Here's the conclusion of Killshot. Hope you enjoy it.

Disclaimer: These characters are way too good to be mine so they still belong to ABC, AWM et al.

Chapter 12

Killshot (Part 2)

When she returned from her run, Kate was feeling much calmer. She had a quick shower, grabbed a bite to eat and returned to the sofa. She picked up the diary, took a deep breath to steel herself for the task in hand and carried on with her latest entry.

The next morning I was back at my desk, hiding both a hell of a hangover and my bandaged arm. The gash probably needed stitches but I'd just wrapped a dressing round it. Blood was clearly visible but I simply pulled the sleeve of my jacket down and continued with the pretence that I was fine. I was reviewing the tape of the sniper planting the wind gauge. Something was nagging at me about the film but I couldn't put my finger on it.

It appeared the moleskin hadn't produced any useful evidence but Castle suddenly burst into the precinct. He'd worked out that the paper dolls which had been found in the two hides were predictive. The doll found at the Sarah Vasquez hide was The Persecussion of Kings and Henry Wyatt had been killed on King Street. The doll at Henry Wyatt's hide was called The Fall from Grace. We just had to try to work out which of the many places with 'Grace' in the name was the location for the next attack. Before we could even begin, though, all the phones in the bullpen rang at once. We were too late. There'd been another shooting.

Castle and I headed out to the scene. I was struggling again. The noise, the people, everything was a blur. I managed to focus back on Castle who was about to enter the building, Grace Point Tower. We met a paramedic pushing a gurney with a shooting victim, Emily Rees. Thankfully, it appeared she was not seriously wounded and was the only casualty but she was in a panicked state. Sadly, so was I. I tried to question her but she could only respond with terrified questions of her own,

"Why me? What did I do? Why is somebody trying to kill me?"

The more she panicked, the worse I was. She was terrified of going outside, convinced the guy was still there, waiting. All of a sudden, I had to get away. I had to be on my own because I could tell I was about to lose it completely and I really did not want that to happen in public. I ushered the paramedic away with Emily and ran. I saw a door marked Employees Only and knew that was my best chance of privacy. I was vaguely aware of Castle's voice calling after me but I really didn't want him to see me like this. I was gasping back the tears as I pulled off my gloves and jacket. I flung them on the floor, together with my badge and gun, leaned against the wall for a moment and then the tears came. As I sank to my knees, I knew I couldn't do this anymore. This was it. Kate Beckett had lost. Game over.

Eventually I managed to drag myself back to the precinct because I had nowhere else to go. I couldn't go back to the empty apartment, I was afraid that I'd fall into the bottle again and much though I didn't want anybody to see me falling apart, I knew I couldn't be alone. Maybe, if I could just get on with my job, I could get through this. I walked into the bullpen, head down, hoping that my entrance would go unnoticed. But Javi noticed and told me to follow him. I didn't know why, but we headed to the Evidence Room.

He said he wanted to show me something. That something turned out to be a rifle, the sniper rifle that shot me. I could barely look at it. What the hell was he doing? I made a vague attempt to pull rank but I was rapidly losing any semblance of control I may have had. I couldn't believe my friend was torturing me like this. He told me he knew what I was going through. I was just about to fling that back in his face when it began to dawn on me. Javier Esposito was a former Marine who had seen plenty of combat. He had returned suffering from PTSD. Maybe he really did know what I was going through.

He talked to me in his quiet way about the gun and the guy who used it. He said that just like every other bad guy, my sniper and this current one were damaged goods. That hit home and I was finally able to admit to my problem,

"So am I."

He told me that that was okay; it wasn't a weakness, it could be a strength; it was a part of me so I had to accept it and use it to my advantage. As the tears rolled down my face, I slowly stepped towards the rifle and took it in my trembling hands. Javi's eyes were so full of compassion, I don't think, in all the years I've known him, I've ever seen him like that. I nodded my head to him very slightly and he left me alone. I think it was at that moment that I saw the first glimmer of light and I will be forever in his debt. He may just have saved my life in that room.

I decided to act on Espo's advice and went to the building where the sniper shot Henry Wyatt from, taking the rifle with me. Maybe if I could get into the mind of the shooter, I'd be able to get some sort of lead. I looked through the scope and wondered why it was he'd shot from the room when that made the target more difficult; there was a tree in the way for Christ's sake. I went out onto the roof then. Surely that would have made the shot easier. I started to climb the ladder when my surgery scar suddenly pulled, sending a sharp pain right through my body. There was no way I was getting up to that rooftop. And in that moment, the answer came and kicked me in the ass. He couldn't climb up there any more than I could. The film I'd watched over and over again of him planting the wind gauge, he was limping in it. He had a physical disability that prevented him from climbing to the roof.

I called in to find that Ryan, Esposito and Castle had gone to a coffee shop nearby after finding a possible new lead so I joined them. I told them what I'd discovered and the coffee shop owner was then able to identify the sniper as a homeless guy who he thought may well have a prosthetic leg. With that information we headed back to the precinct and reduced our suspect list of over two hundred down to just three. Once we had the sketch artist's drawing from the coffee shop owner's description, we had our man, Lee Travis.

It was strange how I was now able to fully focus on the case. I felt as though I'd been injected with some form of adrenalin which had spurred me into action. I was back firing on all cylinders; well maybe not quite all but more, anyway.

Castle and I interviewed Travis's sister. It appeared that Lee was left disillusioned by life after losing his leg and leaving the army. One thing she said hit me like a sledgehammer,

"You can't give help if someone won't take it."

I noticed Castle glance at me, our thoughts, as always, in synch, neither of us thinking about Lee Travis at that moment but someone much closer. We continued with the interview but the only useful information was a description of the car Travis was using. She asked us not to hurt him. I couldn't make that promise; didn't want to, if I'm honest.

Next, Castle and I headed to the third hide, the place he'd shot Emily Rees from. We had to find the paper doll. It was the only way to prevent us having yet another victim. Or victims, as it turned out. Castle found the doll, only this time it was a string of dolls. He planned a multiple shooting.

Travis's car had been found but although he'd left some ammunition the rifle was missing. He was out there, somewhere, planning his next attack and we had no clue where that would be and time was clearly running out. Just as we were beginning to despair, Castle ran into the bullpen. He'd been looking into the painting from which the row of paper dolls had been cut and had managed to identify it as Lions in the Meadow. That led us to Central Park. I headed out to the Park with Esposito while Ryan and Castle stayed at the precinct to try to narrow down our search.

We got the information we needed while we were en route and were left with two buildings to search. He was only going to shoot from a high vantage point so that reduced our search area to all floors above the twentieth. We didn't have enough manpower to search in teams so I ended up alone on the twenty fourth floor where I found an open door, suite 2421. I reported that I was going in and entered carefully and quietly. Looking round the suite, I saw the open door. As I glanced through, I could see a photograph of a school bus, his target no doubt, and the barrel of the rifle. This was it. I burst through the door with the usual warning shout to be greeted by a seemingly empty room but before I could process anything, I was smashed in the face by an elbow. As I sprawled across the floor, I lost my gun and before I knew it, I was sitting there, looking up into the barrel of a hand gun.

I knew my only chance was to talk him down. My mind went back to what Javi said to me about damaged goods. Lee Travis was damaged goods and so was I, so, come on, Kate, use it to your advantage. Hell, I even showed him my scar. I really thought I'd got to him for a moment when I said we had too much in common to be enemies but then he said,

"No, we don't."

That was it. He was going to pull the trigger and my life would be over this time. He raised the gun again, was good enough to apologise and then ...a shot rang out but I felt no pain. Travis was down, dead. I looked out of the window and there was Javier Esposito on the opposite rooftop. He'd saved my life again. I was fast owing that man a hell of a lot.

Back at the precinct we wound the case up. I found Castle sitting in his usual spot by my desk looking unusually pensive. When I asked him what he was doing, his reply was curious,

"Just waiting for my partner."

Like I said, curious.

"Maybe you've seen her. Pretty girl,"

Yeah, okay, so that was sweet,

"Thinks she can leap tall buildings in a single bound; carries the weight of the world on her shoulders,"

What the hell? Okay, so that may be true.

"But still manages to laugh at some of my jokes."

Well, some of them are occasionally funny, Castle. But all I said was,

"She sounds like a handful," and, put like that, I guess I am.

Castle obviously thinks so,

"Tell me about it," he replied.

"Anyway, if you do see her, tell her she owes me about a hundred coffees."

Fair comment, I can live with that debt. I had to thank him, then, though and he seemed genuinely confused; so I explained,

"For not pushing; giving me the space to get through this."

Then he said it; the word I'd not heard for so long; the word that means so much; the word I'd craved,

"Always."

And just like that, the light at the end of the tunnel grew far, far brighter.

I've been to see Dr. Burke today; a scheduled appointment this time, so no need to cause chaos in reception. He asked how I felt now Lee Travis was dead and the sniper case over. I'd thought my PTSD, which, yes I have now accepted, was a result of my shooting but now I've realised it began so much longer ago; 9th January 1999 to be precise; the moment Detective John Raglan told us my mother was dead. For almost thirteen years I've allowed it to define me, to drive me. But now? Now I understand that in many ways it's an addiction, just like my dad's alcoholism and when I told Javi that I was damaged goods, that was my version of 'My name's Jim and I'm an alcoholic;' the first step on the long road to recovery. Dr. Burke has promised to help me; help me get over the nagging feeling that by letting go, I'm somehow letting my mom down. The time is right, though. I want to be better. I want to be more.

With that, Kate smiled to herself and put the pen and diary away. The sniper case, brutal as it had been for her, was a major turning point in her life. Finally, after all these years, she was ready to let go. She knew the path would not be easy but she also knew she had good friends who would help her along the way and, above all others, a man patiently waiting for her; a man who loved her; a man who was worth, well, simply everything.

Please let me know what you think of this. It was such an emotional episode and I found it very hard to get all that across. As for the scene with Esposito and Beckett, that has to be some of the best acting ever and I'm so glad Jon and Stana both won Prism Awards for their performances in this episode.