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Chapter Thirty-Two

While Johnny was sleeping I made myself a sandwich and walked over to the phone to dial Mayra's number. It was a couple of rings before she picked up.

"Hello?"

"May? It's me!"

"Angela, girl why haven't you called me! You were supposed to call me like a week ago."

"I'm sorry, I've had a lot going on over here." I took a bite of my sandwich. "I actually haven't even called my mom yet."

"You should do it soon. She's probably worried about you. Well anyway, how's John?"

"He's..." I hesitated before answering her. "He's okay."

"Just okay? Is he alright?"

"To be honest, not really. See the thing is, his dad died last weekend and he's just been going through a lot since then."

"Oh my god...poor thing."

"Yeah, he's been taking it really hard. The funeral was actually today. We got home at about uh..." I looked over at the clock on the wall. "About a half hour ago."

"I see. Where is he now? Is he out?"

"No um, he's actually asleep upstairs. He's not really feeling well."

"Yeah I can imagine. Well give him a kiss on the cheek for me okay?"

"I will." I smiled through the phone. "The rest of the guys are pretty good though, well except Dee Dee."

"Oh no, what happened to him?"

"He...got shot by his drug dealer. He's alive, but he's recovering in the hospital."

"Oh my. I sure cant tell Ann that. She'll lose her mind."

"No. No, don't tell her. Oh um, May...I should tell you something else too."

"What?"

"I..." I had to tell Mayra about what happened between me and Joey. She was my best friend and I told her everything. "Last night after John went to bed, Joey called me and asked me if I wanted to hang out with him."

She gasped. "What? Really?"

"Yeah, and at first I didn't want to, but I figured since John wasn't even awake and I was kind of bored, I might as well go hang out with Joey for a while. So I did."

Mayra squealed over the phone. "Oh my god, and then what?"

"Well we talked for a little while and...May would you believe this, he told me he was in LOVE with me!"

Dead silence on the other line, and then..."What?"

"Yeah can you believe that? I expected him to say something like that because of what happened at this party we went to...I'll tell you about that at another time. But anyways, I was still really shocked when he said that. I didn't know what to do, May. And then, he kissed me!"

I didn't hear anything.

"Mayra? Are you still there?"

A couple of seconds more of silence, then she spoke again. "Um...that's cool."

I frowned. "You alright? What's wrong?"

"Nothing, it's just...nothing."

"May, come on tell me what's bugging you-"

"I said nothing!" We were both quiet for a couple of seconds and then she said she had to go.

"But I just got on the phone with you."

"I have to go to the store to get groceries. I'll talk to you later. Bye." The other line disconnected. Just like that. I was going to wonder what was Mayra's problem when I realized the issue...she was in love with Joey. I mean, I always knew that she had a crush on him, but even then, when we both got into the Ramones she claimed Joey as being her "man", even if he really wasn't. Wow, I was such an idiot. Why did I tell her that! I know she was my best friend, but I should've kept my mouth shut. Now I was going to have to figure out a way for her not to continue hating me for the rest of my life.

I couldn't think about that now, though. I had to focus on making Johnny feel better before he and the rest of the band had to go on tour. I was walking to the kitchen to fix myself lunch when I heard the phone ring again. Exasperated, I walked back over to it and picked it up. "Hello?"

"Oh good, it's you." The voice sounded like Kat's. "This is you, right, Angela?"

"Um...yeah. Is this Kat?"

"Yeah. Listen, are you busy?"

My stomach growled right before I spoke. "Kinda. Why?"

"Well, me and the girls wanted to come over for a while and maybe hang out."

I sighed. "Kat I wish I could, but John's sick and I'm taking care of him. He's upstairs sleeping right now, and you guys might wake him up."

"Oh, we'll be quiet, we promise. Come ON hon, ya gotta live a little. Look, we'll be over in thirty minutes, alright?"

"But-" Before I could finish my sentence, she was already gone. I couldn't let them come over! If Johnny woke up, he definitely wouldn't be in a good mood. I wanted to make sure everything was as silent as possible. He needed to rest, if there was ever gonna be any progress of him feeling better by Monday. I walked into the kitchen, finally being able to make myself a sandwich. At least I wouldn't be hungry before everyone arrived.

After about twenty minutes, I did the dishes and waited for everyones arrival. The doorbell was always really loud, so I'd have to look out the window to make sure they already saw me open the door before they can ring it.

My thoughts went back to Joey...the way he kissed me last night...man! I thought that after that little talk we had this little crush would go away. So why wasn't it? I could see his long black hair in my thoughts. His sweet brown eyes, his adorable smile. I wanted to talk to him again. It would be better than having Kat and all the other girls come over. I really didn't want company right now. All I wanted was to see Joey again. I wanted to see his smile, hear his laugh...feel his hands on mine...oh my god, what was I doing?

I saw Kat and the rest of the girls walk up to the house, so I quickly opened the door. "Hey guys. John's sleeping, so you really need to be quiet."

"Sure thing, babe." Kat kissed my cheek and tiptoed into the house, along with all the others. Maybe I did need to some time to hang out with other people. I haven't really had a girls day since I was in Maryland with Mayra Ann and Jessica. It's nice to be able to do that again, even though I wish they were here. Especially Mayra. She would love it here in New York.

"So, hows John keeping up?" Rosy asked.

"Well he's asleep right now. I'm gonna go check on him in a little bit."

"Poor guy," Josephina said. "Its not easy losing someone you love."

"He's really been taking it hard. I don't know what else to do...I feel like I've done all I can."

"Angela..." Kat sat on the couch. "The truth is, this is something that he's gonna have to deal with himself. I know you wanna try to help, but with something like this, theres very little that you can do."

"But I just hate to see him in this kind of pain! It breaks my heart. John is already moody enough as it is. This will do nothing but make it worse. I just wanna see him smile more. That's all I ever wanted..." I sighed heavily. "He needs to just be more happy."

Rosy played with her hair. "Oh I agree. John gets too angry all the time. Maybe you guys should have more sex."

I chuckled at that and the rest of them followed. "Oh stop it, I'm sure that's not it."

"Hon, it probably is. Sex calms men down. It relaxes them. And it relaxes women too," Kat said.

I was turning a little red. "I cant believe I'm talking about this with you guys."

"Well, its the truth! When was the last time you both did it?"

Come to think of it now, it really has been a while since Johnny and I made love. "Um...wow I actually don't know. It was before I moved here actually. So yeah, its been at least two weeks."

Kat laughed. "Oh yeah. You both are definitely due for a bedroom appointment."

The girls stayed over for about an hour, and then they left. I had to admit, it was actually kind of nice having them over. I thought they'd be nothing but annoying and loud. After they left, I went upstairs to check on Johnny. He was still sleeping, now on his side. I placed the back of my hand on his forehead. Good, no fever. He was normal temperature.

I sat down on the bed beside him and just watched him. He was definitely out cold. At this rate, he just had to get better. By Monday morning when he left to go on tour with Joey, Marky and Kat, he'd be 100% better. Well, maybe 98%. I guess it all depends.

Suddenly he began to stir. He moved around for a little bit and then slowly opened his eyes.

"Hi honey." I touched his hand and he looked up at me. "How's your stomach?"

"It feels really empty. I feel...worn out."

"Well that's what usually happens after you vomit that much. Do you feel like you wanna eat something?"

He sighed and nodded sleepily. "Okay."

I leaned forward and kissed his forehead sweetly and smiled before going downstairs to make him some soup. It actually wasn't soup, more like a broth. He needed something extremely light in his stomach right now, or else he'd probably throw up again. It only took me about fifteen minutes to make it, and I was careful bringing it upstairs. "Here, I made you this." I set the bowl down on the nightstand and held on to Johnny. "Try to sit up a little, okay?"

He did. Then he just looked at me.

"What's wrong? You okay?"

"I'm fine. I just have an amazing woman, that's all."

I didn't know what to say to that, so I just smiled and looked down.

"You're a good person, Angie. You really are. I don't deserve you, ya know. I treat you really bad sometimes, and I know you feel it."

"Yes you do deserve me, baby. I love you. I mean yes, you can probably work on that temper of yours a little bit, but...I fell in love with you for a reason. And it's that I know that you're a good guy on the inside. In fact, I've seen it more than once. I see it all the time, actually." I grabbed the bowl and lifted the spoon in it. "I don't know why you always have this wall around you John. Its like you never wanna let anyone in."

"I let you in."

"I know, and I'm really glad. But there's nothing wrong with being nice to others. You don't get anything out of being mean, you know. It just makes you feel more miserable about yourself."

He looked away. "I know..."

"You and Joey are good friends now. And why? Because you took your ego completely out of it, and you apologized." Of course saying Joey's name made me start thinking of him again. I really didn't wanna be like Johnny's ex-girlfriend Linda. But if this keeps up, that's exactly where I was headed. I refused to be like that whore. I loved Johnny and I didn't wanna hurt him. There really needed to be a way to handle this whole thing with Joey. I thought everything was resolved last night, but all that brought up was more feelings.

As I watched Johnny drink his soup, that was all I could think of. Little flashbacks of Joey would just pop into my head. I couldn't control it. Fuck...

Joey, you shouldn't have kissed me like that.