Chapter 6

"We're doomed." Hiccup admitted the next day.

Both he and Kristoff were in their anatomy class and sitting at their lab table. Two limp frogs laid on their backs in front of them on plastic trays.

"Tell me about it, who's idea was it to have lunch before biology?" Kristoff said and gulped at his science project.

"Forget about the frogs! Out of fifty single guys not one of them wants to date the Ice Witch. Looks like we gotta go outside the box. What's the nearest juvie center around here again?" Hiccup asked as he slipped on a pair of gloves.

"We're not going to a juvie center."

"Then what's Plan B Romeo?" Hiccup snapped. "I'll love to hear it!"

Kristoff sighed and looked around the lab. Other students were dissecting and too busy to notice him. The Beautifuls and Pocahontas were refusing to touch the experiment, let alone dissect it. Others like the class geniuses Milo, Jane, and Tiana were dissecting away and halfway done. When Kristoff turned the other way though, he noticed Jack working alongside Pitch Black at the table next to theirs.

And from the looks of it – they were doing the complete opposite of dissecting. At the moment Jack was holding a can of freeze spray and spraying the frog's thighs and groin frozen solid.

Kristoff swallowed down his lunch and tapped Hiccup on the shoulder. "I found him."

Hiccup turned and followed Kristoff's gaze. His face turned as white as the poor frog's testicles. Pitch cackled and handed Jack the cutting knife, who took it and began carving away.

"Please tell me you're joking. Him? No no no. Don't even think about it. Don't even look at him. Do you not see who he's with? And did you forget that he almost dented your balls from yesterday?" Hiccup whispered.

"Don't remind me…I'm still recovering."

"They're both criminals. Last December that guy built a snowman that looked exactly like his least favorite teacher and set it on fire right in front of her house. And that's not all….he was just released from The Big House after serving it for five months for multiple accounts of vandalism…all with his freezing spray. My dad's the sheriff, he can give you all of Jack's records." Hiccup explained.

"Yeah, well then at least he's not boring." Kristoff murmured as he prepared to finally peel away at his frog.

"I'm serious, do you think he even has a liver? I heard he once gave it away so he can buy his monster truck. Oh and did I mention that he used that monster truck to race across a frozen pond once? He barely made it out alive! I think he posted a video on YouTube." Hiccup squeaked.

They turned back just as Jack lit himself a cigarette with the Bunsen burner. Scowling, Pitch grabbed the cigarette and Jack rolled his eyes and started freeze spraying the chain bracelets on his wrists while Pitch worked on butchering their experiment.

"He's the one." Kristoff repeated.

"Your funeral. It was nice knowing you." Hiccup shuddered.

They quickly turned around when Jack lifted his icy blue eyes and gaze them a large frown.

"What's his next class?" Kristoff whispered.

"Woods."

"That's where we're going."

"Goodbye Dad, it was nice knowing you. Take good care of Toothless."

"Oh c'mon how bad can this guy be? Sure he can get violent with a foam ball and melt a snowman but look at him….can you see him and Elsa together?" Kristoff attempted with a small chuckle.

Hiccup gave him a blank look before he slowly turned around to glance over at Jack.

Thunk! Hiccup let out a cry when a frozen frog flew across the room and hit him square in the face. Kristoff covered his mouth to hold back his lunch while Jack and Pitch laughed and high-fived each other.

"Mr. Frost! Mr. Black! A word!" the teacher shouted.

"So how did you get your music back?" Pitch grumbled an hour later.

The two of them were in the Woods room and Jack was half listening to his music and half talking to Pitch.

"I have no idea. One minute it was gone and the next it's in my bag. I swear I looked into it and it was gone yesterday. I'm not a magician. Someone had to put it there!" Jack insisted.

Pitch smirked. "Must be the fucking elves."

Jack shrugged and returned to his work. Yet as Pitch sneaked to the back window to smoke, Jack could not help but think about who could've returned his IPod…

Someone had to be in the locker room yesterday…but who? Shit that means he knows how to get in. Damn! Jack thought with sudden anger as he swept a hand across his forehead and continued with his work. He was unaware of the two boys who entered in.

"Hi Jackson!" Hiccup greeted, his eyes lingering on Jack's snowflake tattoo. Apparently he was still not over the fact that the guy's frog hit his face, so he kept a safe distance.

Jack turned and looked at the two visitors. "Don't call me that."

"Sorry…Jack, so I need to ask you something." Kristoff said.

Jack nodded slowly and suddenly Kristoff felt his book shake and rumble as Jack's drill sliced through his book. Hiccup looked terrified beyond belief.

"You were saying?" Jack chuckled.

"Okay it looks like you're busy so….we'll just talk later." Kristoff chuckled before turning around and running out of the room with Hiccup at his feet.

"Forget about being doomed. We're absolutely fucked!" Hiccup admitted in the hallway.

Kristoff inspected his German book and looked through the neat hole. So much for trying to tutor Anna. "No we're not, he's perfect. It's the Ice King ships the Ice Witch. And hey we should be rejoicing. He finally got his precious music back."

"Do you see your book? I guarantee that if he went a little deeper he could've drilled a clean hole right through you." Hiccup shuddered at the thought.

"There's only one way to bribe someone like Jack…and that's with money, cold hard, delicious green money...which we don't have." Kristoff insisted.

"Then we'll go to someone who does." Hiccup smirked as they began walking down the hallway.

"Who?" Kristoff asked.

"Someone who has the cash but lacks the brains. And I just might now who that is. I'll be right back." Hiccup turned to the boys' bathroom.

Kristoff leaned back against a locker and let out a sigh. As he began to wait, he noticed Anna stroll over towards him with a cheerful smile on her face. Kristoff straightened immediately and returned her smile.

"Hi Kristopher! Bereit für Deutsch?" Anna asked with a giggle.

It sounds so cute when she says it. Kristoff thought.

"Ja!" he smiled and began to walk away with Anna following beside him.

"Speaking of German…did someone practice their target shooting with yours? Whoever it was he did a good job." Anna giggled.

Kristoff blushed and held up his textbook. "I tried asking someone a favor." he revealed.

Anna cocked her head to the side. "Who?"

"You don't wanna know."

The door to the office closed and Elsa straightened as Mr. Lotso appeared around and sat down into his chair. She struggled not gag as the aroma of raspberries filled her nose. Mr. Lotso was a short chubby man who always seemed to wander around the school in different shades of purple and pinks and had a too-cheerful personality.

"Now Ms. Northland let's here about the little incident with Westergaard…again." Mr. Lotso began, leaning forward and pressing his fingertips together.

Elsa let out a sigh and slumped against her seat. "If you say so…." she began, knowing that she will be here for a while.

"I swear this bitch is going to kill me by the end of the day. Someone should really put her in a cage." Hans cursed in the boys' bathroom. He was standing in front of the mirror and holding an icepack to his right eye.

Gaston chuckled. "You're lucky, she could've aimed for the balls."

"Shut up!"

The doors to the bathroom opened and Hiccup came in. At the sight of the black-eyed Hans, he froze and could only stare.

"What do you want Peep-Squeak?" Hans barked.

"Oh nothing, nice shiner. Did the Ice Witch do it?" Hiccup chuckled. Gaston frowned and made a move yet Hans stopped him.

"Is there something you need?"

Hiccup shrugged. "Well we're actually looking for someone to do us a small favor. But if you're not interested then…"

"What kind of favor?" Hans asked.

"You're looking to hook up with Anna Northland right?" Hiccup asked. He suddenly yelped when Gaston approached him and grabbed his face. The other hand held a uncorked sharpie. Hiccup swallowed as Gaston began to draw on his cheek.

Hans smiled haughtily. "Yes."

"Well she can't really go out with you since her dad just enforced a new rule in the house." Hiccup revealed.

Hans narrowed his eyes. "Which is?"

"No dating unless the Ice Witch dates." Hiccup answered.

"Which is impossible considering Elsa's motives in life. I bet the first wish on her bucket list is to explode the planet." Hans admitted.

"That may be true. But what you need to do is hire a guy who'll be smart enough to go out with Elsa. Someone who won't be intimidated by her iciness. Someone…with the same iciness maybe?"

"Like who?" Hans frowned, stroking his swollen eye.

"Ever hear of Jack Frost?" Hiccup asked softly.

Hans and Gaston exchanged disbelieved glances. They knew exactly who Jack Frost was.

Gaston actually shuddered. "That guy?"

"I heard he ate a live duck once." Hans said.

"Everything but the beak and the feet. And apparently he's money-hungry. Not everyone can afford their cigarettes nowadays." Hiccup nodded.

Hans rubbed his chin in sudden thought. Of course he wanted Anna, but Jack Frost was a whole different story. No one had the nerve to mess around with Frost. Not even Hans himself. Yet the more he thought about it, pairing the Ice Witch of the school with the Icy Delinquent seemed like a possible scenario.

"What's in it for you?" Hans asked after a while.

"A mutual friendship? Hey I'm pairing you up to Anna Northland, the girl you nearly threw into the janitor's cart. You don't want people knowing about that…considering your reputation." Hiccup said.

"Fine, I'll think about it. Fair enough?"

"Of course." Hiccup smiled crookedly as Gaston finally let him go and pushed him aside.

Hans turned his gaze back to the mirror. "Now beat it!"

Hiccup nodded and fixed his rumpled clothes. He turned around and pushed the door to the boy's bathroom. The hallways were empty when Hiccup walked over to the classroom that Astrid was coming out of. At one look Astrid's eyes widened and her mouth flew open.

"Hi Astrid how are you?" Hiccup asked nervously.

"Trying to survive the last few hours, what can I help you with Fishbone?"

"I'm looking for Kris, seen him anywhere?" Hiccup asked.

"He just went to the library with Anna." Astrid answered.

She then choked back a laugh and pointed a finger to her cheek. "You got a..."

"Yeah yeah a dick on my face." Hiccup blushed and hurried away, leaving Astrid giggling by her locker.

Jack let out an annoyed groan and fell back into his seat.

He blamed this all on the squeamish Woods teacher. Apparently he caught sight of Jack's little encounter with Kristoff and assumed that Jack was trying to drill a hole right into the poor kid's balls.

Across from him, the head secretary rolled her eyes and gave him a stern glance. Turning to the closed door that was Mr. Lotso's office, Jack sat up and wondered who was seeing the school's happy-go-lucky psychologist.

The door to the office suddenly flew open and to Jack's surprise, Elsa stormed out. Jack smirked and crossed his arms. He playfully spread out his legs and Elsa stumbled over them, causing Jack to laugh softly as she nearly fell to the ground. The secretary rolled her eyes at them both and resumed typing, while Elsa straightened and shot Jack a dark glare.

"What the hell?"

Jack snickered. "Sorry Ice Queen."

"What are you doing here?"

"I got a nice anger management session with Mr. Happy Raspberry Bear." Jack answered matter-of-factly.

Elsa snorted. "Have fun then, he'll definitely change you for the better."

Before Jack could speak out, Elsa turned and walked right of the main office. Jack shrugged and slipped an earphone into one ear just as Mr. Lotso walked out, looking flushed and beaten. When the older man's eyes fell on Jack he immediately paled.

"Oh great, not another one."

Hiccup met Anna and Kristoff in the far table at the library. Anna was laughing and showing Kristoff funny Vines videos yet Kristoff only had his eyes on her. German seemed like the last thing on their minds.

"It's settled! We got the guy with the dough thinking." Hiccup announced, slumping into a chair across them.

The pair looked up and Anna glanced at him oddly before speaking up. "Hiccup you got a..."

Hiccup shrugged. "Yeah yeah I know."

"Well I'd love to stay and chat but I gotta go. See you later Kristopher! Bye Hiccup!" Anna sprung up and left the library, her heels clicking as she walked along the floor.

"Isn't she something?" Kristoff sighed, his eyes following after the small girl as she said goodbye to the old librarian and walked out the door.

"Focus Romeo!" Hiccup exclaimed.

"Sorry, so who is it?" Kristoff looked up at the sound of the library door opening and he felt a sudden shift in his belly at the sight of Hans coming in with Gaston.

"You're looking at them." Hiccup whispered.

Kristoff groaned. "Him? Why him?"

"Relax buddy Black-Eye will just pretend like he's getting what he wants. We got everything under control. Now as soon as Westergaard starts paying up Frost, we'll be settled." Hiccup smirked.

Kristoff sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Got it, how long do you think that can take?"

"I give it some time. Frost isn't exactly a…convincible person. Let's just trust Hans on this." Hiccup insisted calmly.

Smiling, Hans entered through the doors and looked around the stands. The girl's hockey team dominated the ice rink and aside from the disgusting couple making out nearby, a couple of elementary school kids, and small study group. the bleachers were not as empty.

And Hans easily picked out his target.

Jack and Pitch were sitting on the top bleachers, cracking up over videos on their cellphones. Casting a swift glance at the practicing girls on the ice, Hans made his way to the pair. Pitch glanced up and whispered a name, causing Jack to turn out and look up.

"Well well well I didn't think pretty boys liked this kind of rough-housing." Jack teased.

"Save the sarcasm for another day Frost. Do you see that girl over there? The one with the snowflake on her helmet?" Hans nodded towards the rink.

Jack turned to the rink and followed his gaze. "The Ice Queen?"

"You two would make an amazing couple. Did you ever consider asking her out?" Hans asked with a smile.

Jack and Pitch exchanged an odd glance before Jack turned to Hans again. "Me? Asking out that girl?" he pointed across the stands at Elsa.

Hans met his gaze and the three of them cringed as Elsa slammed one of the girls right into the sidelines to steal the puck.

"Yes." Hans grinned, turning back to the pair.

Pitch laughed. "You're joking, that's not a girl, that's a rhinosaurus."

"Just for a night. Who knows, she might have a few surprises down that tight shirt of hers?" Hans suggested.

"I think you'd know pretty well considering your glorious reputation." Jack grumbled as he scrolled through his phone.

"Look I just want to ask her sister out on a small innocent date. Nothing more. And I can't really do that with her father looking at my back all the time." Hans insisted, growing irritated. Was this kid seriously just as complicated as the Ice Witch?

"Aw poor boy, I bet there's plenty of fish in the sea. That a really touching story, but not my problem Don Juan." Jack smiled.

"Would you make it your problem if it involves this?" Hans reached into his pocket and withdrew a few dollar bills.

Jack stopped laughing and looked up at the boy. For a moment he did not know what to say. "You're actually paying me to take out some chick with serious attitude problems?"

"How much?" Pitch chimed in.

Hans shrugged. "Twenty."

"For a rich boy you're one terrible investor. I like treating my girls like girls on our dates. What if I want to take her to a hockey game? Or….a fancy dinner downtown? Or I wanna buy her….I don't know….a Swarovski ring?" Jack asked with a grin.

Hans rolled his eyes and held up a few more dollars. Once he held them out, Jack snatched it from his hand and counted them. After he was done counting Jack held the dollar bills in the air and squinted. Pitch winked at the disbelieved Hans before Jack stood.

"Seventy…good start." Jack admitted, slipping the cash into his leather jacket.

"Don't screw it up Frost." Hans scowled.

Jack gave him a sly smirk in response. "I don't intend to."

A few minutes after Hans left, Jack noticed that the girls' hockey team had stopped playing and were now returning to the stands to head home for the day.

Perfect.

Leaving Pitch, Jack slipped his hands into his pockets and walked to the other side of the stands where Elsa sat with Astrid. As he neared, he noticed that Elsa took off her helmet and her long braid cascaded down her back. A light blue bandana was tied around her head and Jack had to admit it looked quite…

Whoa slow down there Frost. This is the Ice Witch for crying out loud.

"Ahem!" Jack spoke up.

Curious, Elsa lifted her head and turned to look over her shoulder.

She arched a brow and Jack forced on a friendly smile. "Can I help you?"

"So how's your day going?" Jack asked.

"As you can see I'm sweating like a pig. And you? Do you need class notes or something?" Elsa admitted gruffly, grabbing her helmet and duffel bag.

When she toppled over from the load Jack took the moment to hold out an arm.

"Want me to carry some of that?"

"She's good," Astrid interjected.

"No." Elsa grimaced and turned to Jack. "He can." she turned and thrusted her duffel bag into his arms along with her stick and helmet.

"Think you can handle it?" Elsa asked sweetly.

"Are you kidding? I'm used to this." Jack insisted, juggling all the equipment in his arms.

"Great, if you wanna pay for my precious cargo I suggest you don't drop anything. We're going to my car. Coming Astrid?"

"I'm getting a ride with the twins. I'll see you tomorrow." Astrid gave Jack a final death glare before turning around and walking the other direction.

"So what are you doing this Friday night?" Jack asked as he followed Elsa out of the ice rink and towards her car.

Fumbling with her bag, Elsa took out her keys and opened the trunk. "Nothing that'll interest you I'm sure."

"Oh and how do you know? I'm a man of many tastes and ideas." Jack grinned and leaned against the back of her car as Elsa began to take back the equipment from his arms and put them away.

Elsa rolled her eyes. "Please don't use one of Hans' idiotic catch lines."

"So you still didn't answer me." Jack said.

"Friday? Oh I heard that a lot over the years. It always seems to be a guy's favorite night to screw." Elsa laughed.

"Are you always so negative about our manhood? I can take you out to somewhere you've never been before." Jack offered.

"Like where? The 7Eleven by my house? Sorry been there too many times with too many creeps." Elsa frowned and walked around to the driver's seat.

Jack could only stare at her in complete disbelief. He hadn't expected her to be this rebellious, usually the previous girls gave in right away.

Don't mess it up Frost! You got Mr. Moneybanks paying you to take this chick out! You better not screw this up! The little voice inside his head screamed out.

"C'mon I'm more than what you think!" he insisted.

Elsa chuckled and opened the door to her car. "Why am I so uncertain about that?"

And without another word Elsa slipped in and turned on the ignition. Jack jumped back just in time to avoid having his hand closed on. When he tried to speak his voice was cut off with the sound of the tires screeching and Elsa pulling out of the parking lot. Once her little blue bug was gone, Jack shook his head in complete disbelief.

"Women!"