Chapter 3
"She's doing research," Draco lamented as he flopped down on the sofa in Blaise's home office. "What is there to research? Have sex, get pregnant, raise baby, ship off to Hogwarts at age 11. What could she possibly need to know beyond that?"

Blaise chuckled at his naive friend. "Oh what you don't know about child rearing," he replied, shaking his head.

"I know not to call it child rearing," Draco muttered.

"Mate, no one knows Hermione better than you," Blaise told him. "She's wanted to be a mum for a long time, and now she's getting the chance. We both know that when she's excited about something she starts researching. Parenthood isn't really something you can learn from a book, but it eases her mind to be prepared."

Draco nodded, knowing he was right. Sighing, he placed a throw pillow over his face before removing it to sit up. "Here's the thing - I'm not allowed to touch her until she's completed this research," he shared. "She keeps talking about being at our peaks and not letting anything go to waste. She's obsessive, I tell you."

"And she's doing you a favor," Blaise pointed out. "Let her have her research."

"Is it wrong that this whole idea terrifies me?" Draco asked.

Blaise flashed him a sympathetic smile. "I remember when Pansy was pregnant," he shared. "I don't think I slept from the time she told me until the twins were at least a year old. At first, it was the fear that I couldn't be there for them. Her parents were in the process of drawing up her marriage contract, and all I could think was that some other man was going to get to raise my children. Then when my contract was dissolved, I worried that I wouldn't know how to be a good father. I never really had one, so there was no one I could turn to for advice. But then they're born, and something just clicked. I can honestly say I would lay down my life for my family."

Draco swallowed nervously. "What if I never feel that way?" he wondered, feeling his heart begin to pound painfully.

His friend sat forward, resting his arms on his desk. "Can I ask you something?" Draco nodded. "Do you really want to have this baby? Or are you just going along with it because it's what Hermione wants?"

"I don't know," he admitted. "I have to go."

Before Blaise could stop him, Draco crossed the room to the fireplace and stepped in, calling out for home. He arrived back at his flat to find Hermione seated on the floor amidst a pile of books strewn about. As he approached, he noticed that she had tears in her eyes. He sat down across from her and took her hands. "Hermione?" he asked worriedly.

She looked up and sobbed. "What if I can't have a baby?" she asked.

"What?" he asked. "Why would you even think that?"

She sniffled and pulled one hand away from his to reach for a book. "I was at St. Mungo's today doing a bit of research," she told him, passing the tome to him.. "And I came across this. It says that repeated exposure to the Cruciatus Curse can severely affect a woman's chances of conceiving. What if...what if-"

"Don't think about that," he said, pushing away the books. He took her hand again and held it tight. "Sometimes all this reading isn't good for you. You know I love you and your diligence to knowing everything there is to know, but when it starts to upset you, I have to put my foot down. It's not healthy for you to obsess like this. We'll make an appointment with a healer. Let them tell us if something's wrong. Deal?"

"But what if I can't get pregnant?" she asked.

Draco sighed. "We'll cross that bridge when we get to it," he decided. "But I promise you - we will find a way to have this baby. I don't care what it takes."

Leaning forward, she pressed her lips to his. "I love you, Draco," she murmured.

"I'm holding you to that. There will come a day when you don't quite love me as much as you do now," he cautioned.

She frowned. "Why would I stop loving you?" she wondered.

He shrugged. "Blaise said that when Pansy was in labor, she told him that she hated him and he was never allowed to touch her again," he shared. "I don't know. I just assumed all women would be that way."

"Maybe in the moment," she conceded. "But you've seen them. I've never seen a couple who loves each other as much as Blaise and Pansy do. And if you hadn't noticed, all he does is touch her when they're in the same room."

"You smacked me upside the head the last time we were at dinner and I put my hand on your leg," he reminded her.

Hermione snorted. "You put your hand under my skirt," she pointed out.

"There were crumbs," he excused. "You can be a very messy eater sometimes."

She quirked an eyebrow. "Under my skirt?" she inquired.

Draco shrugged and took her hand to pull her closer. "Don't ask me to figure you out," he teased.

She sat down on his lap and turned her head to face him. "Is it okay that I'm scared?" she asked.

"Of course it is," he replied with a warm smile. "I'm scared too. Look at who raised me. I worry that I'm gonna be exactly like my father. I don't want our kids to fear me the way I feared Lucius. He had no patience for me and would never hesitate to hit me."

"I don't think you have anything to worry about," she murmured, kissing his forehead. "You're nothing like your father. He's cold and mean, and sure, there was a time when I thought you were horrible. But you've changed so much. And I've seen you with Isa and Vincent. You're so patient with them even when I can see that they're driving you crazy."

He shrugged. "I love those kids," he replied. "It doesn't bother me."

"And I have no doubt in my mind that you'd be the same way with ours," she stated.

There were still lingering doubts and fears in his mind though, despite her words of reassurance. Could he really be a father? Despite his growth in recent years, there was still a small strain of selfishness in him. He liked their quiet flat. He liked sleeping late when he could. Having a baby in the house would change everything.

He just hoped it would be for the best.