Chapter Eleven

I couldn't see my mom from the angle I was standing, but I just knew she was smiling. Johnny looked at me with a serious face. "Never will I leave you again, Angela. That was a huge mistake. I need you."

"I need you too, John. I'll always need you. Please don't go so far away next time." I buried my face into his chest, breathing in his personal scent. "I cant bear it anymore." I tugged at his brown hair.

"I'm sorry," he whispered in my ear. "You wont ever have to worry about that, 'cause wherever you are, I am."

I laughed joyfully and we stayed there staring at eachother with huge smiles on our faces. I'd finally stopped crying, and he wiped my face.

"No more cryin' over me, 'kay?" He kissed my lips again.

I nodded. "Okay."

"Well if you two are done hugging and kissing eachother, who's hungry?" My mom walked up to us.

Johnny and I both laughed and followed her into the kitchen.

"Ma, I was gonna cook John something."

"Oh, alright then. You can do it." She handed me the spatula and walked over to John who was sitting at the dining room table playing with his fingers nervously. When she got closer to him, he looked up and acknowledged her.

"Oh, I apologize. I'm so rude." He held his hand out. "It's nice to meet you, Ms. Black."

"As it's very nice to meet you." She turned over to me. "Oh, Angela! You've got yourself a handsome man!"

Johnny chuckled and hid his face partially behind some of his hair. "Thank you."

I smiled and turned back around to the stove. Didn't want my man's breakfast all burnt up. "John, you must be starving!"

He sighed. "I am. Haven't eaten anything today..." His stomach growled.

"Well, good thing I'm almost done. Mom, I'll make you some coffee in just a minute, alright?"

"No problem, honey. So John, tell me a little bit about yourself. Where're you from?"

"Uh, well my folks are from Long Island in New York, but I grew up in Queens."

"Interesting. Is it nice there?" She folded her hands in front of her.

"I like it there, but New York does have it's downside to it too. Every place does."

"You can say that again," I said, cracking eggs at the stove. "I hate Baltimore..." I finished up in the kitchen and served Johnny his plate.

"Thanks, babe." He smiled at me.

"You're quite welcome." I kissed him. "Now eat up!" As soon as he got the plate, he devoured everything. It made me feel good to know he liked my cooking. I guess it wasn't totally as bad as I thought it was after all. "Is it good, John?"

He nodded, a bacon strip sticking out of his mouth. I had to laugh at that.

"Slow down, sweetheart. Jeez. I know you're famished, but damn, take your time!"

"Oh, leave the man alone, girl," Mom said. "Let him eat."

I set down two mugs of coffee for her and him.

"Aren't you gonna eat anything?" she asked me.

"No, I already ate this morning. I'm fine."

After about five minutes, Johnny was done with his plate. "Wow, that was great! Beats granola bars by a long shot."

I laughed at him. "Does Marky still eat them?"

"Nah, only when were tourin'. He knows he'll get it from me if he does, though," he said, followed by a loud burp. "Oh, whoops..." My mom and I didn't hesitate to break into laughter. Poor Johnny sat there with a face as red as an apple and an embarrassed smirk.

"You're excused John," I said. Johnny chuckled.

"So, I'm sure you have all our records, right?" he said, switching the subject.

"Oh, you know me all too well." I smiled and winked at him.

"Wait...what?" Mom looked at both Johnny and I with a confused look on her face. "Records?"

Oh, shit. That's right! She didn't know who he was just yet. "John, I think we should tell her." My heart sank...I hope she didn't flip out.

He nodded. "Yeah, you're right...Ms. Black? Uh, there's something that I must confess."

"Oh? Is there something wrong?"

"No, no. It's just, well...see the thing is...I'm uh, in a band."

"Oh, are you? Well, that's not bad news."

"Well see, I'm not from just any band..." Johnny scratched his head. "I'm from the Ramones."

She got up from her chair. "Oh my! That god-awful group?"

Damn, I knew Johnny's pride just collapsed on him. I got angry. "Mom."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I guess I'm just a bit shocked." She cleared her throat. "John, dear, I didn't mean to offend you. It's just that, I find the Ramones a bit...well, noisy and disruptive."

Johnny laughed. Damn, those teeth of his drew me in every time. "Oh, we are. We play pretty loudly. I can understand if you don't like us, we all got different tastes. The Ramones aren't for everybody."

"Thanks for understanding, honey." She touched his arm. "But I'll be willing to give you guys a try."

"Alright, sounds great." He smiled. "I'm the guitarist in the group, by the way."

She turned to me. "Angela, how did you meet him? He's obviously very famous."

Johnny and I both laughed, going down memory lane of that night at the concert, where I was courageous enough to climb onto the stage. I felt my face turning hot, remembering it. "Oh, it's a long story..."

"What's so funny?"

"Oh, nothin', nothin'. Doesn't matter, Ms. Black." He walked over to me and held my hand. "What matters is that I love Angela, and I always will. I promise ya, I'll take real good care of her." He looked at me. "She's my everything."

"As you are mine, John." I hugged him.

"Aw, now isn't that beautiful?" Mom grinned. "I'm so happy for the both of you."

"Thanks, mom."

For the rest of the day, the three of us sat and talked on the couch about the advantages of Johnny's career. Mom got more and more impressed by him as he spoke. Looks like I didn't have to worry about any parental rejection problems. If my dad were still here, I knew he'd probably not like John. But then again, my dad disapproved of a lot of the guys I dated in the past.

As we all socialized and sipped on scotch-whiskey later on that night, I had an idea...I wanted to tell my friends, but then again, what would they say? They all thought Johnny was mean to anyone he ever talked to, and that just wasn't true at all. I should invite them over tomorrow so that they can all see what he was really like. I brought up the idea to him as we tidied up my bed for us to sleep in.

"I don't know, Angie. They might tell people."

"No, if I tell them to zip it, trust me they will. It's just...you know, they have this biased view of what you're like, and I'm sick of it. I wanted you to meet them and prove them wrong."

Johnny sighed. "Well...oh, alright. I'm okay with it, I guess. But they CAN'T tell anybody I'm in town, 'cause the next thing you know, you'll have fuckin' paparazzi and news reporters at your doorstep." He started taking off his clothes. "And I don't want that for you. Hell, not even the guys know where I am right now."

"Well, what'd you tell them you were going yesterday?"

He shrugged. "Just said I was goin' outta town for a while and I'd be back in a couple days. They didn't ask no other questions, just let me leave."

We climbed into bed. Johnny traced his fingers on my skin. I knew what he was doing, and I chuckled.

"Looks like someone's happy tonight."

"Of course I am. Why wouldn't I be?" He leaned forward and gently bit my neck.

"Oh, I guess I've got a vampire in the bed with me." I laughed and leaned my head back more so he could kiss my throat. He suddenly turned me stomach up and intertwined his hands with mine and kissed me passionately. The feel of his mouth on mine drove me wild on the inside. "Oh, John. Baby..." We sat up on the bed, and I took his big hands and put them on my hips.

"Damn, I missed the feel of your body. It's so smooth and delicious..." He began to leave little kisses on my arms, starting from my hands and working his way up.

"Then you don't even wanna begin to know what I've missed." I pushed his hair back, his sharp eyebrows cutting my heart open. "I missed everything about you, John. Everything. You know...I gotta tell you something."

Johnny stopped kissing my body and sat back, listening. "Sure, sweetie. What's on you mind?"

I let out a huge sigh and looked down at my bed. "That day you left for D.C...it was hard for me to get myself together after that. I tried so hard to forget you John, but I just couldn't. I'd cry myself to sleep every night, I'd dream of you constantly. You know, this room is where I spent most of my time. Just crying and sleeping all the time..."

A look of shame spread across Johnny's face as I told him my story.

"And I remember one day last year...my mom was out buying groceries or something...and I went to the bathroom with a rope in my hand..."

"Oh, god no. Angela, don't tell me-"

"Yes, I was gonna do it too. John I almost killed myself, but I didn't do it. I didn't do it 'cause I knew that one day," I smiled and touched his face, "Just like you did today, you'd come knocking on my door again. I held some hope inside me, even though it felt like I'd never get my wish. But I kept on hoping, and tried to believe that you hadn't forgot me, that...you still loved me."

"Angie, I thought about you every day. I even thought of you while I was performing. You were all I could think about for such a long time. Dee Dee and them, they noticed that I changed, 'cause I wasn't as energetic and on top of everything like I was before. Sometimes when they had conversations I'd just say I was goin' to bed early. For me, not thinking about it was the only way I could cope with the fact that I'd lost you. I didn't know no other way. And, ya know, I guess maybe that's why I didn't call you also. I couldn't bear to talk to you, knowing I couldn't be with you cause I'm Johnny Ramone, and I have a commitment to my band."

"I understand, John. I do."

"But...sweetie, why would you get so sad to the point where you almost hung yourself?"

I chuckled humorlessly, tears in my eyes. I looked up at him. "You really don't know how much I love you, do you?"

"Well, I think I'm starting to get an idea." He laughed and kissed my nose, then his face was serious again. "Oh baby, I'm sorry you went through all that 'cause of me." He embraced me in a hug. "Please, please forgive me."

"I forgive you, John." I hugged him back. "I forgive you. But please don't leave me ever again. I cant bear the pain. Its just too much..."

We kissed and held eachother into the night. This was the healthiest, the happiest, the most relieved that I felt in such a long time.