Chapter 9: Confrontation
Drawing in a shaky breath, Dean headed out to find Lisa. He needed to get this shit over and done with, otherwise he'd never be happy and dammit, he deserved to be as happy as he could be in this shitty world.
For once, Dean wants to help himself, wants to allow himself happiness. All these years he'd been focusing on everyone else, on keeping Sammy safe, on keeping the camp safe. He honestly never thought he'd let himself love again.
Castiel changed that the moment he stepped foot into his camp.
Castiel raided Dean's mind and left an impression that would never disappear and he's in the process of fucking everything up with that man.
As he reached the women's cabin, he tried to calm his shaking hand to no avail. Giving in, he tapped lightly on the door, hoping no one would answer, so he could talk himself out of this.
To his dismay, the door opened slowly and revealed the dark haired woman he messed up. He watched as her eyes widened, flicking over his face. She seemed to realize this was serious and just nodded, inviting him in.
Entering the cabin, he was glad it was empty, he assumed people were flocking around the blue-eyed man who was teaching everyone new things. He couldn't help but wonder why Lisa wasn't there, but his eyes landed on the still body on the bed.
Ben.
Dean felt his heart race as he walked closer, he was only sleeping right? He knew he'd been sick lately but he didn't know how badly. Lisa seemed to notice the slight change in tension and she motioned for Dean to follow her to the back porch, to not disturb the boy.
Once they exited once again, not a word was said as they sat at the table. The tension was thick and guilt hung in the air. He was sure he was making Lisa uncomfortable, but she was being patient, letting Dean take his time.
After a very long, awkward silence, Dean opened his mouth and actually formed words.
"Is he okay?" His voice was small and you could tell he was terrified, worry was adamant in his face as his usually lovely features were crinkled.
Lisa watched him carefully as she glanced over to Ben. A small smile appeared on her face as she nodded.
"Yes. He's fine thanks to Castiel. Without him… I don't want to think about what would've happened. But he's not what you're here for is he?" Dean's body relaxed slightly, some of the tension weaved out of his body and he realized Ben was okay and Lisa wasn't going to be hostile.
"Ah yeah… Um." Dean scratched the back of his head as his green eyes avoided her brown eyes once again.
"I just… Okay, I'm not good at this stuff, but I've been fucking so much up lately that I really need to start fixing it. I just wanted to fix things between us. I want us to talk this shit out so we can be friends again." A sad smile fixed itself on her face.
"Dean, you are so stupid. I've forgiven you from the start. This is a shit world we live in and all I can do is thank God that Ben is still alive. None of this is your fault, and you need to start forgiving yourself if you want to fix anything. The whole reason our relationship has been weird is because you are too hard on yourself for what happened with Ben. I feel like shit that I let you degrade yourself so much over the years, but I'm glad you are finally accepting things and trying to change. You deserve to be happy."
Dean blinked a few times. He was honestly expecting Lisa to bitch him out for almost killing Ben. She was… understanding? Dean couldn't wrap his head around her sudden forgiveness. Their relationship had been shit since then, so he was sure she hated him.
Before Dean could open his mouth again, Lisa extended her hand out to him.
"Dean Winchester you are a wonderful man, and I know you'll always be like a father to Ben and I personally know you will always have a special place in my heart. Now it's your turn to go get what you want." Her eyes were sincere and Dean just bit his lip, gripping her hand, trying not to cry.
He really needed to fix things with Castiel.
One Week Later
A week had passed since the whole shit show with Castiel and since he made up with Lisa. He told himself each waking day that he was going to talk to the man, but he always deterred himself somehow.
He truly believed he didn't deserve Castiel, even though Lisa, and others, told him otherwise.
Dean was in a state of self-loathing as he rolled out of bed each morning, completing his routines all the while thinking of Castiel. It wasn't healthy and Sam kept bringing it up. He wasn't sleeping right nor was he eating right.
No leader should act like this.
Dean agreed 100% but he just couldn't bring himself to work harder. Part of him wanted to get so sick he'd be stuck in the first aid cabin for a few weeks, just to be near Castiel. Though he was certain that it'd be one of the girls tending him, since Castiel seemed to be avoiding him.
For the entire week, Dean had rarely even seen the man. The few times he had seen him, it was only glimpses of that messy hair, of those somber blue eyes. It drove Dean crazy because he knew that he was to blame for this.
He knew deep inside that he should seek the man out, talk things over with him. But every time, he found some lame ass excuse not to find him. The excuses ranged from not feeling well to just being pissy.
Wait. Where the hell was Cas staying?
Dean headed over to the men's cabin, knowing that Castiel would be in the first aid cabin right now, it's almost like he doesn't really leave.
Opening the door with a little more force than he meant, he caught everyone's attention, now giving him weird looks. Dean's eyes scoured the room and there was no sign of Castiel's belongings. Was he just staying in the first aid cabin?
"Is Castiel sleeping in here?"
The men in the cabin gave him dubious looks as one snickered, responding to the question.
"Nah man. That angel is staying in the first aid cabin probably because we couldn't stop ogling him."
Dean saw red for a moment. There were so many things wrong with what he said. First of all, angel? Really? Only Dean is allowed to call him that. His fists were balled against his sides as he was stuck on the fact they were ogling him.
"Ogling? What the fuck?"
The guys all shrugged and their eyes glazed over with lust.
"Yeah… Dude Castiel is so fucking hot. I mean have you seen those fucking hips? So slender… I can just imagine running my hands down his body. Fuck man. Those plump pink lips… What I'd do to have those wrapped around my dick. Fuck his tight hole hard. Can you imagine the sounds he'd ma-"
The man was cut off abruptly as Dean's fist collided with his face. Dean was seething. How dare they think such impure thoughts about his angel. The room instantly went quiet as Dean had to slow his breathing down.
"Dean what the fu-!" Dean cut him off abruptly, his voice bubbling with rage.
"Don't you dare talk about him that way. You so much as lay a fucking finger on him and I swear to whatever God is out there, you would wish you were a Croat. That applies to anyone."
The room was dead silent as the men looked at him with wide eyes. He made eye contact with every single one of them and made sure they knew he was serious.
"Dude it's not like Castiel is yours or anything so chill." The one who had been hit once was holding his cheek and glaring up at Dean.
A prominent frown appeared on Dean's face as he stood tall, towering over everyone.
"Do I look like I give a fuck? You touch him and I fucking swe-"
"Woah okay okay. Gotcha dude. Sorry, just calm down please?"
Dean took a deep breath and attempted to calm his snapped nerves, when he failed he just nodded to everyone and stormed out of the cabin. He needed something to calm himself down ASAP. His fists were just itching to hit something again.
He headed off toward his cabin, grabbing a few supplies he headed out to the cabin he'd made just in case the Croats invaded. It was a safe house for him and Sammy if they ever needed to bail. He hoped it wouldn't happen, but it was there.
Dean's mind was whirling with thoughts about Castiel and that fucking guy back at the cabin. What even was his name? Dean didn't want to think about it because his self-loathing was kicking in again. He pretty much put a claim on Cas back there and he couldn't take it back.
He just couldn't deal with what the guy was saying about the man he'd come to deeply care about. Dean knew that he was also guilty for having those thoughts, and even to have done it with said man.
Taking a few more deep breaths he entered the cabin and began pacing. He needed to sort through these feelings now.
Okay. So maybe he cared about Castiel, well he cared about Sam too, and Bobby, Kevin, Lisa, Ben, and everyone in camp. He knew he cared about Sam more than anyone because hey, they were brothers. But Dean was beginning to suspect he'd put Cas in the same category, but a different feeling of love.
Of course he loved Sam, and he knew he would forever, no matter what happened. But he thinks of Cas the way he thought of Lisa. The adoration, the way Cas made his heart race and ache, the way he was stupidly protective of the guy, and how he wanted nothing more than to be with him every aching minute.
He wanted Castiel. Not for his body (though that's a nice perk) but for his heart. It scared him to know that Castiel thought the exact same about him. He'd yelled it in his face enough times.
Relationships scare him.
Anything that has to do with emotions and feelings terrify him. Especially having to talk about it all. Just admitting in his head was hard enough. But he wasn't backing down on this feeling.
He was truly going to try for Castiel.
Castiel let out a sigh as he stripped his clothes off, stepping into the shower. He heard the women chattering behind him. He'd been showering in the women's cabin since he couldn't bring himself to go back to Dean and Sam's cabin.
He sadly wasn't able to stay in the men's cabin either because he honestly felt unsafe. Every time he'd change or go to shower, he could feel their eyes trailing down his body. It was uncomfortable and the only one he'd permit that to was Dean, but he wasn't admitting that either.
He'd also been sleeping in the first aid, the women's kindness could only go so far. He was still a man after all.
Another sigh escaped his lips as he scrubbed his body clean. He wanted to see Dean so badly, but he knew if he was the first to approach it wouldn't change anything. His heart ached as he thought about Dean.
When the he going to get his head out of his ass?
Watching him around camp, Castiel noticed his health was deteriorating along with his mood.
Finishing up his shower he dressed again and headed out towards the first aid cabin. Hearing a door slam from the direction of the men's cabin, he felt his heart beat pick up as possible danger loomed ahead.
To his surprise it was Dean storming out the cabin, obviously furious. What could have pissed him off to this point? Castiel quickened his pace, almost breaking out into a run. To his dismay Dean was long gone, so he entered the cabin to ask questions.
As soon as he entered the room tension filled the air. He scanned the room and noticed a few guys were shaking and one had a gnarly bruise on his face. It was the same guy who would occasionally cat call him when he entered the cabin.
"What happened?" His voice was quiet as he felt the guy glaring daggers at him.
"Dean freaked the fuck out because I complimented you." Castiel felt his heart ache for a moment as he bit his lip. It had to be more than that if Dean actually hit someone. He probably said lewd things about him, Castiel wasn't dense enough to not feel the lustful stares from the guy.
"But you're Dean's property I guess so you need to get the fuck out before he kills me." Castiel stood in shock for a moment but nodded and left the room. Dean was protecting him. Now why couldn't the guy just admit his feelings?
A few days later
The loud gong of the warning bell had woken Dean up with a start. What the hell? It couldn't be Croats, they haven't been this far out for a few months. No wait. This wasn't for Croats.
There were humans headed this way.
Rolling out of bed quickly, Dean heard Sam rumbling around as well. They quickly got their clothes on and grabbed their weapons as they dashed out of the cabin, glad to see everyone else doing the same.
Dean caught a glimpse of Castiel rushing out of the first aid cabin, his face fear-stricken. Dean wanted nothing more than to run over and assure Castiel nothing was going to happen to him. Not while he was alive anyway
Castiel awoke with a start just like everyone else that morning but he couldn't shake the fear that had stuffed itself in his gut. It couldn't be Michael could it? He definitely wouldn't come for someone as lowly as Castiel.
Everyone gathered in front of the gates with their weapons drawn as Rufus was in the watch tower, ready to snipe anyone who dared threaten them. Dean's eyes were glued on Castiel, who was absolutely terrified.
"Hey Cas? Come 'ere." Dean was proud of how his voice didn't waver, though he bit his lip hard when Castiel looked over at him. His big blue eyes shocked and scared.
This was the first time Dean had spoken to him voluntarily since the big fight. He hadn't gotten the balls to talk to him about his feelings yet.
Dean noticed that Cas was hesitating, though his resolve seemed to crumble as his gaze met Dean's.
Dean couldn't help but feel a tiny bit of electricity surge through him as they made eye contact. His heart beat rapidly against his chest as Cas made his way over.
"Dean I think it's Michael. I think he's come for me. I-I don't know what to do, I don't want to cause you guys any trouble but he scares me and I'm just so scared I don't know if I'd be able to fight if it came to it. I'm sorry I'm such a useless perso-"
Dean cut Castiel off as he pulled him in for a tight hug. He felt the man stiffen in his arms but he soon melted into Dean's embrace. Dean buried his face in Castiel's neck, speaking to him.
"If it is him, I won't let him lay a finger on you. I promise. I don't think I could let you go even if you wanted." Castiel snuggled into Dean's arms, the familiar scent of whiskey and aftershave that seemed to loom around Dean all the time.
Oh how he missed this.
"We need to talk after this." Dean mumbled into his neck as he pulled away, a small smile on his face. Castiel nodded and they both turned their attention to the gates opening ahead of them. Dean stood slightly in front of Castiel, as if he was protecting him from harm.
Castiel felt his heart ache, though it was soon replaced with fear as Michael came into view.
"Dean it's him." His voice shook and he watched Dean's face harden.
Dean slowly walked forward, Sam trailing behind him along with Castiel who was hesitantly following suit. Dean was now face to face with Michael and his group which consisted of the boy Samandriel, who looked absolutely terrified and holding his side as if he was wounded.
There was a short man who had golden brown hair, eyes matching, almost seeming golden. He wasn't threatening at all. He looked more worried than anything. His gaze flitted from him to Castiel, widening with relief.
There were two more with them, the first blond just looked like he was amused. Who the fuck would be amused in this situation? Dean nicknamed him Satan. Then there was another blond who was wearing a tight V-neck.
Who the fuck wore V-necks during the apocalypse?
Dean mentally noted to ask Castiel about Michael's 'posse' later.
Michael was glaring around at everyone, though when his gaze set on Castiel. The moment he opened his mouth Dean just wanted to slit his throat. He watched the very unsettling way he licked his lips and how his eyes inspected every part of Castiel's body.
"Well well. Finally found you, oh Castiel." His words slurred as they fueled the anger in Dean. Castiel was seemingly shrinking back, not wanting to deal with him.
"What the fuck do you want?" Dean interjected before Michael could say anything more to Castiel. Michaels gaze hardened as he met Dean's equally hard stare. A small smirk played on his lips as he also inspected Dean.
"I'm here for Castiel. He's been disobedient and I must bring him to his real home." Dean gritted his teeth at the way Michael so blatantly put him down, insinuating terrible things to come.
Breathing in, Dean took a step closer to Michael, so they were almost chest to chest, with Dean towering over him.
"You are one sick bastard you know that?" Dean taunted the smaller man. Though to his dismay, Michael just laughed. He fucking laughed.
"You must be Dean? Little Samandriel told me about you… How dare you corrupt my people! Samandriel was talking coherently. He's a monster that I've created and he has no right to talk back to me the way he did. He was spouting nonsense about leaving… Just like Castiel did. Dean Winchester, I will tear your family apart, oh wait, you don't have a family because you are worthless. You can't really save anyone, you're a lost cause who can't do shit."
Dean's fist was balled tight as he dug his nails into his palm. He was shaking and he was just about to jump the guy when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Whipping around his shaking green eyes met with those calm blue, though they were swirling with anger.
"Let me deal with this. Please." Dean was shocked and he was about to protest when Castiel pleaded again. He took a shaky breath and stepped back, glaring daggers at Michael.
If looks could kill Michael would be long gone already.
Castiel took a few steps towards Michael, whose eyes were now filled with shock, though the shock soon disappeared into an unreadable emotion. Castiel didn't get nearly as close as Dean, but you could tell he was upset, afraid.
Michael closed the small distance between them immediately and Dean had to hold himself back from lunging the guy. His lips were dangerously close to Castiel's ear as he began to whisper. Dean wanted to intervene so badly, but he trusted Castiel to handle this.
Michael's breath felt so wrong on Castiel's ear, and the words he spoke weren't pleasant either.
"Oh Castiel honey. When I get you home, and I will bring you back, I have a special punishment waiting for you. I'm going to beat you bloody, break that pretty face of yours. Gunna make you cry and beg for mercy. I'm going to fuck that tight hole of yours until all that's left is a gaping hole. Then I'm going to chain you in the basement so you can't ever leave again. You'd make a perfect sex slave."
Michael reached out and dragged his hands down the side of Castiel's body, lingering on his hips. Dean was about to shoot the guy but everyone froze when the sound of skin hitting skin echoed through the silence.
Castiel hit Michael.
Dean felt pride swell in him as Michael was frozen, his cheek slowly reddening from the force behind Castiel's hit.
"Wha-"
"Shut up." Everyone was stunned to silence, even Michael and his posse. He noticed the golden brown haired guy had a smile on his face.
"Michael you have no right to put any judgment on me! You have no right to tell me those horrible things when I haven't done anything wrong. I left on my own accord, I left because of you. You think I didn't miss my brothers? I care about everyone in that camp except for you. Why? Because you are a horrible leader, a terrible person. Who the fuck beats and tortures children? Who the fuck forces himself on someone who obviously doesn't want it? I have never consented to anything you did to me. I couldn't retaliate because I was scared. We shouldn't be scared of our leader. The one we look to for guidance. If you truly are a soldier of God, then I ask you, would God truly want the things you've done to us? You nearly killed Samandriel because God told you to. If that's true then I want nothing to do with him. God would never wish something as horrible as that to his own creations."
Michael was completely stunned, his hand was on his red cheek and he bit his lip, obviously at a loss for a response. Apparently happy with the lack of response, he turned towards his posse.
"Samandriel. You are not worthless. No matter what Michael has told you. You have deserved absolutely none of what you've received and I am so sorry that you had to endure all those years of torture. A child shoulder grow up having fun, being able to play with friends and just being silly. Granted the world we live in makes it difficult, but I regret letting you grow up the way you did."
Samandriel's eyes were wide as tears began to form in them. The boy was reduced to a quivering mess in a matter of seconds and ran at Castiel, arms wide. Castiel gladly took the boy into his arms, whispering soothing words to him and calming him down. After a while, the boy was crying no more and took Castiel's hand and stood against Michael.
Now his attention turned towards the golden brown haired man.
"Gabriel, do I even have to say anything to you?"
A proud smile was on Gabriel's face as he walked over and grabbed Samandriel's hand. Now they all looked over at the guy with the V-neck on.
"Balthazaar I know you have so much shit on your plate from what Michael's made you do, but you can make things right. I know you can." The two exchanged a look and Balthazaar shrugged and sauntered over, grabbing Castiel's hand.
The four of them stood against Michael, who only had Lucifer left on his side. Castiel wasn't even going to try to persuade him. The two were really close, tight-knit, but they also had their differences. Michael looked over to Lucifer with wide eyes.
"K-Knock some sense into them please!" Lucifer made eye contact, his face just a smug smile. There was a glint in his eye, as if he were enjoying this like it were a play. There was absolutely no tension or any signs of stress in this guy.
He was amused.
"Whatever. I'm out." Lucifer shoved his hands into his pocket and turned the other direction, heading God knows where. Michael let out a small noise of disbelief as he realized that he was completely alone now.
Everyone was now staring at him, their eyes hard and filled with hatred.
Especially Castiel's.
The silence was broken as Dean took a few steps forward again, now standing by Balthazaar. He didn't really like the way they were holding hands, but he decided that was for another time. It would be crazy inappropriate right now.
Now he felt Castiel's gaze turn on him, instantly softening from Michael to him. A mental victory celebrated in his head.
"So what're we going to do?" Castiel bit his lip and turned towards Michael.
"Just let him go."
"What?!" Dean came across harsher than he thought. He really wanted to beat the shit out of him.
"We should teach him a lesson, so he doesn't come back for you. You're not his anymore. You're mine." Fuck did he really just say that?
He watched Castiel's eyes go wide at the declaration and a soft blush appeared on his face. Castiel was about to speak when Michael cut them both off with a scoff.
"Tch. You're no better than me. We both want him in ways that we shouldn't, and you call me horrible." Michael laughed at him, causing Dean to instantly recoil away from Castiel, who began to reach out for him.
He's right. He's so fucking right it hurts. Dean was no different from Michael. He wanted the exact same things with Castiel, just not on such an extreme level. Biting his lip he cast his gaze to the ground.
To his surprise, he felt a hand on his chin, lifting it up to meet those clear blue eyes, swirling with emotion.
"Cas he's right." Dean managed to croak out, only loud enough for Castiel to hear though. A sad smile played on his lips as he cupped Dean's cheek.
"Dean. You are nothing like him. I swear to whatever God is out there. I actually care about you. I've fallen in love with you. I'd honestly want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with you. Everything we did was completely consensual on my part. I wouldn't have let you touch me if I thought you resembled Michael."
Dean was at a loss for words. He just wanted to kiss him, he was better at that then talking about his feelings. A smile played on Dean's face and he pulled Castiel in for a tight embrace, earning a gasp from the crowd.
"Finally got your balls back eh Dean?" Sam whooped for his brother. He couldn't have been happier for him at this moment. Maybe he'd actually allow himself happiness in life. Sam knew Castiel could give him the happiness he needed.
He turned his attention back to the group near them. The man with golden brown hair, Gabriel, he thinks, is staring back at him. His almost golden eyes were piercing as they met his burning hazel. The two exchanged smiles as they turned their attention to the main event.
Dean was about to lean in and kiss Cas, cuz fuck it, he deserved at least this, when suddenly he saw Michael collapse.
To his dismay, Castiel quickly ran over, his face laced with concern as his hands checked various spots on Michael's body. Dean couldn't help but feel overprotective as he watched his Castiel touch that fiend.
"Just let him be, who cares what happens to the fucker." Dean was shocked when he was met with an angry stare, he watched as Castiel propped him up, calling Andrea and Lisa to help him get to the first aid cabin.
What the fuck was Cas doing?
Dean couldn't comprehend how he could be so caring and considerate to someone who pretty much raped him. He kept his mouth shut as he followed the group. From the corner of his eye he noticed Sam and Gabriel levitating toward each other, starting casual conversation.
About a half hour later, Castiel emerged from the first aid cabin, as he wasn't letting anyone in other than the women who worked with him. Dean raised his eyebrows in questioning. When he didn't get a response from Castiel he silently panicked inside.
Did he fuck everything up already? He knew it would be too good to be true. Though his face was stoic his insides were twisting painfully on him. He didn't even get a chance to tell him about his feelings.
Dean was brought back to reality when a hand was placed on his shoulder. His vision focused shakily on the blue eyed man in front of him. His eyes must've widened in response because Castiel was tilting his head in question.
"Dean are you okay?" Those simple words broke him inside. He couldn't find words to say as he just cast his gaze to the ground again. He'd been doing that a lot today hasn't he? Once again he felt a cool hand on his chin bringing him up.
"Dean. What's wro-" Dean hastily cut him off by pressing his lips gently against Castiel's. The man receiving completely froze for a few moments and Dean was afraid that he fucked up again, but was pleasantly surprised when Castiel returned the kiss with gusto.
The two parted and Dean immediately longed for more, but he just pressed his forehead against the other.
"How is douchebag in there?" A smile spread across Castiel's face as he pecked Dean lightly.
"He's really sick, I don't know how the others didn't notice. But then again, we didn't notice till he collapsed. He's showing symptoms for the Croatoan virus right now, so would you help me take him to the safe house? I reduced his fever and will continually give him treatments while he's in the safe house."
Dean was a little shocked that Michael was that sick, that Cas considered the Croat virus a possibility. He just nodded as he walked in the building with Castiel. Michael was sleeping, so at least they didn't have to deal with him while he was awake. Dean wasn't sure he'd be able to hold back if he said some stupid comment to him or Castiel again.
The two lugged Michael to the safe house and asked Sam, who now had a Gabriel attached to his hip, just to keep watch over him for the next few hours.
Dean and Castiel were in dire need of a serious talk.
After parting with Sam and Gabriel, the pair headed towards their cabin in silence. Once they reached their destination, Dean held the door open for Castiel, though he refused to look up from the ground.
Dean could feel his heart beating rapidly in his chest as he felt cool fingers on his chin, lifting his gaze up, meeting with ocean blue eyes. He was so beautiful, though the look in his eyes was pained. Before even thinking, Dean blurted out, "I'm sorry."
Castiel tilted his head slightly, doing his squinty eye thing that Dean's come to like so much. Dean only said two words and it feels like he just bared his soul to the man. "Dean, you don't think you deserve me do you?"
Bingo.
Castiel's words hit Dean's heart with impact. He was right. Dean didn't think he deserved any of this. Michael called him worthless, and he wasn't far from the truth. Dean's gaze drifted to the ground again, and his self-loathing skyrocketed.
"Yeah. I really don't deserve you Cas. You are perfect. Why would a worthless man like me deserve someone as perfect as you?" Dammit his voice cracked and he could feel Castiel's stare boring into him. God dammit.
Raising his gaze a little, he finally noticed how close they were. They were standing mere inches apart, one small step would bring their bodies flush together, a slight tilt of the head would bring their lips together. Dean couldn't help licking his lips as he tried to avoid Castiel's gaze.
"Dean." Castiel's voice was broken, causing Dean to snap his head up meeting his gaze. Those blue eyes he'd fallen for were swirling with sadness. He couldn't find any words so they just stared at each other, waiting for the next move.
Castiel let out a sigh and opened his mouth a few times, only to close them. He was fighting for words to say. Words that would help Dean, reassure him that he isn't worthless and that Castiel loves him so much it hurts his heart.
"I love you Dean. I don't… I don't know how to make you believe me, but I love you with all of my heart, ever since you allowed me into your camp, I felt my heart aching at the sight of you. You are so strong for everyone, never giving yourself a chance to be weak. I've was mesmerized by your eyes the moment we met, I adore your bravery and how protective you are of everyone, even Ben and Lisa, when you obviously had a strained relationship with them. You are so courageous and all you care about is saving everyone else, you don't care what happens to you in the crossfire because you don't think you'd be missed. Well for one, I don't think I could live without you. You've done so much for me, in terms of my baggage and Michael. That day we had that big fight, I decided that if you couldn't love me the way I love you, then that was okay. All I wanted as to be by your side. I want to help you. I want to love you. I've fallen hopelessly in love with you, Dean Winchester."
Castiel reached his hand out, barely brushing their hands together. Dean feels the light contact and reached for more. His hand grabs Castiel's, despite his hand shaking. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, soon meeting Castiel's gaze with fear coursing through his veins.
"I… God damn Cas. I have so much fucking baggage that I don't want to force you to sort through. I'm scared Cas. After what happened with Lisa I…" He choked for a moment, trying to hold back a sob. "I just fuck thing up constantly, I just… You mean the world to me so I don't want to fuck you up."
"Dean I'm already fucked up." Castiel replies with a bitter smile, though he squeezed Dean's hand along with it.
Dean finally takes a moment the look at Castiel. He'd been avoiding it for a while now, since he got urges he was afraid to act on, but now he just took in the man's appearance.
Castiel was still really pale, even from working outside gathering things. He was unbelievably skinny, which wasn't uncommon these days but Dean wanted to put more meat on that body. His eyes were swirling with so many emotions as he waited for Dean to decide. He had a slight stubble from not shaving that morning. His lips were chapped, but plump and inviting, luring Dean in.
"Fuck it." Dean muttered and closed the distance between himself and Castiel. He wasn't going to deny himself the simple pleasures anymore. The moment his lips met Castiel's, everything felt right in the world.
Castiel froze for a moment, but soon melted into the kiss, which turned into many small kisses. Dean mumbled Castiel's name in between their kisses. Dean let himself go as his arms wrapped around the smaller man's waist, trying to bring him even closer.
The body contact felt grand and he couldn't imagine how it would feel flesh on flesh. Dean shivered as he licked Castiel's bottom lip, asking for entrance. When he was immediately granted entrance, he smiled into the kiss, his tongue exploring Castiel's mouth, lazily playing with his tongue.
They pulled away, but their foreheads were touching and both were breathing a bit heavier than they should after a kiss. Dean sighed and pecked his lips once more, "I love you to Cas, though I don't show it and I'm bad with feelings. I love you more than anything. You are my angel. You are my light in this darkened world."
Castiel felt his heart ache as Dean spoke so lovingly to him. He buried his face in Dean's neck, trying to will back the tears that were threatening to spill. He was brought back to reality when Dean's hands begin wandering.
His hands slowly rubbed his back, calming him, though sometimes his hand would travel a little farther and touch his ass. Castiel smiled into Dean's neck as he tilted his head and kissed Dean's neck, nibbling lightly on the skin, earning a shiver from Dean.
Castiel allowed his hands to creep up Dean's shirt, running his hands over his defined muscles. Dean let out a shaky breath as he pulled Castiel's head back up, his eyes slowly darkening from lust. He quickly slipped Castiel's shirt over his head, then his own.
Pressing their bodies together, Dean lead a trail of kisses down Castiel's neck, sucking bruises into his skin, marking him as his own. He couldn't get over how amazing it felt to be touching Castiel like this.
His own personal angel.
Castiel was getting a bit antsy as Dean was just nuzzling his neck now. His pants were tight and it was getting very uncomfortable as of now. He could also feel Dean's own erection rubbing against his thigh.
"Dean." His voice was gravelly and lust filled, causing Dean to bite his neck, earning a yelp from the other man. Dean grinned into his neck as he slowly pushed Castiel backwards, until he fell backwards on the bed, surprise filling his beautiful face.
He didn't fight as Dean scooted him so he was comfortably positioned on the bed before his lips captured the others again, while they both fumbled to set themselves free. The moment Dean felt Castiel's cool hands on his side, he let out a short moan.
Castiel quickly grabbed his pants and yanked them off with grace, which Dean didn't think was possible, while he fumbled with Castiel's pants. Getting frustrated, Dean yanked them off with very little grace, though he felt accomplished when he noticed the tent, not that he didn't have one himself.
Dean reached over and pulled his boxers off with care, finally admiring the fully naked man. He didn't let himself appreciate him last time, so he was taking everything in, just in case the world went to more shit tomorrow.
Hearing a whine from below him, he smirked as he trailed his hands gently down Castiel's torso, tweaking a nipple, earning another delicious moan from him. His hands continued farther down, though avoided the spot that wanted the most attention.
After a while of teasing, Dean suddenly grabbed Castiel's member and gave it a few strokes before leaning over and kissing the tip. Castiel choked in surprise, he barely held back coming for a moment.
"Dean," he hissed, "Give me a warning before you do something like that. I almost came and we haven't hit the main course yet." Dean smiled as he slowly took Castiel's cock into his mouth, swirling his tongue around the tip. After a few hollow sucks, he pulled off with a pop, stroking his own member a few times to give himself some ground.
Dean reached over Castiel, fumbling around in a drawer to his side, finding the lube. Once he found it, he groaned at the sight of Castiel spreading his legs for Dean, face flushed with want.
"Fuck Cas, so sexy. Baby wanna be inside you already. Been dreaming so long." Dean's sentences were no longer full or coherent. His sex drive was fully powered as he squirted lube onto his fingers, warming them up a little before circling Castiel's entrance gently.
"Alright baby, relax." Castiel tensed for a moment at the contact, but relaxed as his gaze met Deans. Slowly, he pushed his finger in, earning more groans from Castiel. Once his finger was fully inside, he pushed in and out a few times before adding another finger.
Once he was two fingers in, he thrust shallowly and scissored, earning more needy moans from Castiel.
"Dean I need you now." Dean groaned at how sexed out Cas sounded already, and they haven't even gotten to the main event yet. He nodded vigorously as he placed a pillow beneath his hips, then squirted lube on his aching cock, giving a few strokes to warm it up.
Slowly, he lined himself up with Cas and slowly pushed in, groaning loudly himself. Once he bottomed out, he moaned at the tight heat wrapped around his cock. Castiel was also writhing beneath him, trying to push himself back on Dean's cock.
Chuckling, Dean leaned over and kissed Castiel chastely. "Calm down baby. I got you." Dean mumbled as he pulled out, slowly pushing back in. He continued his thrusts lazily as his Castiel moaned out, pushing his hips down, meeting Dean's thrusts.
"Harder… Dean please…" Castiel moaned out and Dean wasn't sure he could handle anymore, so he gripped Castiel's cock as he thrusted hard into him, stroking Cas in time with his thrusts.
Castiel was the first to come as he shouted Dean's name a few incoherent sentences, streaks of come painting both of their chests. Dean's hips stuttered as Cas yelled his name out, causing him to release inside of Castiel.
Dean lazily thrusted, riding out his orgasm until he was good, pulling out and plopping neck to Castiel on the bed, his arms still around the man. Neither said anything as they kissed gently. They lazed around for a few, kissing here and there until the come on their bodies became uncomfortable.
"Let's go shower." Dean got up, helping Castiel up as well, keeping his arm around his waist as they wandered to the showers, cleaning up nicely before exited and changing their sheets as well. The two lay back on the bed, just simple cuddling.
Dean's never felt so content, so happy with where things are right now. He has the love of his life in his arms, who isn't going anywhere, at least he wants to think that right now, and he has his camp, safe and sound.
"What's the future look like for us Dean?" Dean nuzzled into Castiel's neck as he thought of his reply.
"I don't know Cas. With the world as is, we just have to take it day by day. We can probably send Michael back if he's okay, and we can be allies, despite how I feel about him, he knows a lot more than we do. We'd just have to monitor him. We can recruit a few people to, like Samandriel."
"What about Gabriel and Balthazaar? I promise they won't cause trouble. Well, big trouble. Both of them are silly, but serious when it's needed, and I think Gabriel took a liking to Sam." Dean let out a chuckle as he thought about Sam and the shorter man.
Whatever.
"As long as they don't cause too much trouble. Besides, I don't want you to be unhappy."
Castiel just stared at Dean, a small smile taking over his face.
"Ah. I know this might not be a good time, but Michael had a few problems with another camp who lived not too far from him. His name was Azazel and he would always come and try to raid us, or steal a bunch of our people. So we should ask Michael about it when he's better."
His voice didn't waver as he was certain that Michael would be okay. They had enough knowledge they could prevent the spread if it was inside him. He'd have to keep a close eye on him.
"We got this, I think we can handle anything as long as we're together." Dean's eyes softened as they landed on the icy blue of Castiel's eyes.
The two got up and wandered about the camp for a while, hand in hand, just checking on everyone. They visited Sam, who really did have Gabriel attached to him, talking animatedly about something, all the while with a sucker in his mouth. Sam truly looked interested and a shy smile was plastered on his face.
It kinda weirded Dean out, but he shrugged, whatever, not his problem right now. Deciding against stopping to chat, Dean and Cas continued about the camp, not worrying about anything to come in the distant future.
Fin
A/N: God guys I'm so sorry it took so long to get this chapter out, but its extra long for the absence! I almost split it into two chapters, but felt like I'd be prolonging it. Also, there will be a sequel though I can promise no start date yet, it will focus mostly around Sam and Gabriel, as the new camp will pose a bigger threat for the two (: Thanks for hanging with me throughout this! I will definitely keep writing Destiel, and possibly some Sabriel, but I'm just so motivated to write so many things! But mostly one shots hahaha. Anyway, please R&R! Reviews/Favorites/Follows really feed my writing spirit! C: Thanks again!