Chapter 5
It was still raining, but I didn't care. In fact, I was happy it was raining. I was going to miss the near constant cover of clouds and rain that belonged solely to Forks.
With my bare feet being licked by the cool tide, my mind wandered back to the picture I stumbled upon in the garage. I couldn't seem to shake the feeling of...happiness it seemed to bring. Something about the ease of Jake's smile as he kissed my little face made my stomach ache with envy.
I turned around to peek at Jake who was nonchalantly leaning against a fallen tree, carving away at some scrap of wood. His eyebrows were pushed together in the concentration of his work and his cropped, jet black hair fell with the weight of the rain. He looked as excruciatingly beautiful as ever.
I often felt insanely blessed to think that out of all the people in the world, Jake imprinted on me. On Renesmee Carlie Cullen. My pulse raced just thinking the words. Of course, no one really knows why or how imprinting works; whether it be an unconscious form of natural selection or simply some wolf version of love at first sight, but the mechanisms don't really matter to me. If Jake's imprinting on me means I get to be his for eternity, then I could never bring myself to care about all the other minute details.
And I love him. At the moment, I'm not really sure as to how much or to what degree, but I'm absolutely positive that I love Jacob Black. This only becomes confusing when you take into account that I've loved him for… well, I've loved him for my entire life. Loving Jake is just as ingrained into my being as the fact that I have brown eyes and wavy hair. It's become a part of me that I've never been tortured with living without.
I watched the waves for a moment longer, as they systematically covered and uncovered my pale toes. Bending down so my knees were tucked against my chest, I began to draw in the soaking sand. I could barely draw a toddler-like sun before the tide washed it away, leaving me with a blank slate once again.
That's what my dad keeps calling Canada, a blank slate, a new beginning, a place to start over. Of course, he says this in a tone of voice as to convince me that this concept is a positive thing, which is a pretty cruel form of blasphemy if you ask me. I gave up with my effort of drawing the sun, quickly pressing a cloud into the sand before the tide erased it completely.
Lost in my own world of thought, I'm frightened when I'm suddenly whisked from my spot on the ground to be held in Jake's arms.
Still breathless from the scare of being lifted so quickly, I asked, "Jake? What are you doing?"
Instead of answering, Jake just smirked, holding me firmly within his arms the same way one would hold a sleeping child. He continued to descend into the gray water, only looking ahead with that smug smile on his lips.
"Jacob Black, you wouldn't dare," I hissed, as he came to a complete halt amidst the waves. I could hear the water sloshing against the bare skin of his torso, figuring by this point his shorts were completely drowned within it. Rain fell directly onto my face as I glared up at him, daring him to look me in the eyes.
While he did look down, his expression didn't change. "Oh, but Miss Cullen, that's what you just don't understand," he replied darkly. "I absolutely would."
And with that Jake tossed me into the freezing water, the ease of the motion having me believe I weigh no more than a pile of dirty laundry. I barely had time to plug my nose before I was completely immersed in the element I was barely touching only moments before.
"Jacob!" I choked, trying to sound intimidating as I pushed my wet hair away from my eyes. My body shivered though I didn't feel cold, no doubt an involuntary human reaction to a sensation lost to my vampire being.
Already swimming towards me, Jake's laugher surmounted the sound of the waves, proclaiming the satisfaction with his work. And with that glorious sound filling the air, I couldn't help but smile, too.
"You were starting to look like you could use some serious spontaneity and I figured the rain had already drenched you through," he explained, directly in front of me now. His enormous hand reached out to push a stray lock of hair away from my face, still laughing.
"You want spontaneity? I'll give you spontaneity," I whispered, diving beneath the waves once more as to be out of Jake's line of sight. Once hidden by the water, I quickly removed Jake's shirt from my body, leaving me in nothing but a sports bra and my shorts.
Once I reappeared, I handed Jake the shirt heavy with water. "I think this belongs to you," I said nonchalantly, well at least that was what I was going for.
Instead of taking the shirt Jake just glared directly at my eyes, all traces of humor gone. "You do not fight fair, Renesmee."
This time it's my turn to laugh as I watch the torment set over his body as Jake does everything in his power to keep his eyes locked on mine, his hands in fists at his side. He reaches forward slightly, as if he planned on grabbing my bare waist, but he resists and drops his balled hands once more.
"Oh, but Mr. Black, that's what you just don't understand," I replied, matching his same tone from earlier. I moved as close as I could to Jake, being very careful that our skin didn't touch, before whispering, "I never claimed I would."
Jake's burning within the water, in every sense of the word, I just lit that man on fire. His eyes close and his body starts to shake, his fists clenching tighter and tighter beneath the ocean surface. So fast that it's even difficult for me to follow, Jake is on the beach once again, phasing completely before he even hits the forest.
Still holding his shirt, I slide it over my head before slowly making my way towards the shoreline. A nervous laugh escapes my lips as I think, "Did he know I could even do that?"
After waiting for Jake for a good ten minutes, I give up and decide to just run home. I may not be as fast as my mom or dad, but it only takes me about five minutes to get from La Push back to the cottage in Forks.
I have already changed into a dry pair of clothes and made myself a pretty decent ham and cheese omelet when Jake barges through the door, a fully dressed and dry human once more.
"Well, hello there," I mumbled around a bite of omelet, quickly chasing it down with some water after realizing it's still much too hot to consume. "Can I get you anything to eat?"
I can tell he's angry with me, but I try to act like I don't notice. Patiently blowing on another bite of food, I waited quite calmly for him to speak.
Jake runs his hands through his hair, coming to stand on the other side of the table so he is directly in front of me. His eyes catch mine for a moment, searching, even pleading for answers, but he says nothing before looking away once again.
"Look, Jake," I began, slowly placing my fork down on my plate. "I really had n-"
"You made… I was… We were just…" Jake fought hard to find the words, but it wasn't difficult to tell he was drawing a blank. Finally, a whispered, "You're Dad's gonna kill me," escaped his lips.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down there, who said anything about telling my Dad?" I questioned, anxiety starting to raise the pitch of my voice.
"You're kidding, right?" Jake said, his sarcasm thick. "When has anyone ever had to tell your dad anything?"
"Well, then don't think about it and-"
My words are swallowed by the sound of Jake's fist hitting the counter top. "Don't think about it?!" he yelled, running his hand through his hair once again. "Nessie, I don't think you understand what you do to me, what you just did!" He paced the small area of the kitchen for a moment, his words filling the space between us with with the tension rolling off of his body.
I waited for his pacing to slow before opening my mouth. "I didn't know, I mean, I didn't mean to cause any harm. I won't do it again, Jake, I swear. I'm sorry."
Stopping in his tracks, Jake lets off a big sigh. He comes over to the stool at which I'm seated, wrapping his arms tightly around me. "Don't apologize, please. It's nothing that you did, I just wasn't quite prepared for how I reacted." His voice was calm, and I easily believed him. I nodded against his chest.
"It's always there, Nessie, but… I have never wanted something so badly in all my life. It just took me by surprise, that's all." Jake backed away from me slightly, giving himself the ability to read my face.
"Ok," I replied, reading his as well. Something in his eyes looked guarded, hidden, and I could tell there was something he was not telling me. "But there's something else."
Jake focused on something behind my head for a moment, and when he refocused back on me it was like the gates had opened up. "There's been a slight change in plans. Embry caught the scent of some vamp passing through, heading straight for what appears to be Montana. It's no big deal, but Sam and I think it would be a good idea to make sure he makes no pit stops along the way."
"Is it a scent you recognize? Maybe it's someone my grandpa knows, although I don't think we're expecting anyone…" My sentence trails off as Jake continues to shake his head.
"No, the leech's scent is unfamiliar to both packs. I'm sure it's just some nomad passing through. Like I said, it's no big deal." He smiles at the end of his statement, but it doesn't touch his eyes.
"So you're leaving," I summarized, watching as the muscles of his forehead pulled together. He was hoping to avoid this part of the conversation, I'm sure.
"Look, I know it's bad timing with the move and everything, but it's what's best for the good people of Washington," he adds the last part sarcastically. "You know it's my job to protect them from…"
Jake doesn't finish his sentence, although the ending is implied. I stand up then, breaking away from Jake's grasp, and take my food over to the sink. While there's still close to half the amount of omelet left, I let it run down the disposal, having completely lost my appetite.
It was always difficult when he left, but his reasons for going quite literally doubled the pain. Trust me, I understand there are dangerous vampires out there. Vampires who murder, and lie, and steal, and destroy; I know this. I've been face to face with the most dangerous of our kind, and I've seen how very real their threats can be. But, even after all of that, I still feel empathy for them. We are all servants to the same all-powerful king. Blood. I cannot justify ripping others like me apart simply because they're doing the only thing they know how. I've never expected Jake to understand this, but I've never given in to his mindset, as well. He doesn't live with a fire scorching his throat away every day.
"Don't be mad, Ness," Jake pleads, although he doesn't come any closer to me.
I take a deep breath, giving myself a moment as to give him an honest answer before turning back around. "I'm not mad, Jake."
"Well, you're not happy either," he retorts, falling heavily onto our couch.
"Happy about you leaving? Don't hold your breath," I mumble, going to sit down next to him. Jake's right arm naturally snakes it's way around my body, pulling me closer to his chest. We don't say anything for a moment, just sit a tangled mess of dark and light limbs on the couch.
While I'm perfectly content to stay like this for the rest of the night, I have to ask the question I dread most. "When?"
Another sigh escapes his lips before Jake says, "Today, tonight actually." I feel his lips press against the top of my head, and I know he's apologizing.
I wish Jake didn't leave. I wish he wasn't some legendary werewolf protector, and I wish I wasn't some never-heard-of half vampire, half human hybrid. I wish we were just some completely boring, completely stereotypical, and completely human teenagers.
"So I guess we're not tending the kids tonight?" I question, turning so I can look at Jake's eyes.
He laughs, so quietly that I can feel it more than hear it, before mumbling, "No, we're not tending the kids tonight." A smile plays on the edge of his mouth as he looks down at my eyes, too.
"Bummer," I whisper, snuggling deeper into his chest. From here, I know he can't see the tears already spilling down my cheeks.