Gibbs had barely sat down at his desk and carefully positioned the first cup of coffee of the day when Abby burst into the squad room.

"Guess what?" she said.

Gibbs raised weary eyes to her face,

"You know I don't do guesses, Abby."

"Please, please, please. Pretty please," she begged.

Gibbs took a long draught of his coffee and stared at her over the brim of the cup. Nobody had ever won a staring competition with Gibbs and Abby conceded defeat quickly.

"But," she said threateningly, "I could beat you. The Scuito stare is famous in the South. So one day, Mister, one day …"

Gibbs continued to stare.

"But not today," she said as she jumped in excitement, "because I can't wait to tell you."

Another sip of coffee and a continued gaze.

"Aren't you in the least bit curious?" pleaded Abby. As no answer came it almost seemed as if Abby would take up the staring competition after all but Tim arrived at that moment.

"What are you doing here, Abby?" he asked.

Sensing easier meat, Abby scowled at Gibbs and turned her attention to McGee, "Guess," she ordered.

"Abby!" barked Gibbs, "we've got work to do. What do you want to tell us?"

Abby narrowed her eyes at this but decided this was as good an invitation as she was going to get from Gibbs.

"I went on to the MCC website," she said.

"MCC?" asked Tim.

"Surely you remember, Timothy," said Ducky arriving to deliver an autopsy report, "Anthony's postcard which told us that he had been to a cricket match at Lords, home of the Marylebone Cricket Club."

"Yes, yes, yes!" said Abby still vibrating with excitement, "so I went on to their website."

"Why?" asked Gibbs.

"Because I miss Tony," she answered sadly, "don't you miss Tony?"

Gibbs chose not to answer this, "So how would going on their website help?" he asked.

"Good question, Gibbs," said Abby triumphantly.

"And the answer is?" pressed Ducky.

"Oh. Well, I wondered if there might be pictures of special guests on their site."

"Er, Abby," said McGee hesitantly, "I'm not sure the cricket club would think that Tony was that special a guest." He saw Abby open her mouth to argue the point so hurried on, "I mean I know we think Tony's special," he crossed his fingers under his desk, "but they don't know him like we do."

Abby sighed, "I know … but really I thought as his uncle is a Lord or a Knight or something, that perhaps he'd count."

Ducky considered giving a short instructive talk on the differences between Lords, Baronets and Knights but there was a cadaver awaiting his attention and he was curious to know what Abby had found so he just said, "And did Sir Charles count?"

Abby beamed, "Yes! He did! Look …" and she tapped on her tablet and brought up some photos from the MCC website. She thrust it under Gibbs' nose so he wouldn't have a chance to pretend indifference and the others crowded (carefully) around him.

"'Sir Charles Smithson, recently retired Admiral, visits Lords with his nephews Crispian Ware-Paddington and Anthony DiNozzo," read Tim, "pictured during the lunch break'. The games are so long they stop for lunch?" he asked. Ducky nodded. "Wow," said McGee, "that's more than Gibbs lets us do while we're working." He looked at Gibbs whose stares were working well that day, "but that's fine, Boss. Always got more important things to do than eat …"

"Is that the Crispian who inherited Anthony's Great Uncle Clive's fortune?" asked Ducky as he peered to look at the picture.

"Yes," said Abby discontentedly, "that so sucks."

Tim always hated to see Abby unhappy so tried to look on the bright side, "but Abby, if Tony had inherited all that money he might have left NCIS and gone to live in England permanently."

Abby inclined her head as she considered the wisdom of Tim's words.

"There is a strong familial resemblance between Mr Ware-Paddington and Anthony," observed Ducky, "they have similar eyes."

"Tony looks tired," observed Jimmy who had come to remind Ducky about the body waiting for him.

"Not surprised," muttered McGee, "after all those parties he's been going to."

Gibbs grunted but took a closer look at the picture to make his own assessment. Abby hit McGee on the arm,

"Don't be mean, Timmy. He's probably tired because of the time difference. It's tiring being at the wrong time."

McGee decided not to argue and he had a good distraction at hand, "Hey," he said, "I went past the mail room on the way in and they gave me this new package from Tony."

Abby hit Tim on the other arm, "why didn't you say so?" she demanded.

McGee thought of pointing out that getting a word in edgeways had been difficult but, thinking that this was another argument he would lose, settled for opening the large envelope. He saw his name on a postcard with a picture of a catfish on it, and began to read,

McDolittle

Went to London Zoo the other day. I was missing Kate so paid a visit to the Aquarium. Picked out this card as a reminder to you to look after Kate. Remember to smile as you feed her, she's sensitive. Her water needs changing every week. Don't lose her down the plughole when you do the transfer and talk to her while you're moving her, she needs to feel secure. Don't worry, I trust you … well, more than I do the others.

Remember Gibbs is only allowed one extra B!

Tony.

McGee swallowed nervously as he remembered that he planned to clean Kate's bowl that night. Deciding to defer worrying about that, he handed a card with a picture of a bat hanging upside down to Abby.

Abs

You'd like the bat enclosure. Sort of dark and creepy. Not suggesting you like dark and creepy … well, actually, I suppose I am. They have this 'Night Life' area where you can see all these animals that live in the dark. You'd have liked it. I did to start with but it turns out that rats like the dark as well so, well, you know … so I didn't get the whole experience.

Love to Bert, Major Mass Spec and the rest of the guys and gals.

Tony

"Oh," said Abby, "that's so sweet."

Ducky had a card with a picture of an owl on it and the message made him smile,

Ducky

Saw this wise old owl and thought of you!

I'm very well.

Tony

Jimmy's card had a picture of a wide-eyed lemur and the message from Tony was similar,

Autopsy Gremlin

Saw this and thought of you!

Look after Ducky

Tony

Jimmy looked puzzled but the others immediately saw a likeness between him and the picture of the nervously expectant little creature.

"What picture has Gibbs' card got?" asked Abby.

"Hmm, don't know," said McGee, "there's an envelope here. Don't recognise the writing though."

Abby snatched it out of his hands, "it says Special Agent Tibbs," she said.

Gibbs took it out of her hands with a scowl.

"Boss, that might not be for you," pointed out Tim but, catching Gibbs' eye, continued nervously, "but it's more likely to be for you than anyone else."

"Thank you, Agent McGregor," said Gibbs pointedly. McGee scuttled back to his desk.

Gibbs' card had a picture of a cow on it. The envelope also contained a sheet of paper.

Hey Boss

Thought you could picture how many steaks you could get out of this. Not in London at the moment. Visiting Aunt Caroline at their place in Norfolk.

It seemed that Tony had been interrupted as the message was not completed. Gibbs turned to the sheet of paper.

Dear Special Agent Gibbs

As you can see from the card, Tony is visiting my husband and me in Norfolk along with his cousin Crispian.

I don't want you to be alarmed but Tony has had a slight accident which has, for the moment, prevented him from completing the card. I'm not sure what happened but he and Cris went for a walk down to the village and seem to have had some sort of mishap while crossing a stream. They came back laughing about it but Tony has a mild concussion and has gone to bed.

Don't worry, we will look after him. My husband is going to London tomorrow and will deliver this package to the American Embassy.

Please remember me to Director Vince and Agent McGoo and, of course, to Doctor Mallard.

With my good wishes

Caroline Smithson

"Is everything all right, Jethro?" asked Ducky, "you appear concerned."

Gibbs sighed, "DiNozzo's got a concussion."

"What?" screeched Abby, "How?"

"Don't know, Abs," said Gibbs, "his Aunt Caroline says he's gone to stay at her place with his cousin. Seems they had some sort of accident while they were out for a walk. She says he'll be fine."

"But, but," said Abby in distress.

"Now, now, Abby," said Ducky soothingly, "I'm sure the British health service will deal more than adequately with Anthony's treatment."

"They'd better," said Abby darkly. "And what was he doing with Crispian anyway? They don't like each other. Oh!" she gasped.

"What?" asked Jimmy in alarm.

"Perhaps he challenged him to a duel!"

"Who challenged who?" asked Tim

"Crispian challenged Tony, of course," said Abby.

"Why 'of course'?" said Tim.

"I don't know," said Abby illogically, "perhaps he's after Tony's money."

"I didn't know he had any," said Jimmy, "and why would Tony leave it to him anyway?"

"Good point, Jimmy," Abby thought for a moment, "I know! He forged Uncle Clive's will! Tony should have inherited all that money!"

"Abigail," said Ducky, "I'm sure this was just an unfortunate accident. And we do know that Anthony is prone to such things."

"Hmm," said Abby, obviously unconvinced, "I know what I'll do."

"What?" asked Jimmy, perhaps picturing Abby getting on the next flight to the UK.

"I'll do a Tarot reading for Tony. That'll tell me what's going on."

She turned and stalked out of the squad room, muttering under her breath. Tim followed her anxiously while Ducky and Jimmy went to attend to their latest customer.

Gibbs, left alone, buried his face in his hands for a moment. He wondered how DiNozzo managed to cause so much trouble even when he was thousands of miles away.