Chapter 14

December 23 – 10 AM

There comes a time when life attacks us from out of the darkness and throws everything off course. At times, we struggle to find the courage to face it. And during this struggle, this desperate moment, you must choose your path. Will you fight to stay on course? Or will you embrace a new direction? Will you be haunted by the choice you made? Each morning you choose to move forward or simply give up.

He pulled in the driveway and looked at the house. He'd been to her house before, but today it looked lifeless and empty. He got out of the car, walked up to the door and knocked. Silence.

He knew she was home. Her mother had called him and said she hadn't left it since she returned home yesterday morning. He began banging on the door this time, making it known that he was outside. Again, silence.

He sighed to himself. He bent over and started digging in the flower bed for the fake rock holding the spare key to get in. He would have never known to look there if she hadn't forgotten her key the first time she brought him to the house for a visit.

Within seconds, he found the key and had the door open. The house was barren. Other than the furniture, there was nothing else in the house that would even give an indication that someone lived there. He slowly climbed the stairs and made his way down the hall to her master bedroom. The door was cracked and the lights were off. As he nudged the door open, he could make out a lump under the covers. He assumed it must be her. He immediately drew the blinds, letting the sun pour in the room. Within seconds, the lump under the covers began moving.

"Hey, what the fuck?" Trish's head popped out from under the blanket. She began rubbing her eyes, trying to get adjusted to the light so she could better see her perpetrator. Her eyes were red and puffy, evidence that she had been crying. She had no makeup remaining on her face either. Her hair was knotted and messy, as if it hadn't been combed in days.

"Adam? What are you doing here?"

"Hi sweetie, or should I say smelly? I'm not really sure which one works better for you at this moment, though I'm leaning toward smelly…"

"Haha, very funny. What do you want? And again, what are you doing here?"

"Your mother called me. She's worried about you…she said you're not answering your phone and you wouldn't unlock the door."

"Yeah and somehow you still managed to find your way in." Trish said sarcastically, sitting up in bed.

"I guess you never told your mom about the spare key?" Adam sat down on the bed next to her.

"Nope…but I don't recall telling you about it either MacGyver." Within seconds she remembered when she took him to the house for the first time. "Nevermind…I guess I don't need to tell you about it when you watched me use it."

Adam chuckled while settling in against the headboard.

"So what do you want?"

"Come on Trish! What do I want? I want you to stop being dead to the outside world! Do you know how many people are worried about you? Let's list them. We have your mother, and your sisters, your aunts, Amy, Jay, oh and we can't forget to add me to that list as well."

Trish cursed under her breath, "Why are Amy and Jay concerned exactly? Wait, wait…let me guess. You told them."

"Well, not exactly, I mean, you're somewhat correct. Your mother called Amy. Amy was the one who told your mother to call me. And then I just so happened to be on the phone with Jay when she called me. So, I may or may not have mentioned it to him…"

"Well you don't have to worry about me cause I'm fine."

"Trish, you're not fine! You're life has just been turned upside down. Your heart is aching, your mind is running in overdrive, and you feel lost. I know this, because I've been through it. But things will get better I promise you."

Trish became hysterical. "Adam, I appreciate you coming over…I really do. But, I'm not sure you really know how I feel. I mean, yes, obviously my heart is aching. But do you have any idea just how lost I feel? 20 years Adam…20 years I've been with Ron. Do you realize how long that's been? He's been my life as far back as I can remember. And now he's gone. And I'm fighting with regret and abandonment…and love? My whole concept of love has been ripped apart. I'm trying to find some sort of meaning to my life that will make me want to get out of this bed and continue on. And to be honest with you, at this moment in time, I've got nothing. So if you don't mind, right now I just want to be left alone."

Adam grabbed Trish hands, "Trish, I…" She immediately pulled away from him. "I'm being very serious right now Adam! Please, just go! Get the fuck out!"

Adam was torn. He wasn't sure what to do. He had always regarded Trish as the sister he's never had. It's just, Amy used to handle the big issues like this. And she's never freaked out on him like this before. He sighed, "If that's what you want, then I'll leave. But I want you to know that being alone isn't going to make anything better. You need a support system to help guide you. If you need me, please call."

She nodded as she tucked back down under the covers. Adam drew the blinds before he left the room. On his way out, he stopped in the kitchen and hid all the sharp objects…anything that she could possibly use to inflict harm to herself…just as a precaution.

There comes a time when every life goes off course. In this desperate moment who will you choose to be? Will you bravely face your greatest fear and move forward with faith? Or will you succumb to the darkness in your soul?

Amy picked up the cell as soon as it rang. "Adam, is she ok? Are you with her?"

"I just left. Ames, she's a mess. No wait, that doesn't even properly describe it…she's a disaster. She kicked me out…said she wanted to be alone."

"And you just left? You didn't put up a fight? You didn't try to talk to her?" Amy was irate. She should never send a man to do a woman's job. Unfortunately, Amy was currently in Nicaragua and nowhere near an airport.

"Yes, Amy, I tried to tell her I was staying. She freaked out and screamed at me to get out! I tried to talk to her, she wasn't hearing any of it. You were the one to always talk her down when she needed advice! Who the hell does she confide in today? What girls does she travel with her now?"

"Not a she, Adam, but a he. She's been travelling with Randy. She said they've gotten pretty close, but I'm not sure she how much she's confided in him. Let me try and give him a call. Maybe he can call her and calm her down or something."

"I don't think so Ames, she's not picking up her phone. She has it on silent and to be honest, I don't think she would even care if the damn thing shut down."

"I'm still calling him. I'll talk to you later. Merry Christmas…and tell your family the same."

When life comes rushing at you from out of the darkness, will you let down your defenses and reach out to someone? Who will you choose to help face it? Will you find comfort in someone unexpected? Will it be someone you trust? Will their love for you help them to guide you to the light? Or will they lose their way in the darkness?

December 23, 11 AM

Randy picked up his cell as he made Alannah a snack. "Hello?"

"Hey Randy, its Amy."

"Amy! Hey stranger! I haven't heard from you in a really long time! How are things going?"

"Things are going pretty well for me right now Randy, but I didn't call to catch up. I mean, I know we have to, but there's a more pressing matter at hand right now."

Randy's smile instantly faded, he could tell something was wrong…it was evident in her voice. Amy was always cool and collected and right now, she was talking a mile a minute. He's honestly never heard her sound so scared before. "What's wrong?"

"It's Trish…"

Randy's heart started pounding. He automatically started to fear the worst and knew in the pit of his stomach it had to do with Ron. "What happened? What did he do to her?"

Amy was taken aback; she's never heard Randy sound so worried before. She assumed Trish must have confided in him about her situation with Ron. "Ron packed up all his things…he moved out. He asked her for a divorce."

Randy's heart fell. He felt awful for Trish, but also felt a sigh of relief because he knew they weren't right for each other. "How's she handling it?"

"Not well, that's why I'm calling you. I don't know how close the two of you have gotten, but I don't know who else to turn to." Amy started to become frantic, "Adam tried to stop over today to see her but she threw him out. He said she was a disaster…she's extremely lost and confused and she's pushing everyone away. She hasn't been out of bed since yesterday morning. She's locked away in that house in her room, hiding under the covers with no lights on. And she's not answering her cell phone. And I'm stuck in Nicaragua. The soonest I can get home would be the day after Christmas. Randy I'm scared."

"Ok Amy, first I need you to calm down. Trish is a logical thinker. She isn't depressive or anything like that, so I'm sure we are just blowing this out of proportion."

Amy sniffled, "I'm sure we are…I mean I hope we are. I just…I just think back to Chris and the horrific tragedy with…" She didn't finish. It was still hard to talk about what had happened with Chris Benoit so many years ago. The WWE had written it off and pretty much erased him from history. But that day will always burn in his friend's minds and hearts. "I just don't want to look back and regret saying, we should've done something more."

Randy sat down, his brain on the same page as Amy's. Neither of them thought Trish would do something like that, but no one thought Benoit would either. "Shit…" he ran his hand through his hair. "I'll see if I can get a last minute ticket up there. I'll fly up and see if I can talk her down from the ledge she's dangling from."

"Randy, that's nuts! Christmas is in two days!"

"What else do you propose we do? If her family isn't getting through to her, and Adam failed as well, I'm like the last hope. I mean, I'll have to come home tomorrow morning…since it is Christmas Eve and all. But hopefully I can get her out of the mode she's in."

"Thanks Randy…you know, she's mentioned the friendship the two of you were forming. You obviously have gotten closer since the last time I talked to her. That's a really great thing. She's really lucky to have someone like you in her life. I'll text you her address. The spare key is in a rock on the left side in a flower garden. I'll call you later on tonight to see how things are going."

Randy ran up stairs and started packing an overnight bag. It could have been the quickest pack job he's ever done. He walked into the living room to a concerned Sam. "What's wrong? Why did you pack a bag? What's going on?"

"I need to get a flight to Toronto as soon as possible. Trish is going through an extremely dark place in life right now and is shutting everyone out. I'm going to see if I can get through to her."

"Trish Stratus? When did you become such great friends with her?"

Randy sighed, he had been meaning to tell Sam that he'd been traveling with her, but just hadn't found the right moment yet. And though now was not the opportune moment, there was no way to avoid it. "We've been traveling together a lot since she's made her return. Since both of us appear on RAW, we decided to ride together to save on money. I wanted to tell you sooner, but I thought you would be irate."

Sam was silent for a few minutes, "Why would I be irate? I trust you…you're allowed to have girl-friends. Why is she in a dark place?"

Randy was surprised. She was ok with this? She trusts him? Since when? "She's getting a divorce from her husband who she's been in a relationship with for 20 years."

"Wow, that must be really hard to deal with…but Randy, what about Christmas? You're not going to choose her over your family are you?"

"God no Sam! I'm going to take the first flight home tomorrow morning. I'll be home in time for your family's Christmas Eve get together."

Sam nodded as she stood and lifted Alannah. "Al, give you daddy a kiss, he has to go work for a day, but he'll be back tomorrow."

"By Dadda!"

"Bye Sweetie. I love you both."

Both Sam and Alannah kissed Randy as he walked out the door.

Life can come rushing at you from out of the darkness, and when it does - is there someone in your life you can count on? Someone who will watch over you when you stumble and fall? And in that moment, give you the strength to face your fears alone?

December 23, 4 PM

Randy easily found the rock with the spare key and let himself in. He'd never been to her house before, so he headed upstairs, trying to find the master bedroom. As he walked down the hall, all the doors were open except for one and he assumed that's where she was. As he pushed open the door, he could hear her sobbing from under the blanket.

Suddenly, she shot up from under the covers, screaming, "ADAM! I thought I told you to leave me the fuck alone!"

Randy flipped on the light switch and couldn't believe the image he saw in front of him. It was like she was a shell of her former self. Her eyes were red, swollen, and bloodshot, her hair was a disaster, her cheeks were puffy and irritated, and the dark circles under her eyes almost resembled black eyes from lack of sleep.

"Randy! Oh my god! What are you doing here? How did you…"

He instantly moved toward her and embraced her in a hug. "Amy called me. She is worried sick about you…and so am I for that matter."

Trish broke down into tears in his arms. She buried her head in his chest and sobbed. Randy sat down on the bed and held her in his arms. He didn't say anything…he just let her cry. He tried soothing her by running a hand down her head and rubbing her back. She cried for at least an hour before she fell asleep in his arms.

Randy assumed it was the first time she'd slept since yesterday. He thought about getting up, but couldn't pull himself to let her go. She seemed so peaceful sleeping. And he didn't want to disturb her either. So he laid there and listened to her breathing. Even though she hadn't showered in two days, he still thought she smelled wonderful.

Trish woke about an hour later to find Randy still holding her. "Oh, I'm sorry Randy. You know you didn't have to lay here with me."

He smiled, "I was afraid I'd wake you if I moved. You look exhausted."

She nodded, "Yea, I couldn't sleep last night…so I packed my things."

Randy looked around the room. "Trish, there are only four boxes in here. You're a woman, you have to have more things than this."

Trish looked down and started twirling her wedding ring that still remained on her finger. "Well, once I started packing, I realized almost everything reminded me of him…and I want to forget about those memories, so I threw them all away."

Randy frowned, "Don't you think you're going to regret that someday?"

Trish started crying again, "No…what I regret is wasting 20 years of my life on him."

"You know…I'm not a huge fan of regret. You should never regret the decisions you make in your life…because there is always something to be learned from every situation. You may not realize the lesson yet, but one day you will. And then you'll be thankful for that so-called regretful decision."

"Maybe you're right. Randy, I don't even know where to start. How do I even begin to get over this?"

"Well, you can start by putting one foot in front of the other. You don't have to take huge steps, but you also can't lie in this bed for the rest of your life. So, how about we focus on your first steps being, to stand up, and get out of this room. Then, we'll work on a shower, and then getting out of this house. And if you're not ready yet, then that's fine. But you at least have to try."

Trish's crying lessened and she took a deep breath. "You're right…I can't lie here forever."

Trish got up out of bed and started pacing around the room. "Are you hungry? You must be…"

Randy smiled, "Yes, I am a little hungry. Want to go raid the kitchen?"

She nodded as they headed downstairs.

After taking an hour to find the knives that Adam had hid, Trish had salmon in the oven and a salad put together. Randy watched as she cooked. She obviously enjoyed it. She seemed to be at peace as she made their meal. It was probably the time in two days that her mind wasn't focused on Ron.

"So, how did you manage to fly up here on such short notice? I mean, how did Sam take it?"

Randy sighed, "Well after I got off the phone with Amy, I packed a bag in like 5 minutes." He chuckled lightly, thinking about how worked up he was…she had him so worried. "Then I just came out and told Sam that we'd been traveling together. It wasn't exactly the most opportune moment to tell her, but what are you going to do?"

"And she was ok with everything?"

"Yeah, amazingly she was. She was so understanding. She even told me I was allowed to have girlfriends."

"Oh Randy, that's great! It sounds like she's getting over her trust issues?"

Randy looked down and played with his food, "Yea, I guess. I don't know…she's been acting weird lately. I can't help but think something is wrong."

"Maybe she's just stressed with the holidays…ya know?"

Randy shrugged, "Possibly. So…do you want to talk about things, or is too much right now?"

Trish looked down and then made eye contact with him. "I came home yesterday morning and all of his things were packed. He said he wasn't trying to leave before I got home, but wanted to have everything ready. I thought he was leaving me, but then he presented me with divorce papers. He said he wanted a wife that didn't need to be in the spotlight all the time. He said I was more in love with my job than I was with him."

"I can't believe he gave up so quickly. You would think he would've taken more time to try and work things out…because 20 years is a long time."

Trish nodded, "I've been wondering the same thing. Maybe he's known this for a long time, but was just lying to himself. I don't know for sure, but if I'm not the type of woman he wants to be with, then why continue being unhappy?"

There was a long silence between the two of them. "I feel like I have no idea who I am anymore."

Randy looked at her, and put his hands over hers, "Don't say that…you know who you are. You're Trish Fucking Stratus. You're a strong, independent, beautiful, driven woman who would never let a man define her. He was a piece of your life Trish…he wasn't your entire life. You need to tell yourself that any time you feel lost."

Trish gave him a weak smile, "You are so wise…when did you become so smart?"

Randy chuckled, "When I took a step back and looked at the man that I had become. I hurt so many women, made so many enemies. I was cocky, arrogant, and disrespectful. I needed an attitude adjustment and I realized that no one could help me except myself. I was my own worst enemy."

"So what do you say about getting out of this house for a little bit? Is there anything fun to do around here?"

Trish hesitated at first and then nodded, "Actually, there is…how are you on skates?"

"You mean, like ice skating?"

She giggled, "Yeah!"

"Not very good…are you sure we should be partaking in a sport that could cause us injury? I'm sure Mr. McMahon would not be happy about this."

"Oh please, the only thing you'll hurt is your ego when you fall on your ass! I'm going to shower quickly and then we can go."

Once he heard the water running upstairs, he called Amy. "Hey, I'm here. I got here around 4."

"Is she ok?"

"Yeah, she's alright. I mean, she's obviously hurting. But her crying has slowed down and she's speaking. I even got her laughing."

Amy sighed, "Thank you Randy. I was so worried about her."

"I think everyone is. But I'm working on her. She's in the shower now. I'm getting her out of this house for a little bit. Then I'm going to try and get her to her mother's tomorrow morning before my flight leaves."

"What time does your flight leave?"

"At one. I'll try to convince her to call you too."

"Thank you so much Randy! She really is lucky to have you in her life!"

"Well, she's lucky to have you too Amy. Remember, I wouldn't be here if you hadn't called me. I'll talk to you later Amy."

He ended the call and sat down on the couch. If someone would have told him a year ago that he'd be sitting in Trish Stratus' living room, he would have laughed at them. But, within three months, she had spun into his life like a whirlwind and created these feelings that he's been trying to deny ever since. It was at that point he finally admitted to himself, he's flirting with danger.