I looked deadly. Cinna had dressed me in another simple black unitard, like last year. My hair was pulled back into a slick ponytail that hung down my back, and a metal crown was set on my head. My face makeup was drastic, making me look evil and cruel.

I beat Peeta to the chariots. I was petting the horse when I first caught a glimpse of him. When I saw him start walking towards me in his simple black suit, my heart fluttered. Then, I remembered… I was confused. I didn't know if I should let him back into my life. When I saw him give me a smile small, tears began to prick my eyes.

I turned to the horse, and let my hand stroke him. Suddenly, another hand started to rub my horse with me. But the hand wasn't Peeta's. These fingers were long and slender, feminine. I looked up to see Finnick Odair. He was chewing on something loudly, while smirking at me. He was pretty, but too pretty. Not my type. I straightened my back.

"Hello, Finnick," I said, realizing I sounded like I was talking to a friend. We weren't friends. I didn't know him. Yet, I smiled. And pretended. I tried to act confident. I didn't want the tributes to see me as weak.

"Hello, Ivy," he smiled. "Wanna sugarcube?"

I gulped down confusion. "Excuse me?" His other hand raised, and I saw a small pyramid of sugarcubes lying on his palm.

"They're for the horses, but… well, we might not have much time left for sweet things," he said, letting his eyes graze over my body. I wanted to cover myself, though I was already completely covered in my tight black unitard that covered my entire self, from feet to neck.

"Well, I'll let you know when something sweet comes by," I muttered, wishing I would've just walked up to Peeta. He was coming nearer now. I just had to stall a little longer.

"Oh, trust me. I know," Finnick gave a smirk. Yet, I saw through it. His eyes were sad. I didn't say anything though. He continued, "Believe it or not, I'm a pretty hot item here."

"How could one ever pay for just a couple minutes with you? Seeing as you're a hot item," I replied dramatically. The bronze-haired boy came closer, letting his fingers fiddle with my hair. Then, he pulled me close so that his mouth was on my ear.

"With secrets," he whispered. A shiver went up my spine. He retreated a couple inches, still holding me close to him. "Do you have any secrets for me?"

I tried not to gawk at him. "Secrets, yes. For you, not a chance."

His eyes took their time taking in every last bit of me. They were beautiful and deep, but not comforting. "You don't have secrets. I can tell."

"Everyone has secrets," I replied, not knowing why his statement had offended me.

"Not you. At least, not anymore," he said.

"I don't understand why you are so sure…"

"Hello, Finnick," Peeta said, standing closely behind me. I felt his hand press against my waist. "Love your outfit."

I just now noticed Finnick's attire. My eyes widened as I took in Finnick's costume. Nothing but a net, knotted at the groin. He was basically completely naked. And he had just pulled me against him. And I had let him. With nothing but a net and my unitard between us. Blush began to creep onto my cheeks.

"Love yours too, Peeta." Finnick raised his hand and eyebrows in synchronization. "Sugarcube?"

"No, but thanks," Peeta said with a dazzling smile. At that moment, the whole group of victors walked by chatting to get into their chariots.

"Time to go. Catch up with you later," Finnick said. He grasped my arm quickly before rushing off. His backside was nearly as attractive as his front. Peeta caught me staring, so he tugged me into our chariot.

"Did Haymitch tell you anything about," Peeta waved hi hand around, gesturing to the chariots, before continuing, "this?"

"Yes. No smiling. No kisses. Stare straight forward."

"He told me the same." Then, blush almost crept onto Peeta's face. "Do we still hold hands?"

"It's up to us, I think."

Immediately, Peeta grasped my hand. Then, the chariots began moving. I saw Peeta glance at me from the corner of my eye, but I didn't look at him. "When do you turn on our suits?"

I smiled. "We'll know when."

Eventually, our chariot rolled out. The crowd was rowdy and restless and screaming from seeing all the other tributes already, but they fell silent when they saw Peeta and I. Dressed completely in black, as if at our funeral, and straight-faced. Deadly. Angry.

Once halfway to the end of the chariot parade, I gave a slight nod to Peeta. We both clicked the little button on our sleeves that activated our suits. And suddenly we were coals. His suit and my unitard began to shift colors, making us look like glowing embers. The crowd went crazy, basically pulling their hair out screaming at us. But I stared forward, blank-faced, feeling Peeta's hand squeeze mine.

Of course, I could see the citizens still throwing kisses at us and screaming for one more glance. But not from us. Not from the "Star-crossed Lovers of 12." Our lives were ruined, once again, by the Games. And we would never grace the Capitol with our smiles again.

Finally, the chariot ride was over, and we turned off our costumes. After a quick speech from Snow, the horses took us back to the stable. Peeta jumped off the chariot first. He offered me his hand. Taking it gently, I stepped down from the chariot.

"Not as exciting the second time," Peeta commented. I smiled, taking my hand out of his. We met with Haymitch.

"Great job, you two," he said, gruffly. Peeta smiled in reply.

"Where's Cinna? Or Effie?" I asked, looking around.

"Went up without us, I guess," Haymitch said with a huffy breath. He seemed more tired than angry. The three of us stepped on the elevator. Peeta pressed the button to take us up when all of a sudden a hand with long green fingernails stopped the doors from closing. A body joined the hand.

"Mind if I ride too? My mentor is dragging," she sighed. It was Johanna Mason. I was pretty sure she was the tribute who faked being weak but turned out deadly in the arena. She ended up winning the Hunger Games with her act. I glanced at Peeta, only to see his eyes were wide and devouring the image of Johanna as Finnick had been doing with me earlier.

"No problem, sweetheart," Haymitch whistled. I didn't know why they were so entranced. Sure, Johanna had a pretty face, but her body was completely covered up with an ugly tree costume. She noticed me looking at her leaves.

"I wish Cinna would've chosen 7. My stylist is terrible," she said, ripping an array of branches from her hair and throwing them to the floor. Next, her arm reached up her back in an attempt to reach the zipper to her costume. I felt my breaths quicken, wondering what she was doing. Her eyes shot to Peeta, as did mine. "Be a dear?"

"Oh… sure," he stammered out. His hand reached for her and pulled the zipper down in one fluid movement. I felt terror bubble in my stomach. What the hell was she doing?

Johanna let out a loud groan of relief as she slid the costume off of her shoulders. It hit the ground with a slight thud, one of the branches poking my shin. "Thank goodness! It was so hot in there!"

Johanna Mason was standing naked in front of me with nothing but green shoes on. I turned my head away and squeezed my eyes shut. Haymitch and Peeta made small talk with her until finally I heard a ding. Then I heard rustling. One eye peeked open to see Johanna kicking her costume out of the elevator. I immediately shut it, having seen even more of Johanna Mason that I had never wanted to see in the first place.

"This was fun," she smirked. "We should do it again sometime!"

"Definitely," Peeta smiled.

"Please!" Haymitch cried. The doors closed. A moment passed before Peeta began to make a choking sound. I opened my eyes and peered at him, seeing that he was laughing.

"What is so funny? That was… that was…" I was at a loss for words. It was traumatic? Horrifying? Disturbing? Awful? Agonizing?

"Hilarious!" Haymitch whooped. I shot him a glare.

"Hilarious?" I asked.

"It's you! Oh, Chaff was right! Now I see it!" Haymitch said.

"See what? Johanna naked? Because we all saw that!" I shouted. My finger rose, shaking, to point at the elevator door where Johanna had exited just moments before.

"No," Peeta said, taking a deep breath to calm himself. "It's you… you are so…"

"What? So what?" I demanded.

"Pure," Peeta said, smiling at me.

"Pure?" I spat out.

"Like… innocent. You know?" Peeta asked. I shook my head and crossed my arms.

"No, I don't know."

"Oh, calm down, sweetheart. It's not a bad thing," Haymitch hissed. I bit my lip and let my eyebrows furrowed; we rode up the elevator in silence. Once the doors slid open, I walked out without a word.

"Hey, Ivy," Peeta said, walking next to me. "Hey, slow down!" I didn't slow down. "Ivy! I'm sorry! I didn't think it would hurt you."

My mind flashed back to Peeta's eyes hungrily grazing over Johanna Mason's body. My breathing deepened, and I stopped walking. My eyes stared at the wall in front of me, away from Peeta. I could feel his presence behind me as I hyperventilated. "Well, is that what you like? Girls having you take off their clothes so you can look at… look at…their…"

"No!" Peeta shouted suddenly. I raised an eyebrow. "No, that's not what I like."

"That's not what it looked like to me," I shrugged.

"Ivy, come on," Peeta said, grabbing my arm. I shrugged his grip off. "What's this really about? It can't just be because of Johanna."

I stopped staring at the wall and squeezed my eyes shut. Why was I angry? I knew Peeta was just caught up in the moment. And I would be lying if I said that I didn't look at Finnick like Peeta looked at Johanna, yet… the anger was still there, making my hands ball into fists. Tears welled up behind my eyelids. "I'm angry with myself."

"I'm sorry if I did anything," Peeta gave an angry sigh. My eyes shot open, and I turned to look at him. His hand set itself against the wall and curled into an angry fist. "I keep messing up."

"No, I do," I said, turning around and starting to walk again. I would allow myself to be drawn into a world where Peeta couldn't hurt me. But that wasn't true. He would hurt me, and I could hurt him. It was inevitable. Even if he loved me, he could still hurt me. And I just didn't understand that yet. And until I did, I couldn't let him in. He needed to be shut out until I fully understood how I felt. The only problem was that there was no way I could keep myself away from him. I needed to try.

"Are you going to sleep?" Peeta asked once we reached our rooms. My fingers wrapped around the doorknob. My body stayed facing away from Peeta, my eyes on the floor.

"Maybe," I whispered.

"Will it be like the train?" he asked softly. "Do you need me?"

Did I need him? Should I just let him back now? Drop everything. Let it go. My back went unnaturally straight. I needed him. I needed him right now. And I wanted him to stay with me, fall asleep with me in his arms. But then he would say or do something to show me he was lying, and I would get hurt. I couldn't let him in.

I turned the knob and opened the door. After plastering a fake smile on my face, I turned to look at Peeta, "Not tonight."

Then I closed the door, took a shower, and tried to forget about everything that was on my mind. I was exhausted and letting Peeta take over my brain would prevent sleep.

After slipping on loose cotton pajamas, I fell into a sleep full of nightmares.

* A/N This might be the last chapter for a while. School's getting intense right now. Leave reviews! Thanks for anyone who is reading this far. I appreciate every single one of you. :) *