27

While I had been asleep, the story of my return to the fort had spread like wildfire among the guards and Imperial Cultists. On my way to see Mirisa, I bumped into a young female Cultist, one of the survivors of the attack, and she nearly tripped over herself in expressing her overwhelming gratitude to me. She acted like I had single-handedly rescued the entire fort.

"Blessings to you," she blubbered. "What you did was so amazing, we cannot thank you enough. We will contact our superiors and tell them what you've done for Mirisa, I'm sure they will want to thank you personally."

"That's really not necessary," I insisted, gently pushing her back. "Just tell me where Mirisa is. I'd like to see how she's doing."

"Oh, of course! She's in her room upstairs. Here, I can show you the way."

She led me up to the private rooms on the second floor and thanked me twenty more times before heading off to complete her daily chores. I shook my head in vague annoyance, bothered by her sincere outpouring of emotion. I didn't know how to deal with that.

And I certainly didn't want them sending messages about me to their leaders in Mournhold or the Imperial City, or anywhere else for that matter. I wanted to keep my presence here as inconspicuous as possible. The last thing I wanted was for anyone in a position of authority to be interested in me. I was tempted to chase the girl down and tell her so, but then that would probably just make her suspicious.

First I meet Cavorian and he knows so much it makes me nervous, and now the Cultists want to inform their leaders about me. This was getting far too complicated.

I sighed and decided to deal with it later. Carefully, I opened the door to Mirisa's room and peeked inside. The room was dark, but a few small candles were lit. Mirisa was in bed, and her fiance Jeleen was slouched in a chair by the bed, his hands in his lap and his chin resting on his chest, gently snoozing. He'd probably been awake all night, and he didn't wake even when I snuck into the room and walked over to the bed.

Mirisa must have been a lighter sleeper, because her eyes drifted open as soon as I was beside her and she smiled sleepily when she saw me.

"Good morning," I said quietly, not wanting to wake Jeleen.

"Yes," Mirisa breathed. "Is it only morning?"

"Not quite midday yet."

"How do you feel?" she asked.

I almost laughed. "How do I feel? I think I should be asking you how you feel. I was told that you'll be okay, but you need lots of rest."

"Yes, lots of rest for me. It could have been much worse."

"Yes," I said somberly, remembering how close it had been. We were unimaginably lucky to have made it as far as we did. Any one of a million things could have stopped us, and even a short delay could have resulted in the two of us frozen to death out in the wilderness. They might not have even found our bodies.

"You're a hero, you know," Mirisa said.

"Some people sure seem to think that way, but I don't."

"Then you're wrong."

"Are you sure you're going to be okay?" I asked, changing the subject.

She nodded slightly. "They say I lost a lot of blood, but in time my body will create more and then I'll be fine. Until then I'll stay in bed."

"Jeleen and the others will take good care of you, I'm sure."

She glanced over at Jeleen, still slumped in his chair, snoring slightly, and grinned. "I guess he needs some rest as well. He stayed up with me all night to make sure I was okay. He said he was going to see you as well, but I guess he'll do that later."

"He doesn't have to," I said. "I don't like all the attention. It feels weird when people thank me like that. I don't deserve that much gratitude."

"Of course you do," Mirisa said. "The fact that you don't think you deserve it, proves how much you really do. I told them about how you fought off the snow goblins. Few people could have done all that, and brought me all the way back here alone."

"Yeah, well," I mumbled, uncomfortable again. "I'm not always such a great person. I have bad days too."

Mirisa smiled, as if amused at my inability to brush off their praise. "I told them what you wanted me to," she said softly. "About the Nord who attacked me."

I nodded. "I appreciate that. I hope you understand why I asked that of you."

"I understand, but I must be honest with you. I don't agree with it. But you saved my life, Sasha. I can tell one little lie in return for that. I owe you that much."

"You don't owe me anything, but thank you just the same."

"And I think I understand what you mean now," Mirisa added. "What you said the other day about letting the past go. After what happened to you, I can't believe you're willing to stay here with the Imperial Legion. I don't know if I can be as forgiving."

"I don't forgive anyone," I said. "I just don't judge all of the Imperial Legion by what a small number of them have done. And you shouldn't judge the Nords because a small number of them have hurt you."

Mirisa paused a moment and then smiled in understanding. "Yes, of course. Stendarr teaches us mercy and forbearance. Those who have committed no wrongs are safe, it is only those who commit offense that are judged in the eyes of the law. How could I have forgotten this?"

I didn't have an easy answer for her, but I was relieved that what I told her was backed up by her own religious teachings. Stendarr was one of their Nine Divines, the God of Mercy if I remembered correctly. He had some connection with an older Nord God, but I was not very educated about religious matters. I barely followed the religion of my own people, especially since my time in prison.

"Thank you again, Sasha," Mirisa said. "For reminding me. I know you are not a worshiper of the Nine, but perhaps they are working through you."

"Perhaps," I said with a smile. "But the only one of your Gods I'm interested in is your God of War, Talos."

"He is known as Ysmir among the Nords, is he not?"

"Yes, we call him the Dragonborn."

I touched her arm supportively and said, "I better be going now. You still have to rest. But I'll be back later, when you're feeling a bit better."

"I would like that," Mirisa said. "Have a good day, Sasha."

"You too," I said, and went to the door. "When Jeleen wakes up, let him know I was here."

I closed the door quietly and walked out into the hallway. It had been a long time since I had thought about the Gods, and the talk with Mirisa had brought back some memories of my youth, learning about the Sky Goddess Kyne and her husband, the God Shor, who rules the afterlife in Sovngarde. It felt strange to think back to those days, considering I had little use for the Gods now. I suppose I still believed, but I did not worship anymore.

Maybe one day I would see Sovngarde for myself and take the final ride with Shor, and maybe I would see my father there. But then again, maybe not.

I left the Cult building and walked out into the cold afternoon air. There was no time for me to worry about the afterlife when there was still living to do.