Love Struck

by mT Shadow

Love and war. Two complacated things. What happens to that feeling in your heart when you lose everything bit by bit? Do you quit? Or do you fight for the hope that the pain will one day stop and you can be free? Sometimes love can end that pain. It all depends on what type of a man you are. Do you keep fighting or do you give up and lose everything you once loved? Shadamy.

83. Chapter 83

Love Struck

Chapter 83 - Beyond Your Recognition

Dark's POV

"Snap!"

I pulled down on the receiver for my G36C and rested it on the table next to the armory door.

Gently I pulled out an M9 and a few grenades.

As I rested them down I shut my eyes in such confusion it was mind boggling.

I've never been this confused in all my life.

The men next to me stared as I breath heavily in the helmet.

I'm scared. I feel like I should be dead.

Tears hit inside the helmet and covered my view as I pictured the baby.

I can't believe I did that, but I didn't have a choice. It was ether him or me.

My tear filled eyes opened in shock from when I last said that.

Flashback

The commander stood up and looked down on me.

"You watch your fucking tone with me! If you want this to turn into a fight I'll be more then glad to!" Shouted the commander.

I stood up and got in his face.

"If you think I fucking wanted to leave him there then your one sick asshole! He was like my brother to me! I'm going to regret this everyday of my life knowing I was the reason he was killed! If I could go back and save him I would, but I can't! I don't care what you think about it! I know what I did was wrong!" I shouted.

The commander's face was red.

"And you still did it! You left him to die…!" I cut him off.

"He was dead!"

"How could you have been sure!? You were shot as well! All that pain, all that stress! He might have been laying there begging for you to save him and you were too spineless, and too much of a coward to help him! You probably looked him straight in the eye and gave him a big old FUCK YOU to his face as you bordered the evac!" Screamed the commander.

I immediately threw my chair aside and it hit the wall causing the military police to finally decide to run into the office behind me.

"You have now fucking idea what I was feeling! I thought he was dead! And thanks to me he is! I didn't want to leave him you fucking piece of shit! I had no other option! IT WAS ETHER HIM OR ME!"

Dark's POV

This whole war has been because of what I have done and it wasn't for the right thing it was to save myself.

I caused this, all of this. Just so I could live. It cost me my brother, six soldiers, two black ops commandos, and a new born baby to be here today.

Tears poured sown my face as I heard.

"You ok Kevin?"

I turned and it was the commander who waited with a few officers.

I took a few deep breath and let the remaining tears wash down my armor then gently lifted my head back up.

"Yes sir." I replied while taking my weapons.

The commander nodded and I knew he knew I wasn't ok.

"Lets go Kevin we have a war to finish." Stated the commander while turning to leave with the officers.

I nodded and slowly followed as the commander led us outside.

I stopped as the rain poured onto my gear and I gently stared into the moon as the commander ordered.

"Come on Kevin!"

I quickly looked away and went back to the commander who lead us towards the warehouse where I almost killed that black hedgehog.

The second we entered I stopped and began to look around watching as almost two platoons worked on the vehicles.

"Kevin!" Shouted the commander as he got further away.

I panicked and jogged back to his side where he looked up at me and stated.

"I need you with me tonight Kevin. I can't have you dosing off getting shot."

I smiled under my helmet and replied.

"I'm fine sir, don't worry about me."

The commander looked away and we finally made it to the center where the commander stopped and shouted.

"ATTENTION!"

Everyone stopped and looked as the commander spoke.

"We have a about five hours till this war is decided and I've gotten word that the states are sending a reinforced platoon our way for support! We need to hold back the rebellion until they get here with support! If we can do that then this battle will be ours! I need these vehicles ready within the next hour! Do you understand!?"

"SIR YES SIR!" Replied the men.

"Get it done and one last thing!" Stated the commander as he looked at me.

Everyone stared at me as the commander stated.

"My man is field commander for this battle! Get linked up to his set and report in!" Ordered the commander.

I was caught off guard as the squad leaders readied the transmissions.

As I was about to speak I heard.

"Charlie 3-5 reporting in!"

"Foxtrot 5-9 reporting in!"

"Alpha 2-3 reporting in!"

"Delta 5-1 reporting in!"

"Gamma 8-4 reporting in!"

"Bravo 7-0 reporting in!"

"All squads reported in sir!"

I looked around at all the men who stared at me and nodded.

"Kevin will be with Gamma 8-4 in the tank division! The rest of you need to set fall in behind! Bravo 7-0! Alpha 2-3! Foxtrot 5-9 and Charlie 3-5! You will be our main force up front! I want your tanks lined outside the fences as the hummers form further away in the trenches! Delta 5-1 you will be our ears and eyes! I want your squad two miles up the round doing recon on the city! When you see them coming you call in to Kevin got it!?" Asked the commander.

"SIR YES SIR!" Shouted Delta.

The commander nodded and then looked at me.

"You and the officers will be with the tanks. Don't let them through." Ordered the commander.

"What happens if they get through sir?" Asked one of the officers.

The commander stared at me and replied.

"If they prove too much and they break through our lines and somehow get in the base's perimeter I will need you to pull back to the base and get on the barricades I have the men outside setting up."

"What then?" I asked.

"Hold them back for as long as you can. Every second you buy will get us closer to getting help from the states. We just need to hold them back until then." Replied the commander.

"What if they get through that?" I asked in more force.

The commander stared heavily and replied.

"Then prey you get killed fast."

Me and the officers grew scared and the commander started to pull away.

"This war will be ended tonight one way or another and I will be damn if this base falls with me still breathing. I will be in my office." The commander stopped and reached the door.

"But sir!?" Shouted one of the officers.

The commander stopped and gently looked back and said.

"If they want to end this war they will have to kill me there. I'm not leaving this base."

The commander then opened the door and left leaving me with my new job as…!

Leader of the G.U.N forces.

Shadow's POV

All forces standing by sir. Stated the Colonel as he stood in front of my desk along with the Major and General.

"Snap!"

I snapped my M9's receiver forward arming the gun and I slowly looked up into the eyes of the scared men.

"How about you Major? Is everyone good to go?" I asked while putting my gun in it's pouch.

"Yes sir. All vehicles are armed and ready sir." He replied.

"Good." I stated while grabbing my body armor.

Carefully I placed it over my black tee and locked the connecters in place.

I made sure it was ready and then looked at the General.

"Are you ready General?" I asked while grabbing my MP5 off my desk.

The General nodded and replied.

"Everyone in the war room is linked with each of the five platoons and we are ready to order the men out sir." He stated.

"Snap!"

I smacked the receiver on the MP5 and then attached the sling. Carefully I let it drop onto my chest and dangle as I looked up at the men.

"We move out in in a few hours. I want all of you to double check and make sure we're set. GO!" I ordered.

The men nodded and turned to the door.

The General quickly opened the door and I stared past them as the Captain was waiting on the other side.

He let them pass with a nod of his head and gently walked in and shut the door behind him.

I looked away and grabbed the medical wrap on my desk.

The Capitan approached me and stopped next to the seats as I wrapped up my hand and arm.

"What do you want?" I asked as I applied the tape.

The Capitan lowered his head then slowly looked back up into my eyes.

"Please Shadow…!" I cut him off.

"You have no permission to call me by my name! It's sir to you!" I shouted at him causing him to back up a little.

The Capitan was upset I could tell, but his life is now the least of my concern.

"Can we talk about this?" He asked in sadness.

I nodded my head in disapproval.

"No." I told him in force.

The Capitan looked away and then quickly asked.

"Why?"

I immediately looked up at him and replied.

"Because I said so. Now go."

The Capitan panicked.

"Please just hear me out!" He begged.

I lowered my head with a slight smile and replied.

"I've been hearing you since the start of my career here. I'm done listening."

The Capitan lowered his head and replied.

"I listened to you!"

"And I to you." I replied while laying down the tape.

"I didn't kill your son!" He shouted.

Immediately I raised my glare into his eyes and he grew tense.

"Yes you did." I stated.

"No I didn't! If anything I tried to save him!" He replied in anger filled tears.

"You shot me. You stabbed me. And you left me." I stated.

"Only because you tried to off yourself!" Shouted the Capitan in rebuttal.

"Amy's dead!" I shouted causing him to widen his eyes in shock.

"She's gone! Buried six feet under this war torn country along with my boy! I'm sorry Capitan if you still think I'm crazy but look at it from my view. My best friend tries to kill me and then is too scared to call even when it's my baby's life on the line! Amy died and I didn't even know till I offered her Shadow! Then he dies not even half a day after that and more so by the one man who has been fucking with us since the beginning! Do you even think for one single solitary second you know what I'm going through!?" I asked.

He went to respond but I cut him off the second his mouth moved.

"No you don't!" I slowly began to come at him and the Capitan began to back up towards the door.

"You have no fucking idea what I'm going through and it makes me so angry when I know you were just one phone call away from telling me my son was in danger! In my mind Capitan you could have saved him, but instead you were too scared to do anything about it! My son is dead because of your fear to confront me after so much!" I took a breath as he hit his back against the door.

He shut his eyes in fear as I got close to his nose.

"SO DON'T EVEN TRY TO GET MY FORGIVENESS OR ANY SORT OF CLOSURE! YOUR DEAD TO ME AFTER THIS AND WHEN THIS WAR IS OVER I WANT YOU GONE! I WILL BURN YOUR CONTRACT AND YOUR RECORD! JUST MAKE SURE YOU GET AS FAR AWAY FRO ME AND MY DEAD FAMILY AS POSSIABLE! DO YOU FUCKING HEAR ME!?" I screamed with a solid red face.

The Capitan cried heavily as I backed off.

"NOW GET OUT OF MY OFFCIE AND GET READY BECAUSE IN A FEW HOURS WE MOVE OUT!" I stated as he opened the door.

He slowly exited and before he could leave he said.

"I didn't mean to hurt anyone."

I grew furious and screamed.

"GET THE FUCK OUT!"

The Capitan slowly shut the door in tears leaving me alone once again.

I exhaled deeply in anger and slowly walked back to my desk.

Quickly I reached inside and took out another bottle of whiskey.

I quickly unscrewed the cap and pressed the mouth on my tongue.

"Gulp! Gulp! Gulp! Gulp! Gulp! Ahhhh!"

I chugged in anger and I felt lightheaded and I gently placed the bottle on my desk.

Immediately I placed my hands on my head and I was sweating.

Anger rolled off me and slowly I felt a huge wave of sadness.

"Aghhh…hhhh…aghhhhh!"

I cried and cried and my tears hit my desk and quickly I grabbed the bottle again.

"Gulp! Gulp! Gulp! Aghhhhh!"

I let the bottle rest again as I continued to cry in my sorrow.

I slowly looked with my red strained eyes at the clock and it was 8:00pm.

Gently I put my hand on the bottle again and I thought to myself.

Four more hours.

Quickly I placed the bottle against my lips and continued to drink letting each drop of the devil's water hit my sorrow that rested at the bottom of my empty soul.

"Gulp! Gulp! Gulp! Gulp! Gulp! Gulp! Gulp!"