"We are not going to watch that, Dean Winchester" Cas dug his heels into the ground and crossed his arms, staring at the raven haired woman sprawled on a bed in the poster.
Dean grinned at the petulant pose and slung an arm over Cas' shoulder, "Yes we are Castiel Novak"
Cas narrowed his eyes at the mock but stood firm "You really think that I would want to watch this ..travesty while I should be preparing for my Math test?"
"Pulp Fiction is NOT a travesty and yes, I think you will watch it." Dean nudged his shoulder and pulled him by hand to the ticket counter.
"Why not something else? There must be something more worthwhile than this. I mean, it isn't a big challenge, all that bloodbath and gore!" Cas was one step away from downright pleading but tried persuasion one last time. It wasn't that he was afraid of blood. He would just pass out every time he saw it.
Dean sighed and turned to face him with a cross look "Look Cas" he said in a weary tone "you've been holed up in that dungeon you call a library, for more than a week. I haven't seen you for five minutes without a book in your hand. Your head is about 3 minutes from bursting with all that knowledge crap and I am closer to tearing my hair off. So can we please just watch a movie and have fun?"
Cas saw the tired and pleading look in Dean's bright green eyes and sighed. It was no use trying to fight him when he gave him those eyes. Eyes that said I care about you and that's why I need you to listen to me.
It had been 3 years since he had brought a cocky and scrawny Dean Winchester to his house. Between completing middle school, joining high school and countless girlfriends (of Dean, of course), they had grown closer than two peas in a pod. He had taken to Sam as well and was now giving the younger boy some private help in his studies. Sam was delighted when he had discovered that Dean had finally got a smart friend (with honors, as Sam reminded Dean quite often), who had the same interest in studies that he did. Cas' family didn't take the development all that well, but had grown to accept things as they were. He called Dean Cas' 'Mark Anthony'. Cas' mentally chuckled as he remembered having to explain the joke to Dean and his horrified reaction.
"Wait, so Julius Caesar died?" Dean asked with wide eyes. Sure, they had the book in their syllabus some time ago, but Dean never really liked Shakespeare. He called him 'The Guy Who Shall Not Be Read'.
Cas rolled his eyes "Yes Dean, he died. His friends betrayed him and he was killed. But Mark Anthony got him justice. His one true friend." Cas hoped Dean would understand why his father had called him that. Seeing the horrified look still intact, he gathered he hadn't.
"But Caesar DIED! Your dad called me Mark Anthony so he means you are Caesar. He was STABBED to death! You can't be Caesar! WHY DOES HE WANT YOU TO DIE?!" Dean was getting hysterical, which alarmed Cas. Dean never got hysterical. It was one factor Cas was glad about. Now, he was getting scared.
"Dean, calm down. Dad didn't mean it that way. He just meant that you have my back always. He called you my good friend." Cas placed a calming hand on his horrified friend's shoulder and felt him relax a bit.
Dean didn't speak for some time and Cas didn't remove his hand, watching the taller boy look at the floor with a pensive look. They were quiet for a few minutes, Dean tring to calm down and Cas offering his silent support.
After a couple of minutes, Dean took a deep breath and dragged his hand over his face.
"I don't want you to die." Cas heard the muffled whisper and felt odd but slightly tighted his grip on his friend's shoulder.
"Ok" he replied, not knowing what had triggered this breakdown but letting Dean take his time.
"You can't die." Dean said again, this time more clear.
"Dean, that isn't possible. Everybody dies at some point in life. It is but natural." Cas knew that a simple 'yes' would have sufficed but he was never one to lie. Not to Dean.
Dean shifted on the bed and faced Cas head on. Cas was startled to see a turmoil in the forest green eyes. It was like the aftermath of a flood. Strikingly still with the strain of destruction making the scene twistingly picturesque. He wondered why Dean held back the flood and wished his dam would break. Cas wouldn't mind taking in his strain. For Dean, he would dive into the flood and carry him out. But today, he simply had to stay by the shore and wait for his friend to close the dam.
"You don't understand" Dean muttered in a quiet voice, so quiet that Cas' sensitive hearing had to strain to catch the words "You can't die Cas. I've lost Mum and Dad. Sam is always waiting to fly out into the bigger world. You..you're all that I've got. You..you're my lightening."
Cas held on to every fibre of his strength to stop himself from reacting. He knew what Dean meant.
On nights when Dean would be upset with some fight or an unknown thought, he and Cas would lie on the Novak's roof and observe the satin black sky. Cas always thought it was the colour of dark blue ink but Dean maintained that it was pitch black. "Your damn hair is a piece of the sky." He would tease to which Cas would retort that Dean was getting sickeningly poetic. On those days, Dean would always wish for lightening and Cas would wish along. It was as though the sky truly heard their wihes, when a bolt of hot white jagged light would brighten the black sky for a few moments. Cas' practical mind would shudder to think of the energy hitting them one day but he would stop when he caught the expression on the other boy's face. For those brief seconds, Dean would turn into someone else. Someone who didn't hide behind sarcasm and fake charm. Someone who could enjoy the quiet without bothering to block out the sounds of his head. In those few moments, Dean Winchester would be just another boy with dreams and hopes. Cas liked the lightening for that. It was Dean's shooting star.
"Dean." Cas hated that his voice broke a little. He couldn't get overwhelmed now. Taking a fresh breath he tried again "Dean, I can't promise you things that I can't deliver. I won't do that to you. I will die one day, just as every person you meet. It won't be today, tomorrow or even for the next 50 years. Maybe I'll live longer than Mr. Glensto, and that is saying too damn much."
Dean gave a small chuckle at the reference to the nagging old man across the road. He was almost 100 and gave Dean Hell every time they met.
Cas was relieved at the small break of tension but continued "It doesn't matter. What matters is how we live. You can't fear death and die every day of your life. That makes life unbearable. You and I don't live like that. We are meant to be alive. I don't know if Sam will fly away. I can't bring back the past. But I can promise that we'll live through the present and the future together. You've got me and I've got you. We'll make it enough."
Dean was viciously trying to swallow back his tears and Cas respected that by acting like he didn't see it. The might be best friends but Dean still wasn't comfortable enough to let his control slip altogether.
After a few moments of silence, Dean smiled and nodded. They never discussed it again. On Dean's next birthday, he got a small lightening pendant attached to a note – you're my lightening too. The chain stayed hidden under his tee all the time but never got discussed.
"Cas?..Hello? CAS!" Cas jerked back to the present when he saw a puzzled Dean waving his hand in front of him. He shook his head and gestured to the entrance of the hall. Dean grinned and led the way.
"We could have gone for a less violent movie you know? We are just 15." Cas grumbled as they settled into their seats.
"Sure, like another Four Weddings and a Funeral? And you're old enough to be 80, so I guess that makes us eligible." Dean teased back.
"It wasn't that bad! I like Hugh Grant!" Cas defended himelf.
"I know. You like him." Dean rolled his eyes.
Dean had found out about Cas' ..preference the previous year. It wasn't dramatic and shocking. Cas had calmly sat him down after a baseball match at school and explained to him that he was gay. Dean knew that underneath the calm exterior, Cas was a bundle of nerves. He shouldn't have worried though. Sure, Dean was uncomfortable with the concept but this was Cas. He could have told him that he was an alien and Dean would have accepted him. He also remembered how Cas had reacted when he had asked him another question
"So, are you into me?" Dean asked casually as they sat at on their usual spot in the prohibited park. It wasn't pretty and clean, which suited them perfectly. Also, the prohibited part made it exciting for Dean.
"No." Cas replied with an amused look
"Why not?" Dean looked offended as he threw another pebble on the small circle of water before them.
"Why should I?" Cas wondered as he leaned back on his elbows, looking at the pebble make ripples on the water.
"I AM attractive, you know?" Dean quipped with a petulant face.
Cas raised an eyebrow and huffed out a chuckle "You WANT me to be into you?" he asked incredulously.
"No! God, no! Of course not! I just..I just wanted to know why." Dean grumbled, looking helpless.
"Well, I'm not into people who aren't into me." Cas explained sagely "Unrequited love is, as you would say, a pain in the ass."
Dean looked at him for a couple of minutes and turned back to throw another pebble.
"I guess it is" he said as they discussed other 'interesting' parts of being gay. Cas would eventually get annoyed and walk off but Dean liked knowing about him. He always did.
Looking at Cas glaring at the screen right now, Dean felt a smile form on his face.
"We could just go grab a bite at Fenny's I suppose." He whispered to the dark haired boy who was currently clutching the seat's edge.
The gleeful smile that Cas gave him made Dean chuckle. Such a puppy he thought to himself as they boys scurried out of the hall.
Dean had wasted some good money on the unused tickets but as they returned home after a sandwich and a long bicycle ride around the park, he felt better than ever.
"Hey Winchester!" Dean heard a voice behind him as he tied his laces. It had been a great match and their team had won by a thumping margin.
He turned to see Lisa Braeden walk across the ground to him. He couldn't have controlled the shocked expression on his face even if somebody had paid him a million dollars.
"Hey..hey Lisa.." he stuttered as the beautiful brunette smiled at his nervousness.
"Nice game" she remarked, looking across at the pitch where they had won just an hour ago.
"Yeah..yeah it was" Dean replied awkwardly. Stupid stupid stupid! He cursed himself mentally.
Lisa was the girl Dean could only dream of talking to. She was perfect, and when Dean said perfect, he meant it. Sam had often observed how Dean would always falter when she was around. He ended up with a whack on his head. Cas had remarked on her perfection too. He had got a grunt in response.
"So..how are you?" Lisa asked with a pretty smile on her face. Dean thought that her eyes sparkled when she smiled. Cas thought that he was a pathetic Bard wannabe.
"Me? I'm ..I..cool!" Dean was sure he was going to kick himself after this mortifying ordeal. I cool?! What is that?! He shrieked within his brain.
Lisa didn't seem to notice his stupidity and smiled. They stood in silence for a couple of minutes; him fiddling with the collar of his shirt and her tapping her thumbs together. After eons of awkwardness, she finally took a deep breath and smiled.
"Ok then. Nice talking to you." She said turning to leave.
"Yeah..you talk good too.." Dean wanted to find a rope and strangle himself but settled for a grimaced smile.
Lisa seemed to have a moment's confusion before she stepped closer, stood on her toes and kissed him on the cheek softly.
"See you later" she whispered softly and walked away, leaving a shocked Dean in wake.
"See you later" Dead whispered to himself as he touched the spot on his cheek in awe. Cas was not going to believe this, he thought to himself as he raced out to go meet his friend at home.
"I don't believe it!" Cas said for the billionth time, moving his books to the shelf calmly. He did, actually, but saying that he didn't seemed to make Dean happy.
"I know right!" Dean laughed, plopping on the bed happily.
Cas turned slightly and frowned when he saw Dean spread mud on his sheets with his dirty feet. He shoved him off the bed and pointed at the washroom. Dean didn't complain today and simply obeyed, washing his feet before resuming his position on the bed.
"So when are you going to ask her?" Cas enquired as he settled down to complete his Chemistry homework. Dean had, as usual put his homework off till the next day morning. Cas didn't have that privilege, with him being an Honors student. Dean complained about him working all the time but understood that he needed to if he was going to become a Neurosurgeon.
"Ask her what?" Dean frowned as he lay on his stomach, staring at Cas work on the table.
"To be your girlfriend, of course" Cas replied without taking his eyes off the paper.
There was a stretch of silence in the room before Cas looked up to see Dean gape at him with googly eyes.
"How did you know?!" Dean asked in a shocked tone.
Cas raised both eyebrows before huffing "Honestly? You spoke about her just about a million times today. And yesterday. And the days before that. Any person can guess."
Dean nodded and smiled sheepishly "I guess you can huh? So, you think I should ask her?
Cas rolled his eyes before getting back to work "Do dogs bark?"
Dean chuckled at the answer before turning back and staring at the ceiling, thinking about Lisa. The scratching of pen on paper filled the room as both boys concentrated on their important jobs.
Cas had expected Dean and Lisa to get on well together. He knew that she would warm up to him, anybody would. What he didn't expect, was to feel alienated himself. It had started out small; lesser talks about things they liked and more about things Lisa liked, larger intervals between Dean's visits to the Novak house and the such. Cas had ignored them, knowing that Lisa was important to Dean. But then things got worse. Dean started seeking him out mainly to get notes. He never minded that; he was always ready to help Dean out. What irked him was that the notes were not for Dean. They were for Lisa.
Dean hadn't understood the reluctance on Cas' part. Cas had tried to explain that he couldn't write notes for three people. He had additional work as it was. Maybe it was the growing distance lately or something new, but Dean hadn't taken the rejection well.
"So you can't help me but can help Chuck, huh?" he had burst one day, right in the middle of the school hallway.
Cas felt the curious looks of the other students and tried to hush Dean. Chuck was Cas' first boyfriend and he wasn't ready to go public with it.
"Dean, you're being irrational and rude. Let's talk elsewhere" Cas had tried to lead him away but Dean pulled his hand back with a jerk.
"Rude? I'm being rude?! Oh and what about you?! You won't help Lisa and me just because we aren't nerds like you?" Dean felt something bubble inside him and couldn't control the strange anger.
Cas narrowed his eyes at the remark "I never said that. I cannot work on so many things together. I need some time to breathe, Dean. Moreover, you need to buckle up and try taking notes yourself sometimes"
Dean bristled at the suggestion. Did he think I am dumb? His brain questioned him. "You think I can't do anything without you huh? You think I'm dumb, do you?!"
The onlookers were increasing by the minute but Cas was really starting to get angry.
"No I didn't say that but right now, maybe you are. You are sounding unnecessarily stubborn Dean." Cas warned in a tone that was slowly rising.
Dean didn't catch the warning "I'm dumb? Me? What about you Cas? Aren't you an idiot too?"
Cas was stunned for a second before his eyes narrowed further. Pushing his glasses back firmly, he crossed his arms "No, I do not think I am an idiot."
Dean scoffed "Oh yeah? Is that why you're still stuck in that bloody closet of yours? Smart guy as yourself, scared of showing the world who you truly are?!"
Cas felt his veins turn cold and hissed "Shut up Winchester!"
Dean felt a pricking in a far corner of his brain but he was too far gone now, to realise. Days of frustration for no reason had finally burst. "I don't think I will Novak! What are you scared of?! You're stuck smooching the life out of Chucky and still pretend to be different out here. If that isn't being an idiot I don't know what is! What is it.."
The slap resounded across the hallway and maybe across the entire school. Cas stood inches away from Dean, his breathing shallow and eyes bloodshot. Dean's face had a bright red hand-print and eyes held shock.
" . " Cas hissed in a broken whisper, his hands trembling with anger and hurt. Dean felt a gush of horror at what had happened but he was also shocked that Cas had slapped him. His old ego squashed his remorse and he smirked "Even if I do, you won't stay away, will you Snowy?" he drawled in his long forgotten jerk voice.
For a moment, Dean thought he saw something flash in Cas' eyes but the next moment he couldn't see anything beyond the ice of his blue iris.
"Oh I will Winchester" Cas replied in a far too controlled voice "I will because I hate you"
If Cas had slapped him a hundred times more, it wouldn't have hurt as much as that statement had. Dean felt a physical jolt when he found nothing but frozen hatred in the eyes he once adored. The blue topaz he had felt at home with. He wanted to call out, apologize and beg for the ice to melt. But he stood still, frozen in shock and bound by blind ego.
As Cas walked away and the crowd slowly scattered, Dean felt his world shatter. He saw Lisa beside him, trying to comfort him. He saw Sam across the hall, shaking his head in disappointment. But what stayed in his mind what that look of cold hatred from blue eues that had once promised him an eternity of friendship.
Dean Winchester was once again alone.