If anybody had told Dean that he would be having a conversation about sex with a very naked guy masturbating in front of him, that person would have gotten a couple of black eyes. So when it struck him that he was doing exactly that, he wanted to laugh his ass off. Sure, it hurt his bruised rib, broken jaw and torn calves when he did; but Dean still let out a horrifying cackle when he thought about how he had landed in this state.
After the utter mess he had created with Cas and Sam's bull-headed annoyance with him, Dean had resorted to the only things he knew were a constant – booze, boobs and fights. The first two he could get on his own; the last one was where Sonny came in. The beer bellied and balding con-man was the first teacher Dean had got in life. He taught him to take control over others, flirt and even exert power against enemies. It was all gangster like for the young and orphan Dean when he first met Sonny. He had become Dean's go-to guy, until Castiel entered his life. The first thing Cas had done was make Dean get away from the man and promise him that he would never do anything for him. Dean was annoyed at first, like an addict told to stay away from his addiction, but Cas had been there by his side all the time. So when he realised that he didn't have Cas by him anymore, Dean went back to his dirty temptation – Sonny.
The first few weeks were entertaining, to say the least. He had played poker with Sonny's gang, drank free beer, fondled several willing female assets and avoided Sammy like plague. He knew his brother would eventually catch up to him and Dean wanted to prolong it for as long as possible. After 2 weeks, things got strange. Sonny had asked Dean to stay with him, in his house. Dean was puzzled and perturbed but he really couldn't refuse a warm and clean room to stay. He stayed with Sonny for two more weeks, thinking things were finally getting better for him. He should have known better.
"Get up boy!" the fuzzy voice seemed to drift from somewhere above him, but Dean's sleep addled brain didn't want to process it.
He felt something prodding at his abdomen with force and tried to brush it away with his arm. He was REALLY tired after the today's match and he couldn't do any work right now.
It felt like burning coal when the first lash hit his stomach. Dean sprang up with a yelp and stinging pain, staring at the extremely drunk Sonny standing with a belt in his hand.
"What the fuck Sonny?! Have you fucking lost it?!" Dean yelled, trying to push the overweight man away but was pushed back into the bed with force he didn't expect.
"Don't you dare talk to me that way, you scum!" Sonny growled, alcohol reeking from every syllable, "You're gonna pay up for that lazy ass of yours! Freeloading dirtbag!"
Dean was officially freaked out but scrambled out of bed in anger, one hand curling into a threatening fist and the other reaching out in front as a protective shield.
"What are you talking about, Sonny? Get the hell away from me! I'm leaving right now." Dean tried to remember the right techniques to block him if need be. He tried to edge back to the door when Sonny grabbed his arm with freakish strength.
"Leaving are ya? Not so fast Dean-o. I ain't done with you yet." The leer from the stinking mouth pressed close to his face had Dean gagging. He tried hitting and pushing but Sonny didn't seem affected much by any blows.
When he tried to land a punch to the man's face, something seemed to snap within Sonny. Dean found himself flung across the room, his head landing against the wall with a crack. 'Jesus! I can't lose right now!" Dean tried to get up and convince his screaming brain to work but Sonny worked faster.
He felt the blows everywhere. Shoulder, back, calves, neck, face; everything was hurting all at once and Dean was fighting hard to defend himself against the damn belt. It didn't help that his head was bleeding and his vision was going blurry but when he felt two hand hoisting him up, Dean knew he had to fight harder. Gathering every bit of strength, he lifted his knee and hit his attacker directly in the groin. That was when all hell broke loose.
Within minutes, Sonny's overgrown 'friends' rushed into the room and kicked Dean in places he didn't know could hurt. Dean wanted to scream when he felt his clothes torn apart and hands roving over his body, but all that came out his mouth was a strangled whimper. 'Pathetic Winchester!', his brain seemed to mock him as he lost strength with every blow. His bruises from an earlier fight hadn't healed yet and the new blows were letting fresh blood ooze out of every pore. When he felt a sharp hit to the back of his head, Dean actually felt thankful for the darkness that swallowed him into oblivion.
The minute he came into consciousness, Dean wished he hadn't. The light was too bright, his bound hands were too stiff and the blood running down his torn leg was a never ending stream. He sensed that he was tied up to a chair, judging by the roughness of the wood under his knees, the rickety old one of Sonny's. His struggled to open against the swelling but the minute they opened, Dean wished they hadn't bothered. Standing before him was an ugly, naked Sonny with an ugly, naked erection.
"Hello Dean-o" Sonny cooed as his fist pumped his own member. Dean wished he didn't understand but he did. He was going to get raped. "Guess I won't be called a 'bloody ass' without reason now" he thought to himself in dark humour.
He would be lying if he said he wasn't dying. Dean actually felt pieces of his broken soul evaporating at every stroke of Sonny's erection. It didn't help that the bastard was actually describing how he had planned to 'take him' a long time ago. "Should have listened to Cas" Dean thought with the last shred of hope shrivelling away. He felt the lightening pendant scrapping across a gash at his chest and felt hot tears rush out of his eyes. When he saw Sonny stumble forward, eyes bloodshot and fist still pumping, Dean closed his eyes in defeat. "I'm sorry Cas.." was the only thought he felt in his head as he got ready to be ruined forever.
He didn't know what it was; a prayer, a plea or a long lost boon. He had no clue how it had happened, but Dean could never have been prepared for the gun shot blasting the door. His eyes flew open to see Sonny freeze awkwardly, one hand mid-way towards him. Before anything could possibly happen, Dean saw the one person he would never have dreamt to see again. Especially not when he had just thought about him.
"Cas…" the broken whisper from his split lips should have made him cringe but Dean didn't want to think of anything other than the fact that he was here. He hardly noticed Dr. Novak, Sam and Sheriff Singer rush through the door, the adults overpowering Sonny. He didn't acknowledge the sobbing Sam, hovering near him, begging things to be not true. He had eyes for only one person. The blue eyed boy who never left as he walked up to him. If Dean hadn't been broken a few minutes ago, he would certainly have shattered when he felt Cas' hand landing on his head gently.
"Cas…" the shuddering sob would have been humiliating in other circumstances but Dean couldn't help it. He felt his best friend telling Sam to untie his legs while working on his hands himself.
"Shh shh..I'm here now Dean..I won't let them hurt you..I'm here now.." Cas' voice held such warmth that Dean felt the tears gush out faster. As soon as the last rope left his wrists, Dean found himself in the warm arms of old books, chocolate and love. The scent of the reassuring friendship and stability almost brought him to his knees, held up only by the strength of his friend.
Cas felt his own tears flowing down his face but bit them back as he let Dean crush him to seek reassurance. His hands rubbed soothing circles on the parts of Dean's back that weren't cut or bruised. He wanted to kill Sonny and would have gladly done it if not for the two weeping Winchester brothers clinging to him. He gently brought Sam into the embrace and hushed them both; two boys broken in different ways but just as pained.
When Cas had heard one of Sonny's younger lackies in the neighbourhood bragging about a 'new boy-toy' that Sonny was going to 'train', he hadn't thought it would be Dean. It had created a fear in his mind when Sam had complained that Dean hadn't been home for two weeks. Cas was still mad at Dean for being a dumbass but he would never let anybody hurt him. The growing suspicion had been confirmed when he had overheard Sheriff Singer talking to his father about spotting Dean with Sonny and the latest drunken rage of the old thug.
"When did you say you saw them?" Cas asked quietly as he came into the hall where the Sheriff and his dad were talking.
Ralph raised an eyebrow at his son eavesdropping on their conversation but was cut off by the Sheriff.
"What's it to you son?" Bobby Singer was known to have a suspicious mind and a sarcastic tongue. He liked the young Novak boy and his sharp mind, but wouldn't give any details without knowing his intentions.
Cas debated internally on his next move. If he told them about Dean being missing, his father would suggest they lodge a complaint and that would take a couple of extra days. Judging by the calculations and instincts his brain were hinting, he didn't have much time. According to lacky's drunken ramblings, Sonny was going to train the boy today or in a couple of days. If it was Dean, Cas would never take the risk of one more wasted minute.
"It's Dean" he said in an urgent voice, his eyes looking directly into the Sheriff's shrewd ones. He could feel his father's frowning but continued "I think Sonny is going to hurt Dean. I think..I think Dean is trapped in Sonny's place." It felt wrong to even imagine it, but Cas was nothing if not intuitive and logical. And he had personal history with violent sons-of bitches in New York, unknown to most.
It hadn't taken much persuasion in the end. cared about Dean and knew that his son was gifted with strange instincts when it came to his loved ones. A few threats to the weaker members of Sonny's gang had confirmed their worst fear. Cas could still not believe that they had reached on time. Hearing the shuddering breath from the boy clinging to him, he wondered if he had been late after all. Gently shifting the brothers who wouldn't leave each other's hands, Cas noticed that Dean was stark naked except for a bit of clothing covering a small part of his hip. Cas knew that he would be risking Dean's small bit of composure if he pulled away to get a shirt but also guessed that Dean would freak out the moment he realised his physical state. Deciding on what to do, Castiel managed to tug off his light jacket before gently wrapping it around the other boy's shoulders.
wanted to get Dean to the hospital immediately but gave the thought second consideration when he imagined Dean's current mental state. He needed to make sure Dean was fine without scaring him. When he was sure that the Sheriff had taken take of arresting the disgusting bastard Sonny, he waited for Castiel to look up from the embrace the three boys were in. If there was any way they would help Dean, he was sure his son had to be a part of it. Also Sam, he noted as a second thought, as he saw the younger boy calm down a little under Castiel's constant murmurs. When his son finally caught his eyes, Ralph gestured to the door, hinting that they should take Dean away from the horrid place. Cas simply nodded before steering his friends gently out of the door and down the stairs. On the last step, Cas felt Dean stiffen and tried to look at his eyes. A moment later, he felt him relax a bit as Sam tugged on his hand a little.
As he lay on the familiar bed in Cas' room, Dean felt the first trace of reality creep in. He had been gently cleaned and patched up by the doc with Cas never leaving his hand. He had leaned into the firm warmth of his friend's confident assurances. "I'm here Dean. I won't let anything happen to you. I won't go anywhere." Cas had been so sure. He hadn't flinched when the doc had cleaned up the gashes on his abdomen. He hadn't blinked an eye when Dean's swollen eye oozed blood. He didn't hesitate in holding his weight when the doc wanted to turn him over to treat the wounds on his back. Cas didn't go anywhere. Sammy had stayed back too but when he saw the purplish bruises near his genitals, he had thrown up. He hadn't come back into the room after that. Cas hadn't left the room yet.
In fact, he didn't leave Dean's side for the next week. He wouldn't complain when Dean snapped at him for offering to help him stand. He wouldn't retort when Dean vented his fury by pummelling at his chest. He wouldn't flinch when Dean had thrown the soup at his face for the first 10 times he had tried to feed him. Cas had simply cared for him. Again and again, till Dean felt every bit of emotion drain from his bones.
"You're gonna flunk" Cas thought he had imagined the scrappy voice but he knew that Dean had spoken to him. It was the first coherent sentence in 15 days and Cas didn't dare hope for anything drastic, lest it broke the calm of the moment.
"Maybe" he conceded, waiting for Dean to continue the conversation. He would take anything; even a remark about Lucifer's fashion sense that Dean loved to tease.
Dean wasn't looking at Cas directly. His eyes were focussed on the bookshelf acrodd the bed and Cas itched to turn his face to himself. He wanted Dean to see him, talk to him and give him all of his pain. He could take it; he would take it all, just to see his best friend's eyes show life again.
"I don't want you to flunk" Dean said in a voice slightly better than the previous one. Cas didn't reply, waiting for a continuation.
"You'll be a good doctor" Dean remarked, his eyes moving away from the bookshelf. When Cas didn't respond again, he finally looked at him.
"You'll be the best Cas" Dean's eyes held a pool of unshed tears and before he knew it, Cas had flung himself off his chair into his arms. Dean was frozen for a couple of long minutes as Cas sobbed out his pain and fear, before finally hugging him back.
"Thank you..thank you..I..God Dean..Thank you.." Cas couldn't get anything past the same words but Dean seemed to understand. He wasn't thanking him for the compliment; he was thanking him for coming back to him.
"I'm so sorry Cas..God! I hurt you!..I'm such a fucked up mess! I'm so sorry Cas..I deserved it.." Dean felt his own sobs break free; the pain, hurt and fear from too many days flowing down his face.
"NO! Please no!" Cas pushed back slightly to look at him with such intensity that Dean felt protected "Don't ever say that Dean! You could never deserve that! NOBODY deserves that! You're my best friend! You don't ever have to apologize to me again, you get that? God Dean! I thought I lost you.."
Dean had never felt more relieved than the moment he heard 'best friend' from Cas' mouth. He didn't need anything else in that moment. Smiling through his tears and snot, he lightly whacked Cas' head "Hey! What do you mean you lost me? I'm not one of your precious lab equipment that you'd lose right?" the joke should have fallen flat but Cas laughed. He would laugh at anything Dean could say; he was just too damn happy to have the forest green eyes looking at him again.
"No you're not" Cas agreed making a face "You're just the dumb dork I'm stuck with as a best friend."
Dean chuckled at that before wiggling his eyebrows "Handsome dork Cas. Can't you see how good looking I am?"
Cas knew that Dean was being self-depreciative but he truly did see how beautiful Dean was. "Oh don't I know that.." he rolled his eyes, maintaining the stupid humour "So handsome that my boyfriend liked you more than me."
Cas hadn't meant to hurt Dean but the boy still froze and looked at him with panicked eyes. "Chuck likes me more?! Shit Cas..I..You want me to break his bones? I'll do it! I'll do it if he hurts you!" Dean was going to hurt Chuck if he hurt Cas.
Cas simply smiled "Nah..we're over. He wasn't, how shall I say, endowed in the right places"
Dean laughed out loud at that. He knew that Cas meant the brain but hearing Cas remark a pun was just what he needed. Outside the door, Ralph smiled to himself as he left the two friends to build back their bond.
It had taken a long time for Dean to learn to ignore the insults and comments. He was more furious about the crap Cas was dished out, for being gay. Several times, he had tried to fight a dumb jock who had picked on Cas. But his friend had always calmed him down and dealt with it on his own. Sam had helped whenever possible. The younger boy had become closer to Dean after the incident and had made him promise to take care of himself. Dean still remembered the conversation they had, exactly 3 months after the 'incident'
"Are you going to take care of that?" Dean was surprised to see his little brother standing beside the door, watching him assess the bruises from the last football match. Dean had quickly learnt that he was damn good at sports and he had taken 's advice on concentrating on a sports scholarship for college.
"This? Yeah..maybe after dinner" Dean pulled down his tee and stood to go down to get some dinner.
"No." Sam blocked his way with his taller build. Dean could have easily slipped past him but something in his brother's eyes made him stop. Something that looked like..fear.
"No?" Dean questioned calmly, trying to remember anything that should have scared his younger brother. Had Sonny come back or something?
"No. You're going to take care of that right now." Sam's voice was rising an octave with each word and he steadily walked Dean back into the room.
"Sam? What are you..Sammy? Sammy what's going on?!" Dean felt the panic transfer from the taller boy to his own heart as he saw Sam pull up his tee and look at his bruises with wild eyes.
"You can't do this again..I can't let you..You can't get hurt again.." Sam was muttering ot himself over and over, his shaking hands hovering over the small bruises on Dean's shoulder.
Dean grabbed hold of his hands and shook him slightly "Sammy! What are you talking about?!"
"YOU! I CAN't LOSE YOU AGAIN!" Sam's yell echoed in the small room. Dean stood frozen to the spot as he realized what had happened. Cas had warned him about this when Sam hadn't reacted earlier. His brother had almost lost him and hadn't gotten over it.
Taking a deep breath, Dean held his younger brother's shoulders firmly, "I'm fine Sammy" he said in a calm voice, making Sam look up at his face "I'm not going anywhere. I won't leave you again."
Sam's eyes searched for something in his green eyes before he felt himself engulfed in a bear hug. It should have come long back, but as Dean awkwardly hushed the gigantic younger brother, he felt sad that he had scared him.
"You promise?" the small voice mumbled against his shoulder made Dean's heart break a little. He should never have left his baby brother alone. He was supposed to protect him for Christ's sake!
"I promise." Dean felt the younger boy's body relax as he said the magic words. Taking a deep breath, Sam pushed himself back and smiled at him. In that moment, Dean could see the innocence and pure love of his sibling. He had heard Cas remark that Sam wasn't as strong as Dean thought him to be. But he hadn't seen what he meant till today.
"I promise" he said again, his voice sure and a small smile gracing his own lips. Sam nodded before leaving the room. Before he went out the door, Sam turned back "Take care" he said before he went down.
Dean was determined to do just that; for his younger brother who needed him.
"You look ridiculous!" Dean teased the boy standing in front of the mirror. Cas flipped him a finger before brushing down his costume one last time.
"Please, it isn't like I'm going as a bloody Tarzan" Cas scoffed as he pointed at Dean's costume.
"It's Spartan and I look good in it" Dean huffed as he pushed Cas away from the mirror to look at himself.
It was the last event of their high-school years and the boys had chosen to go to the dance together. Cas, because he didn't get any date on time and Dean because he wouldn't let Cas use that excuse to stay buried in his books. They looked ridiculous as a Spartan and Yoda. Sam had called them mental, only to receive two simultaneous flipped birds in answer.
"Why did we choose this combination again?" Cas complained as he shook his head at the stupid idea. Yoda and a Spartan weren't remotely connected and yet they were going as that to the stupid Myth and Fic themed homecoming dance.
"Becauuuse" Dean mocked him back "you are a nerd and I am a hunk. This suits us!" Cas laughed at the stupid grin on Dean's face before pushing the boy out of the room.
The dance was as disastrous as expected. There was shitty music, not-so-subtly horny couples and terrible food. Cas looked at his watch for the hundredth time as he sighed to himself. Dean had scampered off to some corner, surely to mess with the punch. Cas wondered if he could sneak out now and later pacify Dean with some random excuse. Just as he decided to do it, turning to the exit, he felt an arm slung over his shoulder. An arm of a very drunk Dean, to be specific.
"Cassie Cassie Cassie" Dean hiccupped before giggling at the hiccup "Where do you think you're going?"
Cas rolled his eyes at the moronic antics "Somewhere far away from the madness you're going to create here." He quipped back, trying to get the arm off him.
Dean snorted at that before pulling the slimmer boy closer. Between Cas trying to get him away and Dean trying to pull him closer, they unknowingly ended up in one of the dark corners of the hallway. The music from the dance hall was dull here and Cas could barely see in the darkness.
"Dean..Dean, stop! Where are we? Dean, stop wriggling!" Cas tried to get his drunk friend to stand still but the stronger boy seemed to wriggle more at the words.
"Nooooo" Dean whined when Cas tried to make him stand against a pillar. Before Cas could move away or find a light, he felt himself swung around and pushed against the pillar.
Cas felt the air rush out of his lungs at the shock. He tried to push Dean back without hurting him but the drunken weight was too much for him.
"Dean!" he hissed, desperately trying to get the boy's attention. Sure, Dean had fooled around him a few times teasingly before, sometimes to cheer him up and other times to simply irritate him. But he had never been more aware of the green-eyed guy's strength and physique, radiating warmth and a strong scent of sandalwood. Cas almost groaned when he realised that Dean had used his soap to get ready for the dance. The fresh smell of Sandalwood was like an aphrodisiac to Cas and he really didn't need it right now. Apparently, Dean had other ideas.
Every time Cas pushed against him, Dean seemed to inch closer to him. When he felt Dean's breath on his neck, Cas almost groaned. It was his secret but he had begun to fancy Dean in the last year. It was somewhere around the time Dean had stood up to Lisa for insulting Cas. Dean had shown no hesitation in breaking things off with his supposed dreamgirl for him and Cas had involuntarily begun falling for his best friend. It made things worse that Dean didn't know and more importantly, that Dean wasn't gay. Something his lower parts seemed to have forgotten.
When Cas felt something brush against his thigh, he prayed that it wasn't what he thought it was. It wasn't because it was disgusting him; on the contrary, it made things harder to resist. Especially when Dean's lips ghosted over his eyelids, making them flutter shut. When Dean's costume allowed his skin to touch Cas' arms. When Dean's rough hands massaged the spot right above his hip. Cas was going to lose it if something didn't happen. He didn't know what, but he needed something to happen right now.
And happen it did. With the care of a precise surgeon, Dean's full lips found his own thinner ones. Cas almost crumbled to the ground but was held up when Dean pushed into him further, deepening the kiss gently. It was like a smooth injection piercing into his vein – slow, exact and oh-so-exciting. Cas felt his heart lurch when Dean's tongue licked his lower lip, begging for permission. The moment's hesitation he felt, drowned in the whimper from Dean's throat. A fucking whimper! Cas broke and opened his mouth to welcome the desire he had wished for.
There was no battle for dominance. Cas willingly let Dean explore every crevice, every swell and every taste of his mouth. He did the same back, hissing in delight when Dean ground into his thigs every time he hit the right spots. Hands were lost between clothes and hair, tongues found between teeth and lips, and desire was exchanged with every gasp of breath.
Was it a minute or an hour? Cas really didn't care. He was lost beyond reason; beyond any theory or logic. He was lost to the pure feeling of Dean, till he felt the boy pull away. Cas' eyes were disoriented for a moment before he felt hot liquid spill down his clothes and heard Dean groan. The stinking puke seemed to jolt him out of the spell he was under. As he saw Dean sway before collapsing on the ground, Cas felt a chill down his spine.
Dean was drunk. He wouldn't remember this.
The thought should have scared him. It should have made him run away as fast as he could. But it just made his eyes well.
He knew that Dean wouldn't remember but Cas wouldn't forget it. He knew that he should have been hurt but as he saw the drunk Dean sprawled near his feet, he felt only relief.
He had finally accepted that he felt more than friendship for Dean. Sure, it would be great if Dean felt the same. But Cas had long learnt to take the small gifts of life and treasure them. Sighing to himself, he pulled Dean up and trudged up the hall way to the gate where his dad's car was parked.
As he drove back home with a sleeping Dean in the backseat, Cas remembered the feeling of joy when he had touched the other boy's lips with his own. He would never tell any of it to Dean. He would never risk that. But he would always have this moment. And that was enough for now.