To your grave I spoke, holding a red, red rose
Gusts of freezing cold air whisper to me, that you are gone.
- A New Hope, Broken Iris
The tunnel ahead of them lit up with a thousand tiny laser beams.
"Shinra's security sensors," Cloud announced. "We can't go any further this way."
"So... what? We're just gonna turn back? No way!"
Cissnei's eyes fell upon an air duct just as Cloud knelt down to inspect it. She smiled. He thinks more like a Turk then a SOLDIER, sometimes. A SOLDIER would just have barged on blindly ahead, and the devil take security sensors. Especially one particular SOLDIER; Cissnei couldn't count on her fingers the number of missions Zack had botched with his 'charge first, think later' mindset.
She would have given anything for more of those botched missions with him.
"These are the maintenance walkways," Cissnei said when they emerged. "If we go straight ahead then take two consecutive turns to the left, we'll be in Mako Reactor 5."
"...Cissnei, have you memorised Shinra's maintenance walkways?" Biggs asked in disbelief.
"You are talking to an ex-Turk, you know."
"Right, then. Cloud, you and Barret go set the bomb. Tifa, Cissnei and I can wait here to keep watch."
"Good idea. Cloud, with me."
They were taking far too long.
Cissnei didn't want to worry, but she did anyways. Worrying was another of those useless traits of hers that she just couldn't seem to eradicate.
Clanging noises came from the corridor, which did nothing to set Cissnei at ease. She shared a look with Tifa; Tifa's eyes were wide with worry too. If nothing else, she wanted Cloud to be okay for Tifa's sake; she could, at least, hope that they might have a happy ending. It was probably too much to ask of the world, but she didn't want to see any of her new friends (so they're your friends now? They could all die at any time, you know) go through the things she'd been through.
At long last, Cloud ran out of the reactor followed by Barret. "We ran into Shinra soldiers. It's a trap," he said breathlessly.
"We should..."
Cissnei took a step back, staring at a point behind him. Cloud turned to follow her line of sight.
President Shinra.
Cissnei tensed up. If she bolted, he'd definitely notice her. And maybe there was no need to panic. After all, President Shinra rarely interacted directly with the Turks - mostly he just handed down orders - and she'd never really stood out. There was no need to assume he'd recognise her.
But he might. And if President Shinra found out that an ex-Turk was running around with AVALANCHE... There wasn't even supposed to be such a thing as an ex-Turk.
"Hmm..." the President began. "So you all must be that... what was it?"
Shinra's attitude did nothing to help Cissnei relax. Of course he'd act unconcerned. Shinra wasn't the type to admit that he saw something as a threat. He'd just make sure they quickly ceased to be one, then pretended that they never had been.
A helicopter pulled up and hovered behind the president.
"Avalanche!" yelled Barret. "And don't you forget it." Of course, Barret wouldn't see through Shinra. He was exactly the type to fall for his act and react to it with indignant rage. What he should have been was worried, not angry. If President Shinra felt the need to put in an appearance then they had caught his attention, whether he deliberately forgot their name or not, and whatever Barret may have thought, that was not a good thing. "And you're President Shinra, huh?"
Just leave, Cissnei mentally begged. Leave now. And please don't recognise me.
Besides her, Cissnei saw that Cloud was just as tense as he was, but he looked more angry than worried. Please, please, please don't do anything stupid or reckless. She didn't know anywhere near enough about Cloud to predict what he'd do in this kind of situation and what she did know was way too inconsistent. He might rage silently - what she was hoping for - but he might just as easily explode at him.
"Hey -"
No, Cloud, don't! Gritting her teeth, Cissnei elbowed Cloud as subtly as she could. The worst thing he could do was attempt some kind of confrontation at that point.
"Huh." Damn, Cloud's got his attention now. "You look familiar. Weren't in SOLDIER, were you?"
"Yes, I was." Trying that cover on the President? Real smart, Cloud. Real smart.
"Forgive me, but I can't say I remember you. Well. I guess you were no Sephiroth. Now, he was brilliant. Perhaps too brilliant..."
Sephiroth? Somehow, Cissnei had forgotten about the him. She wondered why President Shinra would bring him up. He'd been involved in... whatever had happened at Nibelheim... and Shinra's general attitude to anything relating to that incident had been to hush it up and pretend it didn't exist.
Occasionally, they would deem it necessary to deploy the entire goddamn infantry against an innocent man just to make sure there were no loose ends.
Zack, Cloud and Sephiroth had been deployed to Nibelheim together. Zack was dead now, Cloud was here and Sephiroth... Cissnei had no idea. She'd assumed dead as well because he would have been too valuable to just let Hojo experiment on; if he'd still been alive Shinra would certainly have found a way to make further use of him.
What does he mean, 'perhaps too brilliant'?
"Don't care about none of that," Barret was yelling. "This place's going up with a big bang soon! Serves y'all right..."
"And such a waste of good fireworks, just to get rid of vermin like you..."
"Barret," Cissnei hissed. "He's planning something. Be careful."
"Shut it, Cissnei! I know what I'm doing."
...And don't use that name! "Huh?" The President turned to her. Damn it, Barret! "Cissnei... yes, I think I do remember you. Weren't you supposed to be dead? Imagine, a Turk with AVALANCHE. I always thought Turks were the epitome of loyalty. I suppose I'll have to rethink that stance."
Cissnei couldn't miss the veiled threat in that statement. When he returns to Shinra, he'll make the Turks pay for letting me get away.
I can't let that happen.
She had a revolver in her hand. The President had no obvious protection. There were a thousand reasons why shooting the President of Shinra would be a bad idea. It would certainly be an extremely bold move with far-reaching consequences. In other words, exactly the kind of thing Cissnei would never consider doing under normal circumstances.
"Do you understand what this means, Cissnei?... Very well, then. I will trust your judgement."
You shouldn't have trusted me, Tseng.
The thought of what President Shinra might do if he had an inkling that Tseng had gone behind his back turned Cissnei's blood cold - and now he definitely had that inkling.
She hadn't thought of the danger she was putting him in then. With her heart freshly broken she hadn't been able to think straight about anything, and Tseng should have seen that. Instead he'd 'trusted her judgement'.
She hadn't even been grateful. She'd been angry and sickened at herself and, by extension, her comrades, for not doing more to help Zack, for hunting down a thousand people like him who had had the misfortune of getting on Shinra's bad side. She'd walked out of his office hating Tseng for the cold way he assessed the situation, for being capable of not caring when she hadn't been.
Now, she felt even guiltier because of that. Isn't it bad enough that Zack's blood is on my hands?
Cissnei locked eyes with President Shinra. The man who seemed to make it his business to kill or destroy everything she loved, coldly, impersonally, without even realising it. Somehow she knew he knew what she was about to do, so there was not point in hesitating further.
"I'd made arrangements for a playmate for you, but that would mean running the risk of this beautiful, dangerous young lady here getting away, so instead I think I'll just -"
Cissnei didn't give him a chance to finish. Her gun was in her hand, her finger on the trigger, and he saw the motion, smiled, and pressed a button.
The world exploded around her.
"Cissnei. I've got you."
Cissnei felt a hand holding tightly to her wrist and reached up. Tifa grabbed her other arm.
She was perched precariously on the edge of the bridge; a hole had collapsed in its middle. There was no sign of President Shinra; he must have flown away after setting a bomb of his own. So he'd do Avalanche's job for them, just to make sure I'm dead? He must really be worried about the company secrets I know.
She hadn't killed him. She'd tried to and she'd failed, but now she'd definitely antagonised him. Her mind spun back to Tseng's words, and she couldn't help thinking that she'd essentially made hurting herself into an art form. Herself, and everyone she made the mistake of getting close to.
"Hold on to me, okay?" Tifa said softly as she attempted to pull Cissnei up. What would happen if she just dropped me, I wonder? Some people said there was a lifestream which people joined after they died. Cissnei had never believed them; she couldn't be religious. Faith just... wasn't her thing. Personally, she thought people just ceased to be. Like Zack; disappearing, suddenly, and leaving behind a huge hole of absence.
Tifa finally finished pulling her up, and the moment in which she'd thought she might fall was over. She felt a little dizzy, like she couldn't figure out what just happen. I tried to kill the President, and failed, and now the Turks are going to be in for it because of me.
"Has anyone got a Cure? Cissnei's injured."
Injured? Strange. She didn't feel injured. She barely felt anything; she'd gone completely numb.
"We'll deal with it later. Tifa..."
"She needs a Cure, Barret."
"Tifa, Cloud's gone."
"...Gone? What do you mean, gone?"
"He must have fallen into the gap. I don't know; it was too confusing. But he isn't here anymore."
"He... he was in SOLDIER." Tifa sound like she was searching desperately for reassurance. Cissnei couldn't offer it to her. No, he wasn't. He has mako, but does it work the same for him as it would for a SOLDIER? "Right? I'm sure he'll be fine."
And anyways, SOLDIERs aren't invincible. They only like to think they are.
Cissnei blinked and waited for reality to reassert itself. When her eyes reopened she was still on a broken bridge leading to a mako reactor; she was still to blame for botching an attempt to protect her former comrades from a danger she herself had thoughtlessly placed them in; Tifa was softly holding back sobs (I know how this feels; I'm so sorry, Tifa) and Cloud still wasn't there, and it seemed like that was her fault as well.
A sickening feeling welled up in the pit of her stomach. She'd failed Zack; Zack had given his life to protect Cloud; now it looked like Cloud was dead because she'd made a stupid mistake.
"Cissnei, can you stand?" This voice was Biggs'. So he's all right. That's... something, at least.
"Of course I -" Cissnei attempted to get to her feet but her knees buckled. Biggs caught her and offered her his shoulder to lean on.
"We've got to get a move on!"
Cissnei kept staring at the gap in the bridge. Zack died to protect Cloud! Up until that point, she'd at least managed to take comfort that his end had been heroic, just like he'd wanted. He'd saved someone; an innocent young cadet with blonde hair and such wide blue eyes.
Legacies and heroes meant nothing to Cissnei, but she knew exactly how much they'd meant to Zack.
All that for nothing. You should have just run, Zack. Left Cloud behind and run. That was what she would have done; what any Turk would have done. But she'd loved Zack because he could never have done it.
She'd wanted to at least be able to believe he'd died for something; now that something was gone just as he was, and the absence was painful. He just fell from a bridge. So pointless.
Well, don't you know better by now than to think life has some kind of inherent meaning?
Turning away was one of the most difficult things Cissnei had ever done. After Zack's death everything had become about Cloud to her, finding him, keeping him safe for Zack's sake. Now, it seemed like she was leaving Zack behind utterly, finally and forever.
Cissnei never cried. But her eyes were still stinging.
Cloud opened his eyes. His landing had been... unexpectedly soft. Which was not to say it hadn't been painful. He felt like one could reasonably expect to feel after falling from an exploding reactor bridge.
And to top it all of, there were voices in his head again. If I try to claim I'm not crazy, will it just sound like I'm in denial at this point?
...Take it slow now. Little by little...
I swear I'm sane, okay?!
"Hello?" He heard a soft, female voice calling. Thankfully, this particular one was not come from inside his head.
...Tifa? No, couldn't be. Tifa would be more worried. "Cissnei?" The moment he said it, he realised that guess couldn't be right either. The voice was too soft to be Cissnei's. And besides, hadn't Cissnei been on the bridge with him when he'd fallen? That meant she couldn't be there with him, right then. So it had to be someone else. Are the others okay? He'd heard Cissnei scream as he fell, and none of them had Mako treatments.
"Oh! You're awake! I'm really glad." The girl speaking was leaning over him and he could see now that she definitely wasn't Cissnei. Light chestnut hair framed a face with green eyes and a friendly, open expression. So different from Cissnei's closed-off, unreadable face. "Are you okay? You really scared me when you fell. Here! Let me give you a hand." The girl gently pulled him to his feet.
"You're in a church in the Sector Five slums. My name is Aerith."
Well. That's... got to be the longest chapter I've written to date. I certainly tried to pack a lot into it. Was it too much? Too little? Too fast? You tell me. Sdphantom10, I definitely know what you mean about my pacing. It does tend to get rather slow. I'm glad you're fond of it, though.
Shade the Hero; how familiar are you with the plot of the original game? I'd recommend checking out the tvtropes page or if you have more time on your hands you could look up the game script. Basically, Cloud doesn't remember Zack because his memories got screwed up by mako and he thinks he is Zack or rather that he has a large part of Zack's life story. He'll snap out of it eventually. "Oh, don't mind me. When I don't see anything wrong with the story plot or the grammar, I usually just write my opinions and thoughts in the review instead." - I'm really glad you're doing that, I love knowing what people think about my stories. Thanks for reviewing and I hope you keep liking it!
Irish-Brigid - Yep, confusing it is. And Cissnei in particular is very confused about her feelings, I think.
Thank you to everyone who's reviewing this! I really, really do appreciate the support.