Haymitch invited me over the next night to watch the Capitol's television special with him. I walked into my basement and rummaged around until I found a bottle of liquor I had been saving for Haymitch. After sliding on my jacket, I began to trudge through the snow to Haymitch's house. Peeta and I reached Haymitch's door at the same time.

"Haymitch invited you too?" I asked, averting my gaze.

Peeta looked slightly offended and hurt, but he just nodded and mumbled, "Yeah."

He opened the door for me and let me walk in first. Haymitch was reclined lazily on the couch, but he sat up as soon as he saw me. I pulled out the bottle and shook it.

"I brought you something," I muttered holding up the bottle sheepishly. Haymitch got up and came over to me, grabbing the bottle. He looked at it, before gazing up at me with a grateful smile.

"Thanks, sweetheart," he said. I walked in, threw my jacket over a chair, and took a seat on the floor. Peeta walked up and sat next to me. Haymitch resumed sitting on the couch. As soon as he popped open the bottle and began to take a drink, the Capitol's anthem began to blare from his television set. I slouched so that my back was leaning against the couch and waited patiently for the 'special announcement.'

"Nervous?" Peeta murmured into my ear.

"Not really. I don't think it's going to be anything bad," I answered, looking up at Peeta. Peeta nodded and returned his gaze to the television.

Caesar's face came up on the screen. I forgot how odd he looked with his unnaturally sharp cheekbones and arching eyebrows. He was still wearing his midnight blue suit, but his face color for today was red. Red lips, intense blush, and red eyebrows. It reminded me of blood.

"Today we receive a special announcement from the Capitol!" he yelled out happily. As he droned on about what a special occasion it was, Peeta grabbed my hand. I looked over and gave him a smile, which he returned. I leaned back onto the couch behind me, feeling comfortable.

"Oh, so it's about the Quarter Quell," Haymitch muttered from the couch. My head snapped up to see Snow on the screen pulling a tiny card from a large box. I hadn't been paying very good attention.

Since Peeta and I had won the Games, we would be mentoring this year. Of course we had to mentor the year there was a Quell. It would make life harder for whoever our tributes would be, which would mean we would have to work harder as mentors to keep them alive.

Snow held up the card and read aloud, "This year's Quarter Quell will serve as a reminder of the strongest of the rebels. Even the strongest among them couldn't overcome the Capitol. To honor 75 years of Hunger Games, the 24 tributes shall be reaped from the district's pool of existing victors."

Snow gave an evil smile to the camera, and Peeta squeezed my hand. It took me a moment to realize…

Existing pool? Meaning…

My hand flew to my mouth. Existing pool meant the victors from each district that were still living. District 12 only had 3 living victors, and I was the only girl. I was going back to the arena.

A gasp escaped my lips, without me being able to stop it. Peeta tightened his grip on my hand. I heard him whisper my name, cautiously, like he was trying to settle me.

My eyes flew to Peeta's and then to Haymitch's. I stood up quickly and walked out the door. I ran outside, only to find it had started to snow again lightly. I crossed my arms and shivered, realizing I had left my jacket at Haymitch's house. But I couldn't go back there. No, Haymitch and Peeta would want to talk.

It was at that moment that Snow's words really sunk in. I was finally safe from the Games, and now I was being thrown back into them. I was trying so hard to forget all the nightmares, and now new ones would appear.

"Ivy!" Peeta shouted behind me. I took a quick glance behind me before sprinting away. I felt tears begin to freeze on my face and began to swipe at them. They were unnecessary; I should've guessed that I wouldn't be safe. Snow wouldn't have let Peeta and me get away so easily. It seemed all too personal. Was this really what was planned for the 75th Quell all along? Or did President Snow somehow cheat to make sure I would be thrown into a bloodbath again? This time I obviously wouldn't survive. There would be 23 other victors in these Games, all of them stronger than me. The weak didn't survive the Hunger Games. I was the only weak survivor; I only survived because of Peeta. For most of my Games, I was crippled in a cave with Peeta taking care of me.

I realized that I had run out of Victor's Village, but I didn't know where to go next. I ran along the fence, not caring if it was electrocuted or not. I found the broken link and crawled under it. Running as fast as I could through the woods, I felt the cold seeping in through my thin clothes and could see my breath in the air. My lungs screamed for me to stop running, but I kept going. I was going to go farther than I had ever gone. This time, I would leave for sure.

But my sprints slowed to a jog as my legs began to feel numb. My forehead was sweating, but the sweat was cold. That couldn't be good. My hands pushed my hair back as I breathed heavily. Tears kept streaming down my face. I stopped and leaned against a tree. The pain hid the panic. I had to keep going.

"Ivy!" Peeta gasped from behind me. I turned as Peeta grabbed my arm. His head was hanging down as he took deep breaths. I stood still.

"Peeta, go back…"

"Running away… you... can't…" he said, still gasping for breath. His hand slid down my arm and grabbed my hand. I tried to pull away, but his grip was too hard. His face slowly rose to reach my eyes. He wasn't crying. My head shook.

"I can't go back into the arena. I can't! I lost so much of myself the first time," I breathed. Peeta's grip loosened on my hand, and I tore myself away. I started to run again, but Peeta grabbed me from behind, wrapping his arms around my stomach. I kicked my legs.

"You can't," he muttered.

"I need to!" I screamed. He let me thrash for a couple minutes, but eventually my body went limp in his arms, and my throat hurt. He carried me through the woods, not speaking. After some time, I got my strength back and could walk by myself. He set me on the ground, and once I was walking alone, I shivered again.

"Here, this way," Peeta said. He took my hand and led me a different way through the woods. I looked down, following him blindly. I only looked up once my feet felt hard ground under me. We were in the cement house by the pond. Peeta set me down on a small stool by the fire. He picked up a couple things up that I couldn't see, but soon there was a fire blazing.

He pushed me closer to the fire and laid his jacket over my shoulders.

"You couldn't have at least grabbed a jacket," he said, more to himself than to me.

"I needed to get out," I whispered as I got feeling back in my toes. Peeta crouched next to me by the fire and looked at me from the corner of his eyes. I couldn't look at him.

"They would've found you," he said, "if you had run."

"Being lost wasn't the point though," I replied.

"Well, then, what was?" he asked.

"I don't know," I answered. Peeta didn't ask any more questions; we sat in silence. The fire began to shrink. So Peeta stood up and offered me his hand.

"Ready to go?" he asked. I wiped my nose and stared up at him. His eyes looked dull, like their shine had been diminished. Maybe he was more upset about the Games than he was letting on? I was glad he stayed strong. If he started to break down, I didn't know what I would do. I gave him a small nod, finally ready to go back, and gently set my hand in his. As I stood, his grip on my hand tightened.

Peeta cautiously put on hand behind my head. His fingers fumbled with my hair. A large gust of wind blew in from the tiny window on the side that I had seen him kiss Katniss through. My hair flew around my head, and Peeta flattened it against my head before I got the chance too.

"It won't be so bad in there, Ivy," he whispered.

"How can you say that?" I asked, tears welling up in my eyes again.

Peeta leaned down and pressed his lips against mine. His hands moved to my waist and pulled me closer to him. I stood on my tiptoes to reach him and allowed my lips to push themselves against him.

As Peeta pulled away, more wind blew through the window. Peeta's hands grabbed mine.

He whispered, "Because I'll be in there with you."

Peeta walked me back into my house. I began to walk up the stairs, thinking he would just leave. But Peeta stayed put. I turned to look at him from the top of the stairs.

"What's wrong?" I asked. Peeta looked up at me, biting his lip.

"Can you manage alone? Like you said?" he asked. I simply stared at him, not understanding why he asked this.

"Um… they aren't as bad anymore," I said. For some reason, I really didn't want to have this conversation right now.

"But are you scared?" he asked, shuffling from foot to foot. I slowly walked down the stairs, pondering the question. Surely they would get worse, now that I knew about the Quell. But as soon as I reached Peeta, I knew that they weren't as bad as before and wouldn't be that bad again. As long as I was near him.

"No. They're better now," I answered, looking down at my shoes.

Peeta seemed to stand unnaturally still as he replied, "Mine have been getting a little better too."

My chin rose so that I was looking at Peeta. "So, do you have a plan for the Quell?"

"I don't want to think about it at all," he shook his head with a sad laugh. I could only agree with him. He stood in my doorway for a long while, staring at his shoes. I looked at his face, waiting for his gaze to rest on me. But it didn't.

I wondered what he was thinking. Should I just ask him? What if he was thinking something that wasn't for me to hear? I certainly knew that there were some things I didn't want others to know. Would I be invading if I simply asked?

"What are you thinking?" Peeta asked me. My eyes blinked, and I realized he had looked at me while I was wondering all of that.

"Nothing."

"You can say."

"I'm just wondering what you're thinking," I blurted. Peeta's eyes seemed to land anywhere but on me. I folded my hands in front of me, deciding to wait a little while for his answer. If he didn't answer, I would drop it. A minute passed with Peeta looking around the room, but finally his eyes landed on mine.

"The truth is I'm thinking about Katniss," he mumbled. I gulped down a cry and nodded. My hands tightened, and my knuckles began to turn white. Of course he was thinking about her. Why had I expected anything different? But Peeta had kissed me again. Why was he giving me so many mixed signals? My brain was starting to hurt, and I began to feel tired. "Ivy, are you alright?"

"Yes. Actually… um… Well, I'm feeling a bit sick. I'll see you…"

"I feel bad for what I did," he said, louder this time. I looked up to see his eyes widening as he stared at the ground. Was he about to cry?

"You mean… for kissing me?" I asked gaining the courage to bring it up. I was surprised to find that my voice was more angry than sad. Peeta stopped glaring at the floor and instead focused his blue eyes on me. I suddenly regretted my decision and tried to hide my face from him. My stomach began to flip, and I thought I might puke. I messed up; I shouldn't have said anything about him kissing me. So, maybe he didn't have Katniss, but he probably didn't want me. "Goodnight, Peeta."

"What?" Peeta asked. I turned to walk up the stairs.

"Goodnight," I said, running up the stairs. As soon as I was in my room, I shoved the door close. I staggered into my bathroom and turned on the sink. The water felt good on my face. It was cool and calming, and I began to feel better. After changing into light pajamas, my exhausted body fell onto my bed.

Please, no nightmares. Not tonight.