Hello everyone. This was uploaded using my mobile device so please excuse any grammatical errors. My computer is fried and I am in the process of finding a replacement. Thanks again to your continued support. As always please review. I am not very happy with this chapter.

Chapter Nine

She was in shock. Her best friend had been in a horrific car accident and nearly lost his life. So what if he was a little confused; he had survived a trauma that so many others had not. She couldn't imagine her life without him in it and the thought of him lying cold and lifeless in the hospital morgue was enough to bring her to tears. She reminded herself that she didn't need to shed another tear, at least not on Jackson's behalf. He was going to be fine. Dr. Sheppard assured her that he would have full mobility of his limbs and speech. There was no reason he wouldn't be the same Jackson she had always known him to be. She didn't even know why she felt the slightest bit of uncertainty, Jackson was a fighter and he had a strong team of doctors on his side who were prepared to do anything to save his life.

"Dr. Kepner aren't you going to say something," Dr. Sheppard inquired taking note of the vibrant shade of red her cheeks now wore.

April a little flustered took her seat before she spoke. "I hope you don't mind that I sit down."

"No of course not," he replied taking a seat right next to her. He understood how the younger surgeon must have felt. He was almost certain that she was subconsciously trying to find a solution for Jackson's condition.

"How is this possible? Why would he believe we were engaged?" she asked aware that Dr. Sheppard might not have all the answers that she needed to rationalize this dilemma.

"April he's suffered some memory loss as a result of the trauma his brain sustained from the accident. Yes he remembers who he is and the people in his life, but from what I can tell he's lost all memory within the last 8-9 months."

Nine months ago April had returned to Seattle after Owen had flown all the way to Moline to rehire her in person. She hadn't the courage to say no although a part of her wanted to stick it to the chief for not only letting her down when she needed his knowledge, his training, and his support to prepare for the boards, but because he had fired her when she had put everything she had to offer into her career at the hospital. She was a doctor, a damn good one at that and she didn't need a panel of old snobs who were one surgery away from retiring to validate her ability to perform.

Jackson had been the one person she was most excited to see, although a part of her was terrified that he wouldn't want to speak to her again. They had left things in a weird place. He was supposed to be embarking on a new career at Tulane and she was headed back home despite her best efforts to stay. "Give me a reason not to leave," she had asked the green-eyed man who stood before her in the center of the airport terminal. Her best friend was leaving to work for another hospital, she had been fired, and she had no place to go but home where she could only hope to mend the scars that Seattle had left her with. As she stood there waiting for the plastic surgeon to say something she knew she would have done anything he asked of her. He was the best and the worst thing that had ever happened to her and she didn't want to say goodbye. She hated Goodbyes.

"You weren't at Joe's? Were you ever there?" he sneered.

"No I didn't have time to", April began but was interrupted by the sound of Jackson's rigid voice.

"It doesn't matter. Mark's dying."

April couldn't believe what she was hearing. She had just seen the older plastic surgeon before she left the hospital and he was back to his old tricks, flirting with the nurses and groping every woman who came near him. He was a law suit just waiting to happen, but no one had seemed to mind his inappropriate behavior.

"He was doing fine. His Bp and heart rate were normal," April confirmed in disbelief that in a matter of hours Mark's condition had deteriorated.

He was such an important person to Jackson; he had been not only a mentor to the younger plastic surgeon but he had been a friend. He was the reason Jackson had even the courage to rush to the airport in time to stop the love of his life from leaving unbeknownst to her.

"It was that damn surge. I can't believe I thought it was the real thing. I think he wants to die Apes. I think he wants to die and be with Lexie and I don't know what to say or do to change his mind," Jackson revealed feeling down on himself.

"Jackson you can't change his mind. If he doesn't want to fight then all we can do is be there for him and make him comfortable," April said warmly placing her hand on his shoulder.

He had come here to convince April that he loved her and that he needed her to stay with him, but all that he could talk about was Mark. What was wrong with him? He knew he didn't have much time before she had to board her flight, but he didn't feel brave now. He was afraid.

"Last call to board flight 2312 to Ohio," the flight attendant announced over the intercom. April grabbed her carry-on bag from the floor and swung it over her shoulder.

"That's me. I guess this is goodbye," she whispered softly while staring into the eyes of the man she loved.

Jackson smiled back at her painfully aware that if he let her leave now, he would never see her again. She would be living over a thousand miles away from his new home in Tulane and though he could argue that a thousand miles really wasn't that far, he knew that a long distance relationship was not what he wanted.

"Goodbye Apes," he answered taking hold of her and allowing her body to mold into his. She pressed her cheek against the side of his neck and the smell of her hair, strawberry fragrant, aroused him in a way that was all too familiar to him. He just wanted to keep her there, in his arms if only forever was within his grasp.

She broke their embrace taking a moment to look into his eyes. Her eyes were weary and moist from the tears that drizzled down her face, and her lips were pursed as if she wished to speak.

"Ask me to stay Jackson."

"April," he muttered unable to say anything else.

This was it. This was his chance to tell her that he was in love with her that he could not fathom the idea of being away from her, that she was his best friend and he needed her. She had given him every indication that she would say yes, but somehow he couldn't find the words to say.

"Ask me," she said once more this time with more desperation in her voice.

"April I can't."

She looked at him longingly fighting the urge to run into his arms and plant sweet nothings on his lips. She didn't want to walk away, and she knew he didn't want her to either. So why wouldn't he just say it?

"Jackson, please," she pleaded giving up the last bit of dignity she had left.

He couldn't do it. He couldn't ask her to be with him in Tulane or Seattle for that matter because there was a plane. A plane that was going to take her back to Moline- back to the farm she grew up on, and back to the family she'd always kept close to her heart. She was broken and he knew he was not the person that could fix her. She needed her family now, and so he had to let her go.

"April you need to get on that plane, your family is expecting you." April looked at him with pleading eyes; eyes that made him want to do everything he could to see her smile again. He could tell she was expecting more of a fight from him but he couldn't fight for her. He was a lot more broken then she was; Lexie had left his heart in pieces and he had never fully recovered from it.

"I understand," she said with a slight nod of her head before walking away from the plastic surgeon. She smiled at him effortlessly ignoring the overwhelming grief she felt. It was like she was ending the biggest chapter in her life and she couldn't stand it. "Goodbye Jackson," she breathed to herself as she prepared to board the plane.

"April have you heard a word I've said," Derrick questioned observing the blank expression that held the trauma surgeon's face.

"I'm sorry Dr. Sheppard. This is just a lot to wrap my head around. I don't know how I'm going to explain to him that we are not engaged and that I'm marrying someone else. I don't want to hurt him.

"You're not," Derrick insisted. "He has to come to terms with his memories himself or else it could do a great deal of damage to his psyche."

April leaned her head against the neck of the chair she had been sitting in and slowly ran her fingers through her tousled hair.

"Derrick are you asking what I think you're asking."

"I know this isn't a conservative approach, but Jackson's brain is highly vulnerable right now and the littlest bit of truth could send him into a downward spiral. If you care about him Dr. Kepner you will do this."

"Derrick you are asking me to pretend that I am engaged to another man and ignore the fact that I have a wonderful fiancé of my own who will more than likely be against this little charade."

The neurosurgeon sternly grabbed her hand.

"You will do this April not because I'm asking you to, but because you love Jackson enough to do this for him. You will make your fiancé understand that you had no other choice and you will do this Dr. Kepner," said Derrick his voice taking on a more serious tone.

This was insane. Total insanity and she knew Matthew would be furious with her for agreeing to do this, but what choice did she have.

"How long?" the trauma surgeon regretfully asked.

"Days, Weeks, Maybe even a couple of months. It's hard to tell in patients suffering from this type of amnesia."

"Months. Derrick what about his pregnant girlfriend? Jackson would never forgive himself if he missed even a day of Stephanie's pregnancy," April cried her eyes frantic with worry.

Things were complicated between the trauma surgeon and her pupil, ex pupil now that she had kicked her off her service. Stephanie had proven to be a bit of a fire-ball and she didn't want to complicate things further between her and the intern. "Does she know?"

"Yes she does," he answered privy to the fact that Dr. Edwards did not fancy the older more neurotic trauma surgeon. "She's devastated but she understands the importance of Jackson regaining his own memories on his own time. She's on board for now."

"Ok well that's a relief, but what about his position on the board?"

"Already taken care of, Catherine is going to step in until Jackson is ready to come back to work. She wants to help out in every way that she can," the neurosurgeon explained.

"Jackson's mom, does she know of my involvement?" April probed a little frightened by the notion that her most favorite urologist could know the nature of her relationship with Jackson. She had worked so hard to keep their relationship hidden from his mother, and it would be devastating if Mrs. Avery ever knew the truth.

"Yes she's been briefed and not to worry she agrees with my plan for treatment," Derrick stated reassuringly.

"So am I the only one who thinks this is a bad idea? What happens if he doesn't remember? What then? Am I supposed to uproot my life and run off my fiancé to play make-believe with Jackson?"

"April that is not my intention, I think you know that. Give it a few weeks at the least and if his memory hasn't returned then I will tell him the truth myself."

"Ok I will do it but I have to tell my fiancé first," the red-head announced deciding to take a sip of the coffee Alex had bought for her earlier.

"That's understandable. Talk it out with your fiancé and when you're ready Jackson will be waiting for you."

The dark-haired surgeon stood up from where he was sitting and made his departure leaving April alone to wallow in her thoughts. Once alone April sat down her coffee container on the end table beside her and buried her face in her hands. She was devastated, exhausted, and nearly insane with grief over Jackson's condition. The worst part was she didn't exactly loathe the idea of becoming the plastic surgeon's fake fiancé. It was an opportunity for her to rebuild a friendship with the green-eyed surgeon and she just hoped she could get by without indulging in any intimate pleasures.

"Dear God who am I kidding," she regretfully stated unaware that Matthew had entered the waiting room.

He was standing in the doorway of the waiting area dressed in uniform peering over the crowd of families in search of his special someone. She hadn't come over last night after the fiasco at Joe's and this morning when he had gotten a call from Callie that she had been at the hospital all night because Jackson Avery had been in an accident; he rushed over. Although it pained him that she had not given a single thought to call him, he was here now and he had to make sure she was ok. He finally spotted her sitting towards the back enslaved in her own tears and made his way over to her.

"Hey," he said simply greeting her with a warm smile.

She looked up at him with swollen eyes surprised to see him there.

"Matthew what are you doing here?" she asked between sobs trying to wipe the tears from her face.

"Callie told me what happened. Are you alright?"

"Not really. Jackson was hit by a car last night after he left Joe's and he's suffered a considerable amount of damage to his brain," she explained afraid to tell him the worst part in all of this. She knew she had to tell him and there was no easy way to say that she would be pretending to be Jackson's fiancé.

"April, I'm so sorry. I wish you had called me and I would have been here sooner." Matthew took a seat next to the red-head and placed his arm protectively around her shoulders. "What can I do to make things better?" he asked feeling helpless to her needs.

"You could be sympathetic," she said taking this moment as a chance to tell him the truth in its entirety.

"Of course sweetheart, what's wrong?"

"Jackson has retrograde amnesia and he has lost all memory of everything within the last eight months. He's confused and he's created this idea that he and I are engaged."

"What," Matthew interrupted boldly removing his arm from April's shoulder.

April calmly continued on taking hold of the paramedic's hand. "Matthew listen to me. Dr. Sheppard believes that we should humor Jackson's belief of reality for a short while until his true memories return."

"No way! April he's faking it. You don't really believe any of this, right?" he questioned looking into her chocolate eyes for validation that she was not stupid enough to fall for Jackson's latest scheme to steal her away from him.

"Matthew he's not. This is real and I've agreed to help Dr. Sheppard with Jackson's treatment. If we tell him the truth now it could hinder his ability to regain his memories. This will only be for a few weeks, nothing more."

"April I don't like this. You know how I feel about the guy."

"I know but you have to trust me Matthew. I love you and I would rather spend my time alone with you planning our wedding. You do believe me right?" the trauma surgeon insisted planting a sweet kiss on his cheekbone.

"It's not you that I don't trust, it's him. The guy wants you April and I can't stand the thought of him touching you, being near you in any way. It makes me sick."

April knew what she was asking of him and she hated to even put him through this but Derrick made it clear to her that Jackson needed her help. He was her best friend and despite their failed attempts at a romantic relationship, she knew she could never leave his side. She gazed at her fiancé whose face was etched in a permanent scowl and let out a deep sigh. She was so frustrated with everyone and everything and it killed her to see just how much she was hurting the man in front of her. He was truly the kindest man she had ever met and it amazed her that he shared her same commitment to their faith as she did. She was lucky to have such a wonderful man in her life.

"I need you to be ok with this," she responded- her voice tired from all the yells and cries from the night before.

Matthew looked at the trauma surgeon for a short while fighting the urge to take her in his arms and take all of her worries away, but he couldn't bring himself to do so. Their relationship was still on the rocks after her recent betrayal with the handsome doctor and the wound was still open. She wanted to be friends with the guy and he stupidly said nothing and now she expected him to just hand her over to him without any ill feelings.

"Matthew", she said after he had given her no response instead getting up to leave. "Where are you going?"

"Work," He answered with his back to her and continued towards the exit.

Jackson felt the extent of his injuries as he tried to pull himself up, eventually settling back in place after the realization that the pain would only worsen. He cringed from the sting of his torso as he tried to adjust his body back in place. He was a complete mess, broken ribs, scrapes and bruises scouring from head to toe, and his head felt like he had been repeatedly hit in the head with a baseball bat. He was grateful that he was still alive and that for the most part he would make a speedy recovery, but he was also frustrated. He had tried to remember the details of the accident but every time he thought of the car, or the woman who hit him, or why he had walked home from Joes that night, none of it felt real. He knew it all happened, hence his stay in the hospital and that his colleagues had gone over every detail of the accident with him.

Everyone had been in to visit him except for the one person he had thought would have never left his side. He had been awake for hours and April had yet to come see him. Alex had been the first to stop by taking a seat next to his hospital bed for all but two minutes. He knew Alex wasn't into being sappy but he could tell that his friend was happy to see him alive and well.

"How are you feeling man," Alex asked combing his hands over his disheveled mane. He hadn't had time to shower or comb through his hair because he had been at the hospital all night waiting to hear news of Jackson's condition.

"I could be better."

"Figures," Alex agreed taking in the surgeon's slightly less attractive appearance. Even with the scaring from the accident, Jackson still remained pretty. Alex wasn't ashamed to admit that his roommate was better looking then he was or that every woman that he encountered went gaga like some star struck teenager. He had gotten over his grudge against the pretty boy once he realized there were plenty of woman who still went crazy for the kick ass pediatrician with a chip on his shoulder.

Jackson's eyes wandered towards the door hoping that April would walk in at any second ready to open her heart to him. She was his fiancé but sometimes he felt she only accepted his proposal because of the pregnancy. As unexpected as it was he realized that with or without the baby he still wanted to marry her. It really bothered him that she had not been the first person he saw when he opened his eyes. He turned to Karev who was watching the clock like he had somewhere else to be.

"You don't have to stay man. If you need to be somewhere don't let me stop you," he said groggily.

Alex turned his attention towards the plastic surgeon who was staring back at him intently. He could tell something was bothering Jackson the moment he walked in, and it made him uneasy. He didn't know how to be someone's friend, let alone best friend. He tried to avoid serious conversations or emotional declarations as often as he could, and for the most part he did a good job of doing so. Today, however, he had found it hard to keep himself from falling apart. He never really knew how much he cared about Jackson until he thought he was going to lose him. They were bros, something Alex had disregarded in his own family, but he couldn't find it in him to turn his back on Jackson as he had done to everyone else he cared about.

"I do have a patient I need to check on in a few, but for now I'm fine," he said looking back at Jackson whose eyes had remained centered at the door. "Are you looking for someone?You seem a little distracted."

"I'm sorry man. I was hoping that April would have been here by now, but I guess something more important must have come up. You would think her fiancé being ran over and having to be hospitalized would take precedence over whatever else she's doing now," the surgeon admitted aloud.

Alex had heard that Jackson had suffered some memory loss but he didn't know the extent of his injuries. April had never been engaged to the plastic surgeon as far as he knew but he knew better than to say anything about it. Instead he listened to his friend as he continued to complain about the red-head.

"I can't believe she's not here," Jackson complained.

" It's not like that dude. April has been here all night. The only reason she's not here now is because Derrick asked to speak to her, I'm assuming about you," said Alex. "You must really care about her."

" I love her."

"Aww my baby's in love," Catherine cooed as she entered the hospital room.

Jackson formed a half-smile. "Hi mom."