Chapter Thirty

The cold, biting wind blew through my hair as I walked to the place Joey wanted to meet me. I still didn't understand why he and I couldn't just hang out in the daytime. For some reason it just had to be now. I was seriously hoping that Johnny wouldn't wake up for anything. He had his nights where he could sleep and not hear anything, but then there were nights when he'd get up at the slightest sound. If tonight was that kind of night, I was fucked when I got home. Because he'd be there waiting, and very upset. Johnny could become your worst night mare when he was upset, which is why I tried not to aggravate him as much as possible. I liked it when he smiled more. He had a beautiful smile.

I arrived at the meeting spot and waited. What was I doing? I was supposed to be at home still reading, like a good girl. But instead, I was outside in the middle of the night waiting for Joey and only god knew what would happen after that. That's when I suddenly felt a pair of hands on me and I flinched. When I turned around to see who owned those hands, I relaxed a little. "Joey, don't do that please. You scared me."

Joey, tall and a little awkward in the moonlight, stood there chuckling. "Sorry."

We started walking now. We were heading towards the bridge. "So, since you have me hostage, what do you wanna do?"

"I wouldn't think of it as being held hostage, I uh..." He tapped his chin with his fingers. "I'd like to think of it more as a rescue."

I laughed. "A rescue from what?"

"From your house, of course. And from Johnny."

"Why would I wanna get away from Johnny?" I knew where this was leading. But still, I played it cool. I wanted Joey to think that I didn't know what was going on. But I knew everything. Oh boy did I know.

"Dontcha ever get sick of 'im? I mean, I know you love him but don't you like to have your space?" Joey put his huge hands in his jacket pockets.

I smiled. "Of course I do. That's why I'm staying here while you guys go on tour. I know you guys can have people come with you on this one, but I'm gonna stay here. Visit Dee Dee in the hospital and keep him company. Get to know New York a little more, you know? It's such a magnificent city, I'd like to know more about it."

"New York has its downsides too, but I guess its alright."

"It cant be as bad as Baltimore. There wasn't anything special about it. Same people, same stores, just...everything was the same. After a while you get sick of it." I breathed in the cold air and exhaled. "But here...there's all kinds of people here! Different places to go to. It's nice to see something like this for a change."

Joey laughed his hearty laugh that I adored so much. That I adored a little too much in that moment. Every time he did that my heart would skip a little beat. I felt so bad about it...what was wrong with me? "Try livin' here your whole life. You'd say the same exact thing. But I guess everyone's experiences are different. I've lived here my whole life, but I guess I still love it. It's home. I'm content here, ya know?"

"Yeah, I know what you mean."

We walked up to the bridge, looking out at the city lights in the night. It was beautiful. All of it was such a great sight to see. I felt Joey put his arm around me, and for a while we didn't say anything. Just observed everything around us. But I was afraid. I knew that Joey was a little shy, but he wasn't that shy. He knew what he was doing. I still think that in his mind he thought I was clueless. I had to keep it that way. If Joey knew that I was as smart as I was when it came to this whole situation, it would make everything more complicated.

"Hey Angela, uh...I gotta tell you something."

Shit. Here it comes. "Yeah, Joey?"

"Well...I mean, ya know you're one of my best friends, right?"

"Yes. You're one of mine too."

"Well...I don't really know how to say this but...Angela..."

I was shaking. I all of a sudden really wished I was still at home with my book along with my boyfriend. I didn't want to be here anymore. I wanted Joey and I to joke around like the way we used to, not do this. This was unfamiliar territory. I didn't want him to tell me what he was about to tell me. Because I knew exactly what he was going to say. And I didn't want to know. I didn't want to.

"Angela...I think I'm fallin' in love with you."

"Joey, I-"

"Now listen, I know you're with Johnny. I'm not gonna tell ya to leave him. I know you love him, and I respect that. But..." He looked off into the distance for a couple of seconds, then looked back at me. "I just wanted to tell you how I felt. I don't like keeping stuff inside, it drives me crazy. I just wanted you to know that even though we'll never be together, I'll always be there for you. Whenever you and John have a fallout, I'll be there to keep ya company."

My emotions changed now. I was calmer. "Joey..."

"I just wanted you to know that. And that because of you, you've helped me get over Linda. I was really hurt by what she and Johnny did to me. But...I don't know darlin', you got a special power or somethin'. Somehow I feel like you're the one who even made John and me being friends possible."

I chuckled, a little more comfortable. "No, that was all John. He felt bad about what happened and wanted to talk to you. Well...actually, I had to give him a couple of pep talks about it first before he warmed up to the idea. But I think he really did feel bad and wanted you and him to have a little talk."

"Well, see? That's what I mean. You're amazing, Angela. You really are. In more ways than one."

I could feel my face getting a little hot. "Thanks, Joey. I'm not all that great, but thank you. That means a lot to me."

He smiled at me and took off his sunglasses, just like in my dream. It was then that I realized he was wearing them at night. Joey was literally the only person I knew who did that. He was unique, indeed. "Listen, uh...don't tell John about this, alright?"

"No, no of course not. This stays between us." I smiled, when I noticed his facial expression changed. Joey's beautiful brown eyes were now stuck on mine. And they weren't moving. "What's the matter?"

He bit his lower lip. "Don't tell 'im about this either." Then, Joey put his long fingers on my shoulders, leaned down to my level and laid his mouth on mine. I didn't even push him away, it felt way too good. His lips weren't as good as Johnny's, but I liked the feel of it anyway. It was sweet. He gave me small little pecks on my lips, then leaned in again and really kissed me this time. I wrapped my arms around his neck, feeling the ends of his wavy black hair on my wrists.

I think the reason why I didn't mind kissing Joey was because for one, he wasn't forceful about it, and also because he and I would still remain friends. Somehow I knew that things wouldn't change between us just because of this. Our friendship was too strong for that. But I was glad he told me how he felt. I think when he said he loved me, he meant it. And he loved me so much that he'd always be a good friend to me. Always there for me no matter what. I would say that Joey was my friend with benefits, but even that was too shallow of an explanation for what we were to eachother.

Joey could never make me feel the way Johnny did, because Johnny was my heart and soul. He was my everything. But I couldn't live my life without Joey, either. I needed him. He was kind of my other half too. He made me complete too. Joey was like the male version of Mayra to me.

"I..." He kissed me once more before I spoke again. "I should be getting back. I'm gonna need all the energy I can get, so I should head back and get some sleep."

"Okay," Joey said just above a whisper. "I'll see ya later. I'm glad we had this talk."

"Me too." I smiled and squeezed his hand, then let go. We said our goodbyes and I hurried back home to Johnny. It didn't take me that long because I sort of ran all the way there. But when I was right in front of my house, I felt relieved again. I opened the door, and all my happiness faded and was now replaced with utter fear. Johnny was awake and sitting on the sofa.

"Angie, I was worried sick! Where were you?"

"I...uh, just wanted to go for a walk." I shut the door and put my jacket away.

Johnny sighed. "Do you know how dangerous it is at night? Especially here? This isnt Maryland, you know."

"I know, I know." I walked up to him and kissed his nose, feeling happy to be back home with him. As much of a good time as I had with Joey, I was glad to finally be home. "I wont do it again, I'm sorry. I was just really curious about the city at night!"

"Well, alright. We can go for a proper walk in the daylight. You should be in bed with me right now."

"I actually am kind of tired now. Lets go to bed. How come you were up anyways?"

"I was thirsty, and I needed to pee." He chuckled.

"Ah, I see."

So Johnny and I walked upstairs together. I got ready for bed while he waited patiently in the room for me. And when we snuggled, it was the best feeling in the world. I didn't think I'd have any weird dreams tonight...but I just hoped we'd be able to get through tomorrow alright. It was going to be a rough day for Johnny, and he needed all the support he could get from me.

Finally, my eyelids closed shut and I drifted off...