Love Struck

Chapter 41 - I'm Bad

Shadow's POV 8:00am

I woke up early from a short night sleep, but that's just the problem; I couldn't sleep what so ever last night. I felt as if I did something to make me feel guilty. I don't know what it was but I feel like shit at the moment.

The sun was hot and the people were out and helping repair the city from the battle last night.

That's the one thing I like about Afghanistan. The people are willing to do anything they can to help prove they deserve a chance.

I was resting myself along the edge of the roof of the capital. I was getting a tan at the most. It has to be at least ninety eight degrees out. I was hurt though. Last night really screwed me up. Even though that special forces team is dead I still feel the pain of what it took to survive. My body ached and my head hurt. The stitches that held me together were going to break soon. I shouldn't have fought those men last night.

"Ahhhhhh…" I breath slowly.

The air felt nice at the least. I felt sort of free now that everything is over with but I still have a lot on my mind.

Like for starters; who the hell is the mole in the rebellion? It couldn't have been Nexus or Ghost, Archer, or Jason they have all fought for the same reason I am. To save this country, and Amy was the target…again. Someone wants her dead but I just can't place it. Logan needs to find this out and fast; and that's a much better question. Where the hell was Logan during all that last night? I saw him once when I was leaving his room and then that was it. He couldn't have fell asleep. I don't care about him right now though. I'm just glad he's still alive. Without him this would all be for nothing. I know he got my note last night and it's hard to do what I wanted originally when I wrote that. I don't know. Part of me wants to stay but the other is saying get the hell away from here. The thought of quitting this far in is killing my mind. But if I go I can live a normal life again before I first signed up. G.U.N thinks I'm dead and if I return to the states I can keep it that way, change my name and everything it would be a snap, but my brother would still be out there and believing the lie that I'm gone forever. He's fighting for something that doesn't exist. He's fighting for me and I can't wait to see him. I miss him and his purple eyes. Dove reminds me of him except I don't want to kill her. Dark…he will get what he deserves for leaving me to die. I'll be the one to make sure of that and when I find him no one will stop me. As for the good side of my life right now; I guess it's good that Ghost is alive but I'm still a little PO at him form before. Don't get me wrong I'm happy he's alive because now he has Dove to watch out for. If I was him I wouldn't let her slip from my grip. Dove is perfect for him now that I think about it but I never would have thought they would have gotten this close to each other in such a short time frame. I wish them the best of luck but right now I don't wish to be a part of it. I'm not in the mood for love. I mean Amy may think I'm ok, but inside I'm hurting and not because of the cuts; it's all because of what she said. She told me to leave her alone and never see her again. That broke my heart even now and I'm kind of mad that she went against it to approach me afterwards. I understand I was hard and mean, but I was just scared. I watched as she kissed Logan in front me. What was I suppose to believe? Logan's a great guy don't get me wrong but I just need to be sure nothing happened between them after I left. If it's true then maybe I will reconsider my anger. Until then though I can only wait to see what happens next. Maybe I will live, maybe I will die. Who knows for sure? All I can do is fight the inevitable till I can't move my soul any longer. It will happen to me, to Ghost, to everyone. I will die there's no fighting it, but maybe I can live long enough to make all the bad things I have done in life go away forever.

I slowly began to cry letting my tears roll onto my pants.

Maria would hate me. I was meant along with Dark to help everyone, but all I have done is hurt and kill. I'm a disgrace no matter what anyone thinks. Maria has the right to hate me for what I have done and what I'm going to do later. When I kill Dark my life will be set on the fast track to hell. His death and my revenge will collide and Dark will win. My soul will die along with his and I'll be nothing but someone who murdered his only brother. My life will be over but at the least I can try my best to enjoy what I have left.

"Lieutenant?" I heard someone say from behind me cautiously.

I slowly turned my dirty head towards the unknown person.

I turned to find the leader of Zulu 2-7 standing by the door.

I stared at him and he was caught off guard by my silence.

"Are you ok?" He asked.

"I'm fine." I replied while looking back at the city.

The man slowly shut the door and approached me from behind.

"Do you mind if I have a look?" He asked.

"No." I replied.

The man slowly got on his knees and began to move my arm aside to get a look on my injuries.

"You need new stitches." He stated as he ran his fingers against my side.

I flinched in pain as he accidentally ripped open one of the stitches.

"Shit! I'm so sorry lieutenant!" He apologized.

Blood came but I already lost enough to last me a life time.

I slowly held my side.

"It's ok, don't worry about it." I said calmly as I held my pain in.

The man softly took my arm.

"Come on, lets get you patched up properly." He said as I slowly got on my feet.

I didn't go against him so I slowly followed as he dragged my leg.

"Aghhhh!" I shouted as my leg ripped open.

The man panicked and we quickly limped down the stairs as my blood ran across the floor.

As I ran in his arms we limped towards Zulu 2-7 who still watched me as if in shock.

Their leader dragged me passed them while his medic's followed behind slowly.

We entered into the medical wing of the base and I was rushed into the nearest emergency room.

The man let me go and I rested myself on the table.

I didn't want to lay back it hurt too bad and I was afraid of breaking the last set of stitches on my back.

The doctor and medics came in behind us and they gathered around as the doctor looked at my body.

"I was hoping I wouldn't have had to see you again so soon." Stated the doctor as he got his tools ready.

I didn't respond.

The doctor went to my side and ordered the medics to hold my leg.

The medics held the blood in as the doctor began to stitch.

"How do you feel?" He asked me.

Like shit. I replied.

"I can imagine." He stated.

I looked at him as he almost was done with my side.

"You went through surgery and that whole war going on in the streets. After the sergeant major here informed me of what you went through I sent him along to find you. I was worried you would be dead if not given proper treatment." Stated the doctor.

I slowly looked at the leader of Zulu 2-7 who had his eyes locked on me.

"Names Jake." He stated as he offered me his hand.

The doctor pulled on the last stitch then moved to my leg.

The medics went to my back and began to get it ready for the doctor.

I slowly took his hand and shook.

"Shadow." I replied.

Jake released my hand and remained silent as the doctor continued.

"Your lucky that's for sure." He stated as he finished my leg.

"I'm tough to kill." I stated.

The doctor gave me a small smile then went to my back.

The medics undid the old stitches and then he began to replace them.

"You don't look too well." Stated the doctor.

I slowly looked at Jake and replied.

"You would be too if you went through all I had to deal with to make it this far."

"Was it worth it?" Asked Jake.

"I don't know yet." I replied.

Jake nodded his head as the door opened.

Everyone looked up as Amy and Ghost came walking in. Well Amy walked in and Ghost limped.

She stopped once she saw all the blood on the table.

"Shadow are you ok?!" She asked in shock.

I nodded in approval as Ghost stared at me softly.

The doctor pulled on the last stitch and then slowly got up and went in front of me.

"Those will take time to heal Shadow, I recommend you get some sleep." He stated.

"I will." I replied.

After I was done with; the doctor looked at Ghost.

"Are you ok Ghost?" He asked.

Ghost took his eyes off me and looked at him in confusion.

"What…!" He was cut off as the doctor took him by the shoulder and started to guide him towards the table next to me.

"Just relax, I already see the problem." Stated the doctor.

Ghost relaxed and sat down next to me.

The doctor slowly got out his bodily fluid clean up kit. Ghost had major cuts on his face and body.

The doctor slowly wiped him up and when he saw his back he looked at him in shock.

"Damn!" He shouted.

Ghost chuckled a little.

"What!?" Asked Amy in fear.

"Are you sure Ghost? That bullet hole must hurt." Stated the doctor.

"It does but I think it will heal up." Replied Ghost.

"When did you get stitched?" He asked.

"The men who attacked us did it. They took out the bullet I think as well." Replied Ghost.

The doctor stood back up and said.

"I'm going to take a look anyway. The stitches can stay considering whoever did them was definably an experienced medic. But I'm taking an x-ray just to be sure he got it all."

Ghost agreed and the Doctor quickly took some photos of him.

"I'll be back in a few minutes. Just relax until then." Stated the doctor.

We both nodded as he shut the door.

Ghost slowly looked at me as I was staring at the floor.

I felt his touch on my leg and I immediately looked into his eyes.

"Thanks." He said with a smile.

"For what?" I asked.

"You could have left me and still you came to save us. Why?" Asked Ghost.

"Nice to know you think I would have left you behind." I replied.

"You know what I mean." Stated Ghost.

I smiled and replied.

"I just didn't want anyone else dieing after what happened to Nexus."

Amy and Ghost stared at me in shock.

"What happened to Nexus?!" Asked Ghost.

I hesitated.

As soon as I found my tongue I looked at Ghost and finished my sentence.

"He was crushed by the ceiling when the mortars hit."

Ghost and Amy looked at me in shock.

"He died in front of me. I couldn't help him at all." I stated.

I slowly took his hand off me and stood up with Jake taking my arm.

"Shadow I didn't…!" I cut him off.

"Please Ghost, just give me some time. I don't want to talk about this right now."

Ghost went silent as Amy took his place.

"Then when?" Asked Amy.

I looked at her and replied.

"I'll let you know."

Jake slowly escorted me out of the room leaving Amy and Ghost alone.