Chapter Eighteen

I intertwined my hands with Joey's. I barely knew him, yet he felt like an older brother or someone I could trust. I loved Johnny with all my heart, but there were probably some things that I couldn't talk to him about because we'd end up fighting. I certainly didn't want that, or rather, I'd try to avoid it as much as possible. "I really missed you, Joey. I missed all of you. I was so upset when you guys left."

Joey nodded. "Yeah, I saw ya. You were crying. I remember."

My face turned a light pink. I didn't know my crying was that noticeable when Johnny was getting ready to leave back then. I should have been better about that. "Oh...sorry."

"Nah, don't be sorry darlin'. You were sad, I mean what can ya do. Ya know?"

"Yeah, that's true." I put my arms around him. "Well I'm glad I'm here now."

"Me too."

I had to admit, it would be easier if I had a guy like Joey as a boyfriend. But this was my challenge that I had to see if I could handle. Loving a man like Johnny Ramone was very hard. I knew that at times I'd probably want to tear my hair out, or his...but there was just one thing...I was in love with him, and I probably always will be.

Johnny was difficult, but it was his assertiveness, his inner strength that attracted me in the first place. It was what drew me in the first moment I saw him. I knew he was different. He wasn't nice like the rest of the members. He was a hard person to try to get along with. That was why he was known as the unfriendly Ramone. But I knew it was just a front, really. I knew who he really was...

Johnny only acted that way because there had to be some kind of father-like figure in the band. Rock and Roll was full of too much freedom, too much instability and too much rioting. He was the one that made sure noone got out of control. I think if it weren't for Johnny the Ramones probably wouldn't have went as far as this. The Ramones needed John to keep things stable around here.

He walked back from some room he was in and asked for a beer. I hoped he didn't get upset that Joey and I were sitting this closely together. He looked over at us...and didn't do anything. Hm. Maybe he cooled down a bit after that long trip. Just then, Dee Dee and Marky walked through the door with tons of bags. Junk food, probably.

"Hey look, it's Angela!" Dee Dee saw me sitting on the couch. "It's been a while since I've seen ya."

"Yeah I know." I got up and kissed him on the cheek, then hugged him. "I missed you, Dee Dee."

"Aw, I missed you too. Glad to see ya again." He chuckled. "Um, Angela?"

"Hm?"

"I uh...I kinda need to put these bags down, so..."

"Oh! Oh I'm sorry. Would you like some help?"

"No, no. I'm alright. You just sit down and look pretty."

I blushed. "Well, alright then. Hey, where's Marky?"

"Right here, sweetie." He waved his arm, and I spotted him out. I waved back at him. Why did I feel like Riff Randall from "Rock and Roll High School"? Well, whatever...

"Angie."

It was Johnny's voice. I turned and faced him. "Yeah, baby?"

He patted his thigh, motioning for me to sit on his lap. I laughed and walked over to him and sat. He put his beer down next to the chair he was sitting in, and wrapped his arms around my waist. I loved the feel of his fingers on my stomach. He had huge hands, and they were warm too. Lovely combination.

"Um..." Marky chuckled as he took out all of the food from the bags. "Is it just me, or did she just call him 'baby'?"

"Yeah, she did just call me that." Johnny smiled. He moved his hands up towards my arms and used his thumbs to caress my biceps. Jesus, where had he been all my life?

"Oh, I see now." Marky smiled and nodded. I blushed. I hated getting attention this way. "Okay. Well anyways, we bought some uh...like a bunch of crap, so everybody," He pointed towards the mountain of bags of chips on the small wooden table, "Go and eat whatever ya want."

Everyone got up and rummaged through the junk food.

"Here babe, let me get up," Johnny said. Of course. Even after we stopped by a small diner on our little road trip he'd want to eat again. Why am I not surprised?

I sighed and got up from him. I wish men didn't eat all of the damn time. For the next half an hour, I was filled with a room full of guys chowing to their hearts content and chugging beer. Great. What was I supposed to do now? Watch them?

"Uh, so guys...how have you all been?"

They made caveman sounds and nodded as their mouths were full. I had to laugh at that.

"I got your new album! Sounds great."

"Wait, how'd ya get it? We didn't even release it yet," Dee Dee said.

"John gave it to me as a present when he came to see me in Baltimore."

"I told 'er she should consider herself pretty lucky. She's the first person in the world to have our new album." Johnny reached his hand into another bag of chips.

"Oh, that's awesome. Yeah, you are lucky." Joey was on his third beer bottle. Boy could that guy drink! I wondered how long it would be before he either passed out or threw up.

"Uh, Joey?"

"Yeah, darlin'."

"Um...you might wanna take it easy on those beers."

"Oh, I'm fine, I'm fine. I drink much more than this."

He did? Jesus..."Oh, okay. Well still. I mean I don't want you to puke, you know."

All of them suddenly laughed at me. "What?" I smiled. "Did I say something funny?"

"Joey drinks more than my fucking grandma on Christmas." Marky walked over to the sofa. "You don't understand. He drinks beer like its water."

I laughed. "Damn." I looked around the room. "Oh my god, you guys are such pigs! Look at this mess!"

The guys looked at each other and just shrugged. I scoffed and started picking things up.

"Where's the broom?"

Dee Dee pointed to a corner, where there was a broom (which looked very new and unused) sitting patiently. I picked it up and began sweeping. "How long have you guys been here? You guys, this place is horrendous."

"Sorry Angela, but we're men. We don't clean." Marky said and all of the boys laughed.

"Yeah, yeah yeah..." I put the broom back and walked over to the small table to clean it off. I threw all of the empty potato chip bags in the trash and swept of the crumbs with my hands. Then I got rid of the beer bottles and put them in the recycle. "There. All finished."

All of the guys looked at me in disbelief, and especially Johnny. I guess he didn't know I could really clean.

"Damn John, that's one fine woman ya got there," Dee Dee said. "Oh stop it Dee Dee, you're married." He shook his head vigorously.

I chuckled and blushed. Who knew that seeing a woman clean up a room would be such a turn-on to men?

"Yeah, back off, or I'll kill ya." Johnny got up from the chair and walked over to me, wrapping his arms around my waist again. "She's my lady." He kissed me in front of everyone.

"Alright alright, enough of this lovey dovey crap," Joey said. I guess seeing John and I make out was making him queasy. I could understand that. "We got stuff to do. So let's get to it."

"Oh yeah, we got songs to write. Dee Dee, you said you had some new stuff that we could do?" Johnny kissed my cheek and walked away. I sat in a sofa and just watched everyone. No wonder the Ramones made albums every year or two. They were always working! Always. I felt like everyday from now on was going to feel like an adventure, like something new was about to happen. I could feel it. What was better than hanging around your favorite rock and roll band and watching them at work on making more beautiful music? I sure couldn't think of anything else.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door, and everyone fell silent. Who could that be? Dee Dee walked over to the door and opened it. It was the mailman. Dee Dee thanked him and closed the door. "Let's see here...oh I got a letter from Vera!"

"Who's Vera?" I asked him curiously.

"Oh, she's my wife. She sent me something."

"Aww, that's really nice."

Dee Dee chuckled. "Yeah...okay uh, here Joey, this is from your brother Mickey."

Joey took the envelope from Dee Dee. "Thanks, man."

"Mark, it's your aunt again."

"Oh brother..." Marky chuckled and took his mail.

"Oh and John, this is for you. It's from your mom."

Johnny took his mail from Dee Dee wordlessly.

"John!" He turned to me. "Say 'thank you'."

"Thanks." He smiled.

I rolled my eyes. I was going to have to work with him on those manners of his. He opened up his letter. From the look on his face I knew that something was wrong. He was frowning more and more as he read it, and then...all of a sudden, he dropped the letter on the floor and put his face in his hands. "Oh no. Oh god, please no." I ran to his side at once. "Baby, what's wrong?" The rest of the guys talked all at once, wondering the same thing that I was.

"John? You alright man?"

"What happened?"

"John, what's up? Somethin' happen?"

Johnny regained his composure and left the room, slamming the door behind him. What in the world...what was going on that made him so upset? Joey picked up the letter from the floor and read it outloud:

Dear John,

I knew that I could have called you, but I knew you'd need time to react and I know that you don't like to let me see you when you get upset. There's something I must tell you sweetheart. Unfortunately, your dear father has died. He was on his way home last night from work and passed out from heart failure in the car. An ambulance was called and he was brought to the hospital. I was notified about fifteen minutes later and rushed to see him. But...when I got there, they said he was dead. I know that this is hard for you, but when you're ready, please give me a call and we can talk about it together, and we can arrange the funeral, you and I. I love you very much John, and please stay strong for me. I love you.

Your mother,

Estelle Cummings