Jai

Under Leon's calm and caring hand, I was back to my usual cheery self in no time at all. He continued to get very little sleep, staying a constant vigil at my bedside, even when I would scream at him to go to bed. Even then, he would try to busy himself, calling it "medical research", but I could see through him. It reminded me of all those times we'd find ourselves incredibly bored in high school, before we joined the academy. Leon would pretend to be reading, when instead he would be fiddling with his watch, trying to configure it to shoot lasers.

My stomach wound was almost completely gone. Leon was both appalled and amazed by the lack of scar tissue on my abdomen. I would try to convince him that the alien healing solution had worked perfectly, just as he had figured, but it would only launch him into a guilty frenzy. He would curse himself in Chinese, words that would have gotten his mouth slapped by his overbearing mother.

Grant visited often, usually to relieved Leon from his post. The tension between the two men had only increased, given that Leon almost never wanted to leave my side; the nagging of just one wasn't enough, when Grant began, Leon finally caved in. It wasn't that he didn't trust Grant, he just got prissy whenever Grant and I were alone together. But he had nothing to worry about. Aside from some adorable kisses, we would just sit and talk. He had a way of wrapping me around his finger with his words so much so that I almost completely forgot about what Leon had told me.

Almost.

I tried to forget about it, about the small glimpse of a reflection in the glass that I had seen. I convinced myself that I was simply seeing things, there was no way Grant would lie to me. But in the dead of night, when no one was around to expect me to be chipper or laugh at their bad jokes, I would look at the ceiling and think about what I had seen. Some nights I would cry. I missed my family, my friends, my fellow Hydra agents. Usually I would tell myself to put on a brave face, like I always did. But when I was alone in my room, I let the walls fall down. No one had seen me like this, not even Leon. Lately, my feelings had been directed towards the girl in the reflection.

There were also the visions. I would often try to keep myself awake because I knew if I drifted off to sleep, my slumber would be tormented with the visions. The first couple nights it would happen, Grant and Leon would have to restrain me. They were confused by my symptoms, and even more confused when I would tell them about what I saw when I closed my eyes: green lines and circles against a backdrop of sheer nothingness. After a few nights, Leon decided not to restrain me, and instead of convulsing, I sat up, and began to scribble my visions on a napkin with a felt pen. Only Leon and I had seen what I had drawn; Leon didn't want to show Grant until he knew exactly what it was.

"How do we know we can trust him with this information?" he ranted.

I scoffed at the absurd thought. "It's just Grant. He only wants the best for me."

It was Leon's turn to scoff.

"You still think he's stowing a girl on the plane?" I asked, trying to sound confident in the falsity of my statement.

"I just don't want your feeling to get hurt, Jai," he responded sincerely. He would flip his jet black hair which was getting way too long and turn back to his work. Leon's suddenly unshakable interest in me both flattered and aggravated me. Why did he suddenly find me irresistible when I was currently unavailable? He did not seem so keen to care when he invited me on his date with Petra.

Gosh, that date felt like eons ago. Back before our laboratory was blown to bits, before I was injected with alien serum. Thought I feared that it was true, part of me knew that things would never go back to the way they were.I would often reminisce about these days, but then Leon would remind me of the adventure that lay before us. We had both spoken of our desire to be field agents, and now the time had come.

The time had also come for me to be discharged from Leon's intensive care. He seemed extremely hesitant, asking me again and again if I was feeling any pain. Even if I did, I wouldn't have told him. I had been in a bed for weeks, and I yearned to stretch my short legs and have the sun shimmer on my almond eyes. Also showers, I couldn't wait to take a real one.

"Take it slowly," warned Leon, as I pushed the covers off, exposing my pale legs. In my younger days, kids would make fun of me for being so short, and I wished I could have the long legs of the Asian supermodels in my magazines. But I never grew, which is why my little apendages had to stretch to reach the cold linolium. I shuddered as my big toe grazed the floor, sending a sensation through my leg. "You don't have to do this now if you don't want to, Jai."

"No," I hissed. I hooked my right arm around Leon and my bed supported the rest of me. It felt so good to get circulation to my legs again, even if they were extremely weak. The fragile limbs wobbled, but with each step I started relying less on Leon and more on myself. Soon, I walked from one end of the room to the other with little assistance.

"That's amazing!" marveled Leon. "Your progress is incredible."

"I want to show Grant," I said excitedly. Leon's expression turned graven.

"Jai, don't you think that, since you're able to walk again, you might want to clear the air once and for all?"

I tried to giggle off Leon's suggestion. Of course I wanted to ask Grant, but inside, I felt like I would be betraying him. For all I knew, Leon could just be making the scenario up in his head. Grant would question where I would get such a preposterous idea, and when I'd tell him of Leon's influence, he'd think I didn't trust him anymore.

I sighed. "I want to, I just don't know how."

"Just go up and ask him."

"It's not that simple," I groaned.

Leon put one of his firm hands on my shoulder and looked me in the eyes through his ebony, whispy bangs. "If you don't find out now, what happens if you stumble across her on the ship, huh? It would be embarressing for all of you."

My eyes widened. He's right!

"If you confront him now, give him a chance to explain himself, everything will be better in the long run," he smiled. "And if I'm wrong, there's no way Grant can dislike me more than he does now." I looked to the ground, why did he have to be so convincing? "C'mon, Jai, it's for the best."

I let out a long, exasperated sigh. "I supposed you're right."

"Of course I am! Now move along!"

Funny how before, Leon was begging for me to stay in the comforts of the sick bay, but now he was urging me to not only leave, but leave to go see Grant. I was left with suspicion on the forefront of my mind, but it was quickly pushed back when I found Grant in the cockpit.

Just seeing Grant was enough to make me giddy. His cropped dark hair showed off his need for order and his smooth eyes seems to look past the superficial in everyone he talked to. Everytime he'd hold me near, I could feel his muscles through his shirt. Sometimes I dance my fingers around his biceps and, if I really got lucky, his fierce trapezius. When he'd hold me, I felt like nothing would be able to hurt me ever again, I was safe and always would be.

When he saw me perched in the frame of the cockpit, I expect him to run to me, sweep me in his arms, shower me in kisses. But instead, all I got was a "oh, hello Jai." My expectant smile faded.

"What's going on here?" I inquired, giggling flirtatiously.

He didn't get my obvious advances and turned back to the flashing buttons of the plane. "Nothing of interest, just wanted to make a quick stop."

"Oh," I mumbled. I sat in the co-pilot spot and kicked my legs over the side, a maneuver I had never performed but hoped would get Grant's attention. I was unsuccessful.

After sitting in silence and observing the clouds for several minutes, I remember my mission. I decided to bring the topic up slowly.

"So," I said, slowly, "why do we need to stop?"

Grant shrugged. "Just picking up some supplies."

"Can I come?"

He smiled one of his most deboneer smiles. "You can hardly walk, let alone carry groceries."

I pressed. "Well someone should help you."

"Who, Leon?" he laughed, and I muttered a pity giggle.

"You're going in without any help?"

Grants laughing subsided. "Yes, Jai. Is there a problem?"

I sighed, looking to the floor. "Just tell me that there's no one else that you're going with."

He seemed stunned, but he did a good job at hiding it. I may have not noticed it if I wasn't a trained Hydra agent. Many believed that us biochemists were weak and defenseless. But when we were in the academy, Leon and I took a psychology class together and I learned a lot about physical cues. Now, Grant wasn't fidgeting or looking around the room quickly, he was too well training for amatuer things like that. But I noticed his throat, bobbing up and down with each swallow. It would clench and relax, a tell-tale sign of nervousness. "What are you talking about?"

"Just say it," I said firmly, staring into his eyes, hoping he would cave.

Instead, he just shook his head and laughed. "Leon's been telling you stories, huh? Stories about how I'm this big bad guy, right?" He slammed his fist on the control panel, hitting the metal. I jumped. "Leon doesn't know what I've been through. He has no idea what S.H.I.E.L.D. has done to me and yet he dares question my loyalty."

My fingers stroked his forearm. "It's not Leon's fault." We paused for a while, I figure it was better to let Grant calm down before I pressed for more answers. "What did they do to you?"

"They destroyed the only love I had in my life. The closest thing I had to a father…" he whispered, choking up. "There were others I was close to, but they were also ripped out of my grasp."

"Oh Grant," I whimpered. "I had no idea."

He bit his lip. "Ever since, I've been trying to find ways to get back at S.H.I.E.L.D."

I suddenly felt ashamed and I dropped my head, the raven locks of my hair falling in front of my face. "I'm so sorry. I should have never questioned your loyalty to Hydra."

He sighed, but pulled my chin up to meet his. "You don't need to be sorry," he whispered, sending warm sensations through my body. "We can fufil our duties as Hydra agents and bring S.H.I.E.L.D. down once and for all." I nodded, and Grant pulled my face close. He pushed his lips against mine, and I felt myself melt into his presence. I wasn't thinking straight, and when we finally pulled away, I was on a cloud.

"So you have a plan?"

He nodded. "It's why I've been making all these stops. Kara and I-"

What?

We both stared at each other. Grant knew he had messed up, and he in no way tried to hide it. My breathing came short.

"Kara?" I demanded.

"She's no one, just a girl who has been helping me!"

I stood up, my chest beginning to feel heavy with every breath I forced into them, My legs started to feel unstable and I prayed that they wouldn't give out, I couldn't look weak in front of him. "You lied to me." He said nothing, but instead, waited to see how I'd react. "You've been lying this whole time! About everything!" I was screaming. "I can't believe I was so stupid as to actually believe you! Everytime Leon would tear you down, I would defend you to my last breath! I felt for you, Grant Ward!" My vision started to fade with the hot tears welling up in my eyes. "I bet you're not even an actual Hydra agent! I bet it was you who blew up our lab! You hurt me! You ruined my life!" I felt a pressure building up in my chest, like a volcano waiting to explode. How could he do this to me? Looking back on it, I realized that I had fell into the net that was his charm, and I hated myself for it. I glared at Grant, channeling all my pent up frustration. "I HATE YOU!" I bellowed, and I felt a sensation that could only be described as a snap. Suddenly, all the pressure that had been building up in my body was released, and I was left kneeling on the ground, sobbing.

I wanted to stay there forever. I wanted to escape into the sickbay and never talk to anyone ever again. I wanted to die.

"Jai!" I heard my name and recognized it as Leon. Had he heard my explosion?

I looked up from my wet hands and was almost hit in the head with a telephone.

I gasped, as I looked all around the cockpit and saw various loose supplies floating in mid air. Grant was pressed against a corner, gaping in horror and Leon rushed to me. He tried to ask me questions, urgently from what I could tell, but I was too mesmerized with the fact that there were objects floating in midair. I looked to Leon with red eyes, and saw him mouth what did you do? I was just about to respond that this wasn't me, when I was suddenly enveloped in a sapphire force field. I felt hands on my back, and I was sucked into oblivion.

Hey guys! Thanks for bearing with me through these past couple of weeks. I've been itching to update this story but just havn't had the chance. Hope you enjoy!.