Och aye, McWriter

Been to Edinburgh. Still can't quite say it like Ducky does. Went to the Scott Monument today – you'd love it (not) – 200 feet high with lots of spiral staircases. I got a certificate for climbing the 287 steps. Great cardio exercise and spectacular, dizzying views over Edinburgh. No, still can't say it right. Worked up a good appetite for some scones and shortbread but not for Sir Walter Scott novels. Although Ivanhoe was OK. The movie, I mean – not the book. Don't tell Ducky.

If you sign up for that hypnotherapy to get over your height thing, you might like the view from the Monument. Card has a picture of the view.

Show it to Kate, so she knows where I am.

Cheerio the noo (that's Scottish for goodbye)

Tony

"Dispatches from DiNozzo?" asked Gibbs as he returned from visiting Ducky.

"Very good, Jethro," said Ducky approvingly, "very alliterative."

Gibbs looked blankly at Ducky. McGee, seeing that the doctor might give a lengthy explanation, broke in,

"Yes, Boss. Arrived while you were with Ducky. Tony's in Edinburgh. I didn't think you'd want me to call you away. Not just for postcards. That was right, wasn't it? Not saying you don't look forward to dispatches from DiNozzo but I just thought you wouldn't want to be interrupted. Er …"

"What you got?" asked Gibbs, feeling a wave of satisfaction that he could still unnerve McGee.

"Um, this has got your name on, Ducky," and he handed Ducky a small package.

"I wonder if perhaps Anthony has paid a visit to the Edinburgh Medical School," mused Ducky. Tim listened carefully trying to work out how Ducky said Edinburgh differently. "Ah," he said, "how charming." He began to read his postcard.

Dear Ducky

Visited the Royal Yacht Britannia today. I wouldn't be surprised if you had been on board when it was still in service. I was trying to think what to get you when I saw this and hoped that it might bring back happy memories for you. At least it won't be yappy!

Tony

"What is it?" asked Tim.

Ducky held it up, "it's a toy corgi. You know, of course, that the British royal family is very fond of corgis. It will indeed bring back happy memories and I won't have to take it out for walks."

"Oh, that's so cute!" said Abby who had once again been alerted by the mail room and had arrived in time to see Ducky hold up the stuffed toy. It was plain to see that she coveted it and equally plain that Ducky was not going to relinquish it easily.

"There's something for you," said Tim, handing her a parcel.

"Hi, Abs

Here's another card for the Tony wall. You have got a Tony wall going, haven't you? This is a picture of one of the State bedrooms; not sure it's quite your style but it's pretty cool. Visited the Tea Room – you'd definitely like the cupcakes!

Saw this and thought he might keep Bert company.

Ciao

Tony

"Aww," said Abby, as she took the wrapping off, "it's a Captain Bear! Look, he's got a little sweater and a little cap. Bert'll love him. And the card will look great on the Tony wall. Why haven't you got a Tony wall up here, Gibbs?"

Gibbs was saved from having to answer by another arrival.

"I've cleaned all the pipettes, Doctor," said Jimmy, "and I heard from Ernie who heard from Alfred who heard from …"

"Yes, yes, Mr Palmer," said Ducky, "it is quite all right. We have received some more dispatches from DiNozzo."

"That's very good, Doctor," said Jimmy approvingly, "very alliterative."

"Actually it was not I who coined the phrase, but Agent Gibbs," said Ducky.

"Oh. That's very … um, well done, Agent Gibbs," said Jimmy uncomfortably as Gibbs favoured him with one of his sardonic stares.

"Here you are, Palmer," said McGee hastily.

"Oh, look, Doctor. It's a picture of the infirmary on board," the two medics gazed in interest at the medical facilities. "And a tin of shortbread. We can have it with our tea this afternoon." Jimmy beamed at the thought of having a treat to share with his mentor. Ducky showed the corgi to his assistant and explained the royal connection.

"Director," said McGee seeing Vance about to stride past, "Tony sent you something."

"Indeed," said the Director pausing in his stately progress.

Tony hadn't written a card for the Director but there was a post-it on a box of Britannia fudge which read, 'thought the Director's children might enjoy these.'

Gibbs managed to intercept McGee passing the box to Leon and took a moment or two to examine it.

"Half expected to see a picture of a boxer on it," he remarked as he handed it on.

"Uh, I don't think the Royal Family have boxer dogs, Agent Gibbs," said Jimmy anxiously.

"Thank you, Palmer," said Gibbs not taking his eyes off the Director.

"And what have you got, Gibbs?" asked Leon who seemed willing to linger for a while if unwilling to rise to the boxer bait.

"Sorry, Boss, I nearly forgot," said McGee, "here you are."

Hi, Boss

I'm here in Bonnie Scotland. Hope this doesn't set Ducky off on too many tangents!

You'd have liked the yacht although it seems a bit big for a yacht to me. But it's got good clean lines – that's what you look for, isn't it?

Think this is as far north as we'll go. Going to head back down to the West Country. Might do some rock climbing on Dartmoor.

Hope you like the coffee.

DiNozzo

Showing rare tact, Gibbs omitted the message about Ducky when he read the card out loud. He looked with approval at the picture of the boat and at the bag of Britannia coffee.

"What did you get, Timmy?" asked Abby who was still hugging Captain Bear.

"Nothing," said Tim trying not to be disappointed but he tipped the envelope upside-down in case he has missed anything. A packet of lollipops slid out. "Lollipops," he said happily.

The Director had slipped away so didn't hear Jimmy say thoughtfully, "Tony doesn't seem to be doing much work, does he? I thought this was a work secondment, not a vacation."

"You are forgetting, Mr Palmer," said Ducky, "that Anthony was not fit for a return to full duties. I am sure he is doing all that is required of him."

"He's working smarter, not harder," said Abby with a smile, "although," she added discontentedly, "he said 'we' so it looks as if Cousin Crispian is still hanging around."

"Did you find his date of birth?" asked McGee talking round a lollipop, "you know, to cast his horoscope."

"No," said Abby even more unhappily, "it's really hard to find out anything about him. Apart from that photo from the cricket ground, he doesn't seem to pop up anywhere. Oh well, I'm going to introduce Captain Tony to Bert."

"Captain Tony?" queried McGee.

"Can you of a better name?" asked Abby, "Gibbs, what do you … oh, where'd he go?" She said as she turned to Gibbs' desk only to see that he had disappeared.

"He's on his way to visit the Director," said Ducky, proving that, although he was elderly and not a field agent, his observation skills were still formidable, "come, Mr Palmer. I believe we have some shortbread to test."

"Leon," said Gibbs, catching up to the Director on the stairs.

"Gibbs?" said Vance, turning to face him.

"Palmer made a good point. DiNozzo doesn't seem to be doing a whole lot of work out there."

"And?"

"It's not like you to let people off the leash this much. Especially DiNozzo."

"Don't you trust Agent DiNozzo?"

"Sure, I do, but you don't usually."

"Perhaps I'm following your gut instead of mine," said the Director mildly.

Gibbs continued with his own train of thought, "Though it does seem to me that the places DiNozzo is going to are near a lot of military bases in the UK."

"Gibbs," said the Director seeming to lose patience with this cat and mouse game, "Agent DiNozzo is submitting reports as required."

"I haven't seen any of them," said Gibbs.

"They're classified," said Vance, "you'll see them if you need to." He turned to go.

"You send DiNozzo on an undercover mission, Leon?" asked Gibbs.

Vance turned back.

"No, Agent Gibbs, I didn't send him on an undercover mission." He delivered a directorial stare and resumed his ascent.