Love Struck
Chapter 82 - Lost Everything
Shadow's POV
A closed funeral.
I didn't want the whole base coming to make their amends. I could care less anymore for anyone's feelings. This world and all who live can burn in hell.
I sat here in my black suit watching as the all who were invited came up to the caskets to say goodbye.
I stared into pure darkness and even though everyone walked by and stared into my eyes, all I saw was black and red. Black from the missing soul and characteristics I once had and red for the blood I was going to shed to take revenge on the man who murdered my baby boy.
Archer and Jake had their own caskets and I glanced at them wondering if they were truly free from this hell, but slowly as I thought I began to look back at the one casket that meant really anything to me. Amy's and my boy's.
I laid them to rest. Amy is laying there with my son. My Shadow, in her cold arms.
Tears slowly came out from under my hatred as the last of the guests took their seats behind me.
Everyone waited and the priest gently tapped my shoulder to get my attention.
I instantly turned my head and stared deep into her eyes and if I wasn't the leader of the rebellion she would have shouted out "The devil!". I couldn't care anymore; I'm dead. I couldn't care for my life anymore.
She was scared to say anything as my eyes glanced back at the coffin.
I roughly smacked the priest's hand off me causing her to back off.
Slowly I got up and began to approach the coffin.
I stopped about halfway to see someone coming out of the corner of my eye.
Fearlessly I turned my head to find Ghost and Dove along with Midnight who stopped in their tracks the second I connected eyes.
They were scared. I could feel it in their stance.
Slowly I growled and turned back at the casket.
Ghost and his "family" proceeded next to the crowd as I reached the black coffin.
My tears filled with anger dripped out and hit it's metal surface and slowly I placed my hand on the base to crunch my fingers in rage.
In my head I said my goodbyes. No one but me deserved to hear the final words I had for both of them.
"I'm lost. I can't sleep. I can't eat. I can't even move without you. What do I do Amy? Nothing and no one remains a part of me. I canceled out Ghost. He no longer is worth anything to me, not after him letting our son die. I know he didn't pull the trigger, but he could have stopped this. I'm so sorry son. I don't deserve to live anymore for what I have done. I let you die and not even a day after you were born. I lost you and Amy in a blink of an eye. When I held you in my arms I saw a new life meant for us. You, me, and Amy. I was going to end this war and take all of us somewhere better, maybe Pakistan. But now all I want to do is die. I will end this, but not before ending myself. I will be there with you soon. I promise. I love you. Goodbye."
And with that I slowly let my hand hit my side. Tears rolled down my fur and I gently felt someone's touch.
I looked to my side and found Ghost crying.
We didn't say a word.
I was finished. He must not understand what I am now.
I'm no longer his brother, his friend, his anything. As I said I'm no one. I'm dead to the world and no one can save me. My soul has already faded away.
I quickly smacked his hand off me and Ghost stared into my eyes with fear.
I was going to scream, but not here.
I quickly began to walk off towards the gate and everyone stared at me as the priest announced carefully.
"I thank everyone for coming out today to say goodbye to theses missed souls, now I would like to invite everyone here to accompany me to the lunch in located next to the capital. The restaurant is called Jack Myers Inn and Hotel."
I stopped immediately in so much anger it made everyone grow cold behind me.
Ghost watched as I began to flicker. My fur was going dark and I tried to control it but my anger built to high.
The priest was frightened as my fur rested on it's dark form and slowly I looked back with my blood red eyes. Midnight was in fear for her life and held Dove tightly as Ghost went to move forward.
Immediately I reached under my jacket and grabbed my M9.
Ghost stopped in his tracks as I let it fall to my side.
I was the devil.
"A lunch in?" I questioned in pure rage as I gripped my gun harder.
Everyone stood scared.
Manically I began to chuckle with sent shivers down everyone's spines.
"I can't believe this." I stated while staring at the priest.
I wanted to say a lot more but all I could manage to say without losing my temper to kill someone was.
"Go. Have fun eating while my son and love rot. Picture it why don't you as you eat." I ordered.
Everyone lowered or looked away as I continued.
"Picture the worms going through their eyes eating through their flesh as you enjoy your spaghetti." I stopped as some people began to feel sick.
"Image there bones and brains slowly oozing out of there heads and gently resting on the dirt until they disincarnate into nothing but ash and food for the mud." Ghost was scared for me as I finished.
"Just enjoy your food. I bet you'll enjoy the taste better now that you know what the bugs are having tonight."
Slowly I turned and walked off leaving the cemetery alone for all those "things".
I quickly walked back to the capital where I was being waited on by the officers.
I entered and they followed as I proceeded to my office.
I pushed open the door letting it make a hole in my wall and quickly I fell into my seat.
The officers waited and I was scaring them as I reached for my combat knife.
Slowly I began to cut my hand and the men stared at me with sadness.
My blood landed on the desk and gently I closed my eyes enjoying the stress relief.
"Fuck Maria. I always knew this was better then talking."
As I continued to cut I heard.
"Sir?"
I slowly opened my eyes and the officers looked at me in fear.
My fur still hasn't changed, maybe that's why their so scared.
As more of my blood came out my anger went down turning me back to normal.
The officers waited as I lowered the blade onto the desk and on the pile of blood.
Gently I took a breath and rested as one of the officers asked.
"What do we do sir?"
I looked into his eyes and replied.
"The one thing Logan didn't."
"What's that sir?" He asked.
I smiled and replied.
"Attack."
The officers looked around at each other and asked.
"How sir?"
"Simple." I replied while pointing at the Major who stood to my left.
"I want you and you platoon to get the tanks and hummers ready. I want each one fully armed and plated. Once it is done come back here. GO!" I ordered.
The Major nodded and exited and slowly I focus on the Colonel.
"Go get every man and women who can still fight and get them armed. I need four platoons at the least. Once they are assembled get them out in the lot and wait for my order. GO!"
The colonel left and last but not least.
I pointed at the General and ordered.
"Your with me. Let's go."
I slowly got up and the General followed as I proceeded to the war room.
The men inside stared at me as I approached the main console.
The General listened as I pointed at the G.U.N base.
"I need you General to command my troops in this battle. Do you understand?" I asked.
The General widened his eyes and replied.
"I thought you were doing that?"
I smiled and replied.
"I'm not. I will be with the one other person to infiltrate the base and lower the defenses so our tanks and troops can pull in to assist."
Everyone stared at me in surprise.
"Someone has to do and I will end this war." I stated.
"What about the Commander of G.U.N?" Asked the General.
"I will deal with him don't worry." I replied.
"What about the Black Ops?!" Shouted one of the men across the room.
I felt anger and replied.
"I will kill him before he can even attempt to kill any of my men."
The men nodded and slowly I stared at the base map.
"Who's going with you before we attack?" Asked the General as he stared at it with me.
I slowly looked into his eyes and replied.
"The Capitan."
The general and all the men knew him and I never will say his name again.
"Is that all?" Asked the General.
"Just get this done. When everything is ready come and find me in my office." I ordered as I turned to leave.
Everyone but me remained in place as I left with my hand still dripping blood.
Slowly I went back to my office and rested back in my chair continuing my job with the combat knife.
Ten minutes later
"Knock! Knock! Knock!"
My face was turning a light blue from the blood loss but I didn't care.
I gently looked back to my desk and grabbed the bottle of whisky I had in my desk.
Half of it was gone and I continued to drink.
"Knock! Knock! Knock!"
I let the bottle rest on my lap and slowly I went back to the blade.
It felt so good to feel pain after feeling so much hatred and sadness.
Slowly my door opened and in walked Ghost who stop the second he saw me the way I was.
Carefully he shut the door and approached me as I continued to drink and cut.
"Shadow…?" He said as I ignored him.
I gulped and gulped letting the alcohol sit in my stomach and Ghost carefully stared at my bloody hand.
"What do you want?" I asked as I licked some of my blood.
Such a great combination.
Ghost was scared but worried at the same time, I wonder if he still thinks I can be save.
"What's going on outside?" He asked as my blood rolled onto the floor.
I went back to drinking and Ghost looked at me as if I wasn't there.
I slowly let the bottle hit my side and I replied.
"We're ending this war tonight."
Ghost widened his eyes as I licked the blade.
I gently raised the bottle and took another gulp and Ghost reached for it taking the butt into his palm.
Slowly he took it away while saying.
"Please Shadow."
"What do you care?" I asked as he let the bottle rest on his side.
Ghost frowned and gently put the bottle on the chair next to him.
"I'm worried about you." He stated as he went for my blade that was cutting my wrist.
"If you were worried you would have called." I stated.
Ghost widened his eyes and replied.
"Shadow that's not fair."
I looked up into his eyes and replied.
"My son is dead because of you. He didn't even live a day to see me or his mother. Now that's not fair."
Ghost lowered his head in sadness as my blood began to roll onto my leg.
"Shadow I'm so sorry…!" I cut him off with a small chuckle.
"Hehehe…nothing you could ever say will bring the fact that you let him die because you were scared of the truth to a close." I stated.
Ghost quickly looked into my eyes.
"The truth of what?" He asked.
I sliced up my arm and replied.
"The truth that you killed him."
Ghost began to cry and slowly I stated.
"I'm sure the four hours he lived were the best of his life."
Gently as Ghost let tears hit the ground I raised the blade to my face.
The steel sliced my cheek and Ghost looked at me losing all his hope for forgiveness from me.
"I'm sorry brother." He stated in a tear filled tone.
I chuckled again and replied.
"We're not brothers."
Ghost widened his eyes as I continued.
"We're not even friends. Your not even a person to me. As far as I care you killed my family single handedly. All that I need you for is this last battle."
Ghost cried and cried as I pointed at the door.
"Get out and get geared up. Your coming with me, and if you die out there I will leave you to rot just like my son."
Ghost looked at me in shock and he slowly made his way to the door.
He stopped at the frame and as his tears hit the floor I heard.
"I'm sorry."
Ghost then left leaving me alone and I slowly tossed the blade aside.
I quickly stood up and grabbed the bottle in my hand once again. I immediately chugged till the last drop and then let it rest on my side.
My face bled. My arm bled. My hand bled. Even my heart bled and I could feel the vacancy of the name that use to be there.
Shadow.
Shadow is dead and he's not coming back.