Chappie Nine

Emily's POV
"One."

I sat on the couch with eight other girls: Michelle, Mica, Dani, Annie, Alyssa, Janay, Rosa, and Gina. We were officially bored and the only thing we could do was turn on the TV and watch some Saturday morning cartoons.

"Two."

"I think we should put some South Park on. What do you guys think?" Gina asked us all. We were too tired, so we just nodded. Gina changed the channel to Comedy Central, and luckily enough, South Park was on. I could enjoy this morning perfectly.

"Three!" Emmy gave a thumbs up and GIR dropped down from the ceiling into her
arms. After placing him on the ground, they started running.

"Yeee heeee! We're running, we're running!" GIR screamed at the top of his lungs as they ran around the room, hand in hand. More running and screaming happily and the two jumped down the trash can-chute together.

"I think we better go down and make sure they don't cause trouble," Mica said. "Because that duo can get into a heck of a lot of trouble, even for just breathing."

That was something we could all agree with. I sadly left my Ewic Cawtman to join the others.

I slid down the chute, not screaming like the others, even Rosa did, like it was a roller-coaster ride.

When we reached the bottom, GIR and Emmy were still running. Sha was laughing at them, and Zim was giving them a stern look.

GIR stripped off his dog disguise and Emmy threw off her glasses. They fell to the floor, but Emmy didn't care.

Could Emmy even see without those? Ah well. She had already picked them up and slid them on again.

"GIR! Sit still! Emmy, stop hyping him up! I need quiet to repair GIR's guidance systems box." It was Zim, threatening to ruin their fun, as always. But Sha didn't care and was gazing at Zim like he was the best thing she'd ever laid eyes on.

"I don't need it! I don't need it!" GIR ran away, but didn't get far because he fell to the ground and his eyes were plain gray. Emmy was dismayed.

"NOOOO DON'T DIE!" Emmy looked like she was about to cry.

"He's not gonna die, Em," I reassured her.

Emmy suddenly had a really crazy look on her face.

Zim removed the chip from GIR and grabbed another one. "Done. The finest in Irken guidance technology and I have improved it."

"I don't believe you," Mica said, of course, in a crazy way. I laughed at my buddy. She was crazy. We all were; it was how we rolled.

Zim ignored Micky. "With these upgrades, GIR, there will be nothing that you cannot find, no situation that you cannot guide us out of." Opening the top of of GIR's head, he saw a bee hive-IN his head.

"HONEY!" Emmy and Lyssa shouted. They lunged for GIR's head but Emmy got the bee hive first.

"WAAAH!" Lyssa whined. "NO HONEY!"

Emmy held the bee hive in her hands, with all the bees buzzing around it (I was surprised she didn't get stung) like it was a trophy, a prized possession.

And then she tripped over a random pillow in the way and it traveled up the chute.

"NOOOOOOOO!" Emmy screamed.

Dani shook her head, laughing.

"Now, if we could just work on your behavior," Zim murmured, sticking the chip in GIR's head.

"Aw, my bees..." GIR frowned.

"Aw, my honey..." Emmy chimed in. GIR already passed a jar of honey over to her. It had appeared out of thin air.

"YAY!" She ran off to go eat it.

"You now possess superior geographic guidance abilities, GIR" Zim said excitedly to him.

"Finally," GIR said as if he knew what he meant.

Ohhh man, was this the part where he tested him?

Oh, great. Emmy wouldn't be too happy.

Emmy's POV
Zim was at work on a laptop thingy. "Report upgrade status."

I drooped as GIR crossed over to the "red side". "Sir, guidance chip in place and fully functional, sir."

NO!

"Demonstrate. Which way is... the skool?" I watched with a tiny bit of interest as I finish my jar of honey (in which I dipped my finger into the jar, and stuck it in my mouth carefully...).

GIR pointed to his upper right.

"Good, GIR." Zim praised. "Now, something tougher. Where is planet Blorch?"

The home of the slaughtering rat people?

Now GIR pointed to his upper left. This was getting so boring.

"Excellent! Now, where is our home planet, Irk?" To this response, GIR moved his finger, barely.

"Perfect! Okay, GIR. I think a field test is in order."

"But he did amazing! And I do not want to see his stupid duty mode anymore!" I protested.

"And I don't care!" Zim retorted.

There was no way I was winning. But then GIR became his normal, loving, epic self and soon he was right next to me.

I felt a little better.

"Let's go into the nearby city and get as lost as we can."

GIR didn't listen. We were watching the Scary Monkey Show.

"GIR, no cheating. Shut your chip off first."

"Do we have to go right now? I wanna watch the Scary Monkey Show with Emmmmmmmy!"

"That monkey..." Zim glanced at the screen.

"It's full of poision!" Annie laughed.

"WAIT!" Michelle shouted. "We all have something to ask you."

"It's reallllly important," Em added.

"LIKE REALLY IMPORTANT," Janay and Lyssa said.

Zim groaned.

"CAN WE COME WITH YOU?!" We all asked in unison.

Zim groaned again. "As long as the Sha-human tags along...sure."

I swooped GIR into a big hug. "YESSSS!"

"As soon as we're lost enough you just use the chip to guide us home. Now, put your disguise back on! I have devised a new, even more insidiously clever disguise for myself!" Zim finished off to GIR after the cheering died down.

YAY!

Gina's POV
GIR was in his normal disguise. Cute lil' puppy. But Zim looked different. He looked like some kind of old hobo. Sha wouldn't stop staring at Zim.

We all followed behind them. Emmy was with GIR. Sha stood with Zim.

Then we all saw Dib standing in front of us.

"What's he doing here?" Sha's hate for Dib was showing.

"He's just here to pick me up." Grace stood near him. "I'm going over his house." And with that, they turned around and left.

"Be alert, GIR! On this planet we are surrounded by danger, and madness!" Zim cautioned.

"Ooh, I like madness!" GIR stuck his tongue out.

"I like it more!" Emmy objected.

We walked for a long time around the city. I thought it was a lot like New York City. Emmy and Alyssa lived in New York and Emmy had been to New York City very often. She'd know probably.

It seemed normal enough. A hobo with green skin, no ears, and no nose, a green dog, and a group of girls walking behind them.

Oh wait. That's not normal. Ahh, I'm high on Dr. Pepper again.

"Window shooooopppppiiiiinnnnnngggg." Micky dragged out her words as a shop with rows and rows of televisions caught our eyes. Namely, Emmy and GIR, who stopped to watch the Scary Monkey Show. But Zim and GIR's forces were unbalanced and since Zim was the one walking, GIR was the one forced to go Zim's way. Emmy sighed as she walked behind him.

After that we saw a chihuahua. "Awww," I said and bent down to pet it. However its sharp teeth aimed for my arm. I ran away just in time.

"Madness!" Zim yelled when he saw what happened to me.

"This is a nice park," Michelle remarked as we headed into a-you guessed it-park. It was pretty quiet, except for a mime doing what mimes did, with a crowd formed around it. Soon a lot of them started giving some of their spare change.

We left the park, much to our dismay!

"Okay. I think I've had my fill of these horrible... stink people things for today. Except for the Sha-human I guess." Sha beamed at Zim's comment. "So activate your guidance chip and lead the way to home!"

GIR just pointed up. Zim just laughed as if GIR had just been kidding.

"No. No GIR, not Irk. I meant our home base here on Earth."

"Oh, here." GIR pointed down.

"You fail, GIR," Janay said to him.

"Our house, GIR! Which direction is our house?" Zim was now exasperated.

Oh no...it wasn't possible...not now!

"Um, that way. No, wait, um, it's over there."

"How could you not know! I just upgraded your guidance system!"

"Oh, I left that at home."

Oh. My. God. I started slamming my head against a wall. It didn't hurt. Too much.

"You left what at home?"

Still slamming my head. Mica has joined me. So has Dani and Annie.

"The guidy, chippy, thingy." Everyone except the four of us gasped. Even Emmy!

"You! Why would you do that!?" Zim was...angered. Furious.

"To make room for the cupcake!" GIR happily unzipped his disguise and popped out a cupcake that resembled to a muffin. He teared off half of it, gave it to Emmy, and they ate their cupcake together. Emmy was such a faker!

"How could you do this? You've left us stranded in the middle of the enemy territory! Surrounded by humans!"

The last of the words prompted me to start slamming my head into the wall again.

When I had just stopped, he had caused me to do it again.

We were stuck. In the middle of a city that looked like...New York City. And I'm sure Emmy couldn't find her way around it.

Mica's POV
When I stopped slamming my head against the wall of the nearby store, GIR looked like he was about to burst into tears.

"Shut up Zim, you're making GIR upset!" Alyssa started to walk to Zim, but Sha objected. "Don't hurt my Zim!"

"Oh I will, Shannon," Alyssa called Sha by her real name. Emmy wasn't even doing anything but staring at GIR. Like she usually did.

Zim noticed what a huge fight he was starting."I can see that you understand your mistake, GIR, and me being angry will get us no closer to home. I will just have to use my innate invader survival skills to get us out of here."

Innate invader survival skills! HAHAHAHA! He walked over to a trashcan! How is that survival?

"See, GIR? The Almighty Tallest have not placed there trust in me without reason." And with that, he hopped into the trashcan.

"I miss you cupcake," GIR moaned. So Emmy, seeing GIR cry now, ran to GIR's side and wrapped her arms around him.

After that, Zim was out of the trash can.

"What's that, Zim?" Sha asked, interested in what her crush was holding.

"I will use these pieces of scrap metal to fashion a compass..." Zim answered, beginning to fold it."...using this planet's own magnetic field against it!"

Our planet doesn't have a magnetic field...does it?

"Now, witness the power of my compass!" He showed off his "compass" but it flew out of his hands and clung to GIR, since he was magnetic.

"Aw, it likes me!" GIR grinned down at it. Emmy helped him get it off.

"Perhaps a compass is not the best tool for this situation!" He snatched the compass out of Emmy's hand and threw it into the garbage can.

"That was a waste," Emily said.

"Why don't we ask the information humans for help?" GIR suggested.

"I will not stoop as low as to ask the humans for help!" Zim growled.

"But you're with humans right now!" Gina glared.

"You think I want to be?!"

It was quiet. This was going horribly. Nobody dared to say a word, as we were all sure things would get worse.

The silence was broken when a bus came by, creating a roaring sound.

"You speak nonsense, GIR! We help ourselves." I guess Zim felt it was now safe enough to open his mouth.

"What about the bus?" GIR read slowly from a sign on the bus.

"Excellent, GIR! We will use one of their own methods of transportation to beat this revolting city!"

"Umm...GIR didn't come up with that on his-" I finished my sentence, but the roaring of the bus blocked out the rest. Thus Zim didn't hear.

Emmy sat in a seat with GIR, Zim, and Sha.

The rest of us began to take seats all around the bus. I sat with Gina, Rosa, and Annie.

"Where do you think you're going?" The bus driver asked us all.

COME ON!

"I go home. Now mind your business, bus slave!" Zim acted like she was a horse.

"You don't go anywhere without bus fare!"

"Fare?"

"Moneyyyy," Dani whispered.

"This ain't a free ride, little man." The bus driver obviously was a reincarnation of Sandy Cheeks. What's that? She's not dead yet? Oh well! Haha I was just kidding anyway! "You need money!"

"You expect me to pay to be on this filthy machine? Have you the brain worms!?"
And that's why were were ALL kicked off the bus!

STUPID ZIM!

Janay's POV
"Fine! I don't need your bus! I will use the power of my sun to find my way!" Zim said when we were kicked off. I was so ticked at him.

"Weirdo." The bus driver snorted.

"Why the heck would you use the sun other than solar power?!" Rosa groaned. "This isn't getting us anywhere."

"Are we gonna ride the sun home?" GIR asked excitedly.

"No, GIR. I can use the Earth's sun to determine which direction is west. The Earth's sun always sets in the west. Now watch me amaze you!" Now Zim stared into the sun.

"Zim, don't be so stupid-" Sha started to say.

"Ohhh Zim, you're so smart," I interrupted. This encouraged him.

Sha looked at me questioningly.

"He shall be punished!"

And punished he was, because his eyes were frying and he ran around screaming about how blind he was.

"You're so stupid Zim!" I now exclaimed.

Now GIR chased after Zim, like they were playing tag. We all fell down laughing.

"No! GIR! I think they booby trapped their sun somehow!" Zim ran into a wall.

We guffawed more. Even Sha, who was laughing for the sake of being happy.

"A minor setback, GIR. We'll be home in no time. I'll just wait until the skin grows back on my eyeballs!"

I knew this would take a while, so I leaned against the wall and closed my eyes. Before I fell asleep, I noticed Sha slipping her arm around Zim and GIR on Emmy's lap.

I think were were asleep for a few hours. When we woke up it was dark out.

"GIR! Hyoomans! I can see! I can see! Now we can figure out how to escape this filthy place." Zim's eyes were now back to normal.

GIR was sleeping, but was also squirming on Emmy's lap. Emmy was still sleeping too, but the two were smiling in their nap.

"Get a job, ya bum!" A man by the name of Maurice Morgan yelled out to Zim, as he walked by. I could tell because he had a name-tag on his shirt that read "Hello, my name is..." and in horrible handwriting: "Maurice Morgan!"

"That's it! If we can find a job, we can make money. With this money, we can ride the bus! I'm going to beat you, city! You won't make a fool of this Irken invader!" Zim smirked.

A half an hour later we stood in the park yet again. Zim was acting like a mime and GIR was acting like a wind up toy. They were both very believable.

"Do something," Zim mouthed to us all. I think he didn't want us to seem suspicious.

What we'd been doing was standing there, waving and yelling "HI!"

While people dropped change into Zim's hat, we got no change at all.

"Huddle," Emily said and we did exactly that.

"We have to do something," Sha said. She was in between Emmy and Gina. "Zim's counting on us."

"What else can we do?!" Em asked.

Suddenly, Michelle looked like she had a genius idea. "Who here has an iPod?!"

Everyone raised their hands.

"Now who brought their iPods?"

Everyone's hand went down. Except Alyssa.

Michelle whispered something into Lyssa's ear.

"Get out of the huddle," Lyssa instructed us when we saw a lot of people looking at us, probably dying to know what we were talking about.

Lyssa turned her iPod on full volume and put "Party Rock Anthem." There we were; dancing crazily and shuffling and imitating Just Dance 3 moves.

We got ten dollars.

Not much, but hey, we did well!

And then it happened.

A huge sound. It was coming closer. Like it was coming...toward us. We all screamed, even the crowd. Lyssa grabbed her iPod and we all hid behind a tree. Zim and GIR still did their thing.

CRASH!

I opened my eyes, which had once been closed. And there stood...a spaceship.

Michelle's POV
The door opened slowly. Smoke poured out. If possible, dramatic music could be playing now.

And when the smoke had faded, there was a boy...a boy with brown hair. Blue eyes. A t-shirt with the Irken logo on it. He looked as triumphant as ever with his hands on his hips.

And then I saw a piece of metal roll out. It was like a ball. But then it wasn't and...it was a robot! Like GIR! Except it looked more like a SIR unit then a, well, a GIR and it had yellow eyes.

The boy looked around. Zim stared at him in complete and utter shock.

"A HYOOMAN IN A SPACESHIP!" Zim stopped acting all mime-y.

The boy walked over to Zim. "You're Invader Zim?"

Zim stared at him. "HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME FILTHY-"

"I'm not a human."

We all gaped at the pair.

"I think we need to go somewhere private," this "boy" said, taking notice of all the people staring. So we followed him to a nearby alley, with Zim and GIR. As usual, Sha sat next to Zim, and Emmy with GIR. No surprise there. The robot had joined us.

"You're not human?!" Zim had calmed down, but not by much.

"No, I'm not." And the entire costume disappeared. It was a hologram. He was an Irken like Zim. His antennae were curved, but in the opposite direction of Zim's, and his uniform and eyes were more red-violet.

"Wow," we all breathed.

"You're Irken!" Zim said, stating the obvious.

"Yes, Zim, I'm Irken." He face-palmed. "The name is Invader Narm."

"Invader Narm?! HOW COME I NEVER HEARD OF-"

"Shut up, Zim," Narm said surprisingly calmly. "The Tallest sent me. I'm your...sidekick."

"Zim needs no sidekick!" He held up GIR. "And I've got the Sha-human!"

Sha blushed.

Narm sighed. "Do you want to go home or not? Because I'm here..."

"UGH FINE! Stupid Narm..."

"That's just Zim, don't worry," I reassured him.

He shrugged. "The Tallest told me all about him. He's very...unpredictable and stupid."

A bus stopped in front of the alley.

Emmy scooped up GIR and ran for the bus. We had the change in our pockets and we threw them into the fare box as we sat down in our seats. I sat with Janay, Lyssa, and Dani.

Narm squeezed into the seat with Emmy, Sha, GIR, and Zim.

"Finally, we are heading home!" Zim declared as the bus doors shut and we took off.

FIVE MINUTES LATER...
"I hate you Zim!" I yelled at him.

"What is wrong with these people!? This place is just begging to be destroyed!" Zim said, oblivious to my insult.

He ruined our chance of getting home! Just because the people on the bus were acting disgusting! Well, here's a little something for you Zim. A lot of people are like that.

"Woo! I like destroying!" GIR happily kicked a can of soda.

"GIR! I have a plan!" Zim declared, glancing up.

"It's gonna fail," Narm said.

I liked this guy already.

"Ocular implants are standard invader issue. From the top of that building my incredible eyes should be able to spot our neighborhood. Come on!"

"Can't I do that?" Narm asked as we followed Zim. Again. How stupid of us.

We walked into the bank and headed to the stairs. The police were there and were making a big buzz about how some bank robber had come.

The teller screamed and pointed to Zim. "It's him!"

He did look a lot like a bank robber!

"Get him!" an officer ordered. "And the others too! They could be accomplices!"

They began chasing us. We ran. Narm and Zim's paks were helping them to run faster and we could barely keep our running pace in time with theirs. We made it to the top of the roof, panting and fearful.

"We're trapped!" I was really honest-to-goodness afraid.

Narm and Zim took half of us each and held us as they clung to the ledge of the building. Sha's left hand slipped and she hung to the edge of one of Zim's robotic legs.
She screamed loudly.

"Sha-human, grab my hand." Zim held out his hand seeming almost solicitous and it was a miracle the rest of us were held up.

She obliged, with barely any breath left in her, her eyes shining as if surprised.

"Okay, now, where do we go from here?" Zim looked out at the horizon and settled on a perfect spot."There! That looks about right. Now, use your jets to fly us home."

A helicopter was on top of us, practically.

"Yes sir!" GIR activated his jet pack. A few of us sat on GIR. Emmy was in front, then Sha, then Zim and so on.

The rest sat on Narm's SIR Unit.

"His name is BIR!" he yelled over the sound of the jet pack.

And then...GIR fell down. Everyone on him fell on the dumpster into another alley. We flew down on BIR to see the rest of them. They were all fine, were sitting on the ground.

"What happened!? How did you run out of fuel that quickly!?

"I emptied it out."

"Emptied it? Why!?"

"To make room for the tuuunaa." And with that, GIR sucked from his foot. This time, Emmy looked a bit disgusted.

"Let's just ride on BIR." Narm said, annoyance in his voice. We all crowded onto BIR and screamed in delight as we rode on him, all the way to Zim's house.

There was a house across the street from Zim's. One I had never seen before.

Narm.

Guess we had a new member.

FOOTNOTE:
So this chapter had an excerpt of the Invader Zim episode "Walk of Doom"!

You should know the drill with reviews, so yay!