Chapter 25

I was working at Brendan's which had become typical of my weekday nights. I was more than happy to help out Brendan, he didn't have to work as hard during those days of the week and could relax in the evening. He had given me keys so I could close the bar down. I had become his go to girl, which was completely fine with me. The evening wasn't anything out of the normal, we weren't super busy which was typical for a Tuesday night. The MC came walking in they must have just finished their meeting. I was talking with one of the regulars whose name was Norman. He was a widower who had a daughter who was my age and she lived in New York. Norman had taken me on as an adopted daughter, we celebrated his birthday together as well as mine. My Charming family couldn't make it up for it. When AJ walked up to the bar and smiled his crooked gorgeous smile at me. He was growing on me but I still hadn't let him in.

"How is your evening going beautiful?" He asked pulling me away from my conversation with Norman. Norman was a big advocate for me and AJ dating. He was vocal about it too. I wondered if AJ paid him for his advertising. I smiled thinking about it.

"Slow but it's nice because then I can visit with people." I smiled as I grabbed a pitcher to fill with beer for their table. I could feel AJ's eyes on me, like always. He had been asking me out for three months. I said no every time. I still wasn't ready for what dating someone meant, I didn't want to let anyone into my heart that wasn't already there. I didn't think I could handle another heart break like the one I just went through. I had also come to the realization that as much as Juice had hurt me I was still in love with him. Okay, so I understood that people change over years so how much could he have changed over the year and a half we had been apart? So I guess I still loved the man, Juice was before the day that I found him with the croweater in bed. Deep in my heart I knew I should move on, I mean Juice obviously had with his crow-eating lovers.

"So are you ever going to let me take you out on a date?" He asked me again.

"I don't think that it's a good idea, AJ. Please I am just not ready to date."

"How long has it been Kylee?" He stared at me.

"A year and a half." I hadn't told him a whole lot about my relationship with Juice but he knew he broke my heart which was still on the mend.

"Don't you think that is long enough to be single?" He asked.

It was the longest I had been single in years, I felt like each of my relationships had been so close together and in the case of Liam and Juice they just melded into each other. I didn't get a change to enjoy life for myself; I had always been defined by a man. I was actually enjoying not having to answer to anyone for my choices that I was making in my life. "No. I am actually enjoying being single." As I said that the front door opened and two women walked in. It took me a second to realize who it was. "Oh my god! Tara! Donna!" We ran up to each other and they both embraced me all at once. "What are you doing here?" I asked them as I stepped back.

"We wanted to surprise you." Tara smiled at me. It was so good to see her, she had cut off all of her long brown hair it was in a short pixie cut. She looked absolutely stunning.

"This is such a surprise! I am working but come sit at the bar we'll talk while I work." I pulled them both to the bar where AJ was still standing and watching us. I looked up at him as I walked past.

"You should think about it, Kylee." He gave me a hopeful look.

"I will think about it." How could I wouldn't because I would? "AJ, these are my friends: Donna, Opie's wife and Tara, Jax's wife. Ladies this is AJ."

"Hey." AJ smiled at them.

"Yo, AJ get your ass over here and stop flirting with Kylee. We're thirsty!" Knots yelled across the bar. AJ's cheeks flushed red.

"It was nice meeting you ladies." He said to Tara and Donna as he took the pitcher of beer from me letting his hand touch mine gently. I smiled at him and then turned back to my friends.

"So he's attractive." Donna smiled at me. "And it's obviously he likes you."

I looked at her with uncertainty, "I don't know if I am ready to date yet. The problem is I still care about Juice. I don't understand how can I? Fuck! He hasn't even tried to contact me in a year and a half." Tara and Donna exchanged a sideways glance. "What?"

"We were wondering if he would but the club has seriously put the fear of meeting Mr. Mayhem in him. I mean Chibs and Happy both took turns beating the shit out of him when you left. Chibs almost put him in the hospital because of the shit he pulled. He hasn't been himself since you left. He is ruthless and honey I am not telling this to break your heart but he goes through the croweaters like they are a buffet." Donna said.

"Oh and then there was that shit Happy pulled by telling him you killed yourself. He was broken up about that. I could have punched him in the throat for that shit, if he wasn't so damn scary." Tara's voice was full of anger. "Juice was just a better person with you around."

I took a deep breath as my friends told me all this. So I wasn't the only one who was paying for his sins. I was glad to hear he was struggling as much as I was. It actually made me feel a bit better about everything. There I was thinking he didn't care how he hurt me and it was obviously he did. "Even if he was faced with death, if he cared he would have come, or at least stopped fucking those stupid skags." I poured shots for Donna and Tara and then one for myself. I looked up and I smiled at AJ who was coming back up to the bar.

"Those guys are a bunch of fucking lushes." He smiled back at me and then at Donna and Tara as he handed me the pitcher. He leaned his long muscular body up against the bar facing Tara and Donna and asked, "So how long will you ladies be in town?"

"We'll be here until Friday." Donna smiled back at AJ. Four days with my two favorite people. I couldn't wait. I would have to call and see if Brendan would be willing to let me have some time off, he was usually okay with things like that because he was really not paying me as much as he should but I didn't really need the money it was more about helping him out.

"Cool. Well I am sure I will see you around then." He took the pitcher back from me. "Thanks, Kylee."

"No problem." I watched him walk back to the table. Would it be so bad to be with someone like AJ? He seemed to have his head on straight, he was smart and he was fucking hot. But he didn't give me butterflies in the way Juice did. When he touched me I didn't burn white hot for him. Would I be settling or giving up something that I ached for every night when I was alone in my bed? Fuck how could I still love him after what he did to me? But would I be passing up something with AJ that I wouldn't find again? Maybe I would give him a chance.

The week with Donna and Tara went really well. We did some shopping and partying and boy could they drink when the kids were not around. I hadn't realized how much I had missed their beautiful faces and their sound advice. I promised them that I would go to Charming for a visit sometime soon. Tara broke my heart by telling me that the boys missed their Aunty Ky. I missed their kids just about as much I missed both of them. Of course they resorted to the use of their children to get me to come back. I told them I would possibly come for Christmas. But of course I didn't know if I could do it. They also promised if I came they would keep it a secret from Juice so I wouldn't have to see him. If I was home, how could I not see him?

Before they left Donna came up to me and asked if we could talk. Tara was in the shower. We went out on to the patio in my back yard with our coffees. I felt like it was old times, just a different house. It made me realize how much I had really given up when I left Charming. I hadn't just left Juice, I left them as well. After sitting down Donna turned to me and said, "I think you should give Juice another chance."

I looked at her with disbelief, "What?" If I did decide that I wanted to go back down that path in life, I couldn't trust Juice; that would have taken a lot. Hell I was just starting to begin to get to know myself and who I was without a man. I was really liking this Kylee. Strong, independent, someone who found joy in the little things.

"I haven't told anyone this, but Juice came to me the day you left. Kylee he was a broken man, he still is. I have never seen any of the Sons like that before. He lost his path and his straight north when you walked out of his life." She had some sadness in her eyes as she remembered that day. "He was sobbing. I have never seen a SON like that before."

I felt angry, why had she waited this long to tell me this? "He shouldn't have cheated on me then. He should have realized what would have happened. Maybe he knew what would happen and that is why he did it. He shouldn't have listened to two stupid sluts over his own wife and club member." I tried to calm myself down, I wasn't angry with her, I just didn't like talking about Juice and reminding myself of the pain.

"You know he still wears his wedding ring and he has yours on necklace he wears. He doesn't think anyone knows but I saw them one day when he was working on his bike. The necklace slipped out from under his shirt, he looked up quickly like he had been caught and then shoved them back. Even if you don't get back together you should at least talk to him. You can't run or stay away forever." Her words stung me. I just nodded as I sat there with her in silence. I knew she was right I couldn't stay away from Charming forever.

After a tearful goodbye with them and decided I would go into Brendan's for a drink. I walked in and of course the MC was there and Laura was tending bar.

"Hey Laura, can I get a Cosmo?" I asked her. Laura was a petite blonde who had big hazel eyes that were almost cartoonish looking. She was very pretty.

"Yeah no problem." She smiled as she looked at someone who was behind me. "Hi AJ." She pretty much batted her eyelashes at him.

"Hey Laura." He said. Now why couldn't he go after someone who was really into him? Someone who would make him happy and give him little AJs. No, he had to go after the broken girl who had no clue what she wanted, the one who kept pushing in away. "Hey you." He said quietly in my ear.

"Hi." I said quietly.

"You want to join me?" He asked as I turned to look at him, he could tell I was sad.

"Sure." I said as I took my drink off the bar, "Thanks Laura." I smiled at her. She looked longingly at AJ as we walked towards the table. "You should ask Laura out. She likes you." I told AJ.

"She isn't really my type." He smirked at me.

"And what is your type?" I asked knowing what the answer was going to be.

"Isn't it obvious?" He touched my hand that was sitting on the table. I fought the urge to pull it away and left it under his hand.

"What? You like girls who don't know what they want. Who have been broken beyond repair?" I asked him.

"If you were broken beyond repair you wouldn't be here. You would have taken your life long ago. You are a fighter and you are strong and I see the love you have every day when you are here, you care for people and ask for nothing in return. Can I ask you something Kylee? Do you still love him?" Why was he asking me that?

"Do you want me to tell you the truth or what you want to hear?" I asked him quietly.

He tightened his grip on my hand, "The truth even if I don't like what I hear."

I looked down at his hand and I put the hand that was free on top of his then I looked up at him and stared into his eyes, I could feel myself on the edge of tears. "As much as I hate to admit it, I still love him with every fiber of my being for some god awful reason. After everything he did to me…to us, I should hate him but I don't."

Looked at me with a bit of sadness intermixed with hope. "Will you at least let me try to make you forget about him?"

I smiled at him sadly, he really wanted me and I couldn't see why. I couldn't understand what it was about me that made AJ want me so badly. "AJ, I don…" I said as he moved himself to my side of the booth and didn't let me finish my sentence he kissed me. It was full of passion and want. I gave in to his kiss it has been the first time in a long time that I had been kissed. He pulled away and kept his forehead against mine and looked into my eyes. "Ok." I said breathlessly. AJ pulled back and smiled at me. Could this man make me happy? Could he fill the giant Juice size void in my heart?

AJ and I had been dating each other for a little over three months. I felt like a giant weight had been lifted when we started to see each other. He helped keep the nightmares away when he spent the nights with me. However he only filled a fraction of my heart, there wasn't a day that went by when didn't just have a passing thought of Juice. But then again I didn't know if I would ever stop wondering how he was. He saved me in so many ways that I kept that with me.

The day Happy came through on a run. I was working at the bar when he walked through the door like it was not a big deal. Little did we know that day was going to be far from a normal day, it was going to be a heart breaking sort of day.

"Hey woman! Get me a beer." He pounded on the counter behind me.

I turned around, "Listen here Killer, I don't let anyone talk to me that way." I raised my eye brow at him as I walked around the bar to hug him, "welcome back Killer." He was dirty from the road. "How long are you staying?"

"Thanks Ky." He embraced me. I missed him. "A few days if you can manage that?"

"Of course I can handle that. However, I need to tell you something…" I paused momentarily.

"What is it?" He looked at me his brown eyes were serious.

"I've been seeing AJ." I looked at him, worried that he might not approve.

"Does he make you happy?" Happy asked. In all honesty he did make me happy, when I was with him he made me forget about Juice. He made me feel like I was semi-whole again.

"He takes away the pain. He occasionally makes me forget about him." I didn't need to expand that we had been sleeping together and that the first time I felt like a horrible person afterwards. But it was fabulous fucking sex and I had learned to push that voice away. I shouldn't feel guilty.I thought to myself, I knew Juice didn't every time he put his dick into some stretched out croweater pussy. I didn't need to elaborate on that to Happy. I just needed him to know I was happy enough where I was and who I was with. "And the nights have been good."

"That is all that matters right?" He smiled at me over the bar while he drank the beer that I sat in front of him. Happy's phone rang, it was Jax. He gave his phone a grave look as he stepped out to take the call. Not long after my cell rang, it was Tara.

"Hey. Funny that you called because Jax is talking to Happy who is here." I answered the phone happily.

"Ky?" Tara sound it sad, like she had been crying. My heart dropped. I knew instantly something was wrong especially after Happy came walking in with a furrowed brow and concerned look on his face.

"What is it?" I asked, I was on the verge of tears, something was wrong.

"Opie, Donna and the kids were killed in a car accident today." She cried into the phone.

I crumbled to the floor behind the bar. "What?" I said in a nearly inaudible whisper. Trying to shut out the happy voices around me.

"They are gone, Ky. A semi-truck hit them and they…" She broke off into a sob.

I lost it, I started to cry. How could they be dead? How could something like that happen to them? The whole family was gone, like that in a blink of an eye. My heart dropped.

"I'm on my way." Was all I could say to her as I hung up the phone. I stood up tears rolling down my face.

The only thing I saw was Happy's face staring at me from across the bar. "We need to go, Ky."

I nodded, I was already dialing Brendan's number. "Oi, Brendan, it's Kylee. I need to go…I've got a family emergency." All I felt was the tears running down my face. I was numb.

"Okay I will be in, shortly. Go if you need to; the bar will be fine. Let the regulars take care of it." Brendan said from the other side of the phone.

"Alright, thank you Bren."

"Anything you need Girly, let me know." He said. He was such a blessing to me. He was exactly what I needed when I needed it.

As I walked out from behind the bar, AJ and David walked into the bar. AJ looked at me with a smile but knew immediately something was up. He walk up to me and took me into his muscular arms. It was just what I needed, for him to hold me; to make me feel safe. He glanced over at Happy, who was getting his stuff together.

"What's wrong baby?" He kissed my forehead and he looked down at me.

"Donna, Opie and the kids are dead." I sobbed into his chest. It seemed so surreal to me. How can they be gone? Was all that kept running through my head.

I turned to Happy, "Please tell me this some rotten fucking joke you guys planned to get me to Charming." He had pulled something like that before. I pushed him. "Tell me it's a fucking joke." Tears were streaming down my face. He shook his head sadly. "Oh my god, Happy. I just talked to her this morning. She can't be gone. Opie and the kids…oh my god the kids…Donna." Before I knew what was going on Happy had pulled me into his arms.

He embraced me tightly, "Shhh. Kylee, we'll get through it. We need to get home." I inhaled deeply trying to calm myself in his familiar smell: cigarettes, leather, cologne and the road. He looked down at me and wiped my tears away with his thumbs. "Remember that you're a tough bitch."

I let out a snort and nodded my head. I felt anything but tough at that moment. Happy released me from his embrace and I turned back to AJ was at a loss for what to do. "Can you watch the bar for me?" I asked him.

"Of course anything you need." He looked down at me.

"Brendan will be here soon. Thank you." I hugged him and kissed his cheek. "I'll be in touch." AJ nodded as I turned to leave with Happy. Why was it always a death that brought me to Charming? Was that a sign that I should just stay away?

"Do you need anything from your house?" Happy asked me.

"No I still have clothes at the house; that is if Juice didn't throw anything out."

"He hasn't been there in over a year as far as I know." He said as he handed me his helmet, I put it on and strapped it tightly. He took off for Charming, it was going to be a long two hour ride back home. Home.

A/N: Well next chapter will be set in Charming and it will be the first time Juice and Kylee have seen each other in almost 2 years. How do you think that will go over? Stay…Tuned…more to come.