Hey everyone~

Shout out to all of the sweet reviewers who left such positive comments! They make me soooo happy!

Anywho, due to popular demand, here is chapter 11, your belated New Years present from me~ :D

And the word count for this chapter is 9,336! CX

Remember to R&R and all that other good stuff! :D

Enjoy it, lovelies!

Chapter 11: Stay Positive

"Why don't you ever kiss me?" Eijun paused in his writing, turning his head to face the catcher sitting in the chair next to him at his desk. It was during their lunch break that Kazuya asked the question aloud, curiosity lingering in his soft tone as his eyes scanned through Eijun's completed work, checking to see if there were any mistakes in the calculations. "Ah, this one's wrong. You're supposed to use the distance formula." Eijun snatched the paper up, rubbing at the mistake with his eraser rapidly, getting the pink shavings everywhere. "I don't know...maybe I just don't want to kiss you?" Eijun cursed himself mentally; he'd blurted out another rude reply that would be added onto his rapidly growing list of all the stupid things he regretted saying. His answer had come out completely wrong, and he was sure Kazuya was going to be taken aback by it.

Kazuya looked at him somberly, light brown eyes losing their usual glow as he took in what Eijun had just said. "So...you're unhappy?"

"No, no. That's not what I meant..." Eijun grumbled, fighting back the urge to smack some sense into the catcher with the red pencil in his hand. Ever since he started dating Kazuya, he noticed how the catcher's moods seemed to revolve around things he said or did. If he did something stupid, Kazuya would laugh and call him an idiot. If he hurt himself during practice, Kazuya would become more serious and tell him to be more careful the next time. If he got a good grade on one of his tests, Kazuya would praise him and cook him something simple, yet absolutely mouth-watering delicious, as a reward.

"Look, I'm not really a good kisser..." Eijun mumbled, a blush painting his cheeks with dark specks of pink. While he hadn't let Kazuya kiss him on the lips, Eijun had tried to take a few mental notes on how Kazuya would normally kiss him. The feeling of Kazuya's lips against his hot, tanned skin always seemed to make him feel like he was floating away to another galaxy, lost in his own fantasy. He could only imagine how sparks would fly like fireworks in the night sky duration a summer festival if their lips were to ever lock together. "If you...if you get one hit during our upcoming game, I'll give you a congratulatory kiss on the cheek."

Kazuya's lips curled upward into a small smile. "Well then, I won't disappoint you, babe." Eijun froze when he heard the nickname, the grip he had on the pencil loosened and it fell out of his hand, landing on the classroom floor with a small clack. While Kazuya often called him weird names that didn't make any sense like Bakamura, Eij, or Uzumura, this one was definitely new for him. Kazuya seemed to be embracing the whole concept of dating, while Eijun was still trying to figure it out. "WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME!?" Eijun's outburst had caused the students in the classroom, who were either eating their lunch or chattering away with friends, to turn towards him with curious, yet amused, looks on their faces. Kazuya laughed at him mercilessly, adding on to his humiliation even more.

Some of the girls in his class started to whisper about them and not so quietly, either. "Sawamura-kun is so adorable when he's blushing." Some laughed in agreement. "Sawamura-kun is sooooo lucky! Miyuki-senpai's just so perfect." While Kazuya tended to ignore the gossip, finding it conceited at times, he couldn't help but notice the embarrassed blush spreading across Eijun's cheeks as he turned to look towards the group of first-year girls standing around in front of the classroom doorway, just giggling and chattering among themselves innocently.

"Eijun," Kazuya called out to the pitcher, who's attention was occupied on the girls. Eijun made a "hmm" noise to let Kazuya know he'd heard him, still curiously engrossed in the girls conversation. Kazuya sighed, knowing it was futile to take Eijun's attention away from the discussion. There was always plan B, though.

Kazuya smirked, scooting his chair back and making it screech across the tiled floor of the half empty classroom rather loudly. Kazuya stood up from it, clearing his throat suddenly to bring forth their attention towards himself. The girls stopped their chattering, turning their eyes over towards him and blushing and giggling in both embarrassment, shyness, and delight as they met his gaze.

"Ladies, please~ Eijun is the one who is perfect, not me. I'm pretty lucky to have ended up with him. He's a definite keeper." Kazuya emphasized his point by leaning across the desk, pecking an astonished Eijun on his cheek with a smirk on his face. Eijun's face was engulfed in red, all the way from his cheeks up to the tips of his ears as he registered the kiss in his brain.

Kazuya always thought that Eijun was always adorable when he blushed like that and it was all because of him.

"If you stay up so late, you'll feel really sluggish in the morning." Kazuya remarked from his position on the bottom bunk, watching as Eijun furiously scribbled down answers for his science homework. Eijun regretted not asking Kazuya to help him with it earlier on in the classroom during their lunch break when he had the chance. Science was like math in a way; they both had had a crap ton of numbers, equations, theories, and formulas to memorize, and in the end, they all just gave Eijun a killer headache when he stared at them for too long, his mind blank and wiped clean of the stuff he'd learned in class.

"I know, I know, but I have to finish my science homework by tonight or else, I'll get in trouble!" Eijun whined, golden eyes never leaving the paper the pencil in his left hand was glued to. Science wasn't as difficult and as antagonizing to understand as math was, but Eijun still had a pretty shitty grade in there from his low test scores. That was what he got for sleeping in class and blabbering on and on about becoming the ace, and yet here he is, failing science class and stuck being number 18, definitely not even close to becoming the ace.

Eijun bit down on his lower lip hard enough to leave his teeth imprints on it, trying to hold back a low growl of frustration as he scanned over the text for the third time. Eijun had usually just slept in science class during his first semester, since it was a morning class, so whenever the teacher would go over the homework with the students, Eijun had usually missed out on it. He had never regretted it as much as he did now; they had a huge test coming up in a matter of days that would be over everything they had learned during the first semester, counting as fifty percent of their total grade, and Eijun wasn't even close to completing his study guide to turn in for the extra credit he needed to boost up his bad grade.

While he knew that he could always ask Kazuya - who was good with this sort of stuff - to help him, he always felt guilty about bothering him with his problem. While Kazuya didn't show signs of hating to help him with his homework, Eijun couldn't help but think that he was a nuisance to the catcher. Before they had begun dating, Eijun hadn't felt bad about asking Kazuya to help him with his homework, but now, he hated it. Eijun always felt stupid when he saw Kazuya marking at his mistakes with his pencil as soon as he was handed the paper, even if they were as simple as a misplaced number.

Eijun felt defeat staring him in the face as he eyed the problem one last time; if the sentence were a person, there would no doubt be a nasty, mean smirk on it's smug face as it laughed at him in his face, calling him every synonym of stupid there was to be found in the dictionary. "Miyuki, are you busy?" Eijun grumbled, trying to avoid looking over at the catcher laying on his stomach on the bottom bunk.

Kazuya smirked as he shifted himself up into a sitting position on the bunk. "Oho, so you do need my help?" Eijun glared at him with little effort, feeling drained of energy.

"Stand up for a second." Eijun gawked at him, fearing that he'd be punished for not completing his homework. Eijun scooted the chair backwards, hesitantly standing from it and stepping aside. He watched as Kazuya sat down in it, patting the empty spot on his lap for Eijun to sit down on. Eijun could feel his blood start to freeze over in his body as he stared at the empty spot apprehensively. Eijun had heard many things relating to sitting on someone's lap, but the one thing he was concerned about was accidentally getting himself, or Kazuya, aroused and having it lead to something sexual. Eijun was still iffy about Kazuya even going into the bathroom with him; he had no idea what he'd do if Kazuya wanted sex.

"Eijun? C'mon, it's okay." Kazuya looked at him concernedly, wondering what was wrong with him. Eijun shifted his weight from foot to foot, unsure of what he should do. It felt like Kazuya's eyes were burning craters into his body as he stood there nonplussed. His mind was buzzing with different thoughts, each overriding one another in the race of what he should say. Eijun could feel a horrible headache start to form as he debated sitting down or not.

'Deep breaths Eijun. Just keep calm. I'm sure nothing bad will happen. Miyuki's not gonna force you into doing anything you don't want.' Eijun sucked in a quick breath of air as he strode over towards Kazuya. "Nothing bad will happen, right?" Eijun questioned hesitantly, fear swirling around in his stomach as he tried not to have a panic attack. He kept reminding himself over and over again that nothing would happen, that he was okay and Kazuya wouldn't do anything to hurt him. But he really needed the catcher's reassurance to assure him he was going to be hurt.

Kazuya didn't reply, instead, he pulled Eijun down onto his lap, wrapping his arms around the pitcher's waist. Eijun was growing nervous, sweat started to form on his upper brow as he tried to ease his conscious. He could feel the catcher lift up the bottom of his shirt, exposing his stomach to the cold air. Eijun shifted nervously when he felt Kazuya's cold hands rest on his stomach. Eijun's fear was growing more with each second that dragged on like hours.

"Miyuki, what are you -" Eijun was cut short when he felt Kazuya's fingers start to tickle his exposed stomach. He had been worrying for no reason. Eijun tried to hold back his laughter, but Kazuya kept tickling him faster until he eventually burst into fits of snorts and giddy laughter. Kazuya always seemed to know ways to make him laugh and smile in situations like this.

"You worry too much for your own good." Kazuya murmured as he rested his chin on Eijun's shoulder. Eijun almost choked on his breath; he knew those words anywhere. Those eight words were the same words he'd told Kazuya, when he was fretting over something, on the bus on their way to the inn. Eijun was a bit surprised to hear that the catcher remembered those words from so long ago. He wondered what else Kazuya remembered him saying.

"We need to do your homework or you'll get in trouble, remember?" Kazuya teased as he nuzzled his head against Eijun's neck. Eijun had forgotten all about his homework. 'Damn this stupid science homework! I can't even enjoy spending time with my boyfriend - wait, did I just think that...? Ahhgggh! Miyuki, you asshole! You're taking over my thoughts, goddammit!'

Eijun stared into Kazuya's light brown eyes, resisting the urge to break out into fits of giggles and spoil the moment they'd created. The room was dark, with the exception of the moon illuminating through the thin curtains on the window. Kazuya was smiling at him gleefully, any wider and his teeth would be showing. Eijun had to admit to himself, laying like this, with just a small space in between them, was rather nice. Kazuya's fingers traced over his plump cheeks, rubbing circles along the soft, tan skin.

"Why are you staring at me like that?" Kazuya whispered in the dark, a smirk playing at his lips as he focused on Eijun's face. The pitcher was something else; he wasn't like any of the others who he could easily lie to and feel absolutely nothing when they believed him; Eijun, though, made lying difficult. His heart was too big for his own good, always putting others needs before his very own. Falling for the loud-mouthed, idiotic pitcher wasn't a mistake or just a mere coincidence; Kazuya had known it would happen to him in time, but never so soon. Eijun was trying his best to fix the pieces that had already been broken, and some of them were starting to stay put, as if Eijun had super glued them back together. But how long would it be before the pieces shattered on the floor once again, sending him spiraling back down into the dark abyss of his depression?

"Just making sure you're okay." Eijun replied, hand finding its way down to Kazuya's wrist, fingers feeling their way along the jagged, raised skin. The scars were still there, a permanent reminder at how much Kazuya hated himself and wished to be a better person. Eijun never understood why Kazuya chose him, of all the other guys, to be his boyfriend, to tell his secrets to, hoping they'd find ways of helping him cope with his depression and thoughts. Why did it have to be him, the one who blew their chance at making it to Koshien?

If he wasn't on the baseball team, he'd just be an average nobody who attended school and supported the team from the stands along with the other normal students. But what would have happened to Kazuya if he had just been a normal guy at Seido? Would he have submerged himself further into his depression, or would he have gotten help from the others? Or, Eijun dared not to think of it, would he have been the talk of the school with rumors flying around every comer about why such an important guy like him would take his own life so suddenly?

"Eijun, you're crying." Kazuya remarked with concern. Eijun raised his free hand up to his face, noting that there were hot tears dripping down his cheeks. He had pondered too much on the idea of what Kazuya would do, or where he would even be, without him there. Eijun wiped the tears away swiftly with the back of his hand, turning over onto his side to avoid looking at Kazuya. All he could see think about were the scars loitering Kazuya's wrists and arms, and how he could easily use anything sharp to create more of them and Eijun would never know; he was too shy to even sneak an innocent peak at Kazuya's body in the bath.

Relationships weren't supposed to be about worrying so much over you significant other's problems, they were about loving each other wholeheartedly and boosting the other up. Eijun was sure he was failing at being a good boyfriend to Kazuya. He never knew he would be getting himself into such a big mess when he said yes to the catcher about wanting to progress further in their friendship. He didn't want to breakup with Kazuya; things would get so awkward between them quickly and it'd only cause more problems than necessary for the team. Besides, it wasn't like he was unhappy with the relationship. Ever since they had started dating, Kazuya treated him as if he was a porcelain doll, never being rough with him and always watching what he'd say to him.

The romantic spark between them had yet to fully ignite, and Eijun was starting to feel like he was burdening the catcher by staying glued to his side. There were things Kazuya refused to tell him about, like his father, middle school, and why he never went to anyone for help with coping with the depression and anxiety, stressing himself out by constantly worrying if his sleeves were properly rolled down to cover the marks and bandages, so he wouldn't worry anyone.

Eijun didn't have to say anything back, he didn't think he even could or risk saying something completely unnecessary. Kazuya shifted, laying himself back down, before wrapping his arms tightly around Eijun's smaller figure. Eijun could feel Kazuya's head resting against the back of his neck, warm, minty breath tickling the inside of his ear.

"Eijun-kun, are you okay?" Haruichi asked him at breakfast, noting how quiet he was being. Eijun nodded slowly, feeling out of place without Kazuya sitting next to him. He'd woken up to an empty bed that morning and assumed that it was his fault for breaking down into tears last night from thinking too much and then turning away from Kazuya when he was trying his best to comfort him. It all just made Eijun feel like an even bigger asshole than ever. It wasn't like they had had an argument, it was more like Eijun pushing Kazuya away from him.

"I'm fine, I guess." He wasn't fine. He just wanted to crawl back into bed and redo the whole night over and correct everything. Eijun secretly envied the normal couples on the team, wishing he and Kazuya could be like that, but knowing it'd be really awkward to even think about kissing behind the coach's back, or dare he even think of it, heated make-out sessions in the storage shed that escalated into something more passionate. Eijun shuddered at the thought of getting caught by Kataoka, or worse...coach Ochiai.

"Harucchi, I have a question." Haruichi set his bowl of rice down on his tray, turning his attention over towards Eijun, who looked nervous for some odd reason. Whatever the question was, Haruichi knew that it was going to leave him blushing pinker than his own eyes. With a gulp, Haruichi asked,"What is it, Eijun-kun?" he knew he was going to regret it once he heard the words fly out of the pitcher's mouth.

"What's kissing Furuya like?" Haruichi couldn't get any redder than he already was. Eijun was asking him for love advice, once again. But something as personal as kissing? What was Eijun thinking? Did he really think that his best friend and his rival were doing inappropriate things? What was Eijun going to ask him next? How different sex positions affect the outcome?

"Uh...well...it's great, I guess? We just simply kiss each other on the lips or cheek, we don't go any further!" Haruichi waved his hands around in front of him for emphasis, receiving a weird look from Eijun in return. The awkward tension between them was soon brought to an end when Eijun's eyes widened, brightening up a bit as Kazuya pulled out the chair next to him, flashing him a cheesy smile.

Had he overheard the whole conversation?

"Good morning, Kominato," Kazuya greeted him with a laugh, before sneaking a messy kiss onto Eijun's cheek, earning a scowl from the pitcher as he wiped the catcher's saliva off of his pink-tinted cheek with the red sleeve of his shirt. "And good morning to you too, Eijun."

Haruichi didn't miss the scrape of Eijun's chair as he shifted himself closer towards the catcher. At least Eijun was starting to get back to his old self.

Eijun was lounging around with Kazuya in the bullpen; they were supposed to be practicing, but decided to take a short break as nobody seemed to be looking in their general direction. As Kazuya gulped down the water from his water bottle, Eijun realized he'd accidentally left his in the dugout. "Miyuki?" The catcher held up his index finger in a gesture of telling Eijun to hold on a second as he drained the last few droplets from his water bottle.

"What's up?" Kazuya asked as he fiddled with the top of his water bottle, trying to see if there was any more water inside. To his dismay, there wasn't, which meant he'd have to pick his ass up from the ground and go hike up the trail to the water cooler near the dugout.

"I left my water bottle in the dugout, can I go get it?" Kazuya smirked, this was perfect. Why get up and waste his precious energy when Eijun could go fill up the bottle for him? He was heading towards the direction of the water cooler, anyways. Holding the red, plastic bottle out, Kazuya motioned for Eijun to take it. Eijun scowled and huffed under his breath, but still took it from the catcher's hand.

"Fill it up all the way, too!" Kazuya shouted, waving him off as he stepped out of the bullpen. Eijun turned his head around swiftly to glare at the catcher, sticking his tongue out at him in a childish manner. If he wasn't dating Kazuya, he would have done so many things he could have done to the water. Grumbling as he made his way to the water cooler, Eijun made a beeline to the dugout first, grabbing his white water bottle from off of the bench, hoping nobody had contaminated his water. Eijun had just spun around when he came face to face with Ochiai. Eijun couldn't help but feel his stomach drop ten feet under him as he looked at the man in front of him uneasily, fearing he'd be in serious trouble if he spoke up.

"Sawamura, are you busy?" Eijun cringed at the man's pronunciation of his last name. For some reason, whenever Ochiai said his name, it sounded like the man had tasted something vulgar. It never sounded the way the others or Kataoka would say it, it sounded really bitter and distasteful, making Eijun somewhat wish that his last name wasn't Sawamura.

"Yes, sir?" Eijun tried his best to be polite when talking to Ochiai whenever Kazuya wasn't around, because unlike his four-eyed partner, Ochiai seemed to dislike him greatly. Eijun couldn't understand why, he trained just as hard as the other pitchers did, he tried not to hog Kazuya all to himself at practice, and he was respectful of the adults and senpai's. Maybe it was because he called Ochiai sergeant? It was all just a big mess to Eijun.

"The first opponent Seido faces in the fall tournaments is a southpaw, just like you, but he's a sidearm pitcher, like Kawakami. Have you ever considered pitching sidearm in batting practice?" Ochiai says it like it's the most natural thing in the world, but Eijun is feeling a bit flustered up, stomach flipping around in circles like a dryer tumbling clothes around. Switch to being a sidearm pitcher? All because he was a southpaw like the pitcher they were up against? Kataoka had never made him pitch like Narumiya, the number one southpaw in the district. He'd also never made Furuya, Nori, or Tanba pitch like Shunshin, Maki, or Sanada. So why was Ochiai trying to differ things up? What exactly was he going to tell Kazuya when they resumed their practice session in the bullpen? That he was switching to being a sidearm pitcher?

"Not really, but...I guess I can give it a shot." Eijun forced a smile on his face as he replied to Ochiai. Kazuya was going to kill him when he heard the news, so Eijun was going to have to make sure Kazuya was in a good mood before he told him. As if he was a mind-reader, Ochiai immediately began a new discussion. "Don't tell Miyuki about this, though. You should start practicing with the other catchers, until your new form is polished, that is." Eijun felt his heart sink down into the pits of his stomach. He loved practicing with Kazuya, and the jealousy inside of him would only skyrocket if he saw him practicing with another pitcher everyday. Chris-senpai wasn't around to catch for him, so his mind wouldn't be drifted away.

"Okay..." It wasn't okay, he didn't want this to happen. He just wanted to pitch to Kazuya's mitt. He didn't want to be split apart from his favorite person. How was he supposed to monitor Kazuya's behavior if he wasn't allowed to be pitching to him? The horrible possibilities were endlessly piling up inside of Eijun's mind, making him feel guilty about having gotten involved in the sticky situation. He could have just said no and went on his merry way, forgetting about everything to do with Kazuya mutilating his own skin with any sharp object he could get a hold off, just to release the pent up frustration and sadness that burrowed deep into the darkened abyss of his heart. But what if he had caught Kazuya in the action? Then what? It would become his business, but then again, it wouldn't. It wasn't his skin and he and Kazuya probably wouldn't even be dating, so it wouldn't be his problem, since Kazuya wouldn't be his boyfriend, either.

Eijun walked past Ochiai wordlessly, lost in his own deep thoughts about what he was going to do. Eijun had forgotten to refill the water bottle up for Kazuya, so he'd just let the catcher have some of his; he wasn't exactly thirsty anymore. Eijun wondered who would be willing to catch his awful sidearm pitches? Eijun didn't know the first thing about being a sidearm pitcher; he was so used to having his own unique form that even the thought of switching forms never seemed to cross his mind. His unique form adapted to his flexible body and it never hurt when he pulled his arm all the way back and then instantly snapped it forward with ease. Being a sidearm pitcher could render his flexibility. Eijun figured it would be best to ask Kawakami about it. But then again, Kawakami was a right handed pitcher; Eijun was a southpaw.

The bullpen came in sight up ahead, Kazuya still sitting around bored, spinning the baseball on the tip of his finger around like how a basketball player would do with a basketball. Eijun really wanted to learn the spinning technique, but never had enough patience to actually sit down, learn it, and actually perfect it. It took him forever to learn how to ride a bike without training wheels attached to the back wheel for balance and stability. Maybe he was just going to have to let Kazuya go and perfect his sidearm pitching with another catcher.

"Hey, what took you so long? And why the glum face, did someone say something to you?" Kazuya was worried about him, like he always was. Eijun shrugged his shoulders belatedly, handing the catcher his bottle of water he'd retrieved from the dugout, moments before he'd run into Ochiai. Kazuya took it with a small thanks, taking it up to his parted lisp to let the fluid into his mouth to quench his thirst. If his mind wasn't a hazy mess at the moment, Eijun would have been a bit embarrassed as he realized that giving Kazuya his water bottle and letting him drink from it was practically an indirect kiss.

At dinnertime, Eijun had scanned the cafeteria full of the remaining baseball team members until he spotted Kawakami sitting with Shirasu and Ono at one of the front tables, eating their dinner and chatting about something Eijun couldn't hear from his spot next to Haruichi and Furuya as they sat at one of the far back tables with the other first years, away from the second years. Eijun was growing anxious as he hadn't seen Kazuya since they had departed ways. Eijun had wanted to stay behind with Kazuya to put away the balls, but Kazuya had exhorted him to go bathe with the other first years, promising that they'd regroup again at dinner.

Dinner had started fifteen minutes ago and there was still no trace of Kazuya. Eijun was beginning to grow worried as he knew that leaving Kazuya alone was never a good idea, but Kazuya had forced him to go with the other first years to the bath. Eijun would've protested, but Kanemaru had butted in, grabbing a hold of the back of his jersey, pulling him along without much effort. Eijun had watched as Kazuya's figure retreated, growing smaller and smaller in the distance and then completely out of Eijun's sight.

Getting up from his chair, giving a reassuring gesture with his hands to Haruichi and Furuya as they had glanced up at him questioningly. "Where are you going, Eijun-kun?" Haruichi questioned, the chopsticks in his hands frozen in the air, still holding a few pieces of rice on it. Eijun assured him that he would be right back, and that he was only going to go talk to the senpai for a few minutes. Haruichi exchanged mixed glances with Furuya, but shrugged and resumed eating.

Eijun glanced around the tables for any signs of Kazuya, but it was useless. He could point out the bespectacled catcher anywhere, even in a crowded stadium with over a thousand people. Kazuya was easy to point out; white hat, black framed glasses, and that stupid smirk were the key factors to his appearance.

Upon arriving at Kawakami's table, Eijun found it hard to come up with anything to say to the sidearm pitcher. While Eijun knew that he could fully converse with him, he found it a bit harder to do since Kazuya wasn't around to cover for him, just in case the wrong thing slipped out of his mouth and he was too flustered up to continue on. 'Damn it...I rely too much on Miyuki for my own good.'

"Sawamura, what are you doing?" Eijun blanched at the sound of Shirasu's low, gruff voice. Eijun peered up shyly, meeting the intense gazes of the second years sitting at the table near the quiet and reserved right fielder. They were surprised to see that Eijun was all by himself, always having seen him tagging closely alongside Kazuya like a faithful dog. Seeing Eijun by himself, without the catcher anywhere near him, was preposterous. The pitcher didn't look melancholy; he looked just about the same as he always did every other day.

"Nori-senpai, can I, um, talk to you about something?" Eijun fidgeted with the hem of his t-shirt nervously, the comforting presence of the catcher that he had grown fond of wasn't there to support him. He was all on his own. Murmurs about why he was all on his own and why Kazuya wasn't with him were filling his ears, swirling around in his mind, bouncing off of each other, giving Eijun a headache as he tried to block out their words.

"Sit down, Sawamura." Shirasu instructed, motioning at the empty seat in front of the sidearm pitcher. Eijun pulled out the chair, trying to ignore the curious, questioning glances from the other senpai as he slowly sunk down into the chair. It was awkward sitting with the second years, even if they weren't intimidating, they were still older than he was and more experienced and wiser.

"So...what did you want to talk about, Sawamura?" Kawakami asked with a polite smile on his face, trying to ease Eijun from his nervousness as he sat with the other members of the baseball team. Eijun peered up, then looked back down at his hands clutching the soft, gray fabric of his sweatpants. "I want to switch to be being a sidearm pitcher," The once boisterous chatter of the table muted as the words left Eijun's lips softly, almost as if he, too, weren't too happy about the situation at hand.

Everyone was either gawking, mouths agape, or their eyes widening in disbelief. Eijun was a southpaw who's body was naturally flexible with supple joints, allowing him to immediately change the direction of his pitch. His form also doesn't allow the batter, or catcher, to see the release point of the pitch. Why would he want to change from the form he'd worked hard to improve over the summer to another form that he'd have to work on all fall? And wouldn't changing to a different pitching form destroy his on?

"W-why?" Kawakami sputtered out, still reeling from the shock of Eijun's words. Eijun merely shrugged. "I want to be important to the team, since the next pitcher we're up against is a southpaw, like me, but he's a sidearm pitcher, just like you, Nori-senpai." The others were still trying to make sense of the words, finding it hard to believe that Eijun would just get up and throw away all the hard work he'd accomplished over the summer with his form and start all over form scratch, just because of another pitcher.

"I understand that you want to help the team by imitating the other pitcher's pitches, but aren't you worried about what will happen to your original form if you switch?" Shirasu questioned him suddenly, making every hair on Eijun's body stand up from the cold tone. Was he worried about what will happen to his original form if he does switch? Of course. But Kazuya's reaction worried him more than destroying his form.

"I guess that it can't hurt to help you, Sawamura, but have you talked to Miyuki about this?" Eijun shrunk down into his chair more, afraid he'd be asked that question. He couldn't lie, because it'd be written all over his face, and he was terrible at lying. But if he told the truth, then Kawakami wouldn't help him. There was only one thing to do. "I-It's a surprise!" Eijun barked, face heating up as he tried to explain why he hadn't told Kazuya about switching forms. Kawakami blinked in surprise, part of him wasn't believing the other pitcher, but Eijun looked so determined that it was almost physically painful to say no to him.

"Alright, if you're sure about it." Eijun leaped up from his chair, thanking the side-armed pitcher with repeatedly. Heading back to his seat, Eijun noticed that it had now been occupied by a certain bespectacled catcher he knew all too well. "Scoot over." Eijun grumbled, folding his arms against his chest, and furrowing his brow as he gave the catcher the most menacing look he could muster up. Kazuya merely snorted into his hand at the look, finding the look on Eijun's face to be as cute as a baby animals, rather than menacing like a criminal posing for a mugshot.

"Just sit on my lap." Kazuya teased, smirking to himself as a red blush engulfed the pitcher's tanned face. Eijun rolled his eyes, deciding to just drag up a vacant chair from one of the tables behind them instead of embarrassing himself any further by sitting on the catcher's lap. Eijun was a bit preoccupied with his thoughts to notice that Kazuya had sneakily stolen food from off his plate. With glowered at the catcher, raising his voice to yell at the catcher to stop stealing his food when he had a full plate of food and a bowl of rice in front of him. Haruichi, who had been watching the scene between the two unfold, giggled at the sight of Eijun offhandedly accusing Kazuya, who was sporting a nasty, shit-eating grin on his face, of stealing his food.

"Eijun-kun, you and Miyuki-senpai are cute together." Eijun paused in the accusation, turning his head slowly towards Haruichi, arm still out, index finger still pointed at the catcher, who had fallen silent himself in goading Eijun on. Eijun slowly withdrew his arm back, taking his finger away from Kazuya's direction. Eijun was speechless. How could Haruichi just out and say that so casually. Eijun couldn't understand why people thought they were such a "cute couple" when they barely knew what it was like for them. They were just like any of the other couples you'd see walking around the campus, they just never seemed to act like they were a couple.

"So..." Kazuya begun slowly, unsure of what to say next. Eijun had just asked him if he could catch for Furuya, and Kazuya was beginning to wonder if there was something he'd done to upset Eijun, but the pitcher reassured him that it wasn't the reason. "Is it alright if you catch for Furuya at practice for a while?" Eijun tried to ignore the uncanny feeling swirling around in his stomach as he tried to ease himself off of Kazuya. He didn't want to hog Kazuya all to himself, but part of him got overworked with jealousy whenever he saw Kazuya catching for another pitcher, especially if said pitcher was the ace, Furuya.

"I guess, but aren't you gonna be overcome with jealousy by seeing me practicing with Furuya and not you?" Kazuya flashed him a solicitous look, but Eijun kept up the facade. "You're being awfully nice to someone who has the number and title that you want. Are you sick or something?" Kazuya wasn't falling for it, sensing cracks in the masks that Eijun had put up to conceal the truth about something he'd done or was about to do.

"Eijun, if something's wrong, then just tell me. I won't get mad at you or call you any names." Kazuya tried to ease the truth out of him, but Eijun's lips were zipped tightly. Kazuya wouldn't understand him. Eijun hated to lie to Kazuya about such an important thing, but Kazuya had been the one to start the lying game himself, and Eijun sometimes felt like he was nothing more than a pawn in the game, and if he fell any deeper into the catcher's inescapable plethora of traps, he'd never be able to fully come to terms with the aftermath.

"I'm fine, Miyuki." Eijun replied with a heavily forced smile on his face, burying the guilt he was feeling deep within his chest.

Eijun had anticipated on lunch break the next day. He'd made Kazuya stay behind in the classroom, noting the catcher's nose had been runny and his eyes were watery, and he sneezed constantly. Eijun had been carrying around tissues in the pockets of his uniform pants all day, handing them over whenever the catcher sniffled, his nose started running, or he sneezed, and made snot come flying out of his nose. While Kazuya tried to play it off as simply his allergies acting up, Eijun wasn't falling for it. He could have made Kazuya stay in bed and rest, the catcher assured him that he would fine; he refused to miss school or baseball practice over something small.

Upon entering the class Haruichi and Furuya were in, he saw them sitting in the back, along with some of the first year members on the second string, by the windows. Haruichi was the first to notice him, smiling and waving at him from across the room. Eijun smiled as he walked towards the group of first years sitting in the group. "What brings you here, Eijun-kun?" Haruichi cocked his head to the side, wondering just what Eijun was doing here when he usually ate his lunch with Kazuya in the pitcher's classroom. Kazuya had been at morning practice, and had walked back with Eijun to the dorms, and Haruichi had seen the two of them walking to school together, and he'd witnessed Kazuya dropping Eijun off in his first period before making his way up the stairs to his first period on the second years floor. So why was Eijun here when he should technically be with his boyfriend?

"I need to talk to Kariba, but I couldn't do it at practice, because I want to surprise Miyuki." Lying became easier to do as he got used to it and did it more frequently. He knew Haruichi didn't believe him from the sour expression lingering on his face, but the others, especially Furuya, seemed fully convinced, otherwise. They scooted their chairs and desks over and made room for Eijun to pull up a chair to join the group. "What'd you want to talk about Sawamura?" Kariba inquired, seeming to be fooled by Eijun's lie. "Will you catch for me? I wanna try pitching sidearm!" Haruichi shifted in his seat, probably giving him a weird look from behind those long, pink bangs. Eijun was sometimes grateful the second baseman never cut or pinned his bangs back out of his face, even though he had nice, pinkish-red eyes, he didn't want to see what those eyes looked like when Haruichi was pissed at him.

"Sure thing, but won't your boyfriend be upset about it?" Eijun fidgeted at the word "boyfriend", it was so weird hearing it come out from someone else's mouth when he wasn't used to hearing it come from his own or Kazuya's.

Eijun stood at the mound, Kariba squatting in the catcher's box, mitt out, ready to catch his pitch in his new form. He'd received a few pointers from Kawakami, but it was hard to learn and figure out the correct footing and position when Kawakami wasn't a southpaw. Eijun had decided to mirror the sidearm-pitcher's stance, switching his foot to first base instead of third base. Eijun could feel the eyes of everyone in the dugout watching him.

"Come on, Sawamura!" Eijun could only hope that he wouldn't make a complete fool out of himself in front of everyone. Winding up, Eijun shouted,"Here I go!" Eijun sucked in a deep breath, puffing his cheeks out with a determined gaze, and threw his right foot down, as he let his left arm swing off to the side, it felt so unnatural to him.

He heard the sound of the half-assed pitch hitting the mitt with a smack. Somehow, the ball he'd thrown using a sidearm form just didn't sound as satisfying when it hit the catcher's mitt as it did when he pitched in his normal form. Eijun tried his best to be positive about it. At least the damn ball actually hit the mitt this time around. "How did you like my sidearm pitch!? It can be put to some use, right?"

The answers he got in return weren't what he'd expected.

"...Yup, it's amusing."

"Funny, funny."

"Nice trick, uh-huh."

"I-Is it that bad!?" He knew it was bad, but hearing the others call him out on it stung his heart a little. "I heard our next opponent will a southpaw sidearmer, right!? Same age as me, too! So, as the only southpaw, I decided to give the team a helping hand...!" The others started to laugh at him as if he were a lunatic. Eijun blushed red in mortification. "What!? What are you laughing at!?"

Kazuya didn't seem angry at him, rather amused at him. Or maybe he was just pulling a facade, and Eijun was going to get yelled at and lectured when they returned to their dorm? "Did you come up with that idea on your own?" Kazuya smirked at him from his position next to coach Kataoka. Eijun mocked a salute to him. "Sir, no sir! The sergeant is to credit! His advice was my motivation!"

Kazuya, along with the others, seemed quite confused at who Eijun was referring too as "sergeant". Kataoka, understanding just who Eijun was referring to as "sergeant", shot Ochiai a sharp glance, but didn't say anything.

"Boss! I'm ready to throw to the batters!" Eijun yelled from the mound, wondering what was taking Kataoka so long to address him. Eijun was dying to pitch, no matter if it was sidearm, underhand, or his regular form.

"We only have four days 'till the match, right!? If you just order me to, I'll become your batting-practice pitcher for as long as you need me to! And I could throw not just sidearm, but also underhand, too, if you want me too!" He was basically offering out of his own will to become just a side supporter for the team.

Kataoka had finally come to a decision. Turning towards Eijun, Kataoka's piercing gaze from behind his shades made Eijun's blood freeze inside of his body. "I don't need a lousy sidearmer. Get off the mound, Sawamura, you're in the way of practice." Turning away from Eijun, Kataoka ordered the other players to start warming up.

Eijun looked dejected that he had been ordered to get off of the mound, and that he couldn't be of use to the batters at practice. 'I'm...I'm in the waaay!? It's not like I'm all eager to do this, either! But if I can help the team, at least a little, this way -'

"Sawamura," Eijun turned to look at Kataoka, expecting a harsh lecture. "Haven't you been trying to polish the low and away pitch? why did you stop halfway through? I appreciate your desire to help the team in any way you can, but what will you have left if you destroy your form with halfhearted sidearm pitching?" The words sunk deep into Eijun's heart, carving their way on the surface of it as a permanent scar of his naive self for trusting Ochai's word.

Kataoka turned his attention towards Kazuya, who had been closely watching him with an expression Eijun couldn't read. "Miyuki, we'll be doing a game simulation today. Have the pitchers get ready!" Kazuya snapped his gaze away from Eijun, to call out a loud,"Yes, sir!"

Kataoka turned to where Maezono, Kuramochi, Higasa and the other batters standing not too far behind him. "At the same time, the batters' task is to practice sign plays with runners on base. Put pressure and shake up the pitchers when you're on base!" The reply of,"Yes, sir!" Reverberated throughout the field, as the members started to scatter around the field like mice, leaving Eijun still standing up on the mound, glove still on his right hand, a sour expression permanently marked on his face.

"Coach, should I include Eijun into the game simulation?" Kazuya asked loudly as Kataoka passed him by, making sure the coach would hear his question over the emphatic chatter of the other members scattering about. "Yeah, and make sure to tell him to pitch in his own style! It will be the biggest disservice to the team if its indispensable fighting power ends up destroying his form in the middle of the tournament."

Eijun had just returned from the bath to the dorm he shared with Kazuya, his brown hair still dripping with droplets of water, wetting his shirt with big blotches. Eijun noticed a piece of lined paper on the desk with his name largely written across the top. Taking the note off the desk, Eijun sat down on the bunk, towel still on his head, to read the note the catcher had left for him.

"Dear Eijun, I'll be back in a bit, just running to the doctors with Rei-chan to pick up my prescription." Eijun read aloud, trying to imitate the catcher's voice as best he could. Kazuya had been suffering from allergies for the past few days, and with a game in just a few short days, Seido didn't need their star catcher, who was also team captain, with a runny nose or itchy, watery eyes calling terrible plays.

Eijun was tired from practice, wanting nothing more than to drift off into a blissful slumber, but his phone refused to let him, buzzing in a "You've got mail" sort of way. Groaning in frustration, Eijun turned on his phone, expecting it to be a text from Kazuya, but, to his surprise, it wasn't from the four-eyed catcher. No, it was from Wakana.

"Eijun, you have a game coming up, right!? I just wanted to wish you good luck out there! Also, is Miyuki-san your boyfriend yet? - Wakana-chan" While it was sweet that she was supporting him and wished him good luck, he was still a little unsure if he should tell her that he and Kazuya were dating, but it didn't quite feel like dating to him; the relationship was slow and simple, the way Eijun had wanted it to be, yet he wasn't sure if it was fair to the boy he was dating. The boy who took such great care of him, who called plays for him during games, who would play catch with him until it got too cold or too dark outside to continue, and the boy who had loved him from the very start, yet Eijun felt he was far too dependent on Kazuya than necessary; it shouldn't be Kazuya taking care of him, it should be the opposite way around.

He had promised himself he wouldn't tell his parents about the relationship until he saw them in person again. Telling them over the phone wouldn't be proper, and what about his old friends in Nagano? He wanted to tell them in person, as well. They'd probably joke with him about nailing an important figure of the baseball world as a boyfriend, and then proceed with the embarrassing, personal questions about their relationship that would make Eijun's face turn bright red, and would leave Kazuya chuckling nervously beside him, afraid of saying the wrong thing to Eijun's friends and getting hell from them.

Eijun replied back to her with,"Thanks for the support, Wakana-chan. And you'll see soon."

Eijun couldn't sleep. Kazuya had come back a mere hours ago, yet it still felt like he'd entered the room a few minutes ago. They'd exchanged greetings, and Kazuya had changed into his pajamas and then climbed into the bed next to him. Eijun was grateful he hadn't down the slow, undressing game. The last time Kazuya teased him about his innocence with the silly game, his fingers had just traced over the outline of his boxers black waistline, ready to pull them down, when Eijun gave in to his own embarrassment and covered his eyes with his hands to obstruct his vision from seeing what was hiding inside of Kazuya's red and black boxers.

He supposed going out for a stroll in the cold night wouldn't be such a bad idea, but he didn't want to risk getting sick again and having to sit, or be taken, out of a game. Pitching to him came as natural as breathing; the adrenaline that shot throughout his body like tiny lightening bolts as he stepped up on the mound, the feeling of the wind blowing in his face when he whipped his arm forward to release the ball from his grip, and the umpire's deep, boisterous voice shouting,"Strike!" when it landed in Kazuya's mitt, the batter's face stuck between confusion and shock as he looked at the ball in the mitt from the batters box.

Waking Kazuya up would make him grouchy and less than favorable to converse with when he kept grumbling under his breath about it wasn't even close to the time the alarm rang and how it was still dark outside. There were times in the morning where Kazuya refused to get up, mumbling about needing an extra five more minutes when they were already running extremely late for practice and would have to run extra laps to make up for the time they'd wasted.

Letting his hands find Kazuya's sleeve, he slide his fingers underneath the soft fabric, tracing them up and down the jagged scars on the catcher's wrist, wondering if it had hurt when Kazuya made those marks, and how old they were. How was he the only one who Kazuya confided in about his problem when there were others far more suited to know about this than him. Why didn't Kazuya tell Kuramochi, his best friend, that he was hurting? Or even Chris? Surely the third-year catcher would be of better assistance to Kazuya than he was.

Leading his hand down under the covers, Eijun slide his hand into the catcher's large, open one, giving it a gentle squeeze to let Kazuya know he was there for him. He felt Kazuya's fingers wrap themselves around the outer part of his hand, squeezing it back firmly.

"Goodnight, Miyuki." Eijun whispered in the darkness. Neither said a word after that, but that was okay. They didn't need to say anymore.

Kazuya wanted to believe, more than anything else, that Eijun wouldn't leave him or break him apart more than he already was, but the future was vast and unknown and knowing Eijun, if he was unhappy, he wouldn't stick around him any longer.

And that completes Chapter 11! :D

Uwaaaah, i'm sorry for the wait. U_U Like, this was supposed to be out on Christmas, but I had a family emergency and had no time to write. ;o;

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this chapter as I had worked my ass off trying to make it long to make up for the monthly update I missed. I promise that I'll be more productive with my monthly updates! ^^

If you liked this chapter, leave review, follow, favorite, or whatever. And if you have any suggestions or questions about the story in general, drop them in the review box or PM me and I'll get back to you ASAP! :D