Hey guys! It's been a while, but I'm back and ready to update!

Contest Update: To the person who submitted "The Shining" for a title, congrats! Don't get too excited though! You didn't win… however, you DID make me have a nightmare about that Stephen King novel, which gave me some inspiration for another story :) To everyone else: the contest isn't over yet, so keep sending in those ideas! The winner gets either a TBWTEE outtake of their choice OR gets to read 3 chapters of TBWTEE before they're posted.

Shoutouts to: DreamDark, vampiremom1221(yes, Tori is awesome, glad you noticed ;P), HystericalMess (Oh my gnome! Thank you for the hilarious review!), Greekfreak11 (everyone seems to wish that I'd stay sick… why people? I'd be so much more useful to you if I was healthy! :P), piercingemeralds2 (your review made me smile like an idiot the entire day! Thank you SO SO much!), not-so-innocent011, Jamie Kay Huntt (sorry for causing all those freak-outs! I'd promise to keep the rest of the story stress-free, but that'd be no fun!), MorbidMandy (Have you made that voodoo doll yet? :P), JessiKa xoxo (Welcome back to fanfic land! I'm glad you like badass Tori!), cowgirl137 (I'm trying, but what if they CAN'T be fixed?), Fanpire4000 for her awesome book recs, kenhat (thanks for volunteering, but I can't let you track down people from the net… they might be creepy stalkers or fanfic writers or something!), burning (Derek meets the Hulk would probably scare the crap outta Simon!), c.a.a (Imma let you finish, but…), Megan1339, and agony-fairy.

*Breaths out dramatically* OK, there are my shoutouts for the last 3 or 4 updates. Enjoy the chapter!

Disclaimer: Steph and Christina are relaxing after a long month of exams and studying.

Steph: So I'm guessing the silk sheets thing didn't work for you…?

Christina: Did you really expect it to work out? I mean, I have 2 older brothers and I live with my parents!

Steph: *Laughs*

Christina: *Being overdramatic*
Why can't I have the best of all worlds?

Steph: *Raises eyebrows at the Hannah Montana reference*
Because that last sentence of yours was SO grammatically incorrect that you angered the silk sheet gods AND Microsoft word. Look at that green squiggly line!

Christina: *Sad*
What about Jesus? He's my homeboy! Is he mad at me too?

Steph: Buddah, Jesus, Mohammed… take your pick! THEYZ ALL ANGRY WITCHU!

Christina: *Angry*
Oh yeah? Well, your fantasy is NEVER gunna happen, so there! You're never gunna own DP, and you're never going to meet Peeta OR Derek! You know what that means? The gods are angry witchu too!

Steph: *Shrugs*
Probably. They wanted me to off you, but I told them I needed you for disclaimers…

Christina: *Eyes widen in horror*

Steph: *Smiles wide*
Yupp, that's right. From now on, you're my bitch.
*Winks*

Note: The disclaimer is not meant to offend anyone, so don't send me hate mail :(

History

"History is a series of crimes, follies, and misfortunes."

-Edward Gibbon

"Chloe..." he placed his fingers underneath my chin and gently turned my face towards him. I looked up and met his gaze. "Would it change things if I told you... if I told you that I love you and don't want you to get hurt?"

I'd laid against a tree after Tori'd pulled me away, and we'd talked for a few hours before she decided she needed to get some sleep. I agreed with her and assured her I'd do the same, but 3 hours after she'd begun to snore I was still sitting against the tree, thinking about everything that had transpired in the past couple of days. I felt like my head was going to explode – like someone'd cut open my skull and stuffed it with scenes, sounds, and words. I ached for the comfort of my journal, where I could write it all down and sort out how I felt – figure out what I needed to do. Everything was so out of control, and it made me anxious, knowing that I couldn't do anything to alter or change the outcome of a situation or choice we made…

I looked around, studying Simon and Tori's sleeping forms – would they make it through this 'war'? Would I? The way Tori'd described it, kids like her, Simon, and Derek had been trained since birth as soldiers and martyrs – always ready to fight, and (if the time came), sacrifice themselves in order to help their side win. They had their powers and their experience to keep them safe… all I had was an old piece of jewellery with questionable dependability, and nothing much else – unless you counted watching the crazy girl talk to ghosts as a distraction or strategically tactic.

How far would my friends go to ensure their side was victorious? How far would they be willing to go to keep me safe? The thought alone was twisting my stomach into knots.

I willed myself to fall asleep, hoping that the oblivion of sleep would block out my thoughts for a while. I needed time to just… think, and I wasn't going to get it if I was useless and exhausted.

I managed to fall asleep, but I tossed and turned the whole entire time – well, as much as you can possibly toss and turn against a tree. I couldn't keep my eyes open, but at the same time, it was as if they refused to stay closed. I thought about all the times I'd fallen asleep when I was a child – I'd be in dreamland as soon as my head hit the pillow – and my heart ached for those happier, simpler times… had my parents been keeping secret from me as well? Of course – huge, life-altering secrets – but I'd been so oblivious that I'd never realized anything was amiss. I wish we could go back to those days; the days when life was simple and nothing was scary, or difficult, or too much to handle…

After more than three hours of closing my eyes and praying for sleep to take over, I gave up… Who needs sleep, anyway? I have better things to do.

I glanced over at the patch of trees the boys were sharing and glared at the back of Derek's head – childish, yes… but it made me feel better, because in my sleep deprived mind, it was Derek's fault that I was still awake.

I knew I'd overreacted slightly, but finding out that Derek – the one person I thought I could trust completely – had been lying to me again in the midst of our situation was too much; It'd been a long few days, and I'd taken it out on him… although he had deserved it for the most part…

You had years to tell me, years!"

"How was I supposed to tell you? 'Hey Chloe, guess what? We're majorly f-ed up biologically… just thought you should know!'"

"It doesn't matter!" I'd spat. "When I asked you if it was normal to raise corpses without wanting to, you told me it was fine! You told me I was fine; I'm not fine, Derek! None of us are!"

I stepped away from him and forced my voice down to a calm whisper. "You've been bitching for hours about how Tori can't be trusted, but it's you we can't trust, and I can't deal with that anymore."

I felt guilty – which was probably why I was still awake after all the excitement of our little jailbreak – but I also knew that I wasn't the only one at fault. Derek had chosen to keep a monumental secret from me for years, not bothering to tell me that what I could do – what I was – wasn't normal. Now that I knew what he'd been hiding for so long, a lot of things started to make more sense…

"We don't have to tell her, Simon! We can leave now and she can go back to living her life like a normal kid. No one has to know."

"But she's not normal, Derek! Someday someone's gunna find out, and then they'll come and take her away and it'll be all our faults!"

Obviously Simon had known all along and had wanted to tell me… had Derek convinced him to keep it a secret? It must've taken a lot of effort, considering all the times Simon had told me things Derek didn't want me to know…

Cummon Chloe! We've seen you talking to no body! Either you can talk to ghosts or you're kookier than… that bird who loves coco puffs!"

"You've seen me…?"

"Yep! You were just sittin' there, talking to something in front of the wall, and-"

"Hold on a sec! You guys were spying on me, and you're calling ME the crazy one?"

Simon had become flustered, his little face turning red. "It was an accident the first time, I swear!"

My face flushed as I remembered that day – how badly I'd been shaking when I'd called to the strangers in the forest, and how embarrassed I'd been when I found out Simon and Derek had been spying on me while I talked to my mother… what would my life be like now if they hadn't seen that? I wondered. Would we be where we are today… or would we be complete strangers?

I looked up at the branches of the tree I was leaning against and sighed. This is way too much to take in. I need time to process all of this or I'm going to have a nervous breakdown or something.

I looked over to where the boys were situated again and crossed my arms. Derek was leaning against a tree a few dozen feet away with his back to Tori and I, his arms crossed as well.

"Would it things if I told you… if I told you that I love you and don't want you to get hurt?"

Would it change my mind? I wondered. The part of me that was angry at Derek was screaming 'no!', but at the same time, the part of me that felt guilty – the Chloe who remembered the hellish weeks she'd spent without Derek in little more than a coma – wanted to go over there and speak to him, to tell him that he was forgiven… Out of the corner of my eye I saw him shift fractionally, trying to get comfortable. I'd known he was awake – Derek had already designated himself 'official protector' of our little misfit group, and he was probably keeping a lookout for Edison Group employees (and cronies) – but it was still a little strange thinking about him so much when he was so close.

Relax, I chided myself. It's not like he can hear your thoughts or something. His hearing isn't THAT great.

I looked over at Derek again, biting my lip. Could I forgive him? I knew I probably would, but could we ever go back to the way we were before? Could I trust him with everything – my secrets, my deepest, darkest thoughts… and what about my heart? Could I keep trusting him with that, or was I setting myself up for heartbreak?

I couldn't stop the thoughts from creeping in, aided by the obvious tension in the air. What's wrong with you? This is DEREK you're talking about! He's been your best friend since you were ten years old!

Exactly. How could he have kept such a huge secret from me for all this time? And why on Earth would he do it?

Ask him.

I decided to do just that.

I sighed and fiddled with the pendant hanging from my neck. "I want to know why you did it," I said quietly, studying the stone in my hands incase he turned around.

He tensed, then turned around slowly, obviously surprised that I'd spoken to him. "Are you gunna let me explain?" he asked, sounding doubtful and hopeful all at once.

"I don't wanna hear some half-ass excuse right now, Derek," I said, regretting ever saying anything at all. "Just leave me alone… please?"

"Just hear me out," he begged, getting up and moving towards me.

I sighed and rolled my eyes, giving in. "You have exactly two minutes to explain, and then you're gunna leave me alone until I give you permission to do otherwise. Understood?"

He smiled crookedly. "Just two minutes?" he asked incredulously.

"You're wasting your time," I reminded him in a detached tone, my expression blank.

"Right, sorry."

Silence, and his seconds were ticking away. "So…?"

He grabbed the hair at the back of his head and stared at the ground. "I've known for a while," he said finally. "When I was ten, I found some of dad's old files. They were locked in a filing cabinet, but I got it open and stole the files before my dad could notice."

He took a deep breath in and continued, his gaze distant. "Reading those files was the worst mistake of my life, Chloe. They called us 'specimens', and 'subjects' and bragged about what they'd done to us…" he exhaled unsteadily and tried to regain his composure. "That day in your backyard, when you asked me if communicating with ghosts was your only ability… I lied to you because I didn't want you to have to carry the burden of something like that without having to. I told myself that it was okay, that I tell you when you were a bit older and ready… but then you raised that kitten."

"What does that poor thing have to do with you keeping this huge secret from me?" I snapped impatiently. I felt like lately he'd been ripping away the good pieces of my childhood bit by bit, leaving me with only the bad memories; I couldn't take it much longer. Get to the point already!

"A lot, actually."

"Do explain!" I said, sarcasm colouring my tone.

He moved closer, until there was less than a half a foot between us. He reached for my hand and I almost yanked it back before I realized he was looking at my pendant. He gently eased it out of my grasp, held it reverently and studied it, not saying a word. "I promised myself I'd tell you after you turned 14," he said finally. "I was ready to tell you, too; but then you raised that kitten and something changed inside you, Chloe… even Simon could see it! It was like something died inside you, and it seemed like you wanted to die too…"

"I'm not and have never been suicidal, Derek," I said slowly, speaking like you would to a young child. "And I still don't see why that would-"

"Do you have any idea what it's like to watch the person you love hate themselves?" he asked suddenly, looking up from the necklace in his hands. "To watch them deteriorate in front of your eyes when you know you can't do anything more to help them?"

Did he just say…?

I couldn't look away – couldn't rip my gaze away from his, no matter how much I wanted to or how hard I tried. "I couldn't tell you after all that," he whispered sadly. "Not when you were already so miserable. I couldn't watch you destroy yourself over this any more than I already had."

He dropped my necklace into my hand, his eyes never breaking contact with mine. "I get why you're mad - I had no right to keep that secret from you at all, and I'll understand if you want nothing to do with me after this – but I want you to know that I did it to protect you, Chloe. I would never have kept something like that from you otherwise."

He stopped talking and waited for me to respond. When I didn't, he became anxious. "Chloe?" I looked up, and his face was inches from mine.

I moved back quickly, realizing how close we'd gotten while he was talking. I almost missed the hurt expression that crossed his face before he smiled weakly at me, waiting for an answer.

"I think… I think I need some time… some space… to process all of this," I whispered, hugging my arms to my chest. I could hear the exhaustion in my voice, but I knew I wasn't going to be getting any sleep any time soon anyway… He nodded understandingly and got up to move. I caught a glimpse of his eyes before he moved, and I could tell he had been hoping for a different reaction from me.

I reached out and grabbed his hand as he stood up. "Wait."

He stared at me in confusion, but I could see the hopeful expression he was trying to downplay.

What was I going to say to him? I hadn't thought about that before I grabbed his hand… what could I say?

How about, "I love you and I forgive you and I'm not going to fall asleep unless you stay with me and keep the nightmares away…"?

"I-I… I'm sorry about what I said before," I apologized sincerely. "What I said about not trusting you and everything… I was just angry; I didn't mean it."

"You don't have to apologize, Chloe. You were right. Every word was true," he said solemnly.

"No! I didn't-"

"Yes, you did. You always do," he echoed, reminding me of the day I'd said those exact words to him myself. He looked away, focusing on his hand – the one I was still holding on to. I dropped it like he'd electrocuted me or something, then watched as he made his way back to his post near Simon.

I'm such an idiot! Why didn't I at least tell him he was forgiven? I rubbed my eyes and let my face rest in my hands, trying to figure out why I hadn't said something else to him. And on top of all that, he told me he loved me, and I didn't even acknowledge it… what's wrong with me?

Easy: you've been through a few dozen traumatic experiences and have been been altered consequentially.

I meant other than that.

Images from the night Derek'd appeared on my balcony a few weeks ago filled my mind. What if that happens again, but you can't fix 'em this time? What would you regret? I pictured him dying in front of me while I stood there unable to do anything to help… just like he'd been all those years. I could feel tears forming and forced myself to stop thinking about that, concentrating on a nearby tree until I was sure no tears were going to escape. I can't let that happen to him; not to him or Simon or Tori.

I lifted my face from my hands and looked at him, still watching out for us even though he was probably more exhausted than I was…

"I love you too," I whispered, almost inaudibly. "…but I need time to think – time to work this all out. I can't be with you if I don't."

I peered over at him, watching and waiting for his reaction.

He didn't even move.

I knew he heard me.

A/N: Were you expecting them to get back together? If so, sorry about your luck! (Btw, I'm totally kidding. This is tearing me up inside!)

Sorry this took so long! Exams and such are keeping me busier than I like to be, but summer is the light at the end of the Godforsaken tunnel, so… forgive me? Next update will be in around 2 weeks, but after that updates will become WAY more frequent (once every couple of days) so don't forget about me! Also, remember to send in your contest entries because I wanna get started on the prizes / the new story!

If you're looking for something to read, ask me and I'll give you my list ;) I really recommend White Cat by Holly Black, and I definitely recommend Stolen by Lucy Christopher (actually, fanpire4000 gets credit for that one!) BTW, Darkness Rising (Kelley's new series) #2 is called "The Calling". Thoughts?

Reviews make me happy, especially when I get at least 25, so… REVIEW!