This was it: quite literally, judgement day.

John sat in the gallery, flanked on both sides by family and friends. Even so, he could not make his legs stop shaking. His knees bounced up and down, up and down. He shared a worried glance with Elijah, before sucking in a deep breath. Whatever happens, happens, he thought.

"All rise."

There was a flurry of sound as everyone in the courtroom rose. The judge entered and sat in front of the large Royal Coat of Arms that hung on the wall behind the bench. John was glad when he was able to sit back down; he was not convinced that his legs would have supported him for much longer. He reached for Elijah's hand.

"It'll be fine," the other man whispered.

John nodded, then focused his attention on Molloy, who was about to give his closing speech. The man gave a thorough recap of the proceedings, and revealed a lot of information that John had not known, for so much of the prosecution's case had been stated before he had been allowed into the courtroom.

"This has been a long and complicated case," Molloy said, drawing to the conclusion of his statement. "Members of the jury, you have heard weeks' worth of testimony. The defence would have you believe that Ms Thomas is guiltless because of her mental state. However, in the case of the murders, let me remind you of the definition of not guilty by reason of diminished responsibility.

"Section 2 of the Homicide Act 1957 states that, 'Where a person kills or is party to a killing of another, he shall not be convicted of murder if he was suffering from an abnormality of mental functioning which - (a) arose from a medical condition; (b) substantially impaired the defendant's ability to do one or more of the things mentioned in subsection (1A); and (c) provides and explanation for the defendant's acts and omissions in doing or being a party to the killing.

"Those things in subsection 1A are defined as - (a) to understand the nature of the defendant's conduct; (b) to form a rational judgment; and (c) to exercise self-control.'"

Molloy took a breath and looked up from his papers.

"The prosecution has proven to you that, while Ms Thomas may have a medical condition that affects her mental health, that does not mean she did not understand that her conduct was wrong, not does it mean she could not think rationally or indeed exercise self-control. Ms Thomas understood fully that what she did was morally wrong. Had she not, she would not have gone to such lengths as burying the bodies on her farmland. If she had not known it was wrong, why hide it? The murders, as shown by the forensic evidence on the bodies, were not irrational crimes of passion, but rather were planned and rationalised acts. Thomas needed to silence the voices she did not like, such as her father. She also wanted to prevent her husband from having a life away from her. And then, when they were of no further use to her, she rid herself of the two men she had kept captive for her own depraved use. No doubt, had he not escaped, John Eugene Tracy would have become a fifth dead body on the farm."

Jamming his hand into his mouth was the only way John could stifle the emotion that threatened to burst from it. Oh God, oh God… Elijah's arm was around his shoulders and his grandmother's hand was on his knee. Just hold it together. Hold it together…

"And of course, that brings us to the other charges. Ms Thomas knew that what she was doing to the men – including the nine counts of causing sexual activity without consent, done to Mr Tracy, the only survivor of her abuse – was wrong. She knew that when she bought the handcuffs used to chain her victims to the bed. She knew that when she acquired the flunitrazepam she used to control them, to make the helpless against her. She knew it when she cruised the motorways, looking for victims. She knew it when she struck them, bundled them into the boot of her car, when she chained them, drugged them, and then sexually assaulted them. She knew it every time she threatened the men, like Mr Tracy, with her fists or the baton or the gun. Or indeed, with threats of violence against her own daughter."

Tears were flooding his cheeks at this point but John managed to stay silent. Please convict her, please convict her… Elijah pressed a kiss to his temple and John closed his eyes, listening to Molloy's conclusion.

"Members of the jury, Ms Thomas was fully aware of the illegality and immorality of her actions. She knew it was wrong to kill, yet she did so – four times. She knew it was wrong to kidnap, but she did so three times. She knew it was wrong to keep someone imprisoned, but again, she did so three times. And she knew, every time she laid a hand on one of the men – Ian and Marcus and John –every time she drugged them and satisfied herself on their bodies, that it. Was. Wrong. Were she a man, her actions would be defined as rape.

"Ms Thomas may have a medical condition that affects her mental health, but it does not affect her ability to tell right from wrong. And I hope that you can see, as has been made clear in this courtroom over the past few months, that she did understand that her actions were wrong."

With that, Molloy returned to his seat and John leaned down to place his head between his knees. Elijah rubbed his back and Grandma Tracy pressed a handkerchief into his hand. Yet through it all, John remained silent. I will not let her hear me, he thought. I will not give her that satisfaction.

He missed most of the defence's closing statement as he tried to bring his breathing back under control. When he sat up again, Dove was nearing her conclusion.

"Members of the jury," she said, "I hope that you can now see that Ms Thomas may have committed some of the acts that she is accused of, it has not been proven beyond reasonable doubt that she understood the gravity of her actions. From childhood, she was always prone to irrational thoughts and had difficulty with attachment, with believing that people had affection for her. This, and the self-destructive behaviour she has displayed since her late teenage years – all hallmarks of her emotional intensity disorder – as well as her depression, have come together into a thick fog that has meant that she has not been able to understand the reality and the consequences of her actions. She cannot be prosecuted for actions she did not intend. So, I leave you with one final statement: reasonable doubt? Throw it out."

Disgust rose like bile in John's throat and he had to exercise every ounce of self-control he had left to prevent his mouth from spewing abuse. She did understand, he thought. She knew it was wrong. She knew all of it was wrong!

"Now that the closing statements have been made," the judge said, "the jury must now retire to deliberate the verdict."

The judge stood, quickly followed by everyone else. The usher led the jury away. John's gaze fell on the dock, where Grace was about to be led away to the cells to await the decision.

Instead of following the guard with her head down, as she had done every other time, she looked up. Right into the gallery. Right at him.

And she smiled.

~oOo~

The wait was appalling. Despite the fact they knew it would take time – Hell, it might take days, Jeff thought – it was still intolerable. The little group was waiting in a private room somewhere in the warren that was the courthouse.

Not much had been said; there wasn't much left to say. I hope they convict her, Jeff thought. They have to. With the weight of all that evidence, it shouldn't be possible to doubt her intentions. He snuck a glance at John, who was sitting on one of the armchairs, his right foot bouncing up and down. I don't know what he'll do if they don't send her down. I know he's said that it doesn't matter, but it does. Of course it does. It's a case of being believed or not. It's a case of knowing whether she's locked up or still free to do it all again. And what about Amelia? If they set Grace free, does that mean the poor child goes back to her mother?

After six hours, the tinny noise of the tannoy sounded. Everyone in the room sat up.

"In the case of Thomas vs. the Crown, the verdict will now be read in courtroom two. Courtroom two, please."

"The wait is finally over, it would seem," Penelope said, standing and smoothing the front of her dress."

Jeff nodded and stood, holding out a hand to his son. John accepted it and allowed his father to pull him to his feet.

"No matter what, we're all here for you," he said.

John nodded, though said nothing.

~oOo~

They made their way back to the public gallery and awaited the appearance of the judge, then the jury. John's brow had broken out into a sweat again and he reached up to wipe it. Calm down, Tracy, he thought. He looked down at the top of Grace's head. She didn't seem to be sweating. He wished that he could see her face.

Elijah squeezed his hand as the jury settled down and the judge turned to them.

"Members of the jury," she said. "Will your spokesperson please rise?"

One of the jurors, a man in his mid-fifties with a balding head, stood up. There was a piece of paper in his hand. That paper is it. That paper holds the decision. John's heart was like a runaway train, hammering in his chest with an intensity he had never felt before. Oh, God…

"Have you reached a verdict in respect of the accused, Grace Stephanie Thomas?" the judge asked.

"The jury has reached a verdict, Your Honour."

"What is your verdict in respect of the charges in the indictment?"

John swallowed hard and leaned forward. This was it…

The jury foreman looked down at the sheet. John could hear it crinkling between his fingers.

"Murder, all counts: guilty."

Throughout the gallery, there was a wave of silent celebration. John found himself enveloped in embracing arms from all sides. She's going to jail, he thought. She's going to go away for a long, long time! When he freed himself, gasping for air, he caught the eye of some of the others who had gathered there. Some of them, he knew, were relatives of Ian and Marcus. Some were relatives of Grace. And Amelia. There were tears and smiling faces, punches in the air – a few were even blessing themselves and looking to the roof.

John looked down. Grace had not moved an inch.

Ignoring all of the noiseless victory, the judge continued the proceedings.

"Is that verdict unanimous or by majority?"

"Unanimous." The foreman looked down at the paper again. "Kidnapping, three counts: guilty by majority vote. False imprisonment, three counts: guilty by majority vote."

Guilty. Guilty. Guilty.

Then the final verdict was read. As far as John was concerned, this was the most important of them all.

"Causing sexual activity without consent, nine counts."

Blood was thundering in his ears. Please, please, please…

"Guilty by majority vote."

This time, John was surrounded by even more people. Some of the others in the gallery piled over to him, clapping him on the shoulder, touching his head. In that moment, he realised what he had become. He wasn't just a victim.

He was the person who had brought them justice for their lost loved ones.

"Good for you, son," Jeff said, pressing his forehead to John's. "Good for you. That's it. It's over."

"I know, Dad. I know. Thank God…"

The celebration was noisier this time and the judge threatened to clear the gallery. At that, everyone returned to their seats but the buzz of excitement would not abate. John looked down again. Grace had still not moved.

That was, until the judge nodded and then turned her attention to her.

"Grace Stephanie Thomas, would you please stand?"

Her movements careful, Grace rose from her seat, although her whole body was shaking.

"You have been found guilty of four counts of murder, three counts of kidnapping, three counts of false imprisonment and nine counts of causing sexual activity without consent. Though it has been shown that you have had a difficult life, and that you suffer from a mental health condition, the jury have been satistifed that this did not hinder your ability to tell right from wrong. Due to the shocking and wicked nature of your crimes, we will reconvene at a later date for sentencing. Not only have you destroyed your own life, but you have taken the lives of four others, and no doubt your actions will have life-altering consequences not only for your daughter Amelia and Mr Tracy – survivors of your abuse – but also likely on your other daughter, born from said abuse." The judge paused for breath and leaned forward. "I believe that you are a danger to society and I cannot foresee you having the opportunity to offend again." She sat back. Then she addressed the jury. "Members of the jury, you have dispatched your duty as jurors – one of the most important roles in our society – and I thank you for your service. You are now free to leave. Good day." With that, the jurors began to rise and the usher led them away. The judge stood and the call for 'all rise' was made. "The court will reconvene in four weeks for sentencing. Take the prisoner away."

John watched as Grace turned around to follow the guards. Once again, her eyes travelled up to the gallery. This time, she was not smiling.

This time she was snarling.

John remained impassive and simply folded his arms. As the guard placed a hand on her shoulder to push her along, the reality of the situation seemed to fall upon her. Tears began to stream down her face and she craned her neck to look at him until she disappeared from view.

He fell back down into the seat. It was done. It was over. Elijah sat down beside him; John leaned in to embrace him.

"No door ever closed, but another opened," he whispered.

~oOo~

Nothing stays the same forever. Rock erodes. Stars die. Change is inevitable, painful, brutal. But change isn't always a bad thing. After all, without it we would never see the splendour of a sunrise or the beauty of a sunset.

Or the miracle of butterflies.