Hey there! The name of this chapter came from the title of a song by The Smiths... one of my all time favorite bands. I just want to say thank you for your comments and reviews! :) It's nice to know that people are reading and enjoying my story. I'm thinking that I can easily make it to 12 or maybe even 15 chapters if I'm lucky. I really want to explore and delve in deeper into Sam's background. It will be very interesting :)

enjoy this chapter! Remember to leave a comment and review :)

Thanks!

~Wallflower95

7

How Soon is Now?

When I am asked what my favorite song is... I can never come up with a response. I think at the moment I love the song 'How Soon is Now?' by The Smiths. Music is my way of escape. Escape from all the bad things happening now. When I play that record or turn on my Walkman it's just me and the music. It made me wish that I could listen to music during class. But it was okay. I always looked forward to break time of after school.

When I come into English class I notice that our regular teacher, Mrs. Jenkins wasn't there. Instead, it was a younger looking guy. A year ago, I would have been pining for the guy. He was good looking for a teacher. He said his name was Bill and that we could call him that. He was our substitute teacher for the day. He was nice and funny. No one was really paying attention in class (like they usually do). But I was listening. He assigned us a book. To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee. My mom has a copy of this book. It's her favorite. I was happy when I got my copy from Bill. It was something to do. After class finished, Bill called me to his desk. I gathered my books and walked towards the desk. Mary Elizabeth and Alice stood in the doorway, looking at Bill. Bill smiled.

"It's alright girls. Samantha will be joining you in a bit." I wondered what Bill wanted to talk to me about? Am I in trouble? I've been studying and working hard. I've turned in all of my assignments. What could it possibly be?

"It's okay. You're not in trouble." Bill said. I sighed in relief.

"Samantha Dutton..." I nodded.

"That's me." He nodded.

"I have heard many stories about you."

"I'm sure you have."

"But... I tend to not judge a book by it's cover." I didn't respond.

"Mrs. Jenkins wanted to inform you that you are excelling in this class and she would like to know if you want to switch to and advanced Grade 11 English class." I was surprised. I know I have working hard and I've been trying to participate in school but I didn't I was getting that good.

"Wow. Uh, yes. I'd love to."

"Excellent. It's the same time as this class three times a week. Room 27." I nodded. Bill filled out a form confirming my move to an advanced class.

"Thank you." I said. I walked out the door.

"And Sam?" Bill called. I turned.

"It is a huge achievement you have made... changing who you are. A great achievement."

Walking in the hallway I notice Patrick leaning against some locker. He has headphones on. I walked closer. The music was so loud I heard the song 'Yesterday' by The Beatles. I smiled. I tapped him on the shoulder, he jumped.

"Oh, hi Sam."

"Hi Patrick." I said with a smile.

"'Yesterday' is one of their greatest songs." I said. Patrick laughed.

"Yeah... well I'm still not really into this music."

"Face facts. You're letting the dark side take over."

"Never."

"You say that now but one day you're going to be just like me. A nobody." There's chatter behind us. Three football players are walking down the hallway. The smallest and youngest was in the middle. His name is Brady and he's in the 10th grade with us. He is the youngest person in our school to ever make the football team. He's training to be the quarterback. All the girls thought he was hot. All the guys wished they were him. But the way Patrick stared at him with longing in his eyes... well... that was a different story. I wanted to say something but it's none of my business so I stayed quiet. The three football players rounded the corner and disappeared. Patrick shook his head, his cheeks were slightly red.

"I better get going." And Patrick disappeared.

I have my Walkman on and it's playing 'How Soon is Now'. I wish I could just listen to that song over and over again.

I am the son

And the heir

Of shyness this is criminally vulgar

I am the son and the heir

Of nothing in particular

I look both ways before crossing the road. From behind me I hear a distant voice. A female voice calling my name. But I ignore it. I'm not sure why. Maybe cause this was my music time. I didn't want to be disturbed. So I kept walking.

You shut your mouth

How can you say

I go about things the wrong way

I am human and I need to be loved

Just like everybody else does

Someone touches my shoulder. I scream.

"Sam! Calm down! It's me." I take off my headphones and standing in front of me was the girl I used to be friends with. Jacey.

"Hey Sam."

Jacey sits across from me in the cafe we stepped in. We haven't said much since she stopped me on the sidewalk. She bought me a hot chocolate. Outside, it starts to rain. Typical March weather. I can't wait to walk in that. I sip at my hot chocolate. It's still hot. Jacey is playing with a ring on her finger. She's different, so different now. In the 8th grade Jacey went through a serious emo stage but her hair is now back to it's regular brown color. She still has the small piercing in her nose. She's wearing a dark green hoodie and black jeans. She isn't wearing her usual crazy amount of makeup and her grey eyes looked sad and distant.

"How have you been?" Jacey asked awkwardly. Is this awkward? Of course it is. We were best friends one day and then complete strangers the next. It's funny how fast that can happen. I thought we'd be best friends forever. I thought I could trust her. I don't know her anymore.

"Good." I said.

"I never see you at parties anymore." Jacey said.

"Because I don't do that anymore." I said. Jacey nodded.

"You've changed." She whispered. I laughed.

"And I see you haven't really." Jacey looked as if she was about to break. I felt a twinge of empathy. I understood what she was feeling. I was there not too long ago. But it's hard to feel bad for a person who's going through so much shit when they have the choice of changing their ways. I went through a rough time last year and I decided to be better than that. Jacey could have made it easier for herself but she chose not to. I don't feel bad for her.

"I've... I've been trying." Jacey whispered. I laughed.

"That's a joke. How many guys have you fucked in our school?" I asked her. A tear fell down her cheek. I sighed.

"Why am I here, Jacey?"

"I just wanted to talk."

"Why now? After a year why now?"

"I've made a lot of mistakes..."

"Clearly."

"I just needed someone to talk to..."

"Why don't you talk to your new boyfriend... Adam. Isn't that his name?" Adam Larkin. 12th grader in our school. He's graduating this year. Last I heard Jacey was sleeping with him.

"Adam and I are done." Jacey said.

"Why's that?" Jacey looked at me.

"Because I'm pregnant. And I'm pretty sure the kid is his."

I was quiet and so was she. I guess whenever I slept with guys during that bad time of my life I never really thought of the consequences. I never thought of what if I end up getting pregnant or what if I get STD? I didn't hit me until now.

"You're serious?"

"Yes." I was shocked. Jacey... a mom at fifteen?

"What are you going to do?"

"I don't know." Jacey was really crying now.

"I told him yesterday. Adam. I told him and he freaked out. Said he didn't want anything to do with me or the baby." It was hard for me to feel bad for Jacey. She got herself into this mess and now I had to help her out of it? If she had listened to me last year, when she was raped that one night, I feel like none of this would have happened. It's funny how one moment can change your whole life like that.

But I couldn't just leave her like this. She was completely alone. Jacey doesn't have the most supportive family. Her mom is a drunk who sleeps with every guy she meets so Jacey lives with her old brother and his girlfriend who aren't exactly qualified to care for a teenager. I can't ditch her again. I told myself that I'd be a better person and good people help others.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. To be a good person... I had to help my best friend. I took Jacey hands. Her tear filled eyes looked at me.

"Everything is going to be okay." I whispered. And she nodded. Do I know that everything is going to be okay? No. For all I know, everything will turn to shit. But in this past year, with all that has happened to me... I know I can change that.

Everything is going to be okay.