Chapter 1: You're Not Alone

"James" I whimpered into my cell phone with tears swelling in my eyes. Every part of me wanted to break down about what just happened, but I knew I could never go back if I did.

I heard James grunt into the phone as he sat up in his bed. "Sam, what's wrong?" he asked me, his concern clearly obvious in his voice.

I blinked my eyes to hold back more tears and took a deep breath before answering. "D-Drew" I choked out from the back of my throat. "He cheated on me…"

The line was silent for a few seconds, only filled by the static between the lines. The thought of James leaving me too flashed in my head. Great, my one friend I needed now decided to ditch just like the other one. I was about to hang up when James' voice filled my ears. "I am so sorry" he spoke with a calm and understanding tone. "I… I'm just speechless that he would do that to you." He took a deep breath in and blew it out his mouth in disappointment. "You are such an amazing person and woman, and that guy was a complete dickhead for cheating on you. You are everything and more than all the other girls out there. He's a complete asshole for breaking your heart." Hearing James talk calmed me down a little, until he confirmed the dreaded c-word. Hearing him say it too made me come face to face with it all and realize that it was true.

Instead of thanking James for his kind words, I completely broke down over the phone. "Maybe he did it because I wasn't worth it" I blurted out. "I'm not good enough for any guy. I'll be forever alone for the rest of my life since no guy wants to settle for me." Even though my brain wasn't connecting with my mouth, I was starting to believe the words that were coming out of it.

James whispered into his cell, making soft shushing noises to help. "Listen to me" he said. His voice was a little louder in the speaker, probably because he moved it closer to his mouth. "I promise you that there is one special guy out there for you. Once you meet him, both of you will realize that you were soul mates. You are better than those cheap girls, and any genuine guy who is clear in the head can see that. One WILL come and swoop you up because he will realize you are worth it. SOON." After he finished speaking, I heard a small sniffle from his nose. "Now I have to go back to sleep, since we arranged for studio time tomorrow… But if you need me for any reason, I mean ANY, call me. Please. Even if you just need to talk. I'm here for you Sam. I always will be."

My eyes were filling with water, not over my ex-boyfriend anymore. It was because of the words James said. I was lucky to have someone like him who cared about me so much. I couldn't think of how to go on with life without him. Once I wiped the water from under my eyes, I adjusted the phone and smiled slightly. "Ok" I clamored out, still recovering from the crying session earlier. "I understand. And I promise I will. I'll let you go now."

James breathed a deep sigh of relief. "Good, I really do mean what I say…" Silence once again crept over the wires. "But anyway… Good night, Sam. Everything will work out for the better."

"Goodnight" I replied as my eyes shut. Just as my finger was about to hit the end button, I pulled the cell back up to my ear. "James?" I asked into the line, crossing my fingers that he didn't hang up. I needed to say one thing to him, and then he could go.

The whooshing of air came across to other line, followed by the soft rustling of the phone. "Yes?" I heard him say, barely whispering now.

My lips started to shake, my voice becoming very uneasy now. "I was just going to say… I-" This was it, the time I was going to tell him what I was always dying to admit before all of this happened. But something inside of me stopped me, realizing that it would be no use since he saw nothing more of me than as a friend. "I- I wanted to thank you... Thanks for everything. It really helped. I don't know what I would do without you. So thanks for being a great friend." I was ashamed of myself for not being strong enough to say what I really wanted. But I just didn't want to get hurt again. I couldn't take that risk.

"Oh…" his voice sounded a little disappointed again. "Well no problem. I'll always be your friend by your side. No matter what. I promise on my heart… and my hair." I chuckled slightly at that comment, since he always spend a ton of time perfecting his hair. "Ah, there's the girl I'm used to. Remember, I'm only a phone call away, ok?" My lips mumbled out a faint yes. "Alright, well get some sleep for me please? Don't dwell on it. It will make it easier. Have a good night's sleep, Sam. Night."

"Night James." The last thing I heard was James breathing before the connection ended. I just sat on the edge on my bed with the phone still pressed to my ear. Before hanging up, I finally built up the courage to say what I originally planned to. Just as the clock struck 12:00 AM, my lips breathed three little words that changed my whole view of my best friend from then on. "I love you..."

I woke up the next morning, realizing that I was a single woman once again. Two years of my life just thrown out the window because of one stupid girl. I already cried enough as I fell asleep last night, so there was no time for that again. Instead, I had to keep myself busy to prevent myself from doing any harm. To myself, my home, and my heart. My heart was the most fragile at this point.

After briefly rubbing my face and groaning, I rolled over to the other empty side of the bed. My body was still wrapped up in the covers, like a special cocoon for myself that I never wanted to break out of. Just as I opened my eyes, they locked onto my slick black iPhone placed perfectly on the fluffy pillow just sitting there for decoration. To make it seem like someone always stayed with me every night, wrapping his arms around me and leaving them there until morning. At first I couldn't remember what my cell phone was doing there, but then the memories came flooding over me again of the previous night. The unplanned trip to my boyfriend's house to surprise him for a movie night. The other girl lying in his bed with him. The violent argument. The break-up. The car-ride home. The phone-call to James… James. Just his name made me smile and sigh in bed. I reached for the phone, rubbing my thumb over the protective covering. The screen lit up right on my face, making my eyebrows scrunch together. I know I didn't hit the home button, so what was up with it? I then looked at the digits that kept increasing on the small screen time counter. 6:41:34. I glanced up at the alarm clock on the nightstand table. It read 6:30 AM. Let's see, 6:30 AM minus 6 hours is 12:30 AM. Then subtract 30 minutes, that's 11:30. Then 11 more equals 11:49… 11:49 PM. That's the time I called Jam- SHIT. No no no. Don't tell me I didn't hang up. Maybe my eyes were tricking me. Slowly making their way over to the phone, my eyes looked at the time again. 6:41:57. Damnit. I guess after everything, I just collapsed on the bed and went to sleep. What I didn't get was why didn't James hang up? I almost swore he did and then hearing the beeping that followed after. I prayed that he didn't hear what I last said. I wasn't ready to tell him in person, not like that. I was unstable from the raw break-up, so I really didn't need any more guy drama.

I knew James wasn't going to be up at this time, so I hit the end button quickly and tossed my phone on the cream carpet. My feet flung over the bed as I stretched my back and stood up, flinging the white covers back to my side. Picking my phone off the floor in one hand, I walked to my light blue bathroom and flicked on the light. Moving one foot slowly after another, I shuffled to the mirror and gasped at the ghastly reflection. My eyes were puffy and red, my mascara stains still clearly visible under my bottom eyelid. The pupils were dark and dull, showing no life compared to my usual light brown and cheery color. Next was the hair. It was sloppily put into a messy bun, each piece of wavy brown hair falling right into my face. Some was plastered against my forehead from all the sweating last night in my uncomfortable bed. A small chip of chocolate was in the corner of my mouth, along with a mint green dot up above. That ice cream didn't do anything to solve my problems, but it was delicious. The hot pink tank-top I had on was all wrinkled and half tucked into my black Victoria's Secret pajama shorts. Yup, these were all signs of a typical meltdown over a break-up. Every girl who has been through one suffered the same appearance too.

Once I had seen enough of my terrible image, I walked from my bathroom, through my bedroom, and headed down the hallway towards the steps that led to the front door. I wasn't expecting someone anyway, so I trudged through and into my kitchen for another cold bowl of ice cream. Looks like I would be surviving on this for a while. I looked at my cell and noticed it only had 3% left. Guess all that time on the "phone" killed the battery. Might as well charge it soon. After putting my phone down, I walked over to the freezer. Grabbing the gallon of mint chocolate chip ice cream, I quickly undid the lid and slipped my giant spoon inside for some tasty desser-well breakfast. One mouthful after another, I kept shoving the delectable soft treat in my mouth. My feet led to me to the kitchen counter, where I jumped up and scooted on top to find a comfortable position. The coldness of the granite sent chills down my spine, but it helped numb the pain from the break-up. A good 15 minutes went by as I sat there and kept eating, the amount of ice cream slowly dwindling down with each spoonful. Just as I was scraping the sides of the carton for any left-over ice cream, I heard my house phone ringing from the living room. I walked over to my phone but stopped for a second to look at the stove time. 6:54 AM. Who would be calling this early? I know it can't be James. Even when he records, it's not until about 11. So he usually sleeps in until 8:30 and then gets up. Before overanalyzing this, I hit on the on button and slide the earpiece to my ear. "Hello?" I spoke with a cautious and confused tone.

"Hey… It's me." Me. The one word that automatically made me recognize the voice. A heavy lump developed in my throat, making it extremely hard to breathe and swallow. Anger and hurt circulated the tense air around the very spot I was standing. My mouth fell open as my hands slowly slid away from the phone, falling right down to my fingertips before smashing on the ground. It almost seemed slow motion, the phone not making as single sound against the hard floor. Why would he be calling?

So what do you think? Should I continue or not? Leave a review and let me know! I'll update the next chapter (which is already typed, by the way :D ) during mid-Sunday if I get one or more reviews (going easy on the review number right now since this was posted so late and the fact that it's my first one). Thanks everyone!
~ Sam