Guys, for those of you still reading this, if you don't want to review would you mind telling others about this story? Pass the message on. Twitter, tumblr, hell, you can even fax someone for all I care! Over half way through now, I hope you're all still enjoy it! Special thanks to theNCISlovinggingerguineapig , theputz913 and JBSconie. Keep those reviews coming!

Disclaimer in chapter one.

Kate,

I'm sure it comes at no surprise to you that 'N' stand for 'Nikki'.

She's the reason I started following you and the excuse I used to continue shadowing you. Through her I got to see all the amazing sides of you. I saw the fire in your eyes, the warmth in your heart, your strength, courage, fear, there is so much more to you than what meets the eye. Even now, after four years I'm still learning new things about you everyday.

You don't like to open up much to anyone, I guess that's why you found it so hard for me to write about you, I was letting everyone know what you had been trying so hard to hide. I made boundaries without realizing it, there were some things I learnt about you that I didn't add to the character; Things I wanted to keep to myself. Like the way you play with your hair when you think no one's looking while you're thinking. Like the way you bite your lip and hide it. Like the way your nose scrunches up when you laugh. These are the little moments I wanted to keep to myself.

I filed them away in my mind under 'KB' and thought of something new for Nikki.

Nikki Heat may have started out as Kate Beckett on the page but as time passed and I got to know you more, as you let me in and I started to fall in love with you, bit by bit, she changed. Somewhere along the lines she became her own person. Partly because that's what the publishing company asked for but mainly because I was falling for you and as hard as I tried to I couldn't ignore it.

I went to work with you and when I came home I wanted to hide from you. Or rather from my feelings, to at least try and pretend I hadn't fallen for you so hard. So gradually Nikki began to change. She had to. I was in love with you, not some literary creation of mine.

Nikki Heat isn't some fantasy I created, she's the you that everyone else sees. The Kate Beckett that I see, that's something I'd like to keep to myself for a little while longer.

'N' is for 'Nikki Heat', Kate Beckett's alter-ego and not even half as good as the real thing.

I love you.

Rick.