Chapter One

I tried to tell myself that I wouldn't miss it. That, somehow, after a few months had come and gone, I would no longer feel the nearly unbearable pain that even the idea of its loss brings.

I took a deep breath, trying to fill every inch of my soul with the scent of the trees, the water, the soil. The scent of home. My home.

"You still have a week, you know," he said, doing his best to keep his voice light and teasing.

Although my back was turned to Jake, I knew he was there. His scent was unmistakable to me now. I knew it better than my own.

"I know," I replied, not bothering to turn around and face him. "One week before..." I couldn't finish my own sentence.

"Wanna talk about it?" he offered, coming to stand next to me.

"There's nothing left to talk about. I knew it was coming, I knew we couldn't stay forever….it's just…." I broke my train of thought. "No, I definitely do not want to talk about it."

I caught Jacob nodding out of the corner of my eye, having been stubborn enough to keep my face forward since he came up behind me.

Jake's nod sent an all too familiar pang of guilt through my veins. For everything I was giving up to make the move, he was giving up double, triple even. He was leaving his family, his home, his friends, his pack. All to follow my family and I to another cold, remote part of the world.

"You know I'd come back and visit Jake, if you just stay here-"

"No, Renesmee," he said firmly, cutting me off. "I've already made my decision. Made it over ten years ago, now."

I closed my eyes, took another deep breath, and turned to face him head on. I hated when he talked about it, about us, like this. Like I was some chain he voluntarily chose to hang around his neck.

"That has nothing to do with this. You can make your own decisions based off what you want now. Ten years is a long time an-"

"And what, Nes? My decision to go is based off things I want now, the same thing I wanted ten years ago! Do you not understand that? Can you simply not fathom why I'm doing this?"

Jake's growing anger was feeding my own, my words getting twisted from the acid on my tongue.

For all the things that came easy to us, getting along was not one of them. Well, technically, that's not true. Jake and I do get along, really well actually. Just for short periods of time.

"You know what? I can't understand that. I completely do not understand why you're doing this, Jacob! I'm not worth it! Can't you see that one day you're going to wake up and see that I'm not worth the price you're paying? You're losing so much more than you're gaining, and I can honestly say, I do not understand it." My rant had burned the majority of the anger away, leaving me with just the realization of my newly spoken words.

Jake let me have my moment, searching my eyes when it was over. Maybe he was making sure my anger had truly passed or maybe he was just checking to see how sincere I really was. Either way, he quickly closed the distance between us to wrap his arms around my shoulders. Considering the size difference, this maneuver quickly had me enveloped in nothing but Jake.

"Stop the pity party, please. I'm pretty hurt that you don't think I know what I'm doing." His voice was light once again, no trace of anger detectable.

"I never realized how passionate you were about Canada. Do you already have the flag hanging up in your room?" I asked, my chuckle apparent even through the sarcasm.

"Please. The flag hanging on my wall? I do have some dignity you know," he replied, his voice as teasing as mine.

My laughter filled the minuscule space between my head and his chest.

"It looks so much better as a bedspread anyway."