Chapter 18

Trish and Matt arrived at Randy's a little after seven that night. Matt rang the doorbell as they waited outside. "Trish, you really look hot tonight! Do you realize how envious every man is going to be of me?" She giggled, "Matt, I'm not sure you realize how jealous I'm going to make every woman by being on your arm tonight!"

Finally the door opened with Randy and Sam standing in the entrance. "Trish! Matt! Welcome! Come on in!" Randy said, moving aside to allow room for Trish and Matt to enter.

"Oh yeah! It's your Number One Broski arriving with the Number One Hotski on my arm!" Matt pulled Randy into a one armed hug. Randy looked at Trish while in the hug and gave her an eye roll with a smirk. Trish couldn't help but chuckle to herself.

"Hi Trish, I'm Sam. It's nice to finally meet you." Sam pulled Trish into a hug that made Trish uncomfortable. It felt forced…as if Sam was trying to put on a show or get the attention on her, rather than Trish.

"Hi Sam, I've heard so much about you, it's nice to finally get to meet you too!" Trish returned a genuine smile, though it was obvious that Sam's smile was fake and plastered on her face.

"Cody and Ted are downstairs. No one else has arrived just yet, though Nick called for directions for the second time so they have to be near by now. Um, there are drinks downstairs at the bar, the food is in the kitchen, and you're welcome to go anywhere in the house, except for upstairs."

Sam grabbed Randy's hand as he was talking to Matt and Trish, making it known for Trish to back off. Obviously, she felt threatened by how much time Trish and Randy were spending with each other. Trish decided she had enough of the awkward moment, so she grabbed Matt's hand and pulled him. "Come on, let's go downstairs and find Cody and Ted. It was nice meeting you Sam."

By 8 PM, all of the guests had arrived and Randy and Sam were finally able to start mingling with all their friends. The house was packed with people, not to the point where it was a hassle to move, but enough to fill both the basement and the first floor. The basement quickly turned into a dance club, while the upstairs offered a more laid back atmosphere where people could casually converse with each other.

Trish broke away from everyone and headed upstairs to the kitchen for some much needed food. If she didn't eat something and soon, she was going to be a drunken mess. She walked into the kitchen and noticed Randy and John talking near the island. John noticed her within seconds and made a huge display that grabbed everyone's attention.

"Trish! Baby girl! You are looking FINE tonight! Come here and give me a hug!"

Trish blushed immediately, realizing all eyes in the kitchen were on her…including Sam and Liz's. She gave John a hug, "Damn John, did you really need to make such a scene?"

Randy smiled and chuckled lightly, any other woman would be eating up the attention, but not Trish. She was so modest about her looks it was almost ridiculous. She didn't see herself as this sexy, smoking hot female that every other man saw her as. That could possibly be his most favorite feature of Trish's. She's sexy without even striving to be.

John chuckled, "Hey, I'm advertising for you…I know you're single now and there are plenty of single men here…just bringing to their attention what they should already know!"

Trish's smile fell, "What do you mean now that I'm single? Who told you that?" John looked uncomfortably at Randy, "Well, Randy may have mentioned it to me…but it's all over the internet too."

Trish frowned, her heart rate beating faster. She had only told close friends and family about the divorce. She really didn't want the wrestling rumor mill finding out about it. "What do you mean it's all over the internet?"

John wasn't sure what to say. He didn't want to upset her worse than she already was, but it seemed as though the damage was done. "Someone posted a picture of you and Randy signing autographs outside of the arena this past week. And of course, your left hand is present and missing that rock you used to sport."

Trish thought back and exhaled deeply, "I can't believe anyone would even notice that! This is just fantastic!" She said, throwing her hands in the air. "This is exactly what I didn't want to happen!"

"Trish, calm down! It's going to be ok. So what if people know you're getting a divorce? Why would you want to give a false impression if it isn't true?" Randy asked, though he knew if the situation were reversed, he'd be pissed too.

Trish looked at the ground. Truth be told, she was more concerned with the reality of the situation. Yeah, she knew she was getting a divorce, but telling the world about it? Well, that meant she couldn't hide behind the fantasy anymore. And she wasn't sure she wanted to face everyone's questions and fake pity.

Liz and Sam watched Trish, John, and Randy talking from across the kitchen. "I really don't know how you do it Sam….I don't think I could trust John if he was as good as friends with her as Randy is."

Sam looked at Liz and then back at Trish, "You think I should be worried?"

Liz gave Sam a concerned look, "Oh no honey…Randy would never cheat on you. But come on, look at her! Let's just say, if I was a lesbian, I'd be all over her! I gotta give you credit…it goes to show how much you trust each other…especially now that she's single!"

Sam looked down at the ground, hesitant to respond, "Yeah, I guess you're right. I mean, I trust Randy…it's her I don't trust."

Trish wandered into the living room and sat down on a sofa. As she munched on a plate of appetizers, she began to partake in her favorite guilty pleasure…people watching. Randy soon joined her on the couch.

"So do you know all of these people here tonight?"

He smiled at her, "Most of them, yes. Though there are some friends of Sam's that I've never met. But, she's introduced me to everyone tonight." Suddenly, Randy's face grew confused, "Everyone except that guy."

Trish turned her attention to the dining room and saw the man Randy was referring to. He was standing in the corner of the room, looking out of place. He didn't appear to be with a group of people, and she thought it strange that he was here by himself. Trish chuckled, "He looks like you."

Randy gave her a crazy look, "No he doesn't…I'm way better looking than that guy!"

Trish shrugged, "Ok, then…he resembles you…a much smaller you."

Randy stood and nodded, "That's more like it! I'll be right back."

He made his way into the kitchen and over to where Sam was standing. "Hey, who is that guy over in the corner of the dining room?"

Sam peeked around the corner to get a better look. "Um, I can't remember his name."

Randy gave her an odd look, "So, who is he?"

"I actually think he came with Carla's group."

Carla was a friend of Sam's. She arrived with at least 10 people tonight, but Randy swore he was introduced to all of them. "Are you sure? I don't remember being introduced to him."

"Yes, Randy, I'm sure. I think his name is David, but I can't remember for sure. You've met a lot of people tonight that you don't know. It's almost impossible to remember everyone's face."

Randy sensed an annoyed tone in Sam's voice and decided to drop it. He walked away from her and went back into the living room.

"So what's the verdict?" Trish asked.

Randy sat back down and shrugged, keeping his eyes on the stranger, "Sam claims he came with a huge group of her friends. She said I was introduced to him but I don't remember him. She thinks his name is David."

The night wound down and in 30 minutes, the New Year would arrive. Everyone had made their way into the basement by this point. The music was bumping and everyone was dancing and having a great time.

Trish was surrounded on the dance floor by Matt, Cody, Nick, Brie, Stefanie, Eve, AJ and Ted. All nine of them were dancing machines and the envy of the party. As the minute mark hit, everyone stopped dancing and turned up the volume on the TV for the countdown.

Trish felt her heart sink as sadness suddenly overcame her. She realized this was her first New Years as a single woman. Every year since she was 15 years old, she spent New Years with Ron. Even when she was traveling with the WWE, he would fly out to whatever city she was in to spend the evening with her.

5…4…3…2…1…HAPPY NEW YEAR!

She embraced Matt in a hug, followed by Eve and AJ. As she looked around, her focus fell on couples exchanging kisses for the New Year. There, directly in front of her stood Nick and Brie, John and Liz stood further off to her right, and as she turned around, there stood Randy and Sam. She needed to get away from 'the land of happy couples' and fast. She needed some air…and she needed it now. She began weaving her way towards the sliding glass door. She was on the verge of a breakdown and needed to get out of the crowd to try and gather herself. She pulled open the door and inhaled deeply as the cold air rushed through her body. She closed the door behind her and made her way towards the end of the deck. She was relieved she made it outside unnoticed…or at least she thought unnoticed.

Randy had watched Trish escape out the backdoor. He knew something was bothering her and he had a good hunch as to what that was. Sam had wandered back upstairs so if he was going to slip away momentarily, this was his chance. He looked around the room, ensuring no one saw his exit.

As he closed the sliding glass door behind him, he saw her sitting on the retainer wall just at the end of the porch. Her back was to him and her arms wrapped around herself. He began making his way toward her. "It's a little chilly in St. Louis to be sitting outside without a coat on, you know."

As soon as she heard the door open, she knew it was Randy. She didn't acknowledge him at first; she just stared straight ahead, looking out into the back yard. As he made his way closer toward her, she sighed, "Do you ever wish you could go back and change one thing about your life? Just…one…moment. And if you could go back, would you? Is there a moment you would change?"

Randy sat down next to her on the wall and put his arm around her to keep her warm. "I already told you I'm not a big fan of regret." He could see the tears shimmering on her face in the moonlight.

She shook her head and turned her body to face him, "I'm not talking about regret. I don't regret the decisions I've made in my life. I am where I am for a reason. And I agree that you should learn from mistakes instead of regret them. So I'm not regretting them…I'm just questioning them. What if I would have ended things with Ron back when I first joined the WWE? Would that have changed the outcome of where I am today? Would it have made my life better?"

He shrugged and wiped some of the tears from her face, "Who knows. Maybe…I believe there are many people out there in the world for us. So, do I think you would've found someone else? Yes, with out a doubt. Do I think you're life could have been any better? Maybe…or maybe it would have turned out worse."

She rolled her eyes, "I'm not questioning if I would have found someone else. I'm questioning if I would be a different person than I am today. I feel like I missed out on so much because I was with Ron. You know? I mean, yeah, I went out and partied in the beginning, but I always had reservations about how out of hand I let myself get. I was always the mother hen of the group, watching out for everybody. I never really let my guard down."

Randy began rubbing her arms as he could feel her shaking from the cold. She started to cry as well, but he didn't say anything. To be honest, he didn't know what to say.

She continued, "And everyone always told me how independent I was…and how invigorating that was for other women to see. But when I think about it…I wasn't independent at all. Maybe from a financial standpoint I was, but from a mental standpoint? From a mental standpoint I wasn't whatsoever. I relied on Ron and my relationship with him more than I ever should have. So much so, that tonight, I feel like I'm walking around with only one leg to stand on…shame on me for letting myself turn into this type of person."

Randy pulled her into a hug. It was obvious Trish was going through various stages with her divorce. The first stage was questioning and regretting her relationship with Ron. The second stage was accepting it. The third, and most current stage, was questioning herself as an individual.

"I don't think you're giving yourself enough credit, Trish. If you think Ron was your 'other leg' as you so put it, then you would have left the WWE along time ago. You wouldn't have lasted ten years in the company...you would have drowned one year in. If you were so dependent upon him and your relationship, you would have left to be with him. You're stronger than you think…and you are an independent woman. Don't ever doubt that."

Randy then started to think more about the feelings he's been developing for Trish over the months. There were so many close calls that almost crossed the line. He realized that he's been lying to himself about everything. And the truth is the feelings aren't going away. If anything, they grow stronger every day he's with her and maybe it was a good time to finally talk about them. Maybe he'd be able to figure things out in his mind, if he knew how she felt.

He started to think more about the question she had asked him and realized that there was a moment he wished he could change. He pulled out of the hug and wiped another set of tears from her eyes. "To answer your question, yes…there is something I would change." He looked down, unsure if he should be confessing these feelings to her. He realized this could possibly open a huge can of worms. "I would change the moment I decided to be such an asshole playboy…"

She looked into his eyes and couldn't tell if he was joking or being serious. But she waited for him to continue. "If I could take back that moment, then maybe you would have wanted to get to know me better back then…and then we wouldn't be…"

"Randy, there you are! Sam's looking for you, bro!"

Both of them jumped and swallowed hard as John approached them.

"Trish, are you alright? Look, I'm sorry about mentioning the internet posting tonight."

Trish shook her head, "No John, it's alright. I'm just going through the motions of being divorced. Some nights are harder than others." She stood up and cleared her throat, glancing at Randy, "Thanks for the talk." She quickly walked back inside, all the while cursing the intrusion by John. Then we wouldn't be what? Wouldn't be in this awkward situation? Wouldn't be just friends? Fuck John! Just 10 more seconds! That was all I needed!

John looked at Randy, "Ok, NOW tell me nothing is going on between the two of you!"

Randy stood up and started pacing, "Nothing is going on between us! I just…"

"You just what?"

Randy stopped pacing and stared at John for a few minutes, completely speechless.

"Jesus Christ Randy! You just what?"

Randy looked John straight in the eyes, "I don't know…I don't know what this is! I'm so confused! I love Sam…I'm in love with Sam. It's just…we've been fighting so much lately, and she's been so fucking weird with certain things. And things just click with Trish. I'm so attracted to her and I feel like when we talk it's on a completely different level than when me and Sam talk."

John exhaled and shook his head. "You're treading on thin ice man! What the fuck is your problem? First off, you have a little girl to think about! Secondly, Sam deserves better than this! And lastly, Trish is going through a divorce! She's hurt and confused and she needs to find herself again! Flirting with her is not going to help her! It's just going to confuse her even more!"

Randy's face twisted in anger, "Flirting? That's what you think I'm doing? You know what John? Fuck you!" He began pacing again, this time more fervently than before. He finally stopped and turned to face John. "John, we've been friends for a long time now. You've seen me at my best and you've definitely seen me at my worst…do you honestly think that I'm simply flirting with Trish? I'm fucking telling you! I've never connected with anyone like this before!"

"So you're saying you're more connected with Trish than you are your own wife?"

"Yes! That is why I'm so fucking confused! I shouldn't have been able to do that and I have!"

John shot Randy a sympathetic look and shook his head, "Shit Randy, I'm not one to tell you what to do…it's your life. But, I know you…and I know Trish…and I also know Sam. I think you need to put some distance between you and Trish…you need to think long and hard about the consequences of your possible actions before you make any decisions...because you won't be able to take any of it back."