«Can I come?» Ella asked as I got ready to go to the doctor.
"It's just the results, just paperwork" I objected. I didn't think I could handle having an audience. I wasn't quite sure why; I knew I'd be sad if it was negative, but I was really freaked out – how was I going to tell Derek? Oh my god. What if Derek didn't want this yet? Would he ask me to not go through with it. I felt my breakfast on its way back up as I ran to the kitchen sink. Urgh.
"You're sick, I'll drive you" Ella insisted as she pulled the keys out of my hand. I gargled water and hoped to God that was the last round of upchuck reflexes this morning.
"OK. But not a word to anyone no matter what the results are, OK?" I warned.
"You know you're going to have to tell Derek right? Where is he by the way?" she asked.
"He took Charlie out for a walk" I answered. "I'll text him that we'll be out for a little while" I said as I opened the front door.
"Ms. Hallock?" a woman in a white nurse suit looked at me. She looked so familiar. "Evelyn?" she asked raising her eyebrows.
"Mrs. McCall? How are you?" I hugged her. She looked a bit distracted, there was loneliness in her eyes, I could see that this last year had been heavy for her. I wonder whether or not she knows about Scott – maybe she just thinks he's on drugs or something, steroids maybe..
"I'm just feeling a little under the weather, think Ella has caught it too, just want to check that it's not too serious" I lied when she asked if everything was alright.
"Pants on fire" Ella whispered to me as we walked into the doctor's office.
"Ms. Hallock. How are you feeling?" the man in the white coat asked. "Please, sit down" he motioned to both myself and Ella. "I have your results" he continued. "Congratulations, Ms. Hallock, you are expecting" he smiled widely. I bit back the urge to throw up right there in that room.
"W-what happens now?" I asked like a oblivious child. Ella reached for my hand, and held it tightly.
"Erh, well it's normal procedure to have a check-up once a month, I'll have the nurse give you some brochures.." he said. "No! N-no, I'd really prefer that you give them to me. I'm n-not really telling anyone yet" I tried to explain.
"Oh, yes, of course, but, well you might want to tell your partner? He might want to be here for your next appointment – with ultrasound" he looked at me questioningly.
"Yes, I'll tell him" I said as I took the brochures he dug out from the bottom of his drawer.
"Are you going to tell him tonight?" Ella asked as we walked out of the hospital. She was still beaming from the news, and as far as I know I was too, but tears were falling the whole time.
"Oh God, Ella" I cried. My knees got weaker and I had to lean against the car. "I can't do this. Derek's is going to flip. I can't lose him" I felt sick. Ella put her arms around me, and we stood there for what seemed like an eternity. She opened the door, and returned to the driver's seat.
I knew Ella thought I was nuts, I knew that she thought Derek wanted this life, because he told me he wanted me, and wanted what I wanted, but I also knew that Derek wasn't the father type. How many Dads wear leather jackets and go around threatening teens? Sure that was before we moved to town, but I knew he was still that big bad wolf. This baby thing was just going to prove me right – and I really didn't need that. I'd done the whole trust issues thing before, I've had those men in my life who told me it would all be OK, and then it wasn't – and just for once I wished this could be the real thing. I thought the supernatural would be the real thing. And that thought sounded like a bad joke when I really analyzed it. Which was what I was forced to do when this situation arose.
"You good?" she whispered standing by the foot of the stairs.
"Mhm, I just need some rest" I smiled. I felt exhausted by the thought of the next few days. I was going to have to muster every ounce of confidence in my body for this announcement.
"You have to tell him.. The sooner the better" Ella whispered before disappearing up the stairs.
"Tell me what?" Derek interrupted my fears. "What's up?" he smiled wearing a tight black t-shirt.
"Oh nothing, I'm just really tired. I-I'm.. I'm sick, got the flu" I lied. For whatever reason I thought I'd be able to withstand that lie without further questioning.
"Evelyn, what's going on?" he asked. "You haven't really been acting like yourself.. And you feel... I mean I feel you. And you don't feel like yourself" he continued. Of course I didn't feel like myself, I was myself plus a little more.
"Derek.." was all I could utter before blacking out.
. . .
"Evy, Evy, wake up" I could hear Ella's worried voice. "How do you feel? Are you- are you in pain? Is it.. Is it the flu?" she asked carefully. Was Derek in the room? The flu? What was she talking about? Oh my God, I understood what she meant. What was wrong? Was something wrong with me? With the..
"Evelyn? What's wrong?" Derek was leaning over me.
"Oh my God. What happen?" I cried as I rushed to sit up. My head was spinning too quickly for me to think straight, but all I knew was that I was scared. Scared about losing what I'd just been given. Scared of losing this feeling that I'd had these past days that I was more than just me. Of losing this thing that might risk my relationship to Derek, but I need this, I can't lose it. I just can't.
"Ella. Ella we need to go, I need to check" I was crying, shouting, slightly crazed.
"I've already called" Ella assured as I stood up. "I'm sure you're OK, I'm sure it's nothing" Ella comforted as tears kept streaming down my face.
"What is going on? Who have you called, Ella?" Derek interrupted. "What's wrong?" he yelled when no one answered him. I followed my sister's eyes on Derek and we stared at him for a moment.
"I've called Evelyn's doctor. We need to see him" Ella said shifting her gaze from him to the floor.
"Look, I know you said you were going to your pack, but could you just watch Charlie for a while?" Ella wore a responsible voice this time, more responsible than I'd ever heard her.
"No, no of course not" Derek was pissed. "I have the right to know what the fuck is going on here" he shouted, but supported my body at the same time.
"Derek, I'll tell you" I was crying again. "I'll tell you, I just have to know if there's still anything to tell" I cried even harder now.
"OK. But I'm coming with you, I'll take you" he said leading me towards the door. "Ella, could you stay with Charlie?" it sounded like Derek was pleading at this point.
"I'll meet you there, his nap is over soon, I'll be there in not too long" she confirmed.
"Ms. Hallock, your sister said it was an emergency. What happen?" the doctor asked when we entered the office.
"I blacked out, and I don't know what happen, I just. I need to know what's going on" I said nervously. I could feel Derek's eyes on me.
"OK, let's not jump to conclusions yet. I think we'll move that ultrasound appointment to right now" he said as he led us towards another room. "If you could just lie down and try to calm yourself I'll get a nurse to bring in the monitor" he said. Derek was still standing beside me, looking even more confused than earlier. At this point I couldn't even feel the fear of his reaction – it didn't even matter.
A nurse pushed a little screen into the room. "Could you lift your blouse a little?" she smiled.
The chill of the blue gel on my stomach reached my back momentarily. "Try to relax" the nurse comforted. She slid a remote across my belly searching for answers.
The reassuring sound of a strong beat allowed me to breathe. "Just as I thought" the doctor smiled. "You are fine, your child is fine. This is not as uncommon as most people think. Mothers get excited, stressed, scared and forget to calm themselves down. Just take it easy, remember to eat and drink well" he comforted. "And that there" the doctor pointed at the screen, "that's your little one" he smiled. "I'll give you two a moment" he said as he and the nurse disappeared out the door. I stared at the screen and tried to focus on the little dot. That was my dot. That was Derek's dot too.. I focused my eyes on him slowly. He was still staring at my exposed belly.
"Derek?" I wasn't really sure if I wanted a response. I pulled down my blouse. His eyes shot up from my stomach to my face in a split second. "Please don't rip my throat out" I tried to laugh. Really, really, sincerely bad time to pull a werewolf joke. I'd never understood the line about eyes penetrating your soul before now. "Derek" I was a bit less confident now. "Derek, please say something" I pleaded.
"Here you are" the doctor walked in holding a picture of the sonogram.
"Thank you, erh.. We'll be off then" I said as I took Derek's hand and tugged it.
He turned off the ignition and stepped out of the car. "Derek, you have to speak to me. You have to say something" I said as we walked towards the door.
"I? I have to say something?" he raised his voice. "You are the one who has kept this from me" he continued.
"Derek, it's not like that. I only found out today, really. I mean I took the tests, but this morning, I went to the doctor and had it confirmed" I babbled.
"Why couldn't you tell me when you took the test? Or when you suspected that you had to take a test at all?" he yelled. My tears were racing towards the ground now. "W-why are you crying?" Derek's voice softened.
"Why are you yelling?" I barked back, I tried to prepare myself for his reaction, but he has no reason to be angry with me. "All you have to do is leave. You have no right to be angry. It's not like this happened all by my own doings" I screamed.
"What the hell are you talking about?" Derek seemed genuinely confused. "I'm not pissed because you're pregnant, Evelyn. What the hell? I'm pissed because I thought you were sick for Christ sake" he yelled.
"Your body felt different, I've never felt that before, besides you and Ella were whispering about telling me something, and you've been reeking of fear the past days" he said. I felt an overwhelming relaxation soar through my body.
"I-I was scared of how you'd react" was all I could mutter. "And rightfully so" I whispered to myself.
"Evelyn, what is there to be scared about? I already promised my life to you. So our life together is starting a little sooner than planned, so what?" he said. I didn't really know how to react. "Let's just go inside. You need to get some sleep" he said as he opened the door.
"Evy? I got your text telling me not to come. What happened?" Ella asked as she rushed towards me.
"Nothing, it's all good. See" I showed her the picture.
"Is that my little niece or nephew?" she made a childish voice. "So everything is good?" she asked shifting her eyes towards Derek. He snapped the picture out of her hands and studied it carefully.
"What? I didn't have a chance to see it on the monitor" he answered Ella's annoyed look.
"It's your picture you can stare at it all you want when I'm done" Ella snapped it back.
"My kid, my picture, my rules" Derek grabbed the picture and ran into the living room. Ella ran after him stretching for the picture. My heart skipped a beat when I heard him say "my kid". It was finally sinking in. We were going to have a kid. Together.
"I'm going to take a nap" I called at the two as I walked up the stairs. I was barely awake by the time my head hit the pillow.
It was dark outside when I finally opened my eyes. I had this funny feeling, like a feather being brushed against my skin. "What are you doing?" I asked surprised to find Derek on one elbow with his other hand softly caressing my stomach (which was bare at this point).
"I didn't mean to wake you" Derek said awkwardly, momentarily sitting up in the bed.
"You didn't.. How long have you been in here?" I asked.
"Not long.. " he stared at my belly.
"You're lying" I laughed as I threw a pillow at him. He responded by meeting my lips in one swift movement. He pulled back and rested his head on the pillow next to mine.
"Are you scared?" he asked me. His gaze was intense.
"No, not really. Not anymore. I'm more excited than scared" I answered. "But you are" I said placing my hand on his heart.
"No I'm not" he blushed. He actually turned rather pinkish. I had to giggle – I mean I'd never imagined Derek ever blushing. "OK, a bit. I'm going to be a father. Holy shit" he whispered.