Sasuke
"What can we do about all of this?" She whispered, her fingers intertwining with each other as she stared out of the window behind me.
I don't know what she would have wanted me to say, not that I even knew what to say to her either. I hated how she managed to make me feel like this, so stupid and vulnerable, when she was nothing but a prisoner and I was the Captain, when I was in charge of the situation and she could do nothing but stand by and watch everything unfold. And knowing how she felt about me only managed to complicate the situation between us even further.
At that point, even if I knew what she felt, I wanted to do nothing but shove her away. I didn't want to love her, or continue to love her. I didn't want her to do the things that she did, that enticed me and drew me in towards her. I just wanted her to go back to being that prisoner who I didn't want to feel anything for, the prisoner with the stupid pink hair, the prisoner I could hurt without feeling guilty about the things I did to her or the pain I caused. If I could finally look into those bright emerald eyes and not feel anything, not fall into them and find it hard to get out – that was all I really wanted.
"There's nothing we can do, Sakura." I finally said, the words heavy on my lips as her eyes darted back. "Because not seeing each other won't make anything better."
I knew that, and I knew that she did too.
She didn't say anything and just stared at me – like she seemed to do so often. I lowered my head slightly so I could look down at the ground and avoid her eyes.
"Why?" She asked, the hesitation flooding through. "Why did this all happen in the first place?"
"Why did you make me have to see you for all of this time when you could have killed me in the first place and save us both all of this trouble?"
I asked myself that question every day, why I didn't just kill her when I had the chance, when I didn't develop this attachment for her that made it difficult for me to hold a gun to her head and take her life away. Every time I thought about killing her, it just made me nauseous. I should have saved myself before it was too late.
"I can't even remember anymore." The words left my lips in a whisper. "It's been so long."
"I've heard things are developing on the battlefield. The soldiers on the frontline have pushed through Konoha and are almost at the capital. Their Hokage is trying to make deals but General Orochimaru won't hear any of it," Naruto said as he leaned back into the armchair, his hand, which held nothing but a glass of whiskey, falling over the edge as the whiskey started to drip to the floor.
"Why should he?" Another soldier, whose name I could barely remember, snorted as he tipped his head back, his eyes glowering with anger. "For years, Konoha have been making a fool of him and the rest of us in Oto, they deserve what they get."
"But I mean, innocent people are dying out there for no reason, Kiba. Just because of decades of rivalry between our countries since the last war."
For as long as I'd known him, Naruto had been nothing but the peace-maker, so naïve and stupid. He always seemed to think that somehow he would be able to change the world, somehow he would bring back the peace that was forever lost while the conflict and hatred persisted. And he was so adamant by this that he struggled to lift his weapons when he needed to, because the killing and the pain that we caused as soldiers was wrong.
It had never made sense to me why he had become a soldier in the first place.
"This is what war is Naruto." His eyes widened and head twisted towards me at the sound of my voice, his back straightening as I paced myself towards the group. "There are always people who are going to get hurt."
I didn't know what had made me decide to go and join the other soldiers that evening, since I'd never been one to go out of my way to join them before. The bastards had always been so stupid, so annoying, so lazy, always wanted to cause me trouble. And they were worse drunk, but I left my chambers that night and forced myself to endure a glass of whiskey in their company while I didn't call for Sakura that night. Rather than staying locked in my room, alone, like I should have, like I normally enjoyed.
"You signed up to be a soldier, you signed up for this lifestyle. So you're just going to have to deal with the consequences."
His lips turned downwards into a scowl as he brushed a hand through his unruly, blonde hair. He hated the truth, but said nothing and took a swig of his whiskey.
"Oh Captain Sasuke, I didn't see you there." I heard someone behind me, the sarcasm dripping from his voice. "Aren't you supposed to be fooling around with your little slut right now?"
I turned my head in his direction as he adjusted the glasses on his nose, his silver hair almost white beneath the light flickering above us. I knew his face from somewhere but my mind struggled to place it and so I just stood there and lowered my eyes on him for a few moments, wondering why the hell this moron thought he could approach me about Sakura. Sure, most of the other soldiers knew that I'd taken a prisoner for my own personal gain, but they also knew that shit would go down if anyone ever mentioned her in my presence.
"That doesn't concern you."
"It doesn't." He smirked. "Unless you were going to be screaming at each other as per usual. Can hear that shit all the way down the hall."
"That bitch just doesn't know how to keep her mouth shut."
Nobody said anything and all eyes turned towards the pair of us. I could sense the amusement in the soldier's eyes, he was getting a kick out of this, this way of embarrassing me, and I wanted to do nothing but knock that stupid smirk from his face until he learned how to treat me with the respect that he should have had for me.
"I don't know how you haven't managed to just," He paused, but somehow I knew the words he would say before he said them. When that thought had ran through my own mind, many times, the night earlier. "Shoot her yet."
"What I do with the prisoners here has nothing to do with you." I brought my hands up and shoved him before he stumbled backwards, his back hitting against the wall as a scowl ghosted across his lips. "Learn your place here, and don't get involved with matters that don't concern you."
"I could have you sent to the battlefields before you even have the time to apologize."
He straightened his back as he brushed the hair from his face and shot a venomous glare in my direction. I wondered if he would try to say anything else and waited for his response as he parted his lips and tried to the let the words out. He lowered his head before any words were said.
I turned my back away from the crowd of them as their eyes widened, filled my glass until it was full before I left that room, my feet thudding against the ground with the same way that I had come. I heard no other sounds fill the air for a few moments, until the chatter returned, much quieter than before. They were growing smarter with me.
"What do you know about Lieutenant Kabuto?" I broke through the hushed silence of our surroundings, continuing to shift my weight forward along the hallway.
Pausing in my steps, I twisted my head, scanning my eyes over the faces of those who surrounded us. Even saying his name ignited such hatred within me that was difficult to suppress, my cheeks flushing to a deep red as anger radiated from me. I couldn't stand him, the stupid bastard kept trying to get under my skin, bother me, irritate me and I could barely handle the situation anymore.
It hadn't been until after I had reached my room that night that I realized he was the same soldier from that day in the kitchen, the one who had threatened to kill Sakura and the others just as I'd entered the room, that had hit her and almost made her kill herself the evening that followed. The soldier that kept trying to question my authority. The soldier who I didn't want to do anything but slaughter and feed to the crows.
He was nowhere in sight as I turned to Naruto, his eyebrow raised questioningly.
"What is it that you need to know about him, sir?" he asked curiously. His hand slowly rose, tugging onto my jacket as the prying eyes of other soldiers grew visible in the distance, their eyes wavering over us as they watched our encounter.
I wrapped my hand around his wrist, dragging him across the vinyl floor until we reached the security of my office. Forcing him into the chair in front of my desk, I questioned how I would respond to his question. I knew that this wasn't like me, this wasn't particularly normal behavior in my case but he didn't need to understand why this was occurring or why I required the knowledge. Naruto hadn't yet proved that he was trustworthy and I didn't know if he shared what little information I had given him about myself. But he was the closest I had to a friend and the only source I had to information that I needed.
"Anything! His family background, personal information, his daily tasks. Just find out anything for me!" My curled fist slammed upon the desk. The contents shook vigorously, thudding to the ground at impact. I inhaled and exhaled slowly, cool breaths appearing before me in faint clouds as I gradually returned to a state of serenity. "Where should he be right now?"
There were a few paused moments, confusion lingering over Naruto's face as his mind ran through all possibilities. His pursed lips had created a small gap but the words were frozen within his breath, unable to be said.
"He patrols around the kitchen at this time, ensuring that they are doing their job correctly. Apparently, he thinks that they always cause trouble," he finally responded, heaving a deep sigh.
"What? How long has this been going on for? The last time I heard, he was in charge of training the younger soldiers!" Fire broke out within me, venom seeping from my eyes. I shot a distasteful glare out of the window, directing it into the distant as I pressed my hand against the coolness of the glass. The bastard was aiming for her on purpose, betraying my authority. I couldn't let him do it any longer. She didn't deserve to be treated that way.
I stormed towards the oak desk at the head of the room, rummaging through a pile of papers that sat upon my desk in search of nothing but a distraction as Naruto remained close by. Who knew what would happen if he had become so infuriated with her? What he would do if she made the slightest mistake.
Sakura wasn't stupid, she knew how this place worked by now and I knew that she kept to herself and her work to avoid any encounters with the soldiers that were roaming around, with Lieutenant Kabuto. Especially when he'd threatened to have her and the other women in the kitchen killed that day the baby was delivered. But I knew that he was the kind of person who would dare to question my authority, when he'd just done so nights earlier. She couldn't stand the torture anymore, especially when she was already so broken.
And in that single moment, I didn't care what would happen or what people who think of my actions.
My hand pressed down on the firm material, raising my head as I briefly cast my eyes over Naruto who sat frozen upon the chair in front of me. He couldn't have possibly understood what thoughts ran through my mind at that moment. He wasn't even aware of the changing emotions within me for the prisoner, my prisoner. His head lifted immediately as my eyes rested upon his large stature, as if he had been trained to sense my presence. Confusion washed over him, a subtle worry as he shot from the chair and rushed to my side just as my raised hand dropped.
"What do I have to do today?" I asked, my voice breaking through the uncomfortable silence of our surroundings.
"Today, sir?" There was a hint of urgency within his immediate reply. He was frightened by what I would ask.
"Yes, Naruto, today. What is in my schedule for today?"
His eyes switched back and forth between my eyes and the window behind me. There was an evident hesitation within him that had delayed his next response. It was as if he was aware of what was to happen next, as I would leave him behind. He knew the answer. I knew he knew the answer as the warmth of his orbs returned to meet the icy darkness of my own. He heaved another sigh, his lips parting but the words frozen. "There is nothing in your schedule for today, sir."
A smirk tugged at the corners of my lips. That bastard was going to receive the treatment he deserved. Nothing could have stopped me and the 'authority' I had allowed it. "That's all for today, Naruto. You can leave now." He didn't seem pleased to hear those words escape from my lips, frozen in my path as a barricade to my escape from the room.
I fidgeted in irritation at the sight of him, my hand raised as I pressed my palm against his arm and lightly shoved him from my path. I understood that this had come as a result of his good intentions for the others around us, our 'friends' as the army had claimed but that bastard had to be seen as my 'enemy'. If he thought he could defy my words and do as he so wanted, then he was wrong. As far as he was aware, I was the one in charge at the army camp. I had the power. If he betrayed said power then he was at fault, and I was the one needed to set him straight whether it seemed wrong and arrogant of me to do so.
My head was raised in a supercilious manner as I passed the rows of prisoners, my feet crunching on the cold gravel as my weight was carried forward. I hadn't spotted the one I was after, invisible within my line of sight. Somehow, though, I knew the further I travelled inside, the closer he became.
My body automatically paused as the surrounding tension and awkwardness grew indescribably uncomfortable, fearful gazes shot towards me as groups cowered in fright. It wasn't often that I decided to take a 'stroll' through the camp they believed was under my control. Their faces, sullen and dark, were overcome by fear, their bodies decaying and growing dangerously weak day by day. But there was no sympathy within me for them, no pity due to the fact that they were here at no fault of their own. I could feel nothing but discomfort and that was all I ever would.
To all of these people, I was nothing but a murderer.
"You!" I shouted as my eyes rested on one figure in the distance. My feet started to shuffle against the ground, carrying me towards him as he lifted his head. Our eyes briefly met and he certainly recognized me, for fear washed over him and overcame his actions. The object slipped from the grip of his fingers and in a brief second dropped with a thud to the ground. His actions had formed as a distraction to my initial plans.
I crouched down by his side as the others surrounding him disappeared before I had a chance to tell them as such. "I haven't done a single thing against your army. I didn't do anything and if I have I am sincerely sorry, I am. Please, just don't…don't kill me, sir," he spoke swiftly before I was able to conjure up my question.
His words had set me back and I wasn't sure of how I was to respond to such a request. It wasn't as if I hadn't received one of that nature before but the way he spoke and the tone of his voice proved he lived in fear of what actions I could pull against him.
"I wanted to know if you have seen this soldier, Lieutenant Kabuto, "I heaved a brief sigh before I continued, "I've heard he walks past here every day. Silver hair. Glasses."
"I saw him. He past here just ten minutes ago, he did," He responded almost immediately, eyebrows furrowed in confusion as if he couldn't understand the words I had said or why I had said them. There was an evident sense of relief within his words and his eyes, a relief of knowing that he had another day though he didn't know when his last would come.
"That is all. Now, clean this up!" I shot from my position upon the ground, leaving with the same arrogance that I came with.
My eyes scanned over the surrounding faces, their heads immediately lowered and vision diverted to avoid my attention. I enjoyed the fear of my presence, the fright and tears brought by a single glare. I had always been the one the other children had mocked in our earlier years, teasing and mocking me because of my mother's status and my father's lost love towards me. They never seemed to care about what pain their words would have caused me and the feelings I had that I would never belong among them. If only they could see me as the army Captain I was, then they would wish that their words could be taken back and never have been said. But then again, I should have thanked them. It was this mocking that had fuelled my desires for greatness, what had caused me to accept the position as 'Captain' in the first place, and what had caused me to do my next actions against the one not far away.
It wasn't until I turned the next corner that I spotted the group of them, crowded around one central figure that seemed secure and relaxed, without any knowledge of what was going to become of himself. They weren't aware of my slow approach towards them, cold air washing over me as a shudder ran across my limbs, my feet thudding against the ground. Their words were clearer as I grew even closer but I wasn't knowledgeable of the deep conversation that had taken each soldiers complete focus from them. The longer I waited for their attention, the more I yearned to know what was occurring before me, the patience within me slowly escaping until it was engulfed in the surrounding air.
"Well, well. What's going on over here?" I cleared my throat and straightened my back, tilting my head down to look at them. Their heads turned slowly, the fear glimmering over their eyes as they cast upon me, taken back as I gained their immediate attention, the conversation between them stopped mid-sentence before another word could be said.
"Don't you all have a job to do?" These words set them all aback a few moments, the guilt and surprise of my presence evident upon their faces. It was clear to them that I wasn't pleased with their actions and any other fault that I could find in them could bring severe penalties as a result. They'd seen what I was capable of before, when soldiers weren't capable of doing what I wanted. They knew that I could kill them right there, and find nothing but joy in doing so.
"Uh, sir, we were just-"
"Get back to your stations immediately! You wouldn't want to have me even more infuriated than I am already," There was a harsh quality hidden within my tone, my eyebrows furrowing in a definite anger which although it had been controlled, showed a growing hatred waiting to escape. "You all know what I'm capable of."
It didn't take another word for them to begin to return to their initial positions, slowly trudging past one by one as I examined them closely before allowing them to leave. The emotions playing at their faces proved that they understood what they had done was wrong. Yet there was not one person who would have been able to express the truth about what their conversation had entailed or included, what information had been exchanged. I couldn't help but feel I was their target.
The one person I wanted to see had waited until last to leave, slowly striding towards me as the last person had left my line of sight. He was exactly as I had remembered him from our last encounter, his exterior pleasing to the eye but he had a definite, uncaring attitude to him which was evident as he grew closer.
"You! Stay here!"
He continued at the same pace towards me, a smirk playing at his lips. There was no surprise upon his face, as if he had expected me to act like this towards him and it didn't appear as if he was fearful of what I had to say either. His pursed lips parted and in a mocking tone he replied, "Yes, your majesty. You wanted to see me."
"Don't try to be funny with me."
His simple words had angered me in a way that was indescribable, the way he addressed me as if I was a joke to him. I could feel the fire burning within me, waiting for the moment when it could no longer be suppressed and escape in a furious rage. Slow, cool breaths escaped my lips in my attempt to return to a state of serenity and calmness. Once that moment had come I felt ready to ask my questions.
"What do you think you have been doing by harassing the prisoners in the kitchen?"
"I think I've been doing my job. Somebody needs to put them in their place. It's not like there is someone else who can do that here. I suppose you have been too lazy," he spat distastefully, displeasure shot towards me from his dark eyes where the mocking towards me lay hidden deep within. His feet lifted off the ground as he began to pace himself around me, securing me within the inner circle he was creating as his form of intimidation. "If you didn't come in, I would have killed that damn baby, and your stupid slut who thought she could fight against me. I just need to wait for another opportunity."
"I'll make sure you never get that chance."
A chuckle left Kabuto's lips as he slowly walked forward from his position until we were mere inches apart. "Ah, yes, how could I forget? If I killed her, you'd have no one to yell with anymore," He spoke tauntingly, the intensity of his eyes burning a hole through my head. "Don't worry, you would have got bored of her pretty soon anyway,"
He knew more than any other soldier in my company and I was frightened of what other things he was knowledgeable about within my life. He'd heard us yelling at each other, so did that mean he had heard other things? Did he hear the things I had said to her, about my family, about Mikoto?
The things that he said had proved that he was more of an enemy than an ally, which I had been able to tell from the way that he spoke to me. He could bring me down with a single slip of his tongue and he was plotting to do so, I was sure of it. The anxiety that this brought was frightening beyond normal terms. I was no longer safe.
"Don't you dare touch her."
"I bet she just loves you the way you love her," The smirk endlessly tugged at the corners of his lips as he revealed secret by secret, "Don't worry, I wouldn't dare touch that filthy slut if you paid me. Especially when she's got someone else on the side."
He looked at me, watched the confusion flicker across my eyes before his lips parted and that taunting chuckle escaped from between them. "Oh, I've said too much."
My jaw had tensed before I could even come to terms with the things he had just said. My eyes swiftly switched to the watch on my wrist, avoiding the eyes that continued to mock me. She couldn't, she wouldn't dare, but my mind couldn't help but believe each of his words to be true, my heart sinking as nausea sat in the pit of my stomach. "You're lying. She wouldn't do that to me."
"Sorry to break it to you. I thought you would have known that she's been meeting him down by the well every day. I wouldn't be surprised if that whore has already fallen in love with him, perhaps even done more than the two of you have together. You were just too delusional and stupid to have not realized it." The sound of his voice dropped with each word, finishing with a whisper which was almost soundless but the impact it had caused upon me remained the same.
I did not stand a chance against his harsh revelations, internally stabbing me and creating a puncture within my heart. Betrayal and shock overcame all other emotions within me, the pain that he was causing excruciating beyond compare. My head lowered, lifting my hands as I buried my face in the warmth of my palms. I wanted his torture to end, the acute aching running through my veins becoming almost unbearable. I struggled to come to terms with his words as they jumbled in my mind and no longer made sense.
"I…what were you talking about?"
"If you want I could get rid of her for you, before she causes any more pain - Unless you want to do it yourself."
He spoke in a soft whisper, trying to make it look as though he was trying to help me. But I could finally see past his façade, the game he was playing with my mind. The bastard was smarter than I first believed, knowing that if he committed anything without my consent that it would cost him his own life. Kabuto wanted my approval and so he made me believe that Sakura was doing something wrong against me.
"I thought I told you not to touch her," I lifted my head, shifting my weight forward one step. My senses had fully returned and he was not going to get what he wanted.
"She's messing with your mind, Sasuke. She doesn't even like you, don't you understand? We both know that she's asked you to kill her more than once and do you know why? Because she can't stand you, and now she's fooling around with other men. Just get rid of her!" His impatience was evident, desperation hidden within his voice and the fiery glare that never shifted. This revelation hadn't failed to frighten me and yet again I couldn't help but feel he was speaking the truth. My mind was struggling to process this new information, trying to consider both sides before I could give him a reply as the excruciating aching returned, unforgivably bringing with it a series of great pain.
"She's just a stupid prisoner who has defied too many orders, she should have been killed the first day she came here."
"What's wrong, Captain? All you have to do is shoot her and then all of your troubles are gone."
"Shut up! Just shut up!" I roared in a furious rage. The anger was no longer able to be suppressed, the burning fire igniting within me. Venom seeped from my eyes, a distasteful glare shooting towards an unexpecting Kabuto who was slowly backing away from the scene. It was a rage unlike any other.
I launched towards him without any regrets, his body frozen in fear, face blank from lack of preparation. My curled fist rose from my side and collided with his cheek, the gentle sound of a tooth shattering at impact filling my ears. He staggered backwards in shock, slowly parting his lips as the blood filled his mouth, a single drop escaping from the corner of his lips. In a single second, I felt like I had lost my sanity, enjoying the sight before me as a smile curled at my lips. Kabuto struggled to regain his breath, gasping for air as the red liquid drained onto his clothes.
My body unconsciously moved forward, somewhat unwilling to continue as my opponent grew unlikely to fight back. My hand extended towards him, not expecting his next actions to be of any harm to myself as his fist sunk into my stomach, a crushing blow against my body. The pain was overwhelming as I felt my body slowly drop to the ground, my breathing rapid as the pool of Kabuto's blood stained my clothes, surrounding me.
I crouched to stand as he lunged forward once more, my fingers tightening around his throat while he struggled against me, digging his nails into my arms. He attempted to speak, his choked breaths wheezing and heaving specks of blood back and forth, the rancid scent wafting through the air. His vision was slowly being lost, eyes drowsily blinking as they struggled to stay open. I could have killed him there and then.
"What the fuck is going on?"
Naruto swiftly moved himself in front of me, the strength of his hands digging upon my shoulders as he pulled me away from the opponent unable to stand another moment of torture. There was confusion and shock within his eyes as he sent a questioning glare in my direction, a pair of soldiers lifting Lieutenant Kabuto from the ground, examining the damage I had caused. His eyes were wide open, unable to tear themselves away from mine as the murderous rage gradually escaped my mind. It wasn't until that moment that I realized I had caused great embarrassment for myself. I shouldn't have done something so stupid, but I couldn't help but feel Kabuto had wanted this to happen all along.
Supported by men on both sides, he slowly left the area behind, limping forward on one foot. The red marks of my attack remained visible upon the paleness of his throat as he paused by my side. He twisted his head 65 degrees, parted his lips and mumbled, "You just have to wake up and see. Then you'll realize I'm telling the truth," and nothing more.
Before I was able to send another look in his direction, he had disappeared from my sight.
"What happened? What is he talking about?" Naruto asked, pressing a warm cloth into my hands as a drop of the red liquid ran down the length of my face.
"It's nothing," I immediately replied in a nonchalant manner, turning my body in the opposite direction as my feet crunched upon the gravel below our feet.
"Aren't you going to come back to your office?"
"I have something I need to do first."
Naruto didn't say or ask anything else, leaving me in the state of isolation that I required at that moment. I had almost committed murder against one of my own, a soldier in the army that I had become Captain to, while protecting a prisoner that we were holding hostage. My secrets would be revealed if Kabuto dared to open his mouth and speak of the day's events which I was unsure would occur or not. I had given him the perfect excuse though I had no knowledge of what things he may or may not have known. There was no one I could trust, no soldier, not Naruto. I couldn't even trust Sakura - I didn't even know if a single word Kabuto had said against her was true. And I knew that I wouldn't have been able to find solace in myself if I didn't go see it for myself.
I travelled across the camp in search of any sign of her, retreating to the kitchen as the first place I would have been able to find her. My intention was to make it appear as though I was merely checking if the group of prisoners had been completing their work to standard, even if I was only searching for any trace of Sakura. If she was there then I would have a somewhat satisfaction that she wasn't fooling around with any other man. But once I had entered, I was met with a disappointment beyond explainable before I subtly left for elsewhere.
My body continued along the gravel paths, gradually stepping forward while the aching within my head returned. Kabuto's words continually played in my mind over and over, taunting and frightening me as I watched the ground beneath my feet. I was like a lost child, endlessly turning back and forth, walking along the same paths without a trace of her. I felt vulnerable and stupid, like I'd felt so many times in the past around my father. I could merely assume that if I was unable to find her that she had returned to the kitchen during my travels that she couldn't have possibly been fraternizing with someone else. It wasn't until I decided to return to my office that I realized these thoughts were false.
As I turned, she was visible within the distant surroundings, talking to another prisoner as she struggled to hold the pail of water in her hands any longer. A smile played at her lips as I slyly moved closer to the pair of them, unwilling to become seen as their conversation continued. I crouched behind a group of boxes piled against the rough wall, concealing me from their line of sight as I gripped the wall for support and brushed my dark hair away from my face. Was he the one that Kabuto had mentioned earlier? The one her heart had perhaps belonged to?
Their words were not audible but the emotions, the looks evident upon their faces helped to paint a somewhat accurate picture of their conversation. There was an excitement within his eyes as he struggled to speak to her and when he was finally finished, Sakura was flustered by his statement, yet the smile remained painted upon her lips. She didn't say anything, her lips parted but the words frozen between them as he paced himself closer towards her, his head gradually lowering as he captured her lips within his. She didn't even fight back, responding to his kiss as if she had wanted it to happen.
She didn't look at me like that, the way that she looked at him. She didn't respond to me like that when I kissed her. She didn't do any of it.
I swiftly turned my head away from the pair of them before I could watch any more. Lifting myself from the ground, I returned to the office, trying to suppress the envy and hatred within me until I was securely hidden from the world. How dare that fucking bitch do that to me! Did she pretend that I was him during our heated encounter? I was stupid to think that she could ever love me, stupid to think that she could ever truly be mine.
I knew that it was my fault that things had turned out the way it had between us. I should have just killed her that first day we met – if only I knew how she would end up playing me, and like a fool I listened to all of her words.
Sakura
I was escorted to the Captain's room in the evening, as usual, but the soldier's actions appeared peculiar and unfamiliar. He seemed slightly hesitant to ensure that I had entered the Captain's room and once I had been ushered inside, he disappeared without a trace. I didn't understand what had become of him, why he was acting in this way, and I could only assume that I was never to know. To be perfectly honest, all soldiers throughout the day had been acting in this strange behavior, as if something had happened amongst them which had changed their perception of each other.
I was met with complete darkness as I entered; the light had disappeared from within the room. The flame of a single candle cast a faint glow upon the oak desk as the movements of a distant figure became audible within the eerie silence of the room. I couldn't understand why Sasuke enjoyed waiting for me in such a frightening atmosphere, unless he had planned something that evening. The knowledge that he was in no position to hurt me brought with it a sense of relief, especially when he had declared that he felt the same way towards me as I him. Yet I still found myself in a state of discomfort as I paced myself inside, running my hands along the walls in search of a path, a switch to turn on a light.
My hand brushed over smooth plastic, my finger flicking the switch. The room was suddenly lit with light but the state of the room was frightening to the extent that I wanted to switch it off. Shards of glass were scattered across the ground, a pool of liquid sitting amongst them while his back faced me, standing at the opposite end of the room. I was overcome by confusion at the situation I was in, why the room was in such a condition, why he appeared to be avoiding me.
As my lips parted to call out to him, he swiftly turned to face me, my eyes immediately resting on the gash on his forehead and the bruise below his eye.
"What happened to you? Are you okay?" I immediately asked, trying to step forward through the glass but to no avail. Shock was evident within my voice as my eyebrow raised in curiosity, wondering how exactly he had managed to hurt himself.
I couldn't help but wonder if he had started self-harming again, whether he had sliced the blade across his wrists until it was coated in his blood and the red liquid dripped down to the ground. I didn't want to see him like that again. Especially after I had managed to come to terms with the way that I felt about him.
"Why would you care?" he monotonously replied, leaning his back against the rough walls within the room, coated in layer after layer of paint.
"You've obviously been hit by something. Why haven't you bandaged it up? It could become infected." My foot crunched upon the glass as I shifted my weight forward one step, the shard breaking into many miniscule pieces as his dark orbs followed my every move.
There was something about the way he watched me that put me in a state of discomfort. The kindness and sincerity was missing from his dark eyes as they became replaced by the icy coldness that never failed to frighten me, that I had barely seen within them lately. He didn't say a single word as I attempted to move closer to him.
His eyes told me that something had happened earlier in the day, something which had caused this strange behavior within him and the other soldiers that surrounded him on all sides. Once I was inches apart from him, the bruise had grown even more noticeable, evidently painful. It was something he would never admit but he was in pain, and perhaps why he was acting so peculiarly around me.
"What happened to you, Sasuke?"
The softness of my voice ghosted across my pale lips. My hand lifted from my side as I reached forward, brushing the tips of my fingers gently across the bruise. He caught my wrist before I could examine it more closely, tightly wrapping his fingers around it as the sharpness of his nails dug into my skin.
"Don't you dare touch me, you filthy little slut!" he shouted, the impact of his voice blowing the curling tendrils from my cheeks.
His breath felt warm against my skin as anger burned within his eyes, his body fidgeting in irritation. It wasn't until then that I realized how he had addressed me, how he had spoken to me with such anger that I'd barely witnessed within him. Could it have been the pain of his bruise? Or had I done something which had ignited this hatred?
He pressed his hand upon my back and without another sound escaping from him, he shoved me against the roughness of the wall, gripping my arms tightly in place. I could only hope that this was some kind of joke he was trying to play on me. He couldn't have intentionally wanted to hurt me, would he? He wouldn't do this if he loved me.
He cupped my chin within the palm of his hand as he forced me to look up at him, his free hand whipping across my face. The burning sensation upon my cheek was almost unbearable as he freed my arms, watching superciliously as I dropped to the ground. He shifted his gaze away from me as a cry of pain escaped my lips
"You think I'm stupid, don't you? You think I'm so stupid that I wouldn't realize what was going on?" He roared, the infuriation burning in his eyes, his grip strong, lips holding nothing but angered words, folded into a scowl.
I didn't know what I could have said, what he was even talking about.
"Well, you're wrong! I know everything!"
My body shook vigorously in fear, fright conquering all emotions within me. This wasn't a joke or game - it was reality and I couldn't bring myself to understand what I had done to receive so much hatred. This wasn't the Sasuke I had grown to know. This wasn't the Sasuke who had held me in his arms. This wasn't the Sasuke who loved me.
"Speak, you bitch!"
"Sasuke, I…what did I do wrong?" The words slipped from my lips in a choked breath as I suppressed the oncoming cry within me. I tried to lift myself from the ground but with one swift blow to the stomach, all hope of doing so was lost. My body crumpled on the ground as I recoiled in pain, clutching my side as the cry escaped from me and echoed in the surrounding air.
His face wrinkled in disgust at the sight of me and I knew that all kindness had been lost within him, unable to show itself when I required it. Hatred and anger was all that remained. "Don't you dare call me that, bitch! You are not my friend and I do not like you, so you should address me as 'sir', when, if ever, you are asked to speak to me. Have I made myself clear?" He growled, enjoying the frightened state that I was in and the terror within my eyes. His intentions were not forgiving and I could only fear what else could occur to me.
Where had that Sasuke gone? Why wasn't he here when I needed him?
"Do you know why I am so angry with you, Sakura?" He whispered viciously.
He crouched down by my side and avoided meeting my eyes. He spoke my name as if it was vile upon his tongue, his nose wrinkling in disgust. His hand lifted from his side and he grabbed a fistful of my hair, hair that had spilt out across my face, yanking my head up until our eyes could meet once more. I wanted to, I needed to find him within his dark eyes, and I needed to know that he was still there behind the anger that had clouded over them. I needed him to save me from himself.
"No, sir," I managed to reply after a moments silence.
"You thought you could hide it so well that I could never find out, didn't you?" The venom that shot out as he spoke was growing stronger. I didn't know what he was talking about. "Well, I know all about your lover, the man you've been meeting by the well every day. And you can't even say that he does not exist because I've seen you both with my own eyes… I bet you even fuck him when you're finished with me," He growled, his voice as cold as death.
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. He had seen me with Lee. He saw the pair of us kiss. He realized that there was a chance I had feelings of love towards someone else and he didn't like that. That's what all of this was about. It wasn't until then that I realized I should have been more careful. I shouldn't have let anything like that happen in public where he and the other soldiers could see everything. Sasuke was taking my actions beyond an acceptable level. He was truly a sick, evil man.
"Do you love him, Sakura?"
"Why did you choose him?"
"He loves me," I managed to choke out.
"Nobody can love you, you fucking piece of shit," I remained silent as his eyes returned to meet mine. "You are mine! Only mine!" he screamed in rage, tightening his grip upon me as he pressed me against the wall once more, holding my arms in place.
Drops of warm liquid were coursing down my cheeks, staining my ashen pale skin. The confusion within my eyes, those eyes which once sparkled with courage, was replaced by fear as the violent sounds disturbed my ears. Infuriation controlled his actions and not even he could overcome this violence.
"And I'm going to fuck you," He dipped his head down into the space between us, "then finally shoot you like I should have done long ago."
He lifted me from the ground, avoiding the glass within his path as he placed me upon the bed. His hands ran down the curves of my body, hungrily scanning his eyes over me leisurely. He was going to do what he had initially wanted with me, knowing that there was nothing which could prove his power over me but this. I was not going to be met with forgiveness that night, my body frozen in fear while the fright within my eyes pleaded for the act to stop. If he was in the right mind, this would never have happened. But he wasn't.
I couldn't say a single word, I couldn't make a single sound, I could barely breathe. His words scared me, and I could barely do anything to fight him back, no matter how much my eyes would plead. I managed to bring him back, back from that darkness that seemed to encompass him, the last time, but I'd never seen him like this. Even when he tried to punish me for what happened in the kitchen that one day months earlier, back when the snow cascaded to the ground, he hadn't acted like this. So murderous and deadly.
He trapped my legs between his thighs as his fingers played with the hem of my skirt. His eyes were avoiding mine, as I stared up at him, cowering back in fear as no words managed to reach my lips. I could barely move beneath him so when he started to push the hem up my legs and exposed more skin, I couldn't do anything but watch, his hands so warm that I almost felt like they were burning me. He stopped and froze for a few moments, and part of me seemed to think that he may have come back to his sense, that he may have realized that he needed to stop this before we both got hurt in the aftermath of his rage. He hadn't, and before I could anticipate his next actions, he ripped the skirt and pulled the buttons of my blouse apart.
I lay there, in nothing but my underwear, surrounded by the fabric that was supposed to keep me warm, all shredded and torn. I was struggling to breathe, each gasp for oxygen catching in my throat but struggling to reach my lungs. My heart thudded in my chest, thudded rapidly as the blood flooded through my veins and to my face as it reddened beneath Sasuke.
I gasped for another breath, trying to force the words, any words, out from between my lips in this state I was in, this frightened, this embarrassed state.
"Why are you doing this?" I called out to him as his fingers brushed against my pale skin. "Sasuke, you have to stop this."
"Don't call me that!"
Sasuke pulled his tie from his neck as the coolness of one hand pressed my body against the bed, the fabric stretched as he threw it to the ground. He found himself struggling to free himself of his shirt as I looked up at him, my eyes unable to tear away from his muscular body as it became exposed. Why was it that I couldn't control my feelings for him even despite what he was doing to me?
A smirk played at his lips as his dark orbs briefly returned to meet mine, travelling down the length of my body while his hunger returned and his hands roamed my body.
"Please, stop this!" I screamed as a breath finally made it to my lungs, and they filled with all of the air they needed.
He ignored it all and continued to touch me, his hands brushing against my skin. The refreshing coolness of the air rushed to my exposed skin, the temperature of the room rapidly increasing as beads of sweat hung on my temples. The filthy gaze that he directed upon me disgusted me, his breath warm as he nuzzled his head in the juncture of my neck before his lips pressed against the bare skin uncovered by his savage act.
I didn't want this to happen when he wasn't in the right state of mind, when he couldn't control what he was doing while the anger fueled his actions. If anything was to happen then I wanted it to happen in love, not as the hatred burned between us. I loved him, but I couldn't like this, and I knew this wouldn't stop until he realized that.
I writhed beneath him, as if it could tear his eyes from my body and lift them back up to meet with mine, knowing that I would be able to find him beneath all of the darkness that encompassed them with his anger.
"You're only going to hurt both of us by doing this."
He didn't stop, reaching up to pin my wrists down to the mattress to limit my movements as if he could also stop the words from escaping between my lips. I wasn't reaching through to him, the Sasuke that was stuck inside.
"Sasuke!" My frustration leaked through my voice in a cacophony of flurried words, the desperation following closely behind. "Look at me!"
He glanced up at the ceiling, but did nothing and said nothing. I knew it, I could sense his inner battle, the good and bad fighting for dominance inside of him, and I knew that if I pushed on, if I kept trying, I'd be able to let him out from where he was trapped inside.
"Look at me, Sasuke. Please."
If his eyes just met with mine.
"Shut up! Just shut up!" He roared, the impact of his voice blowing the short strands of hair from my face before they flopped back down and stuck down against my damp skin.
"No, you need to listen to me." I had reached the point where I was pleading.
"Why can't you just listen?"
I tried to force myself up against him, against the strength of his grip on my arms as the darkness faded in and out of his eyes, eyes which were still forcing themselves away from mine. His grip loosened slightly as one hand lifted and pressed against his forehead as he stared down at the white sheets between my legs and then raked his fingers through his hair, brushing his lashes. I had to take advantage of this state of his, if I was ever going to get him to listen and find the truth behind his actions.
My back peeled off the sheets, escaping from their comfort as I lifted my hands and shoved against Sasuke's torso, pushing him down until I was towering above him. He was trapped beneath me and once he had returned to his senses was putting all of his effort into forcing me off, the fuel burning inside of him with eyes lit in fury.
"Get the fuck off me!"
"I don't love him."
He still wouldn't look at me.
"But I saw you with him." He seethed, the venom dripping from his tongue.
I brought both of my hands up and brushed the hair away from his forehead as the wind fluttered in from the window and washed over us, the shiver running along the length of my spine. He was trying his hardest to force his eyes in any direction that I wasn't looking in, head twisting from side to side, eyes darting back and forth in his bid to avoid me. I had to make him look at me. Cupping his face in my palms, I tilted his head until it was straight beneath mine and tilted my own down until there was barely inches between us, absorbing his dark eyes with my own as his infuriation filtered through them.
"I told you that I loved you," I couldn't do anything now but whisper. "Didn't you believe me?"
"I…" He was still trying to battle with his inner demons, the fire in his eyes struggling to stay alive.
"I can still love you."
There was pain in his eyes, once all of the infuriation had escaped out of them, and I could tell he was hurt, by what his rage had done, and what it could have potentially made him do. Beneath it all, I could tell he was also frightened because of it, just as I had also been at the peak of his anger.
His lips parted. "I didn't mean for this to happen."
"I understand." I didn't really. But when my heart wanted nothing else but him, when it was yearning for him, felt pain for him, I couldn't make myself say anything else. Something that would have made him angry at himself for all he had managed to do to me that night, how much he had managed to break me.
"No, you don't."
He brought his hand up and pushed the hair away from my face, holding them at the nape of my neck, his hands warm against the coolness of my skin. I looked down at him and as our eyes glued together, I fell into his dark pools. I didn't even care about anything else at that moment. I didn't care about the fact that I was half naked. I didn't care about Sasuke's bare torso. I didn't care that our bodies were pressed against each other and the heat in the room was gradually increasing.
I just cared about him, and the depth of his eyes as I sunk into them, dangerously aware that I might struggle to lift myself back out of the calmness and serenity that I seemed to find within them. And all of the emotion he tried to hide behind his dark demeanor.
"I can't keep doing this to you," he whispered, the words light upon his tongue. "I can't hurt you like this."
He lifted his back off the mattress, with his thighs still stuck between both of mine and fingers still intertwined within my hair, until we were both sitting, bodies pressed together. He loosened my hair from his grasp before he brushed his fingers down my cheeks and lit up the skin beneath his touch as the pain seared through me, from where he had hurt me earlier. I could feel his heart beating and sensed his inner fury as he glanced into my eyes – I didn't want him to hurt himself because of it.
He leaned in and brushed his lips against the spot he had touched while the blood rushed to my cheeks.
"I don't want to hurt you anymore." He was even quieter now. "I don't want to break you apart."
"You don't have to."
He pressed his eyes shut as if his head hurt, his lashes dark against the paleness of his skin. "You shouldn't trust me like that, Sakura. We both know I will end up hurting you again."
"I'm in love with you." I'd said that word so many times that night. Love. And now it felt nothing but heavy against my lips. "What can I do?"
His eyes fluttered open, and he did nothing but stare at me for a few moments, as if trying to save that image of me at that moment in his mind, before he leaned his face in towards mine and pressed our lips together. He kissed with a fierceness I'd never felt from him before, his lips not soft and tentative like they usually were, but hungry and rushed as if I was going to leave him. His tongue played with mine as the heat just soared and I met him stroke for stroke, the passion encompassing all of my being.
His arms wrapped around my waist, hands caressing my back as he slowly lowered me back down to the comfort of the mattress, my pink hair fanning out around me. I brushed my fingers against his cheeks and along his scars as he lifted his mouth away and his face hovered above me
"Stay," He heaved, struggling to hold onto his breaths. "Stay alive."
"Stay with me."
Two souls, so broken and fragile, holding each other into the dimness of the night, bodies bare.
Lips molding together, hungry and yearning for the other's touch in the heated passion of that moment.
The woman's back arches with her lover's touch as his fingers caress her form, stroking her, feeling every part of her and while she moans and yearns for more, he deepens his touch within her.
She reaches her peak as he holds her and as he, her lover, lifts himself away, her eyes flutter open and are drawn towards his erect member.
He rakes a hand through his dark hair. He says nothing.
She doesn't either, but tips her head down in a way that he knows he has her approval and enters her slowly, her taste still lingering upon his tongue.
Her eyes squeeze shut, he worries that he's hurt her, but a moan escapes from her lips, and he presses himself into her, faster, hungrier.
They both know that things between them can never be the same again.
AN: I apologise for the slight rushed parts here and there in this chapter, but at this moment in time, don't really know how to fix it so...yeah. Also, apologies for the fact that I didn't actually write a sex scene. The original chapter did but when I read over it, I just felt that the sex scene, because of the fact it was badly written (by me two years ago), kind of destroyed the strength of the emotion between our two characters here and I'm not one who feels that they could properly fix it so I've had to 'imply' that the sex happens. So yes, I apologise but hopefully the rest of the chapter makes up for it? Maybe?...please
Anyways, thanks for reading, and for the reviews last chapter, I do enjoy reading them (even if I don't reply, I know that you're there, I love you, kidding not kidding),
coolgirlaamy xx