*16

The shuttle ride was painful, oh so painful, but prolonged sitting had been that way for quite a while for Malcolm Reed. He was sixty-five years old but felt far older.

He had been up front with Shelby, but had to go in the back and lie down on the floor. It just hurt too much. Neil ended up sitting up front with Shelby, bowled over by the endless controls and the woman flicking switches and turning knobs and changing coordinates as fast as a whirling dervish.

In the back, Malcolm lay down as well as he could and Norri got off the seat and knelt down and put his head in her lap, "How is it?" she finally asked.

"Pretty awful," he admitted, "I've had about four years of this or so. I'll be, uh, I'll be better once I can get up and walk 'round a bit, Lioness."

"Ha, did you know that that's not what Leonora actually means?" she said.

"Really? Do tell me – anything to get my mind off my wretched back."

"It's Greek, and it means light," she said.

"A light in dark times," he mused, "She – uh, Lili – she always said that all names are meaningful. Not just their meanings and translations but also what they mean to the parents who provide those names to their children. But I think mine just liked names that started with M, seeing as my sister is Madeline."

"Well, let's see," Norri adjusted his head in her lap as she reached for a PADD, "Hmm. Malcolm means devotee of Saint Columbia. Who was, the patron saint of," she checked, "poets and bookbinders."

"Poets, eh? Even sonnets and limericks and doggerel, I suppose."

"And bookbinding," Norri said, "Malcolm is also, uh, a Shakespearean character."

"Yes, King Duncan's elder son in the Scottish play. I don't much care for it. Even the children would call me Mackum, even after they could pronounce it properly."

"Well, I for one can't imagine you being called anything else," she smiled down at him, "Yanno, I don't imagine the bare ground will be any more comfortable for you, my old friend."

"Probably not," he said, "It doesn't matter. We can walk 'round a bit and get more tired if we need to. You have the old bracelet, right?" he asked, fingering the cuff as he lay there, cringing a little. He was so uncomfortable.

"Yep," she said, tugging her sleeve up to show him.

"Approaching the landing coordinates, sir," Shelby reported from the front of the shuttle.

"Oh, good," Malcolm replied.

"Here, and flip that switch and you'll turn on the landing thrusters," Shelby said to Neil.

"This one?"

"Yeah. Now. Good. You can study to be a shuttle pilot, I bet," she said.

"I dunno," he said, "I'm still in High School. I can't join up for another year."

Leonora blanched, "He never told me about joining up," she said quietly to Malcolm.

"Well, maybe he won't," he replied, "There's no sense in the last one hurtling himself in the direction of their phaser fire."

Shelby got up and opened the hatch, "Here we are."

Norri helped Malcolm up and he leaned on her as he got himself out of the shuttle. He made a face as he stepped onto the uneven ground, "Hand me that case, will you, Neil?"

Malcolm opened it. It had phase pistols in it, "Ever use one of these?" he asked.

"He's just a child," Leonora said.

"He may need it. Here," he said as Neil got out and looked at the pistol, "There are two settings – stun and kill. I think you need to set to kill. There won't be any humans here except for us, so if you see anyone, they'll most like be a twenty. Don't aim at Calafans, and don't aim at all if the group is mixed."

"Don't," Norri said, looking tired and old and upset.

"I'm sorry," Malcolm said, "But I don't see a choice here. You'll need to have one with you as well. I know you're not like this, but what can we do? I can't turn and fire as quickly as I used to. All I wish to do here is sleep, make contact and then leave. But the twenties might have other things in mind for us. So we'd best be prepared."

"I guess you're right," Norri said, "But for the record, I never wanted this."

"None of us did," Shelby said.

Neil was walking around, and circled back, "I don't remember this place at all."

"Well, it didn't look like this in 2166," Norri said, "There was still a house. See the bricks? That's where the living room fireplace was. Next to it, a little closer to the garden, was the dining room, then the kitchen shot off to the side. It was a really big kitchen. The kids' room was on the other side of the living room and the master bedroom was next to it. There was supposed to be an addition being built near the front, it was breaking through the front part which was where Marie Patrice slept when she was still in a crib. But by the time 2166 rolled around, well, we never got the addition finished – we never bothered – so you kids all crowded into the one room in the back," she paused for a moment.

"And we tried to make contact here," Malcolm said, walking to the old spot, where the master bedroom had been and Doug and Lili's bed had stood. It was a firm mattress, he recalled – he could use that right at that moment – with a slightly harder side on the left. He well recalled getting into it, him and Melissa, and both of them apologizing out to the ether, to two people who weren't there, that they were invading the sanctum sanctorum.

"2166," Norri sighed, turning the phase pistol over in her hands. It was far too big for her.

"You did everything you could," Malcolm assured her.

"If I had been stronger, well, there would maybe have been three lost instead of four," she said.

"You were very strong. A fierce lioness," he said, "You protected him. So it was four lost instead of five. And that's worth a lot."

Neil continued walking around and kicked at something in the dirt. He bent over and picked it up.

"What have you got?" Shelby asked, coming over.

"Some kid's toy," Neil said.

"Oh, that," Norri said, "That was Joss's old stuffed dinosaur. When we took them away from here, I looked for it. I figured he might get lonely or regress and want it, but he didn't. He was very stoic for a three year old child. He took everything very seriously, but even more seriously then."

"And then you were born not too long after that," Malcolm said, "I always wondered 'bout that. Rick came in February, but the departure happened in November. It's like they were transporting for months."

"That's a really long transport," Shelby interjected, "There's pattern degradation."

Malcolm and Norri both looked at her with pained eyes, "Their patterns didn't degrade," Norri finally said, "I know they didn't."

"So, Captain," Shelby ventured, "what are we doing here?"

"It's a bit of madness," he said, "The three of us are going to have a little lie down. There is – in this system, and with these people, it is possible to make contact on either side of the pond with others. But it's in a dream state."

"What?" she asked.

"We sleep," Norri said, "I haven't done this before so I may be explaining it wrong. But we go to sleep. And we reach out. And there are others we can, we can talk to. And contact is better here because there's something here."

"Yes," Malcolm said, "Over there, see past the little rise? There's a larger elevation. The natives call it Point Abic. It's not quite a mountain but it's bigger than what I think we'd all refer to as a hill. And on it, there are a number of dishes. They resemble old twentieth century satellite dishes a bit. And they're composed of this, it's a kind of amplifying alloy. And this cuff which I wear is composed of the same material," he showed it.

"Oh," Shelby said, "I've seen you wearing that and had no idea what it was."

"This bracelet also has that stuff in it," Norri said, "And since there's a lot of it here, it should make the contacting a bit easier."

"And it should be faster and clearer as well," Malcolm added, "And on the other side, our, well, the recipients of our message are, they have similar bits and bobs of this amplifying material on their persons. We know that they are there, and listening, so we will call, and they shall answer."

"But it didn't work last time," Neil pointed out.

"No, it didn't," Norri admitted, "But we're gonna try again."

"I'll stand guard, of course," Shelby said, "You just do what you need to do."

Norri beckoned Malcolm over to the garden, "You see what I'm seeing?" she asked.

"Huh," he said, "Her day lilies. How absurd. People are dead but delicate flowers survive. A bit of beauty in a wasted land."

"I have a question."

"Yes?" he asked.

"Be quiet about this and don't say anything to Neil."

"All right, Leonora."

"What did it mean when she wrote, 'I kept my elbow up'? Do you know what that meant, Malcolm?"

"No. Doug will know, I'm sure. He – I don't know how we shall tell them."

"Straightforwardly," Norri said, "Can you, do you think you can sleep?"

"Yes," he said, "I shall will myself to sleep."

"Come, Neil," Norri said, "Let's go over here."

It was the site where the old bed had stood. Shelby helped them clear away a small amount of debris – charred wood which might have been burned bed slats for all they knew. Malcolm couldn't help with that so he just stood guard.

It was as clear as they could make it. He tentatively got down and on his side. Oh, it hurt, "Neil," he said, "lie here, to my left. Leonora, lie to the left of Neil."

They did so. Cringing, he put his left arm around them both, "Now, Lioness, take my hand and make sure the bracelet is in contact with the cuff. That seems to help. Neil, I know you're in physical contact with both of us right now, but also be sure to be touching either the cuff or the bracelet. And sleep."

"We just sleep?" asked Neil, putting his hand over Norri's.

"Yes," Malcolm said, "She said – the Calafans always say to one another, they don't say good night. They say be with who you desire."

"Then be with who you desire," Shelby said, "And I'll keep watch."

=/\=

They kissed one last time and drifted off. The lab was chilly and the floor was hard, but they were together and close and they wanted this as much as they had just wanted each other. Lili held the key in her hand and her wedding ring, both on the thin chain, and Doug had his hand over hers, his wedding ring touching hers very slightly.

*17

It was a crowded hallway, filled with Calafans of both types. Coppery and silvery, they walked, or stood, sometimes alone and sometimes in groups.

Sometimes one would find another, and there would be a reunion of sorts and they would disappear through a suddenly-appearing door off to some unknown room with, perhaps, an unknown bed.

Others searched and did not find their desires, and stood disappointed, rejected, jilted.

Still others flicked fingers at one another or ogled or looked on with unrequited desire or shyness.

It was a huge singles bar, a pickup joint in a shared subconscious.

The hall seemed to stretch on forever. Arm in arm, Norri, Neil and Malcolm walked.

A large Calafan man came over to Norri and flicked his finger twice at her. She had no idea what that meant, "Are you searching?" he asked, a tall, bald, coppery fellow with piercing hazel eyes.

"Yes," she said, not understanding the implication.

"You are human," he said, looking her up and down.

"Yes."

He blocked their passage.

"Excuse me," Malcolm said, his mouth tight.

The Calafan man towered over him, "Is this your man and your son?" he asked Norri, "You are inexperienced with this. You are not supposed to bring them along."

The light finally dawned. Norri said, "Sorry, we aren't looking for you."

A coppery Calafan woman came over, "Leave them alone," she said to the man, who blended back in the crowd, just another coppery bit in an endless stream of metallic tones.

"We are looking for two humans," Malcolm said.

"Ah," The woman said. A door appeared and she touched it.

A dream, it's just a dream, Norri said to herself.

The door, and the woman, disappeared, and they were left in a bare room with Lili and Doug.

Doug and Lili rushed over.

"Don't," Malcolm cried out, a little louder than he'd intended. He put his hand up reflexively.

"What? What's the matter?" asked Lili.

"He's in a lot of pain all the time," Norri explained, "So tread lightly."

"I see," Lili said, "It's still good to see you," she smiled tentatively. He looked so much older.

"Where's Melissa?" Doug asked.

=/\=

José Torres sat in the command chair on the ISS Luna and smiled a little to himself.

The Luna was a small vessel and he was not happy that it had no real weapons to speak of. It was good for little more than scouting, which had been its original purpose. But at least it was his. It would be able to ram through a far smaller gap between the universes than the Defiant would require and, perhaps, would be able to make the passageway larger, so that the Defiant herself could finally come through. It lazily orbited the rock below – what was its name again? – Lafa II.

He surveyed his crew, such as they were. Hodgkins was piloting. Someone else – Curtis? – was manning the meager communications station. It was a total of eighteen men, mostly from Security. Miller and Rosen had reported but he hadn't needed them. No sense in sharing the glory with more people than necessary. And he was particularly glad to be rid of Thomas Sato.

The men were standing around, mostly touching their guns or the hilts of their knives. The most insecure Security personnel ever – he had to laugh at that.

If things went well, it would be a great day indeed. If not, well, he didn't want to be thinking about that.

He thought back, instead, to 2166. That time, he had gone in alone, and on foot. It had been a suicide mission. No one had known what they would find on the twenty-one side. After all, there was a very real possibility that the

Defiant was just so much space debris. Maybe that side would have hundreds, or thousands, of ships like theDefiant.No one had known.

But he had gone in anyway, and not because he was brave, or even stupid, but because you just didn't refuse the Empress. All she cared about was that it would be quick. She hated long campaigns. They bored her.

So he had gone in, and braced himself for an onslaught but, instead, he found no resistance whatsoever. It was just a bunch of kids sledding. They and their parents were completely unarmed. He had fired at will.

The rest of the ground troops had poured in behind him, and slaughtered whoever they'd seen. Sure, troops came in from the twenty-one side, but there were far too few of them so they had quickly pulled back to any ships in the area. But that was before the radiation band testers, so he'd gotten men onto some of the smaller ships, and suddenly they had control over a few ships and then the fun had really begun.

They had set up a base of operations on Lafa IX, where there was just some big zoological park. They had killed and eaten anything that had looked edible, and a lot of things that didn't. And they had fanned out and taken the system, planet by planet, moon by moon. They had everything except for the biggest planet, and only left that one because it was within the orbits of the three smallest stars. It was a seething mass of heat and radiation and no good for anyone. The other eleven, though, belonged to the Terran Empire.

As for the Calafan people, they had squelched any resistance with blood. The remainder went quietly, like the good little silver sheep they were, enslaved as quickly and as thoroughly as the copper ones had been subjugated on the twenty side of things a few years before.

The rewards in 2166 had been great. He'd gotten better rations and bigger quarters. He was an Ensign, no longer a mere crewman.

And then there were the women.

First, he had been given Bernstein. She was only average-looking and didn't have enough skills, but she was his, to do with as he pleased. Then he'd gotten Claymore and, finally, Hudson, who was painfully, smoking hot and could do things the others couldn't. He had enjoyed them over the years, in every single way imaginable. By themselves, doubly or triply, if he desired. Or he would just watch as they did things by his command. They performed for him like trained seals. He didn't have to do anything for them.

But now he was looking for some new glory and the Luna would be his ticket. He had grown tired of them and needed newer and younger playmates. And then, the sky would be the limit. He could get a Lieutenancy! And maybe even have the system named for him.

The Torres System.

Now that would be cool.

=/\=

"Doug, I wish we had been able to tell you sooner," Norri said.

"Tell me what?"

"She – I wish we had mentioned this. Her family, they have a history of bipolar disorder," Norri began, "When you left in 2161, Melissa became depressed. She suffered from it off and on, but Neil was small and we had the other children and they filled our lives."

"Neil," Doug said, looking at the boy.

"Yeah. I'm Neil."

"After 2166, when we didn't have contact with you, she became worse," Norri said.

"No contact?" asked Lili.

"Yes," Malcolm said, "We called but there was no answer."

"Well, for us, it doesn't feel like it happened yet," Doug said.

"Something must have prevented contact," Lili offered.

"I suppose so," Norri said.

"Maybe we weren't there long enough to sleep," Lili said, "I know we would have tried, just like now."

"Well, when you're clinically depressed, I guess that isn't something you understand," Norri said, "She reupped for a three-year tour. I don't think anyone was paying too much attention to her mental state."

"I can guarantee they weren't," Malcolm said, "There was such a need for troops that there was no time for niceties. No one would have noticed less than perfect mental fitness, particularly in a trained pilot. She went to pilot for the Enterprise. I had a ship by then, and Travis was my pilot, so Jonathan needed her."

"She served with distinction," Norri said, "But when she came home, she drifted. We thought she was more or less all right but I'll be the first to admit that I couldn't do for her what she needed. I was too wrapped up in my own guilt. I cared for Neil, I worked. I wish I could have had more time and energy. God knows no one wanted an editor so I worked in munitions. Neil, of course, remained in school."

"I'm sure you did what you could," Lili said.

"But it wasn't enough," Norri said, "We used to get together for Christmas every year. No matter what, we did that. And it was 2171, Boxing Day. It was exactly five years since the older kids were grabbed. And, well, it was just the four of us. She told us to go out, that she didn't feel like going. We had a dinner out and looked at the lights. And thank God I walked in first."

"What does that mean?" asked Doug.

"I found her," Norri said, "She had, she had shot herself at close range with a phase bow."

Doug crumpled, his face in his hands.

"Dammit, why isn't there some place to sit in here?!" Lili yelled, "I want a damned bench. Give us a damned bench."

It was a dream, so a bench materialized out of thin air. She led Doug over to it and he sat down. She stood behind him, her hand on his shoulder. After a while, he put his hand back to take hers. His hand was wet.

"There was a note," Norri said, "Just five words. I don't know what they mean: I kept my elbow up."

"It means she, she aimed and meant to hit her target," Doug said quietly, "She meant to do it."

"Yeah," Neil said, looking down.

"How old were you?" asked Lili.

"Ten," he said.

Lili left Doug and walked over to Neil, "I understand," she said.

"No, you don't."

"Actually, I do," she said, "My parents died in a house fire when I was nine years old. If I hadn't been visiting with my grandparents, I would have died, too. And my counterpart on the other side of the pond, she and her brother did die. All four of them. And I figured I didn't deserve to have survived, like I wasn't good enough and I hadn't done anything to be allowed to be the sole repository of my family's memories and their love and their talents and everything else. I got into trouble and I didn't face it much. I know now what a difficult child I must have been. It wasn't until I became a master of fire that I began to process it. I began to have a handle on what had destroyed my family, and I could turn it to something that was almost good. And I began to slowly realize that my hopelessly old-fashioned, ancient and unhip grandparents were doing the very best they could for me, and that I should try and, and make it so that things wouldn't be so hard for them. Just like, I'm sure, Norri and Malcolm try to do for you."

"I dunno," Neil said.

"Neil," Doug said quietly.

"Are you even my Dad?" Neil asked.

"Yes," Doug said, looking up, eyes flaming red, "The others have my eyes. You have Melissa's. And Joss and Marie Patrice are both lighter. Tom has, he kinda has Melissa's brow; it's a bit sharp. You have my hairline. You have my nose. And even if you didn't, I would still know you were mine. You were, you gotta understand, Neil. You were made by two people who loved – love – each other."

"It's not present tense. It's past," Neil said.

"No. It's present," Doug said, "Just because she's, she's dead, that doesn't mean that I can't still love her," he said quietly.

"I don't even understand this," Neil said, "Aren't you married to her? Was my mother just kind of an affair?"

"No," Lili said, "Your mother was – is – as much in Doug's life as, well, as I am. As much as Malcolm is in mine. As much as your mother is, yes, is, in Norri's. As much as Norri's life is in her, her memory."

"I wanna get outta this," Neil said, "I can just wake up, right?"

"You can," Lili said, "But you should at least understand that everyone here has your best interests at heart. And that this is being done not to hurt you, but to try and make a better life for you. One where we get an instant replay and it can all zero back to 2161."

"Why should I even listen to you? You're not my mother," he said.

"No, I'm not. No more than Norri is. No more than Malcolm is your father. Yet they have raised you and loved you. And I don't think that some accident of genetics should make any difference here."

"I can't stay," Neil said, "I can't get it to make sense."

"Let's drop off," Norri said, "I think staying just hurts."

"I'll go, too," Doug said, "Give you some privacy. I need to, uh, I need to think about this while I'm awake. And I need to protect you, 'cause if someone comes, well, it would be better if I was ready."

Norri came over and he stood up. They hugged, "Fix this," she said, "Please."

When they broke apart, he looked over at Malcolm, "Reed, remember what I said?"

"Of course."

"I still mean that. I would still want you to do that. And you've been doing that, as much as you could. I can tell."

"Under-understood."

"Neil," Doug said, "Come here a second."

Neil came over.

"You are my boy. I didn't go away because of not caring or not wanting to know you. I didn't want to go away at all. I love you as much as I love the other kids. I am as proud of you, as invested with you and as identified with you as I am with them. You are my boy."

=/\=

He was free for the evening, so he started to walk down the halls. And then he thought better of it, and grabbed a small bottle he'd gotten when they'd ransacked some place or another. He hadn't been a part of the ransacking, but he still enjoyed in the spoils at times. And the bottle was definitely one of the better spoils.

B deck. He knew she'd be there. Not that he'd had a lot of occasions to do this, but he did know that she rarely left quarters after a certain hour.

She was rarely able to.

He got there, and he hesitated just a slight bit, but there was no one watching. Her roommate could be readily intimidated and thrown out if necessary. He hit the door chime, and heard her voice, telling him to come in, and a soft Titania drawl that she'd never really shaken.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, not even properly greeting him.

"I thought. I had this," he said, presenting the bottle.

"Thanks. I thought you'd be busy."

"No, she picked Ramirez to complement Travis for the night. So I'm free."

"Aidan," she said, "We can't get caught."

"I know," he said, "We won't," he came closer. She'd been good-looking years ago, and so had he. But too much time had passed, and they weren't the people they had been.

"What do you want with me anyway? Claymore is probably available."

"I want to talk to someone who knows about more than just conquering things. Someone who's read a book or two. And maybe kiss that woman a few times, too. And more if she'll let me. Will she?"

"I don't know," she said, "Don't want to be caught. You and I both hang by threads most of the time."

"I'll be careful, Susan," he said, "I'll leave early and she'll never know. I don't know when I can be back. Can you be okay with that?"

She just nodded and pulled the sheets back on her tiny bed.

=/\=

The other three woke themselves, and it was just the two of them.

Lili tried to come closer, but Malcolm again held his hand up and, in a pained voice just said, "Don't."

*18

"Please, Lili, don't."

The fact that he didn't use the pet name he'd created for her did not go unnoticed, "All right, I'll just stay over here," Lili said, "Can I, is it okay if I ask how you were injured, and what your injury is?"

"I suppose so," he said, shifting from foot to foot, "It's better if I walk 'round a bit."

"Pace if you have to."

"Yes," he said absently, "I was, it was a shuttle crash. I was pinned and my pelvis was crushed."

"Oh my God," she said, "But they can fix that, Malcolm, right?"

"This is fixed," he said.

"Oh. When did this happen?"

"It was in 2174," he said, "On Andoria."

"Oh. Was anyone else hurt?"

He looked away, "Not, not hurt."

But it didn't feel like good news, "Because they didn't survive. Am I right?"

"Yes," he whispered.

"Anyone I knew?"

"Yes."

Lili took a handkerchief out of her pocket, "Go on. Tell me everything."

"It was, we were coming back from a treaty signing. I was the designated representative for the, the twenty-ones. You know what that is, right?"

"Yes. It's a radiation band. You and I belong on your side, where everything vibrates at twenty-one centimeters. Here, on the other side of the pond, they vibrate at twenty centimeters. Doug is a twenty."

Malcolm took a pendant out from his shirt. It was functional, nothing stylish, "See this bit of jewelry I now wear? This is a scanner. I can tell who is who. Our orders are to kill anyone who is not a Calafan but is a twenty. So I suppose it's a good thing that Doug went and I did not, for he would be shot on sight here. No trial, no questions, no remorse and no exceptions. Even children who are twenties are to be eliminated. It's a nasty, horrid business."

"I think the same is true here, in reverse, I saw a Xindi woman fail the test – they were table top scanners, not worn, and, anyway, she was just shot in the head. Nobody even debated it. They just did it."

He put the pendant back, "I despise what I have done, and what I have become."

"Tell me about the treaty," She said, "Surely Starfleet trusted you a great deal for them to make you their proxy."

"Not Starfleet. It was an alliance of us, Tellarites, Xindi, Andorians, Xyrillians, Denobulans, Calafans – such as they were; for them, it was a government in exile, Vulcans and another one. Wait, it was the Takret."

"Well, that's good. That's how peace gets started."

"If you're not in a constant state of war, that is," he said, "I was chosen. And we went. And the Empress, she sent her own emissary. It was Chandler Masterson's counterpart. We signed, we shook hands and it seemed like all was well."

"Was this to end the hostilities?" she asked.

"No. But, it seemed like a decent first step. We departed – four of us."

"Who was with you?"

"My pilot, my first officer and my communications officer. That is to say, Travis, Tripp and Hoshi."

"Oh Gawd," Lili said, and made use of the handkerchief, "I, I know that this handkerchief isn't real, and the tears aren't, either, not now, not in this dream. But they will be real."

"I know you are upset. And what I am saying is only going to make you all the more upset. Shall I awaken now, and spare you?"

"No," Lili said, regaining her composure, "Tell me. You've waited a long time. The least I can do is listen."

"Well, it's probably going to be all out of order."

"I'll ask questions," she said.

"Very well. We took off and we were fired upon. Whether that was under Masterson's orders hardly seems to matter anymore. Travis was the fortunate one. He, he was killed on impact."

"Oh," Lili said. She sat down on the bench.

"I was pinned – paralyzed, although I didn't know that at the time. Hoshi and Tripp attempted to free me. But ground troops landed. Andoria wasn't supposed to be a battle theater. In any event, it ended up as hand to hand. I couldn't see what was happening, but I could hear quite a bit of it as it wasn't far from the crash site. That little woman, she fought as hard as anyone. And I wish I hadn't, but I heard their final words to one another: 'I love you, Tripp.' 'I love you, Hoshi.'See, I didn't want to be a part of so much intimacy. But I couldn't crawl away from it. After all those years, all that intervening time, there was still something there. At least they passed together, more or less."

"And the Andorians found you?"

"No. The twenties did. I was placed into one of their prisons, on their side of the pond, actually. The alliance negotiated for my release during my entire term in there, which was nearly a year. I did not receive much in the way of medical treatment, save to assure that I didn't die before the Empress could squeeze as much as possible out of releasing me. I didn't want them to give up quite so much, but they did. The alliance, they finally ended up ceding the Xyrillian home world. It was because, well, they needed Captains. And I was one of very few."

"But what about Archer?" she asked.

"That happened earlier," he said, "This will be a bit out of order. That one was two years prior. The Enterprise was destroyed and all hands with her."

Lili just sat there and wept, "Tell me," she finally managed to squeak out.

"Hoshi had been on a short leave. So she was spared that time. Tripp was already my first officer, and Travis, my pilot. Tripp could have had a command, I suppose, but they gave it to me. They did that because there was far more of a need for a military man than for an engineer. So the main personnel were split up. I got MacKenzie for my tactical man. Tripp was still the Chief Engineer. Hoshi ended up coming in to do Communications – I had had Masterson – our Masterson, of course – for that role. My Medical Officer was, and still is, Cyril Morgan."

"Morgan? I think the doctor here is named Morgan."

"Underfed fellow, older, face is, uh," he smiled very slightly, "mostly nose?"

"Yeah," Lili said, "Must be his counterpart."

"Yes."

"Tell me about your ship."

"It was supposed to be named the USS Excelsior. But it was also supposed to be an exploration vessel, just like the Enterprise.That all changed, naturally. So I put in a request to have them change the name. And, to my surprise, they did so."

"A warship should be something menacing, right?"

"You taught me that all names are meaningful. I had them name it the USS Bluebird. And I did that because, well, it's the bluebird of happiness, right?"

"Yes."

"And I felt that maybe someday someone could be happy again," he stared straight ahead, "And, and you had always loved blue."

She got up and walked over to him but he backed away again and the stress must have been powerfully painful, for he cringed and took out his own handkerchief, "Please, please don't."

"Malcolm, this is a dream. People without legs can climb mountains. You don't have to feel any pain."

"It's all just a bit of fantasy, isn't that right?" she nodded, "Well, you see, when you have had enough bitter doses of reality, an escape into a fantasy just seems like a betrayal of all that."

She was about to comment on that when she saw a bit of yellow flash on his left hand. Something bothered her slightly, like she was involuntarily changing positions.

=/\=

Doug was awake in the lab. He very, very carefully pushed her sleeping form up just a bit, far enough up so that he could move his body away. He placed her gently back on the floor and got dressed, then came back, pushing her up again. He couldn't dress her without waking her, but he put his jacket over her. And then he took out his phase rifle and waited in case anyone wanted to challenge him for the room, or for her.

=/\=

"You married," Lili said, commenting on the ring she had just seen.

"Oh. That," he said, but it didn't make him smile.

"Doesn't sound good," she said, "Did you, did you divorce?"

"No, Lili. You need to actually be wed first before you can divorce."

"I don't get it."

"Our doctor Morgan – and perhaps the one on your side as well – he has a niece. And I knew her from before. We, we reconnected. And I proposed on our second outing."

"Anyone I know?"

"Yes, Pamela Hudson," he said, "I was, I was back from prison and getting treatment. By this time I could walk again, after a fashion, but nothing else. You see, it wasn't just walking that I could not – still cannot – do."

Lili looked up, "I see."

"So our arrangement was, it was to be open. But not in the loving way that, that yours was with Doug and all of us. It was, instead, for convenience's sake. She would, she would take my ring, and my name, and little else. And I would have her ring, and be able to call her my wife. There was never any intention of us sharing a home. It was a desperate act for two people who were a bit desperate. Clinging, overprotective and thinking a lot less of each other's happiness than about how secure it could be. And the whole idea of security was an illusion. She would keep her nighttime appointments, her romps with whoever, since I am incapable of such things. But her one generous act was," he stopped for a second, "It was, she knew some people. In the, the medical field. They could fix me. But it would take a while. I'd have to be placed on a waiting list. So we would wait. That would be our, the term of our engagement. We would wait for me to be repaired and rehabilitated, and then we would marry and at least, somehow, be able to consummate it."

"It was a generous act."

"It was to be her wedding present to me."

"What happened?"

"That treaty I told you about? It was an agreement whereby we said that we would not fire upon each other's medical facilities or vessels. That was all it was. It was thoroughly useless. There was no intention by the twenties of ever following it. Pamela, she was working on one of those mobile surgical units. She wasn't doing plastic surgery anymore – she was trying to reattach limbs. She had, I feel, become the doctor, if not the person, that she probably always had in her."

"She has goodness in her," Lili said, "Even if she doesn't admit it or see it."

"She had the same luck as Travis. All I can hope is that she not only didn't feel it or see it, but that she didn't know about it at all. That she was just getting her coffee or closing up a patient or checking a PADD, just a regular, somewhat mundane day, instead of knowing that it was her, her dying day."

"Oh Malcolm."

"So I wear this," he looked down at the ring for a second, "She had the jeweler design it to her specifications. It's jagged on the side, you see. And the two rings, they were to fit, jagged edge to jagged edge. She never picked hers up, of course. I, I had the jeweler melt it down. I wear it now, on the same hand where I wear the cuff you gave me. They are my reminders."

"And you never went through with the surgery?"

"No. It's just like battlefield triage. A person who needs a new leg, or has a collapsed lung or is missing an eye – that person is a far higher priority than whether Malcolm Reed will ever make love again."

=/\=

There were sounds outside but, so far as Doug could tell, they didn't affect him and Lili. Still, he remained on alert.

=/\=

She got up and came close again, and he sprang back again, "This is just so much frustration for me."

"I told you, you don't have to be injured right now."

"And I told you. Lili, why must you torture me so?"

"I just want to – I won't touch your back, or anywhere you don't want me to," she said, "Just your hand, or your face, if that's all that you'll accept."

"Please. Don't."

"I want you to know," she took the key out from her shirt, "I read the inscription."

"Just a bit of doggerel, nothing more."

"No. It was important. It is important. It helped me."

"For you it's just, what, a day or two? For me it is a lot more than, than that."

"I know. But I also – do you remember what you said when you gave it to me? It was the same thing you said when we first admitted that we loved each other."

"Words of love," he said, "From a thousand years ago."

"You said, you loved me beyond all reason, all hope, all belief and all faith."

"Pretty words with no more meaning than that, that ribbon in your hair."

"Which you gave me. I didn't understand it before, but I think I do now. You see, there are a thousand reasons why things wouldn't work, and hopes can be dashed. Beliefs can be wrong and faith can be tested," she paused, "But with love, things do work, hopes are restored, beliefs are proven and faith is, it's rewarded."

"But they don't work."

"They don't have to," she said, "My love for you isn't just hinged on performance. I won't deny that I like it. But to be with you is what really matters."

He just stood there.

She walked over and this time, he cringed and shook, bracing himself for impact.

She placed her arms around him and there was sparking.

"What the devil is that?" he asked, voice broken.

"It's, it's ionization. It happens in these dreams when people who have really connected and bonded reunite after not having been together for a while. It's happened between me and Doug, and it's happening now between you and me. And I wouldn't expect anything less."

"Make it stop."

"It will. Just a second," she said gently. It stopped.

He stood there, not hugging her back, just standing there, until he finally, gingerly, placed his head on her shoulder.

"We're gonna fix this," she said, "This timeline will go away."

"So you will, you'll go back and what of everything?"

"It'll be rewound. Rick said each universe has but one correct timeline. We're not in it right now. It's like knitting. The yarn has made been made into a sweater, but it's deformed and the sleeves don't match. We're going to rip that yarn out and rewind it on the ball. And it'll, instead, be knitted up into a scarf," she turned her head and kissed him on the cheek.

He breathed in her ear, "And if you fail?"

"We won't fail."

"But do this one thing," he said, "Because if there's anything I've learned, it's that victory is always far from assured."

"Go on."

"Kill the Empress."

=/\=

Now it was getting louder and Doug realized they'd better be dressed and separated as crewmen were running down the hallway in front of the lab. Detection would not be a good thing for either of them. Much as he didn't want to, he began to gently push on Lili's shoulder in order to wake her.

=/\=

She felt it.

"Doug's waking me."

"So he is with you?"

"Only for the night. We can't, we have to pretend we're unmarried. I'm posing as a Calafan slave."

"Don't let them harm you, Lili-Flower."

"I won't."

"Have you seen your children? And the, the other one?"

"Yes. We've got two out of the four on board with what we want to do."

"Good. Hope is, perhaps, halfway restored, then."

She put her hand on his face, "I love you."

"It is my only certainty," he said, "I love you."

They kissed.

=/\=

She woke.

"Dress quickly," Doug said, and Lili complied.

Tentatively, they opened the door to the lab. Miller was running down the hallway and Doug flagged him down, "What's going on?" Doug asked.

"They say the opening is almost big enough for the Luna to get through. It's gonna be on the widescreen."