on Jackson like that? He's got enough bruises and doesn't need any others because you, good doctor, can't keep your hands to yourself."

"It wasn't like that at all. I care about Jackson; I would never do anything to hurt him."

April stood up from Jackson's hospital bed and joined Stephanie just outside the hall. Although Jackson was not awake, she didn't want to risk him overhearing whatever this was between her and Stephanie. She could sense the hostility that Stephanie had towards her and she knew this would definitely impact their working relationship. The girl hated her.

"You broke his heart April. Look at him. He's lying in this bed with no intent to wake up and I don't blame him. Who I do blame is you. You could have had it all. Jackson, your surgical career, and family. You could have had everything you could have ever dreamed of."

"I don't think you understand. Jackson and I are only friends. That's all."

"It was more than that. Everyone knows that you two had sex all over this hospital last year and when Jackson wanted more you were too foolish to see how great he was. Instead you threw it all away."

April felt her airway narrow at the sound of her words. As much as she wanted to deny it all, the truth wouldn't allow her to tell another lie. Stephanie was exactly right about her. She did end things with Jackson the minute she realized that his feelings for her were real and the mind blowing sex they had been having was no longer just that. Sex. He told her he was falling in love with her and instead of taking him in her arms and telling him she was in love with him too, she didn't say anything at all.

"You broke your promise to Jesus and you made sure Jackson understood that it was all his fault. It amazes me that he was able to put up with your craziness all that time. I just hope the paramedic understands what he's getting into marrying you," Stephanie continued glaring into her superior's pain stricken eyes. She could tell she had hit a nerve with the good doctor and she couldn't stop the corners of her mouth from turning into a wicked grin.

"Ok Dr. Edwards you are way out of line. My personal life is none of your business."

"No of course it isn't, but Jackson's the father of my baby and who he chooses to keep company with is my business."

"What are you saying? Are you threatening me?" April asked hesitantly dropping her gaze from the intern's eyes.

"If that's what you want to call it. Jackson has been through so much in his life and he doesn't need you screwing with him."

"Stephanie this is not your decision to make."

The trauma surgeon had had enough of the younger and less experienced doctor's allegations and irrational demands. How could she expect her to just walk away from the one person that understood her best, who knew that she liked her toast burnt around the edges, who knew that she preferred two shots of espresso and one sugar in her latte, who knew that she had a secret obsession for cheesy 80's movies? Jackson knew everything there was to know about Dr. April Kepner including her unspoken trade in farming. She never spoke of her life back in Moline, but with Jackson she could talk for hours about her family and her animal friends back on the farm. She had even named her favorite calf after him, Avery she called him because he was the closest thing to a best friend she had when she was fired from the hospital and forced to move back home.

"The hell it isn't. You will stay away from Jackson." Stephanie hissed- the grin that once was parting from her face.

April longingly peered into Jackson's room identifying with the pain he must have felt when she pushed him away. He wanted her. She wanted him. Why wasn't that enough? She looked at the intern whose face was emotionless and at that moment she could feel nothing but pity for the young surgeon. She had so much potential to be an outstanding surgeon, but she was so wrapped up behind a man that didn't want her to see it. Jackson would never be with a woman like her; her insecurities controlled her life and because of that her decision making suffered.

"Dr. Edwards I have really enjoyed mentoring you while you've been on my service. You have the potential to be an amazing trauma surgeon and I hate that we will no longer be working together."

Stephanie appeared to be baffled by the sudden change in conversation. Work had been the furthest thing from her mind, and she hadn't fully thought out that by telling her attending that she should stay away from someone that she cared about would jeopardize her career as a future trauma surgeon. She loved Trauma, she loved that she had to make split decisions and that someone's life depended on her every move. It was thrilling and she was sure that Trauma was going to be her specialty.

"What you… wait… you can't do that," Stephanie stammered feeling less confident now that the woman she despised most was holding all of the cards.

"Oh yes, yes I can. Dr. Edwards as of today you are no longer on my service, and just so you know Jackson will never forgive you for this."

"Oh yeah well he'll never know about this," Stephanie screamed at April as she watched her walk away from her."

"Everything comes out in the end, and this is no different," April warned before exiting down the hall and into the waiting area where her friends were all waiting for her.

"How is he?" Callie asked giving her friend a comforting embrace.

She had not operated on him because she had been in the middle of a routine hip replacement when Jackson had been rushed to the ER. She knew of his prognosis and was certain that he would pull through. Chief Hunt and Dr. Sheppard had done an excellent job with his repairs and despite the significant amount of blood loss, Jackson had shown that he was a true fighter.

"He's fine. He still isn't awake."

"And you, are you ok?" Callie asked sincerely holding the fellow doctor's hand.

"It just ticks and ticks and the more it ticks the more time passes by. I can't ignore it, it's there in the back of my head pestering me to the point that I just want to break. He needs to wake up. Callie he just has to wake up," said April her eyes again locked on the clock in the waiting area.

The orthopedic surgeon wrapped her arm around her inconsolable best friend and allowed her to rest her head on her shoulder. She could see that Jackson's condition was eating April alive and it was obvious that this was a woman that loved him. She knew this feeling all too well because she had experienced it after the plane crash, when she thought she was going to lose the love of her life.

"He's going to wake up and when he does you are going to have to tell this man how you truly feel."

"Callie I think you have the wrong idea."

"You love him April. You are in love with Jackson Avery and I don't think you've ever stopped loving him," Callie insinuated hopeful that she was right about April and Jackson.

"Callie it is not that simple. I…. I'm engaged and I love Matthew. He's everything I've wished for in a man."

"Ok so Matthew's like a dream come true, but are you in love with him? Is he the first person you think about when you wake up in the morning and the last when you are alone at night?"

April knew she couldn't agree with that one. Sure she thought of Matthew on occasion, but not nearly enough. He was her fiancé and believe it or not he treated her like she was the only woman in the world for him. Sadly, she didn't deserve to have a man that perfect. Her infatuation for her ex best friend had proven to be detrimental to her relationship with her fiancé.

"Callie enough with the third degree," said April rubbing her swollen eyes.

She had been crying for most of the night and she was relieved that she was now all cried out. Alex entered the waiting area carrying two coffees in hand probably courtesy of the hospital's barista. Alex had been with her at Joe's when she had received the call that Jackson had been in an accident. He had been so great, comforting her as best as he could.

"Here," he said simply taking a seat beside the red head.

"Thanks," she said with a weakened smile. "How are you holding up?" Alex was Jackson's best friend and although she knew the tough guy persona he liked everyone to believe was him would never admit to feeling anything at all, she knew he cared a great deal about the plastic surgeon.

"I'm fine, I'm just glad he made it out of surgery ok."

"Good. It's great that you're here to show your support for Jackson. He needs all of his friends and family by his side if he's going to recover."

Alex nodded his head before letting it sink in his hands. He was exhausted having stayed up all night waiting for news of Jackson's condition. He should have been there operating, helping him somehow instead of sitting idly by while his best friends life hung in the balance. He felt a warm hand trickle down the curve of his back; he knew it belonged to April and was actually smitten by her compassion.

"So no coffee for me Karev?" Callie asked ridding the heavy silence that stood over them.

"No it kinda slipped my mind. I didn't know the ball crusher herself was going to be here," Alex griped through clenched teeth.

He was still reeling over that unfortunate incident in the locker room all those weeks ago and if he had his way, the lovely Latina would be all but singing his praises. Too bad his buddy Jackson wasn't able to appreciate his plans for revenge.

"Ha. That's the funniest thing I've heard all day. Then again crushing your balls was the ballsiest thing I've done in a while and I have no regrets," Callie teased the younger surgeon.

"Callie," April shrieked appalled by her friends choice words. Now was not the time to argue and bicker when Jackson was lying in a hospital bed just down the hall unresponsive.

"Its Ok April. I don't give a damn about anything Dr. Torres has to say, and I really don't know how Arizona puts up with all her CRAP," Alex announced avoiding eye contact with the orthopedic surgeon.

"Ok I am going to kill him," Callie shrieked reaching over April to take a swing at the arrogant pediatric surgeon. Alex jumped out of his seat just barely missing Callie's strong arm only to bump into Dr. Sheppard after taking a few steps back.

"What is going on here?" Derrick questioned taking in the scene of two fellow surgeons who had been just about to throw their careers away.

"I'm sorry Dr. Sheppard, everything is under control," said April.

"Control. You all are Doctors. Doctors do not behave like this especially not in public."

"Derrick you're right. I should have never let this idiot get to me," Callie explained picking up her belongings and heading for the exit. "April please call me if his condition changes."

"Of course," April agreed still flustered from the catastrophe that had taken place between Alex and Callie.

She turned her attention to her former mentor who seemed like he had something big on his mind. Maybe it was Jackson; he could have taken a turn for the worse or just maybe he had good news to share. She hoped it was the latter.

"Are you hear to update us on Jackson's condition?" April asked.

"Dr. Karev do you mind if I speak to Dr. Kepner alone?"

"Why? Has something happened to Avery?" Alex inquired- his face revealing a glimpse of anguish for fear that something had gone terribly wrong with his best friend.

"No. He's awake and he's going to be just fine. I just need to discuss a few things with Dr. Kepner if you don't mind giving us a little privacy."

April couldn't stop herself from jumping up and down after hearing that Jackson was awake. She had spent hours waiting for him to open his eyes and come back to her. She was so excited that she couldn't stop herself from jumping into Alex's arms to share a gripping hug with the Ped's surgeon.

"Whoa," said Alex in response to April's impulsive gift of affection. "Ok I'm going to get out of here and let you two do your thing."

The pair acknowledged his departure briefly with a simple nod from Dr. Sheppard and a warming smile from the trauma surgeon. She was really appreciative of Alex's support and she would have never made it through this night if she had had to do it alone. She could have called Matthew but she was afraid that he wouldn't understand her motives for being there.

"So he's awake. When can I see him?"

"Soon. He's already asking for you."

"That's great, so then what exactly did you need to talk to me about?" April asked uncertain of Derrick's need to talk to her in private. It seemed as if Jackson was going to be fine so what else did they have to discuss.

"Jackson suffered a lot of damage to his skull. He underwent major brain surgery and sometimes there are risks, after effects."

"Oh no what functions has he lost. Has his speech been affected, is he going to be a paraplegic?"

"April there was a significant amount of swelling in his brain and all of those things that you mentioned could have been a possibility, but Jackson has not experienced any of them."

"Then what is the problem Dr. Sheppard?"

"He's a little confused. His memories are all jumbled up and he doesn't remember everything as they should be. April you need to prepare yourself before you go in to see him."

"Derrick I don't understand. What is he confused about?" April asked.

"April he thinks you're his fiancé."